Under the wing of the Virtues
by professionalprimadonna
Summary: Thirteen years after Promised Day, the homunculi are resurrected and the Elrics must take care of them. Post!Canon-AU in the Mangaverse, Hohenheim is still alive, Winry is dying and Selim and Pride are two separate beings, similar to Greedling. Warning: OCs, OOCness, several pairings, Shounen-Ai and major character death. Rated M because language, sex, violence and angst.
1. Preamble

_A/N: This is a PostPromisedDay!AU located in the Mangaverse, where Hohenheim is still alive and Winry is dying. Selim and Pride are two different beings, similar to Greedling. Warning: OCs and lots of OOCness here and several pairings, Shounen-Ai and such stuff, don't like, don't read. Sorry, but not sorry. XD_

Summary: Thirteen years after Promised Day, the six dead homunculi come back to life because of an idiot alchemist attempting human transmutation and the Truth being a troll. Selim Bradley, formerly known as Pride the Arrogant, wants to give his siblings another chance and asks the Elrics and Hohenheim for help. Hohenheim decides to call in a favour from some old friends, who agree to watch over their resurrected counterparts. However, that means that all fourteen have to move in together and the Elric family and friends have to join the household! Take our favourite brothers and their father, a sick Winry, their cute little kids, seven troublesome Sins and their long-suffering opposite Virtues and you have chaos galore! Can this odd group live together in one house without killing each other? Read and you'll find out!

Warning: This will be a very LONG story with a lot of filler chapters, angst, character death, violence, sex and slow burn romance. If you can't handle that, don't read this.


	2. Prologue

**Prologue** *narrator's POV*

The alchemist watched as his transmutation circle was enveloped in bright flashes of energy. Having tried to bring back his dead family, not out of grief but the wish to play god, he let the bright light consume him, thinking that he had succeeded.

Next he knew, he found himself in a blank space in front of a huge, blank door.

" _Oh dear. Another trespasser_."

Upon hearing the detached voice behind him, he turned around. There sat a white humanoid being without a face.

"Who are you?"

" _Ah, I was waiting for you to ask this! Some people might call me the world. Or the universe. Or God. Or the Truth. Or All. Or One. And I am also you_."

The white creature pointed with a finger at him.

Then it shook its head. " _Most people commit the taboo out of ignorance. They don't know the consequences. For seeing the truth, they must pay a toll. It's the law of Equivalent Exchange. You on the other hand knew._ "

The alchemist nodded. "And I'm willing to pay any toll that's asked of me."

Suddenly a mouth appeared on the Truth's face, turning into a sinister smirk and it chuckled darkly. " _Oh no, foolish mortal. In your arrogance, you performed an act that cannot be atoned for. There is no toll to equal it. Except for your entire being. For your Hubris, I will give you the despair that you deserve_."

Realisation hit the alchemist like a cold shower. He screamed as black tendrils wrapped around him and the Gate consumed him. Then he was no more.

The Truth watched as the Gate closed itself, locking away the foolish trespasser. Then its cold grin became kinder and a little more thoughtful, as it spoke to the Gate.

" _Hm...now what to do...oh, I know! Let's make a little experiment, shall we?"_

Meanwhile in the human world, six people awoke inside the dark cellar room. A woman, four men and an androgynous teen with a palm tree-like hairstyle.

They opened their eyes and looked around in confusion.

The woman, a gorgeous lady in a black dress, was the first to sit up. "Ugh, my head. What did just happen? One second I'm in limbo, now I'm here?"

"Lust?", a raspy, slightly feminine voice answered and the teen sat up.

The woman nodded: "Yes. So you're here too, Envy."

"Yeah, seems so – what the fuck? When did you die, Greed?!"

"Long story. Hey, ugly. Long time no see."

"How dare you call me ugly, you fucking-"

"You two, please! This is no time for an argument. We need to figure out what happened and where we are. Apparently someone brought us back."

"Living...again...such a pain..."

"Lust!" Suddenly she was glomped by a very fat bald man.

She chuckled and wriggled out of his grasp. "Hello, Gluttony."

"I missed you so much!"

The being named Envy scowled: "Man, do you always have to be so sentimental?"

Turning around, she asked: "So everyone is here? Wait, where is Pride?"

"He is still alive", a new male voice answered. "Probably currently raised as a human."

"Hello, Wrath. I see, you too are back again."

"Yes, I am."

Greed's voice interrupted the conversation: "Yeah, yeah, everyone is here...wait, where is that little shit of a big brother, Pride?"

Wrath sighed: "I just told you. He's still alive."

"And how do you know?!"

"He was fighting the Fullmetal Alchemist. And that boy doesn't have the guts to kill anyone."

Greed scratched his head: "Oh yeah, now that you mention it..."

Envy sighed: "Okay, whatever, now let's get outta here. I don't want to sit here forever!"

So the six newly resurrected sins left the house and roved around Central, no one remembered them. Even Wrath, formerly King Bradley, wasn't recognised.

No one remembered.

After days of wandering, they came across a twelve-year-old boy sitting in a café, reading.

Greed saw him first. "It's Pride! Fuck, you were right, he _is_ still alive!"

Gluttony sniffed: "He ate me..."

Everyone stared, except for Greed, who just shuddered at the memory.

With all six of them being scared of their older brother Pride, they didn't dare to approach the pre-teen. Finally, Lust worked up the courage and went up to him.

*Selim's POV*

"Excuse me? Is this seat taken?"

I looked up from my book to see a tall and black-haired woman standing in front of me. She was wearing a very...uh, revealing dress, but she had a nice smile, so I invited her to sit down. We had some small-talk about the weather, the political situation and stuff like that.

It was fun actually, I never get to talk to anyone, because there are always guards around me. It's very lonely. Today I had managed to sneak away, thanks to Pride's shadow control, but those opportunities are rare. Needless to say, I have only a few friends. Partly because I'm Selim Bradley, who's supposed to be dead, but mainly because I'm a homunculus and everyone who knows is afraid of me. It also doesn't help that the homunculus I share my body with is creepy and haughty as hell.

And here comes this nice lady and talks to me and treats me like a normal child. It was a first.

After half an hour of talking, she asked me: "Do you know who you are?"

I blinked and got suspicious – why would she ask me something like that?

"That's an odd question. I'm Selim Bradley. Who else would I be?"

The woman hesitated for a second, before she said: "Selim? That's a pretty name. And do you know who I am?"

Suddenly, the creepy voice in my head spoke up: _I know who she is. Let me out, just for a second. I need to make sure that what I see is real._

I complied and let Pride out, just for a second. But it was enough. Suddenly I could see some of his memories flicker through the maelstrom of souls and I knew who the woman in front of me was.

"...Lust?"


	3. Give them a chance!

**Chapter one: Give them a chance!**

*Selim's POV*

The Elric brothers and their father Van Hohenheim sat in front of me expectantly.

"Thank you three for coming", I said relieved.

Edward Elric nodded. "Sure. Any reason why you told us to come as quickly as possible?"

I smiled in amusement. "Mr. Elric, I wouldn't have called you here without a reason."

He blushed in embarrassment: "Oh...yeah, fair 'nough."

The younger Elric burst into giggles and it was obvious that Hohenheim struggled hard not to.

These three are my only friends from the outside world. My mother introduced me to them, when I was small and they became my alchemy teachers. When Pride woke up inside me, they helped me to cope with it (and _him_ ). Now I know of the terrible things that happened, that Pride did under my name and I don't want to go back to that. I just want to be Selim Bradley. Pride's voice is always nagging in my head and it drives me insane sometimes, but they help me the best they can. Sometimes, when I get really angry, Pride slips out, but thankfully, mother can handle us both.

Mr. Elric glared at the other two before turning back to me: "So, what's the deal? You said on the phone that it was urgent."

I sighed: "Yeah, we have a problem. A big one. Someone attempted a human transmutation, but the alchemist who did it, died in the process. The Fuhrer wanted to take matters into his own hand, but then I stumbled upon something and asked him to pass the responsibility over to me. Listen, the transmutation didn't fail completely – something actually came out of the gate."

"What is it?", Hohenheim spoke up, "It must be a big problem, if you asked us to come here."

I scratched my head. "I would like you to keep this for yourselves, this information is strictly confidential. Uh, you see...the other homunculi are back. Minus Father."

"What?!", Mr. Elric screeched and we all winced at the noise.

Alphonse's eyes widened in horror. "Oh my god, we must stop them or everyone will die."

"How come the Military doesn't know?", Hohenheim wanted to know.

I continued: "I have told them that the alchemist was consumed by the gate for his arrogance (which in itself wasn't a lie) and that nothing else happened."

Mr. Elric was about to start yelling again, when his little brother put a hand on his shoulder.

"So, why do you keep this a secret?", the younger one asked me, "These six homunculi are dangerous. They kill people, just because they can or regard them as useless."

 _That's true_ , Pride admitted in my head.

I sighed sadly: "Yes, I know. I share a conscience with Pride after all. I know of all the terrible things they did – that I did. But most of it happened because of their father's orders (at least that's what Pride tells me). Now that he is gone, they are completely lost. They don't know what to do. So I was thinking...could you provide them some guidance?"

"No way!" The older Elric shouted, making me shrink, "they deserve to-"

"Be quiet!", I shushed him, "There are guards outside. I'm under supervision, remember?"

Hohenheim sighed: "I'm sorry, but I agree with Edward. These six have committed unspeakable crimes. They must be brought to justice for that, before they can harm any more people."

"I know. As I already said, I'm aware of what happened, thanks to that irritating voice in my head."

 _Who are you calling irritating, you brat! I swear, if you weren't my host-_ , Pride cried in outrage, but I shut him out and continued: "But hear me out. I think that under the right guidance they could become better persons – I know you don't think of them as such, but please give it a try. You gave me a second chance at living, right, Mr. Elric?", I turned to Edward hopefully.

Said man scratched his head. "That's true."

"And I decided not to become Pride again. For a year, I have been able to hear his voice, but I'm never going to sink to his level and look down on other humans – despite what Pride says about me being a homunculus, I see myself as human. However, the other six sins are Pride's siblings and therefore, they're mine as well. I don't know why, because I hardly know them, but for some reason I care about them. And so does Pride, even though he's too proud to admit it."

 _That's not true! You foolish child! I don't care about anyone but myself!_

I grinned. "He's denying it."

Hohenheim chuckled: "You have fun teasing him, don't you?"

I grinned wider: "You bet I do, Mr. Hohenheim. He claims that he has no anger, but he always gets so riled up when I remind him of his own shortcomings!"

Hohenheim's face became more serious. "Just watch out that he doesn't take you over. Pride used to be the most powerful of the homunculi. He is cruel, deceptive and dangerous."

"I know. Sometimes, when I'm really mad, his shadows break through and I speak with his voice. Thankfully, my mama does her best not to let that happen. And Pride has a soft spot for her. She is just as much mother to him as to me."

"I remember", Alphonse mused, "That's what he told me, when we were locked inside dad's dome. He said that he'd never had a mother before and that he found it very interesting how much she cared for him."

"Did he", Hohenheim asked, sounding intrigued. "He always acted like humans disgusted him."

"They do", I confirmed, "But mama is the exception. And Edward too, just a little bit."

Edward looked stunned. "I am? I didn't expect him to be grateful or something."

I grinned again: "He pretends not to be. But he can't fool me as well as he thin-OH SHUT UP, PRIDE! I'm sorry", I apologised, when the other three jumped. "Sometimes he just really ticks me off. Anyway, you gave me and Pride another chance and both of us intend to take that chance. Will you give the other homunculi a second chance too? Please?"

Hohenheim and his sons exchanged a glance, before Alphonse asked: "Uhm, could we have a few minutes to discuss this?"

I nodded. "Sure. I'll be in the garden." I went outside and anxiously awaited their answer.

 _Do you think they'll say yes?_ , I asked the voice in my head.

 _I'm confident they will_ , Pride answered, _They're sickeningly merciful._

It didn't sound as scornful as he probably had intended for it to.

*Edward's POV*

As soon as Selim was gone, I spoke up: "There is no way we can keep an eye on them! Okay, we know them better than anyone else, but we just have no time for that! At least I don't. I have wife and children and Winry is sick! I have to take care of her and the kids, I can't babysit the homunculi too! Al just got back from Xing and he's going to marry Mei Chang in a few months..."

"It's alright", Al said, "I will explain it to Mei. She will understand that this is more important right now. Winry's condition is a problem though- uh dad, why are you crying?"

Bastard wiped his stupid face and turned to me: "I'm sorry. I wish I could help your wife, but..."

"Don't apologise, you bastard!", I growled – he apologises for the biggest bullshit, seriously! "It's not your fault this time! And if you say that again, I will kick you in the face with my automail leg! And Winry will recover...she must. She simply must..."

Just a few months ago, she had suddenly not been feeling well. When I consulted a doctor with her, she was diagnosed with cancer. I...I don't want to lose her like I lost my mum...

Al hugged me from behind. "Hey. We will help you both to deal with the situation. And with the homunculi too."

"We will", Hohenheim confirmed. "But you're right, Edward, we won't be able to do it on our own. You can no longer do alchemy and I have exhausted my stone's energy on Promised Day. I'm down to one life. Alphonse and Mei are the only ones who can fight them, should there be need."

"So what do we do?", Al asked. "I agree with Selim."

 _Al, you're too good for this sinful world. Sinful...haha. Bad pun._

"They should get a second chance, but we can't deal with them on our own. Perhaps we should ask Mustang..."

"Are you nuts?", I hissed, "He burned Lust and Envy to a fucking crisp and nearly squished Envy to death. When he sees them, he'll go nuts again and I bet these two haven't forgot their deaths either! There is no way these three will last one minute together without going at each other's throats!"

Al frowned: "Good point. But who else could..."

"I have an idea", Hohenheim cried suddenly and stood up. "I know some people who might help us. Some old friends who owe me a favour. If I can track them down, our problems should be solved."

"Great", I commented sarcastically, "And who are these 'old friends' of yours?"

The bastard smiled enigmatically. "You will find out, when you meet them."

*Selim's POV*

I immediately jumped up, when the Elric trio came outside. "And?", I asked hopefully.

Edward sighed: "Fine. We'll do it."

I felt my face brighten up. "Really?"

"Yes", Hohenheim answered, "We just need to consult some of my old friends first."

"Sure!", I agreed, but then...

 _Hohenheim? Old friends? I don't trust this man nor these old friends, whoever they may be!_

"Pride has concerns", I informed them, "He doesn't trust you or your friends."

Hohenheim raised his arms calmly. "Oh, he has nothing to fear from me or them. Unless he acts up, that is. But I trust that he will be sensible enough not to. Besides, he already knows them."

 _Wow, that makes me feel sooo much more at ease_!, Pride commented sarcastically.

"Can you introduce them to me?"

"You're the vessel for Pride, so you will meet them anyway. And I think they'll be happy to meet you."

That sounded promising, so I smiled. "Okay."

"And don't worry, they're very nice people. They won't be mean to you or Pride."

"Okay. Thank you for your time. You can go."

*Edward's POV*

As usual we left in silence, until Al tried to break the awkwardness. "So, dad", he said smiling, "Who are these old friends of yours? I'm curious."

"Yeah, me too", I said crossly. I wasn't lying, I really was curious.

"Don't worry, you're about to find out. Last time I checked, one of them lives here in Central and they would know where the others are."

"How many of these 'old friends' do you even have, bastard?"

He shrugged: "Just seven of them. Let's hurry, the one I was talking about is a doctor and I would like to be there, before his surgery closes. I just hope it's still there."

"A doctor?", Al asked, intrigued. "Then he must be very nice."

 _Sure, like Dr. Knox_ , I thought drily.

Hohenheim chuckled: "He is exceptionally kind. I'm sure you will get along just fine."

"Uh-huh, sure", I grumbled.

"There we are", the old man suddenly said and stopped in front of a white, two-story house that had a doctor's symbol hanging next to the front door.

Hohenheim rang the bell.

Someone shuffled inside, approaching the door with quick food steps.

"Who is there?", a gentle voice that couldn't be classified as male or female asked.

Hohenheim answered: "A friend from the past. And I brought my sons with me."

The door was practically torn open, effectively startling me and Al, before a pale, nimble hand pulled us inside.


	4. This strange doctor

**Chapter two: This strange doctor...**

The light was relatively dim and looking around, I noticed that the room was tidy and meticulously clean, like a surgery was supposed to be. But it also was friendly and homely.

Hohenheim turned to the person who had opened the door. "I'm glad your surgery is still here. I haven't been here in decades, I feared that you have already moved somewhere else."

"Oh, it's not time yet. I can't bring myself to leave just yet, so I took another identity. You're lucky that you came now though, I just returned from Ishval a week ago. So much to do! But the happy smiles on the people's faces as I helped them were so worth it."

I looked closer at the person who was standing in front of us. Was it a man or a woman? It was hard to say. The effeminate face, the long hair and the fragile frame were definitely a woman's. But the narrow hip and flat chest pointed towards a male. Even though a lot of girls had flat chests.

Somehow that reminded me of someone. Envy. They reminded me of Envy.

I scowled – how dare that shapeshifting gender-confused palmtree come to my mind?!

There were many differences though. Unlike Envy, this person was gold blond, had freckles on their face, but most importantly, a warm smile and kind yellow eyes. The voice was more pleasant too, melodic, warm and inviting. Everything radiated kindness, Envy's polar opposite.

The person obviously noticed they were being examined. They turned to Al and me and the smile broadened. "So these are your sons? Why, you didn't even tell us that you had a family, you secretive jerk! Let me look at you, boys!"

Boys?! I'm a family man and Al will get married soon!

"What's your name?", the doctor asked curiously.

"My name is Alphonse", Al chimed.

I grumbled: "Name's Edward. Edward _Elric_."

The freckled blonde raised an eyebrow. "Elric?" They turned to Hohenheim. "That's their mother's name, isn't it? They look so much like you!"

"No we don't!", I blew up. I _don't_ look like him! Al covered my mouth, before I could start ranting.

"I'm sorry", he apologised, "Brother doesn't like dad that much. He had to leave when we were children and mum died shortly after."

"Oh, I see", the doctor replied, "It's okay. I understand. Difficult relationship. My siblings and I don't like our father either."

 _Huh? He and his siblings too?_

"What happened?", I asked curiously.

"Oh, he just tried to kill us right after being born, because he assumed we were mistakes. Listen, Edward Elric. Your father may not always have been there for you, but he loves you. Don't ever forget that, okay?"

I felt a lump in my throat, but nodded. It was true, at least the bastard had never wanted to kill us.

The doctor smiled. "But enough of that depressing stuff! Your timing is perfect, Hohenheim! All seven of us are here, the others have come to celebrate mine and Michelle's return from Ishval! Why don't you three come upstairs with me, they will be overjoyed to meet you!"

He wanted to go upstairs, but I grabbed his arm. "Wait! I have so many questions and I want them answered now!", I demanded.

The other blond chuckled. "Jeez, you're an impatient one, aren't you? Okay, go ahead and ask!"

I glared: "Okay, first off, just how old are you? Are you even human? What are you? What is your gender and why do you know Hohenheim so well?!"

The androgynous blond sighed: "Oh dear, you've cornered me here! But fine, take a seat and I'll explain it to you. I guess that, since you're Hohenheim's son, I can trust you."

 _Stupid Hohenheim...am I not trustworthy otherwise?!_

But I sat down and the doctor sat on the other side on the table.

"Alright, my official name is Dr. Ramiel Gratian Angel. But I think you have already guessed that this isn't my real name."

"Figured", I remarked sarcastically.

Dr. Angel frowned: "No need to be so hostile. I didn't do anything to you, nor do I plan to. I'm incapable of seriously harming people. And about your question, if I'm human..."

He shed off his coat and gloves, revealing a white button-up shirt, pants and boots of the same colour. But what startled me were the nodes on his arms and hands. I had seen them before, on the homunculi. But Dr. Angel's nodes were blue. Then he removed his shirt a little to reveal a blue ouroboros on his chest, right above the heart.

"Y-you're a homunculus?!", Al and I gasped at once.

"Yes", the doctor said calmly, "Let me introduce myself properly. My name is Kindness the Gracious. I'm one of the Seven Heavenly Virtues."

So, here we have our first OC! And more are yet to coooome! *snicker*


	5. More homunculi!

**Chapter three: More homunculi?!**

The homunculus named Kindness laughed softly. "What's with these faces? Did you think that the Seven Deadly Sins are the only homunculi out there?"

Al and I could only nod.

Kindness continued: "No, they're not. In fact, they're our younger siblings."

"What?!", I whisper-screamed. "That bearded arsehole created you?! How? Why?"

The Virtue sighed: "He created us the same way he created our little siblings. As for why, he didn't mean to. He tried to purge himself of his seven desires twice, but the first time something went wrong and that's how we came to be. As soon as he realised what he had done, he decided to kill Humility, Charity and me and absorb the other four Virtues."

"But why did he want to kill you three specifically?", Al asked.

"In his eyes we were weaknesses. Weaknesses that were in the way of his selfish goals. So he wanted us out of the way." For the first time, Kindness stopped smiling. "Lucky for us, Charity found out what he was planning, no one is more perceptive than she. So she had Patience knock him out and while he slept, we got out of there as fast as we could, while we still could. Needless to say, we didn't want to die immediately after being born. We've been living undercover ever since. First we moved to Xing and that's where we met your father. He helped us learn to control and improve our powers and how to live as a human. We offered to help him against Father, but he refused. Didn't you, Hohenheim?"

"Yes", the bastard confirmed.

"But why?", I hissed, "They would have been a huge help, you know?!"

"No they wouldn't", Hohenheim contradicted, "As vindictive as they were towards the Dwarf in the Flask, they've been so distant to him, that they know little that could have been of use in a fight. No offence, Kindness", he added, when the blond homunculus raised a brow.

"None taken", Kindness gave in graciously, "But now that you know, why don't you come upstairs with me and meet the other Virtues? They will be happy to see you, Hohenheim and eager to meet your sons! I'm sure Charity is finished with dinner by now, you can eat with us. She always cooks too much anyway. And while you're at it, tell us what's been going on during all this time. We're eager to hear the news."

Kindness stood up and went upstairs, Hohenheim followed and Al and I, still overwhelmed by what we had just learned, trailed after them.

"Hey, can I ask you something?", I called after Kindness.

They turned around and smiled. "Of course you can."

"Are you a boy or a girl?"

The homunculus giggled: "Well, when I'm Dr. Angel I'm obviously a man, but I'm actually genderless. However in private, I'd rather prefer if you refer to me as a female."

Huh. Okay. So I'd call Kindness a 'she' from now on.

 **So, as Kindness herself said, she is actually genderless. However, since her opposite sin Envy (who's also genderless) is usually referred to as a 'he', I decided that Kindness, being his polar opposite, should be called a 'she'. She's a shapeshifter btw, that's why she can have a male alias.**


	6. Meet the Virtues

**Chapter four: Meet the Virtues!**

Arriving in the kitchen, we found that Kindness hadn't been kidding.

Four people were eagerly hurrying around the room, while two others were supervising the whole process.

"Hey guys!", Kindness cried out, "Look who's come to visit!"

Everyone instantly looked over and when they saw Hohenheim, six faces immediately brightened up and he was engulfed in happy chatted and several pairs of arms.

"Hohenheim, you old geezer!"

"We haven't heard of you in ages!"

"How've you been?"

"So good to see you!"

"Why are they all so happy to see the bastard", I muttered. A quiet chuckle next to me startled me and tore me from my thoughts. Looking to my right, I saw an almost white-haired boy in white shirt and sweat pants who had a calm and oddly content smile on his face.

"Why would we be angry at him?", the boy chuckled. "We have no reason to. You two are his sons, aren't you? You must be. You have his hair and his eyes."

Al took over, before I could throw a fit. "Yes, I'm Alphonse Elric and this is my big brother Edward."

"Big brother?", the boy smiled in amusement. "How come he is shorter than you?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT A GRAIN OF RICE WOULD BE A MOUNTAIN TO HIM?!"

Everyone was startled at my outburst, only Al facepalmed and the little boy remained unfazed.

"Oh dear. Patience isn't your strong suit, is it?", the child sighed.

"I'm plenty patient!", I hissed. Hey, don't roll your eyes at me, Al!

I huffed. "Who are you anyway, you brat?"

The boy, who looked about Selim's age, smiled amusedly. "It's a bit rich to call someone who is centuries older than you a brat, don't you think? I am Patience the Merciful. It's nice to meet you too, Edward and Alphonse Elric. But please tone it down. This is a peaceful household and while I can handle it, Humility really doesn't appreciate outbursts of anger, especially not here in Kindness's flat and surgery."

"...Sorry."

Meanwhile the other Virtues had released Hohenheim from their enthusiastic greeting and now focussed on us.

"Sooo", drawled a beautiful young woman with golden curls in a white wrap dress, "You found some time and someone to have sons? Geez, why didn't you tell us you had a family?! Not cool, man! Anyway, hello boys! Since you're with that old bastard here, I assume you already know that we're homunculi?"

 _I think I'm going to like her, if she calls him bastard!_

Al nodded and I answered: "Yeah, Kindness just told us. He let something slip and I noticed and asked him about it."

The woman laughed: "Perceptive one, aren't you? Hi, I'm Charity the Generous. Nice to meet ya!"

She reminded me of an old friend – oddly enough, her opposite Sin Greed. "Edward Elric."

We shook hands. Like all homunculi she had cold hands, but a hearty grip and a warm smile. She turned to Al: "And you're his brother, right? Who is the older one?"

"He is", Al smiled, pointing to me.

"Damn right, I am", I muttered.

Al ignored it. "Hello, Charity. I'm Alphonse, but you can call me Al."

Charity grinned. "Cool. I think I will! How old are you two?"

"Twenty-eight", I said.

"Twenty-seven", said Al.

Charity chuckled: "Lucky you. I'm over four hundred years old! And I'm only the third of the Virtues! Humility and Chastity are older than I!"

"Come on, it's not that bad!", a short-haired blonde in a white surtout scoffed, before shaking hands with us. "Chastity the Pure", she said. And that was it. She looked like the very model of self-control but her eyes were kind and mischievous in a certain way.

The next one who approached us was a tall, thin lady. Everything about her screamed equilibrium and balance, her voice was even when she spoke. "I'm Temperance the Moderate", she introduced herself. I wonder if there is one ounce of fire in her.

A ginger-haired, freckled little girl in a white camisole and medium long skirt came next. "Hi, I'm Diligence the Zealous. I do all the dirty work the other Virtues can't do."

"Like what?", Al asked curiously.

The red-head counted it on her fingers: "Oh, you know – stuff that requires great physical strength, being the messenger, putting out people who try to harm us, oh, and since the Ishvalan civil war I also steal red stones from the military. Idiots, don't even notice a red-haired girl sneaking into their quarters and stealing their top secret confiscated goods!"

"You do what?!" To say I was disturbed would be an understatement.

Diligence rolled her eyes: "Oh suck it up, kid. We may be the Virtues, but we're still homunculi and need to maintain our Philosopher's Stones. We try to stay out of trouble as much as possible but since we deal with the lower end of society, it's inevitable. Just last week, Kindness got shot twelve times in the chest and I was about to beat the jerk to a pulp, when Kindness got up like nothing had happened and stopped me. You should have seen that bastard's face, when he ran for it! But enough of me! Your turn, sis!"

The person in question stepped forward: "I'm Humility the Modest and it's very nice to meet you. I hope you're as humble as your father is, aren't you?"

Humility was odd. Ghostly pale, her colourless hair hung over her eyes, effectively shielding them from everyone's view. Her mouth was curled in a small smile, knowing but not smug. She wore a simple white robe that went down to her ankles, but the sleeves were too long. Her voice was meek and quiet, yet radiated a calm authority that was not to be tempered with. She didn't need to raise her voice, when she talked, everyone listened to her. There was something amiable about her, something cute and inviting.

I thought about Pride and could tell why Humility was his opposite virtue. She too had an air of power around her, but nothing of his mind-bogglingly arrogant and disdainful attitude.

I was seeing her for the first time, but I could already tell that this homunculus didn't care about what she was and didn't consider herself superior or more advanced.

In fact, none of her siblings seemed to have a superiority complex either.

My eyes met Al's and we both knew that we would like the Seven Heavenly Virtues just fine.

 **And we get to meet Kindness's siblings! Hooray!**

 **If you're interested about my design for them, go here: blog/melodiouswhite**


	7. We will help you gladly

**Chapter five: We will help you gladly.**

Homunculi don't need to eat. Therefore it was actually unnecessary for Charity or Diligence to cook. But it turned out that the Virtues enjoyed human food from time to time. Like Kindness had said, Charity had cooked too much, mostly because she had the habit of giving the leftovers to random poor people who skulked around the area. But this way, there was enough food for their three guests. As usual, I had a huge appetite and stuffed myself, but when I saw Temperance's disgusted face, I contained myself more. But she didn't chew the bastard out – what did he do for them to get away with that shit?

Al tried a little bit from everything, savouring every bite, as if he'd just got his body back yesterday.

"The food is delicious", he told Charity, who beamed from ear to ear.

"Thanks! I love cooking and I do what I can. But enough about me! Why don't you tell us a bit about yourselves? Surely you have made a lot of experiences in your life!"

I didn't want to talk about all the mistakes I had made, especially not in front of Humility, who would surely despise me, but Al gave me a look to signal it was okay, so I began to talk.

We spent the whole rest of the day like that, Al and I talking, Hohenheim interjecting something from time to time and the Virtues just sat around us and listened without interrupting. Their faces remained curious and encouraging through the whole story, never once frowning at all the mistakes we have made, not even Humility. In fact, when I told them how I'd got Al's body back, she smiled approvingly, obviously pleased at the lesson in humility that I had learned.

The rest wasn't much to tell, how we had travelled through foreign countries to acquire knowledge we could enlighten Amestrian alchemy with, how I had married Winry and had children with her and that she was currently ill.

Kindness frowned in concern. "But if your wife is sick, why are you here in Central and who takes care of her and the kids, while you're gone?"

"My fiancée is in Resembool", Al explained, "She takes care of Ed's family. As for why we're here, we were called in for urgent business."

"What business?", Diligence asked curiously.

We looked at Hohenheim, motioning for him to take the word.

The old man cleared his throat. "That is why we're here."

"Oh?", Humility asked. "How come? It doesn't involve Father, does it? And speaking of him-" She grabbed Hohenheim's ears and pulled at them painfully (I started to snicker). "Why the hell did you not inform us that he was intending to kill everyone in Amestris, huh? Shame on you!"

"Owowow, I'm sorry, let go! Don't worry, the Dwarf in the Flask is dead for good. See, six of the Seven Deadly Sins died, but some idiot brought them back. Selim Bradley, the vessel for Pride, asked us to take care of them, because he and Pride don't want them to die again. We agreed to give them another chance, but we can't do it alone."

"We understand", Kindness agreed, "Edward is no longer an alchemist and has a sick wife and children to take care of, you're down to your last life and Alphonse is about to get married to that princess from Xing, who knows alcahestry. You want us to help you take care of them, am I right?"

"Yes", Hohenheim confirmed. "We would be very grateful, if you helped us. Selim, my sons and I hope that with the right guidance they'd become better people."

Humility smiled. "Give us a few moments alone to discuss this."

We left the room, sat down on the stairs and sat in silence.

"Do you think they will help us, dad?", Al asked after what seemed an hour.

Hohenheim chuckled: "If I know them as well as I think I do, they will. Their relationship to their opposite sins isn't as bad as one might think."

Before we could ask him what he meant, the Virtues came out. Humility was smiling: "Our decision is made. We will help you gladly. There are only some matters we have to discuss and organise first."

 **The Virtues start plotting… O_O**


	8. Say what!

**Chapter six: Say what?!**

I had to struggle hard not to explode. "Okay...let me get this straight...you want to move the homunculi into one house to live together with you, including Selim."

Patience nodded. "Yes."

I took a deep breath and went on: "And you want the three of us to move in with the fourteen of you."

He nodded again. "Yes."

My voice became shakier with every sentence. "With our families. Mei Chang. My sick wife and my children, who just grew out of being toddlers. With the seven of you."

"Yes."

I was _this_ close from snapping. "With a homicidal palm tree, a bitch with extendable claws, a heartless ex-dictator, a failed Gate of Truth, a brainless lazy-bum, a greedy bastard who happens to be our only friend in this group and, last but not least, a twelve-year-old who shares his body with a homunculus so monstrous that even his own siblings are scared of him."

I could see everyone brace themselves, before Patience again said: "Yes."

That was too much for me. "ARE YOU CRAZY?! AND DON'T YOU DARE SAY 'YES'!"

Patience raised an eyebrow: "That's not what I was going to say..."

"Shut up! There is no way I'll put Winry and the kids into that much danger! No fucking way!"

"And leaving them alone, where you can't take care of them, isn't dangerous?"

I looked at the brat in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"We know that you're worried about your family and you have all reason to. But we know what we're doing. Putting Mrs. Elric and your children into one house with the Seven Deadly Sins together may be dangerous, but at least it will make it easier to keep an eye on you all. If something happens, you and we will be able to interfere immediately. Imagine if your family was left alone somewhere and one of the Sins somehow managed to get away. Wouldn't your wife and children be the perfect target then? If we're all in the same house, we can protect them better."

The child homunculus was right, I knew it. But I didn't want to give up.

"And what about Selim? What are we going to tell his mother?"

Diligence grinned: "Oh, don't worry about it. You see, while you were waiting outside, we called up Mrs. Bradley and she agreed to let us take care of Selim under a few conditions. Also, we're going to meet up with our counterparts at Selim's tomorrow to explain our intentions and make them cooperate with us. Humility spoke to Selim on the phone and he agreed to our plan. The meeting will be at the Bradley Mansion at 10 am, so I expect you to arrive punctually fifteen minutes earlier. I don't tolerate slackers."

Al smiled. "Sure, we'll be there."

Diligence grinned wider: "Good! Oh, and while I'm at it, your family's on their way to the house we're going to live in right now, they have already been informed."

My jaw dropped onto the floor. "Say what?!"

Then I passed out. Luckily Al was there to catch my soul from escaping.

 **Me: And this is the story of how Edward Elric died a sudden and tragic death. Pfff, nah, just kidding! The torture has just begun!**

 **Ed: Come on! What did I do to you to deserve this?!**

 **Me: Nothing, I'm just an evil, sadistic, little bitch who likes to make the characters in her stories suffer in the worst possible ways!**

 **Ed: *passes out again***

 **Al: I got your soul, brother!**


	9. One hell of a reunion

**Chapter seven: One hell of a reunion**

True to our word, the Virtues, Hohenheim, Al and I arrived at the mansion fifteen minutes before 10 am. Mrs Bradley welcomed us heartily and lead us to the dining room where she had prepared seventeen chairs at the table and invited us to take a seat. For a few minutes we sat in awkward silence, then the old man broke it by asking: "So, since we're going to be a lot of people, I assume that we will be staying at your house, Charity?"

 _Figures, right? As the incarnation of selflessness, she should be hospitable._

Charity shook her head: "Sorry, but no. I turned my house into an orphanage after I returned from Ishval, so it's booked out. Chastity owns a big mansion and a lot of land. We'll be staying there."

 _Oh. Yeah, that makes sense._ I was still a little disappointed though.

Hohenheim gave the Pure one a questioning look. Chastity shrugged: "I needed room for all my books and notes. You know, if there's something I can't contain, it's my love for knowledge."

 _Hey, she's just like us!_ , I thought. I think I'll get along with her.

"Yeah", Temperance's sarcastic voice tore me from my thoughts. "Too bad the whole manor has only one bathroom. One. Freaking. Bathroom!"

 _What?!_

Chastity snapped defensively: "Give my a break! Until now I had this house for myself! I didn't need more than one bathroom!"

They were about to get angry and I saw Kindness stand up, presumably to interfere, when suddenly loud noise came from the room to the left, startling us all.

Al stood up to check what was going on, when the door to the room opened and Selim Bradley's head peeked out.

"I'm so sorry", Selim apologised, looking slightly dishevelled. "Greed started a fight with Envy and now they're going at each other like there's no tomorrow. Wrath and Lust can hardly keep them apart and Sloth and Gluttony are just standing there like idiots, doing nothing. We'll be there soon, just give me a minute."

I sighed. Yup, that sounded just like something these guys would do!

He closed the door and then a voice rang through the door that sounded suspiciously like Pride's: "Enough. Pull yourselves together, you morons. Our older siblings the Virtues are here and I will not have you embarrass us in front of them. Is that clear?"

There was some muttering, before Selim came out, followed by his fellow homunculi. "I had to let Pride out. He is the only one who can keep them in check", the boy explained, ignoring the glares he got from the other sins.

That was no wonder, Pride was so scary that even Greed was scared of him.

And speaking of Greed: "Holy shit! What's up guys! Haven't seen you in ages!"

He took me into a headlock and ruffled my hair, while I tried to free myself from Greed's grasp. "Ugh! Yeah, yeah, glad to see you too, now...let go...can't breathe..."

"You're going to suffocate him, arsehole", a high, raspy voice said coolly. Looking up, I saw Envy in all his gender-confused, palmtree-ish glory.

Luckily his statement made Greed finally let me go and he ran up to Charity to greet her.

"Charity! What's up you generous bitch!"

"Greed! Long time no see you avaricious motherfucker!"

They fist-bumped, before engaging in a bear hug. Uh, I guess that's...one way to greet your opposite Sin or Virtue? What were they to each other anyway?

Chastity sweatdropped. "Wow, these two are so mature", she remarked sarcastically, before turning to her opposite sin. "Hi, Lust. Haven't seen you in a while. How's it been going?"

Lust chuckled: "I'm fine. And you? Still sticking your nose into your books?"

Chastity grinned: "You know me! And you, still twisting people's heads for your own advantage?"

"Of course."

Wow. Wouldn't have pinned these two to hold a decent conversation.

Meanwhile Patience and Wrath were having an icebreaker talk, since they were meeting each other for the first time. Diligence sat on top of a sleeping Sloth, plotting on how to wake him up.

Temperance sat on top of Gluttony whom she had knocked out cold, after he had attempted to eat Hohenheim and Selim. Then Selim went to Humility and they talked about Pride.

I couldn't help but watch in fascination as the Sins and Virtues, instead of fighting each other, talked peacefully and civilly.

But then there was the interaction between Envy and Kindness. Envy was standing in front of Kindness and glaring down at the smiling blond. Kindness said nothing, she stood up and embraced the palmtree. I saw Envy tense up, but the Virtue whispered something in his ear that I couldn't hear, and he relaxed, muttering something among the lines of: "I hate you."

Kindness just laughed quietly and patted his back. "That's fine with me, my dear opposite."

Wow...she really is Kindness, if she can embrace Envy and doesn't mind the hatred.

I was impressed. No. Amazed is the right word.

Al was fascinated. "Look at how well they all get along. Isn't that amazing?"

The old man chuckled: "Just wait until they all live together. Then things won't be so harmonious anymore."

No shit, you old bastard. Like that wasn't totally obvious!

I decided to leave them and talk to Envy and Kindness.

"Hey Envy!"

He whirled around, shifting his arm into a blade, recognised me and blinked. "Pipsqueak...?"

That word didn't rile up as much as it used to, mostly because I'm much taller than back then.

So I grinned down at the homunculus, who was now a few inches shorter than me: "Sorry, Envy! I'm no longer a pipsqueak! In fact, look who's the taller one now!"

His shocked face was priceless.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Al, Hohenheim and Humility grin at the scene.

"This is one hell of a reunion, isn't it?", the white-haired female homunculus snickered. Al and Hohenheim nodded, equally amused. And in my mind, I did the same.

 **And here it comes! The torture can begin, hahahahaha! Spoiler alert, though - there will be no EnvyxOC-shipping here, just to clear that up.**


	10. Moving in

**Chapter eight: Moving in**

Persuading the Seven Sins to cooperate wasn't easy, but we had expected no less.

Envy had thrown a hissy fit at the prospect of living together with...several people, actually.

Pride, who got a chance to speak, wasn't happy that he was to live together with Al and Hohenheim, because grudges.

Greed didn't want to be in the same house as Envy and Wrath, same reason.

Lust insisted on having privacy, because obviously.

Gluttony wanted to eat, but to his bewilderment, Temperance set him on a diet. The other Sins tried not to snicker, when the moderate Virtue put a muzzle on Gluttony's face (I snickered anyway).

Wrath had a Greed problem, because reasons, and insisted that his wife come with them (a request he and Pride agreed upon).

Sloth was asleep, so no one cared.

To my surprise, neither Pride nor Envy had objections against _me_. In fact, I caught Envy staring at me intensely. When he noticed that I had caught him, he looked away in what seemed like embarrassment.

Looking at Pride, the childlike homunculus looked like he was deep in thought. After a few minutes, our eyes met and the boy gave me a curt nod, before turning back to his conversation with Wrath and Humility.

The afternoon of the same day found us, Hohenheim, Mrs. Bradley and the fourteen homunculi carrying whatever belongings we had (Pride and Wrath were the only ones who owned some clothes, thanks to Mrs. Bradley) into Chastity's house.

Lust looked up at the huge manor and grinned at her opposite Virtue. "That sure is a big house. Are you compensating for something, Chastity?"

If Chastity's looks could kill, like, whoa! She scowled: "Haha, very funny, Lust. Come on, everyone. I don't want to stand here in the garden all day."

While Charity took it upon herself to get Winry, the kids, Mei and Mrs. Bradley to their respective rooms, Chastity lead the rest of us into the living room.

"Alright, here's the deal", Chastity spoke. "The Seven Deadly Sins are going to live on the second floor of my house. Each of you will have a room for yourselves, they already have your name signs, because I will not have you fight over who gets which room. You have a bed, two tables, chairs and lamps in your rooms. You can shape the rest of the room as you like, except for moving the walls. You can paint them, hang up pictures, whatever, but touch the timbers that keep the ceiling in place and I will nail you to the wall. Do I make myself clear?"

There was some muttering, before the Sins nodded collectively.

The white-clad Virtue continued: "The first floor is for us Virtues – you guys already know the drill, you've been here often enough."

The other Virtues nodded.

Chastity turned to us: "The humans plus Hohenheim will stay on the ground floor. Just like the sins, you can shape your rooms as you want, but don't touch the timbers or try to reshape the room altogether. This house costed me a fortune and I like it the way it is. My library is open to you all, just let me know if you want to borrow any books. As for the kitchen, the garden, the living room and the bathroom, they belong to everyone until Diligence is finished with the other two bathrooms. Then each group will have their own bath. Until then, I'm afraid you'll have to queue up."

Everyone groaned, not looking forward to have to stand in line with people they couldn't stand.

"Alrighty. That said, your turn, Humility!"

The white-haired homunculus practically floated forward. "Thank you, Chastity. Alright, kids", she turned to the Sins: "Selim and us decided that you should have a second chance at living, that is the reason why we're taking you in. However, being who you are, we're not gullible enough to trust you seven that easily. And that is why you will be living here under strict conditions."

I almost snorted, when she called them kids – I mean, I knew the Virtues were older, but what?!

Greed groaned: "Oh come on! You're kidding! You're kidding, right? Come on, Ghost Girl!"

Humility rolled her eyes: "I tired of that nick 430 years ago and no, I'm not kidding. You will be treated like you're on parole, until we can safely say that you're no longer a threat to humans."

Pride sighed: "And the conditions, my disgustingly humble opposite, are?"

The white-haired girl shrugged: "First off, your abilities will all be extremely limited."

"WHAT?!" five of the seven sins yelled in indignation.

"Yes. Remember how Patience touched several points on your bodies on the way here? Well, he was blocking your energy flows. Now", Humility said with a meek smile, "Pride, the reach of your shadow arms – because your arms will be the only thing you can use – is limited to two meters. Also you will only be able to use them inside this house. The reason is that you won't be allowed to leave it without me by your side and I will reflect your abilities at all times."

"I hate you", Pride hissed and let his shadows out, but Humility stood three meter away – too far.

She shrugged. "I can live with that. Wrath, you have lost your Ultimate Eye, but since you know how to behave yourself, you're allowed to leave the house whenever you want. Also, all of your weapons have been confiscated and Patience will keep an eye on you."

King Bradley fake-smiled: "Why, thank you, Miss."

"Lust, the white gloves Diligence gave you on the train prevent you from extending your fingers."

Lust sighed: "Fine. But I still can move around freely, right?"

Humility nodded: "You can. Although, for the time being, Chastity will accompany you every time you leave the house. Just to be safe."

"Fair enough." Lust took it better than I expected. But I guess as long as Mustang wasn't here...

Humility turned to Temperance: "Can you take care of Gluttony please?"

The silver blonde nodded. "Sure. Come along, Gluttony." Then she led him upstairs.

Next was Greed: "You also can move around freely, since out of you seven, you're best with humans. Just...don't be so much of an ass. No hurting people with your Ultimate Shield. Also you're obliged to spend at least four hours a day with Charity. Perhaps she can teach you manners."

"I have plenty manners!", the avaricious homunculus snarled.

Envy scoffed: "Oh really? That's a new one!"

"Oh shut your worthless trap, ugly."

Ouch. Three...two...one...

Humility used her own shadows in order to prevent Envy from ripping Greed into pieces.

"See, that's what I meant. No manners at all. Envy, calm down. And you Greed, apologise. What you said was most uncalled for."

I stared at her incredulously: did she really expect him to-?

"No fucking way!", Greed protested.

Humility shrugged. "Fine. Be that way. Diligence, if you may."

The ginger-haired female homunculus lifted Greed with one hand, the sleeping Sloth with the other and carried the two sins up to the second floor, Greed kicking and swearing all the way.

"Just how freakishly strong is this girl?!", I cried incredulously.

Humility explained: "That's her special ability. She's superstrong. And also extremely agile, but that's because she works out. Alright, now that the others are out of the way, let's get to you, Envy."

"Finally", the shapeshifter hissed. "Why am I last anyway?!"

"Because I wanted the others out of the way in case you throw another hissy fit", Humility explained bluntly. "You are by far the biggest troublemaker here. You will still be able to shapeshift, since we have no clue as to how to control that."

"Haha!", Envy yelled in triumph.

"But you're under house arrest, unless we take you out. Also, you're going to get new clothes."

"What?"

 **Humility: Ain't I a stinker? ;P**

 **Me: Humility, isn't it a bit harsh to force Envy to wear clothes?**

 **Humility: No. He needs to learn to dress more modestly.**

 **Envy: I'm gonna kill you, fucking bitch...**

 **Me: *radiates murderous aura of doom* As long as I am the author of this story, there will be no murder, is that clear? And if there is, I will decide when who will get murdered by whom!**

 **Humility & Envy: Y-yes, ma'am! O_O**


	11. First evening in the new home

**Chapter nine: First evening in the new home**

*Narrator's POV*

It was nine pm and Edward had already brought the children to bed. Now he was sitting at Winry's bedside, holding her hand. She was smiling up at him, sadly.

"Ed...you idiot...still refusing to cry after all these years?"

Edward bit his lip. Smiling was hard, so hard when his heart was breaking.

He laughed strainedly: "Someone has to smile, right? For the kids...for us..."

"...You idiot. You know...if you don't cry, I will do it for you."

He stroked her hair. "Don't you always?", he asked tenderly. Then he chuckled: "Isn't that one of the reasons I love you? Why I gave you...half of – no, my whole life? Or was it ninety percent...no, too much. Seventy? Too little. Eighty? Eighty-five? Yeah, that was the number. Eighty-five percent."

Winry's eyes watered: "Stop quoting me, you idiot! How have you not forgotten that anyway?"

"How could I possibly forget, Winry? The day you accepted my proposal? When I asked for half of you life and you offered me all? No wait, it was eighty-five percent. You knocked the equivalent exchange thing right out of the window..." he bit his lip. "Remember how beautiful you looked in that wedding dress? The sun couldn't shine as bright as you. How our children were born? How first our son and then our daughter were placed in our arms and we both bawled our eyes out?" His grip on her hand tightened. "Winry...please...please get better. You have always been there. What will I do without you? Who will throw wrenches at me, when I break my automail leg? How will I raise the children on my own? And now I have seven homunculi to take care of too."

Winry chuckled: "But you won't be on your own. You have Al and Mei. And your father is still here. And those people in white, I bet they'll help you too. Dr. Angel is such a nice guy..."

"Stop talking like you're going to die! You will get better! You must! It won't be the same without you! Our family won't be complete! Our children need a mother..."

"Face it you dummie! I'm not going to get better! I'm going to die!", Winry yelled back angrily, gripping his arms weakly. Her eyes brimmed with tears. "But you know what?", she continued softly, choking back her sobs, "I will have you by my side...you will be there for me until the end. And your children will have their dad. Because you promised to be a better man than your father. Don't ever forget that, okay?"

Edward bit his lip again. "I won't...I promise...please don't cry. You know I hate it when you cry."

Winry smiled through her tears, as he held her close. "Someone has to cry, because you won't."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Kindness stood outside the room and heard every word. She sighed sadly, then returned into the kitchen to help Charity and Alphonse clean the dishes.

"I've seen it many times before, but it's still so heart-wrenching. They both know that she is going to die, but he doesn't want to accept it."

"I know", Al said sadly. "It's just like back then, when mum died. And unlike Ed, our father wasn't there for us. We were alone back then. We just wanted to feel her warmth once more..." he trailed off. Even after almost twenty years, the memory was still painful.

"That's why you tried to transmute her?", Kindness concluded.

Al nodded. "Yes. And now Winry is sick and it reminds him of back then over and over again. He doesn't handle loss well...we both don't. And Winry has been there ever since we can remember. Without her there will be a gaping hole in our lives. And I'm worried about the kids. How will they handle it, when their mum dies. Well...at least they will have us."

*Greed's POV*

I was in my new room, looking out of the window. The moon was ascending in the east. Xing lies there, doesn't it? I could help the small grin on my face, as I wondered if that little brat Ling Yao had achieved his dream of becoming emperor...and if that ninja girl Lan Fan was still following him wherever he went. Heh...maybe I should write to him. Just for kicks...

*Lust's POV*

Gluttony was dozing in my lap and I was patting his bald head, smiling wistfully. This ever-hungry homunculus is so simple...but he missed me...

Did my other siblings miss me? Envy maybe...but the others surely not...

Well. Maybe my siblings don't care about me or each other, but at least two of them have missed me. And that feels good. It feels so good to have been missed.

*Wrath's and Pride's POV*

W: Pride and I were sitting together with my dear in her room, talking and catching up. The rest of mankind can go to hell, but damn, have I missed my wife! I even missed Pride/Selim, just a little bit. Of course I'll never admit that. That would be weak and pathetic. Considering that before Promised Day we were nothing but a fake family, it was all an act. But this woman is special, we're both attached to this gentle creature. Back then, we played house because Father wanted us to, but now he isn't here any-more. Maybe, just maybe, we can get...well, more real.

P: It has been a bit tedious without that child Wrath playing my father, much as I loath to admit it. The charade had almost been funny. But the best thing I got out of it was having a mother – I've never had a mother before, so when Wrath got himself a human wife, I couldn't help but like her. It's nice to have a mother...I'm glad I have one. And since Father is dead, I guess a real father wouldn't be so bad either. Maybe Selim is rubbing off on me.

I proceed to listen to mother's meaningless chatting and by chance, my eyes meet Wrath's. He thinks the same way I do, I can tell. Maybe being a real family won't be so bad. Maybe. Just maybe.

*Sloth's POV*

Zzzzz...

*Envy's POV*

My room was dark, because I didn't want to turn the lights on. I was sitting on the window sill, my hands covering my face, trembling with jealousy and envy.

Fuck them all...

It isn't fair. It just isn't fair! Everyone in this house has a happy reunion of some sort.

Fuck this...everybody has someone who's happy to see them...Pride and Wrath...Lust and Gluttony... hell, even Greed, that fucking bastard! And what about me...?

No one has missed me. Who _would_ miss a monster like me? No one. That's who. All the other homunculi have someone who missed them (Sloth doesn't count, he's too lazy to even care).

Lust and Gluttony have each other.

I missed my sister too. Does anyone care? No.

Wrath and Pride have Mrs. Bradley. Even though their family has been an act all these years ago, there _was_ something. Now that thing is there more so than ever. The woman loves her husband and adopted son and they love her, in their own twisted way. I'm not blind, I can tell that they care about her, that this woman is a very special someone to them.

I have no special someone who cares about me.

Greed has his friends. The pipsqueak and his brother have missed him and that brat from Xing probably misses him too. Hell, even his opposite Virtue Charity has missed him! And Greed has obviously missed them in return. They have given him what he really wants.

I have no friends who can give me what I really want.

And then there's that damn...no, he's no longer a pipsqueak. In fact he's about five inches taller than me now, but that's not what bothers me. What am I supposed to call him now? There's no way I'll call him by his name, I hate him. I hate him! Right?

Edward has everything.

He has a wife – she loves him and he'll cry when she's gone.

He has a son and daughter – and aren't they just adorable little angels!

He has his brother – I didn't recognise Alphonse at first, with his real body. The brothers are as close as ever.

He has his friends – god, all the friends he has! I have no idea how, but Edward Elric has this ability to make friends _everywhere_ with about everyone!

Isn't he such a fucking walking ray of sunshine!

It reminds me of Maes Hughes – killing that man has been so satisfying, mostly because his life had been so happy.

I have no family of my own to make me happy.

The realisation is painful, so much that it hurts me physically.

"Damn you!", I choked, "Damn you all..."

Then I cried.

I have no one. No one has been happy to see me. Kindness doesn't count.

 **The Sins and the humans settling in Chastity's home and Envy being his jealous, emo self.**


	12. First morning

**Chapter ten: First morning**

*Edward's POV*

When I awoke next morning, I was a zombie. I've been sitting at Winry's sickbed all night and my spine was now taking its toll for that. Toll … oh great, now I have a déjàvu.

So when I dragged myself into the kitchen, I was tired, in pain and generally gave off that talk-to-me-and-you're-dead-vibe. The table was already laid, there were buns, biscuits, butter, marmalade, coffee and tea. Looking to the hearth, I saw Charity making scrambled eggs and bacon.

"Good morning!", the blonde female chirped. I grunted in response – how can anyone be so happy and chipper that early in the morning?! That should be illegal!

Charity chuckled: "Not a morning person or didn't sleep well?"

"Both", I muttered.

The generous homunculus looked at me sympathetically. "That sucks, but it's no surprise when you're sleeping on a wooden chair. Let's see if a nice breakfast can cheer you up a little! The other humans have already eaten, I served your wife breakfast in bed. I wish someone would do that for me just once, but usually it's just me doing that."

"You didn't wake me up?", I frowned. What time was it, if the others had already eaten?!

Charity shook her head. "No. You looked extremely exhausted, so I let you sleep. Diligence wanted to make you all work in the garden, but I persuaded her to give some of you the first day off. And you seriously need a break. Temperance and Humility are supervising the other homunculi in the garden, Diligence is working on the extra bathrooms, Kindness should be back from her surgery in a few hours, Hohenheim and Alphonse are taking care of your kids and Mei Chang is with your wife, no worries. So this is officially your off day. You will have it to yourself, so enjoy your alone time, okay?"

I smiled weakly and nodded: "Sure. Sounds like a plan."

"Atta boy", the Virtue cooed and ruffled my head, like I'm a kid. "You know, when Kindness is back, Chastity and I want to go into town to go shopping. You wanna come along?"

I thought about it, maybe I could buy some books. "...Sure."

"Cool! Here's your breakfast!"

She served me bacon and eggs. I took a bite, saw stars and devoured the rest of the plate.

The cook grinned. "That good?"

I nodded eagerly. "It's awesome! I never thought that bacon and eggs could taste so amazing! You're an amazing cook, Charity!"

The female homunculus beamed: "Thanks, man! It's all a matter of practice, I cook for people all the time! It's my hobby as well as my job! Feeding poor people and stuff."

I smiled tiredly: "I envy you. If only I could be as cheerful as you."

Charity chuckled: "Honestly, if I was in your situation, I'm not sure I could be as happy-go-lucky as I am. I think you're pretty strong. Kindness and I've seen this situation countless times before and many family men handle it far worse than you."

She began to put the dirty dishes in the sink. "When you're finished there, can you help me with the dishes? You're the last here and the other homunculi haven't eaten anything." Charity grinned: "Except for Envy. He totally dug into the cookies. Kindness was right, he really does love sweets!"

He likes sweets, huh? I'll remember that...wait what?! Why would that be relevant?!

I shook the thought from my mind. Why should I care about what that palm tree likes? And why the fuck was that bastard invading my mind again?!

"Uh, Edward? You okay?"

Charity's bell-like voice tore me from my thoughts. "Huh?"

"You looked like you were deep in thoughts. Are you alright?"

I shrugged. "I'm good. Just having some weird thoughts." Shudder. " _Very_ weird thoughts."

The woman sighed in relief. "Good. That means you can think about something else than Winry. Don't worry about her", she added, when I jumped up, "She's in good hands with Patience. Trust me on that. Besides, your Winry is a tough cookie, isn't she? Sick or not, she doesn't need to be babied all the time. After all, she was your mechanic, right? Just finish your breakfast and then take a little nap, okay?"

I sighed and sat back down, eating the rest of my eggs and bacon. After helping Charity with the dishes, I lay down on the couch and fell asleep. Before I dozed off, I heard her bell-like chuckle and felt a pair of gentle hands pull a thin cover over me.

*Envy's POV*

When I came inside from the garden, I was grumpy as hell. Humility had made me pick potatoes and now my knees and feet where covered in dirt. That was so humiliating! Oh wait...that's Humility's job. Humiliating people. That white-haired little witch probably gets kicks out of it too.

Entering the kitchen, I saw that Virtue in the wrap dress – Charity the Generous, right? – put the clean dishes into the cupboard.

She must have heard me come in, for she turned around to smile at me.

"Ah, Envy. If you're looking for Chastity, she's in her study, doing formalities."

I huffed: "Good. The ginger wants to talk to her, because of those extra bathrooms, I think. At least she sa-" I stopped myself, when I saw that someone was sleeping the couch.

My frown deepened. "Why does _he_ get to sleep while we have to do shit in the garden?!"

"Because he was overtired and is going through a lot of trouble right now."

Charity put the last dish into the cupboard. "Sit down for a bit and I will get Chastity."

Then the Goldilocks disappeared down the hallway to go upstairs. I glared after her. Stupid goody-two-shoes, being nice to everyone. Just like Kindness. They're probably all buddy-buddy over each other. Bluh!

I turned my attention to the figure sleeping on the couch and crouched down in front of it. Stupid Edward...getting to sleep when I have to pick potatoes.

He looks so different when he's asleep...calm and peaceful. I can't believe it's been twelve years. God, he has changed so much. He is taller than me now. I should shapeshift myself taller, just to annoy him...but I like my form the way it is! He has a little stubble on his face...huh, figures, he has to shave now. The hair is longer. He's wearing a pony tail. Me, I liked the braid better. His shoulders are broader. His hands...his arms! He has both arms! Where is his automail arm? What happened anyway? And why the fuck am I staring at him?!

"That's a pretty good question", a woman's voice startled me from my thoughts. "Why _are_ you staring at him, Envy?"

Looking up, I saw Charity tilting her head inquiringly and Chastity looking down on me with raised eyebrows. They were fucking looking down on me!

"Don't you-mmphh!"

Charity was covering my mouth with her hand.

"Calm down, okay?", the Goldilocks sighed quietly, "I wasn't looking down on you, at least not in the way you mean. Chastity, you two go talk in the library, where his temper tantrums won't disturb the poor man here in his sleep."

Temper tantrums?! What tantrums! I don't have temper tantrums! And poor man?! He?! Don't make me fucking laugh! Fucking bitch...

"So, what did you want to tell me?", Chastity asked and I scowled: "I just came because that ginger told me she wants to talk to ya. Something about the extra bathrooms or whatever. I forgot the rest."

Chastity frowned (does she ever do anything else?): "Listening isn't your strong feat, is it? Huh, I shouldn't be surprised, Kindness is a good listener and you're her polar opposite."

"What's that supposed to mean?!", I blew up.

"Meh, you need to calm down. Well, thank you for telling me, anyways. I'll go find her. And you should go back to work, before Humility notices that you're not coming back."

She left the librabry to go upstairs and left me to...no, I was _not_ sulking! Finally I decided to follow Chastity's advice and return into the garden – Humility, that ghostly witch, is almost as creepy as Pride and I didn't want her to come for me if I didn't return. But when I came outside, I almost crashed into Greed, who was coming in.

The bastard smirked: "Whoa, Envy! I know I'm sexy, but no need to throw yourself at me like that!"

"Shut up!", I snarled and resisted the urge to strangle him.

"Don't even start, you two", a female voice interfered and Lust appeared behind Greed. "If you get into an argument, Humility will have a word with Chastity. And trust me, you don't want to make Chastity angry. I'm not joking. Last time I provoked her, she pierced my throat with her ice spears and buried me under a boulder. Took me days to get out of there. She is usually composed and self-controlled, but when she loses it, she could rival Wrath."

Greed and I exchanged a horrified look – if Lust is intimidated by Chastity, then the blonde _has_ to mean business!

Wait a minute...ice spears?!

"Uh, Lust...what _is_ Chastity's ability?", I asked awkwardly.

Lust shuddered: "She has the ability to control ice and use it as a weapon, similar to my Ultimate Lance. But she has more combat skills than I do."

So she's some sort of ice queen. Scary...

Greed frowned: "Well, figures, she is older and shit. But you should see Charity! She looks like she's all sunshine and sweetness, but she can be creepy as fuck! Once we got into a fight, she strangled me and didn't even give me time to activate my Ultimate Shield! You should've seen the look on her face, she got kicks out of it!"

"Damn right!", Charity's voice rang from the kitchen, "And I'd do it anytime again, Greed!"

The Sin smirked: "Aww, come on! You know you love me, Good Samaritan!"

"Hahaha! In your nightmares, you grabby arsehole!", came the laughing reply.

How these two get along so well is beyond me. Looks like they _do_ have some stuff in common...

Greed smirked: "That's not what you said when you screamed my name that one night!"

Charity's head peeked out from the kitchen and she leaned in the door frame, snorting: "Oh please! It was you who was screaming _my_ name, Greed! You couldn't keep your hands off me!"

Wait, what?! I gaped at them, then I freaked out: "You two fucking screwed each other?!"

Charity shrugged: "It was a party, we got drunk and he came home with me, because the Devil's Nest was too far away. I just managed to close the door..."

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION!", I shrieked and fled, not wanting to hear all the gory details of my older brother fucking his opposite Virtue, who also happened to be our older sister.

*Lust's POV*

I sweatdropped.

Greed and Charity...this was wrong on so many levels...

Charity scratched her head, looking where Envy had run off to. "Geez, that kid has a stick up his ass, doesn't he?"

I shrugged: "Envy's just pissed off, because he's the only one without a love life here."

"Something else that's not new?", Greed commented drily, never passing an opportunity to pick on our little sibling.

"Wait a minute!", a strange voice spoke up, startling us all. Turning to the couch, we saw that Edward was sitting there, wide awake.

Greed scratched his head. "Ah...hey, man. How long have you been awake?"

Edward shrugged: "Since Lust came in and said something about you and Envy having to calm down. So, what do you mean, he has no love life? Are you saying that Envy – that psycho palm tree, who kills people for kicks and is easily the cruellest out of you seven – is a virgin?!"

Greed shrugged: "Pretty much, yeah."

"He's not", I contradicted.

Greed looked confused: "What do you mean, he's not? When did he lose his V-card!?"

I had taken care of that, but of course I didn't tell.

Instead, I told them something else: "He's had some one-night-stands in the 175 years he's been alive, but he doesn't have sex unless it's for information or personal gain. I'm pretty sure he has never even felt aroused before. He probably fakes orgasms, when he fucks people."

Greed snorted: "Geez, that kid is more frigid than Chastity! He needs to get a real good lay! Is Envy even a he? What's that freak's real gender anyway?! Bet he doesn't even know himself!"

Oh Greed, you're as 'subtile' as ever.

*Edward's POV*

I frowned: "So all he ever had were those shallow fucks with strangers?"

Both Sins nodded.

"...That sounds like shit." It really did sound like shit, and pretty lonely too.

"Maybe he's just not into that love business?", Charity suggested.

Envy was colder than ice, at least in character. So I suspected that the Virtue was right.

But Greed scoffed: "Yeah, that's what he says. 'Relationships are for weak humans, who needs that shit anyway' and then there is all that stuff he says about love being pathetic and useless and shit. Why does he even waste time thinking about love, if he thinks it's bullshit?"

That surprised me. Envy, that cold-hearted bastard, had been thinking about love? I mean I knew he was jealous of humans, among other things for having our loved ones to be there for us, but it still caught me by surprise. And Greed was right – if he thought love was bullshit, why think about it?

Lust nodded. "It's all true. That's what he said", she confirmed.

Greed snorted: "That weirdo is fucking deep in denial."

But Lust shook her head: "No, he's just scared."

The other three were confused. "Scared of what?"

"Of making himself vulnerable", the female sin explained.

I frowned again: "So he fucks random strangers every now and then? That's just full of crap! If he doesn't want to make himself vulnerable, why have sex at all?! That doesn't make any sense!"

Lust pinched her nose in frustration: "Envy likes that kind of attention from time to time. Not so much for his own pleasure, but more for the satisfaction that he can make someone scream his name in pleasure, for the intense looks he gets and the attention. Sometimes he's so bored that even killing can't satisfy his hunger for entertainment, so he spends the night at clubs, hooks up strangers, has his way with them and leaves. We used to learn a lot through his and my escapades."

"That sounds like the life of a neglected teenager", I stated sadly.

Greed answered, with a seriousness I'd never witnessed on him before.

"He kinda _is_ one. A 175-years-old teenager trying to fill the inner emptiness with distractions of all kind. Just like I was back then. But Envy needs to hook up with someone for real. That is an empty life, it'll do him no good."

Suddenly Charity started cackling.

What the fuck.

We all stared at her. She wiped away a fake tear and grinned: "Well, that sure is an interesting way to spend the morning – talking about Envy's non-existent love life! Oh, by the way – while you were gossiping, I talked to Humility and Temperance through the window. They're very satisfied with your work, so you have free for the rest of the day. Use it well, the day is still young!"

 **First morning in the new home, Envy being grumpy, Ed didn't have his morning coffee and some very deep sibling talk about Envy's sex life, because apparently that's what older siblings do, I dunno, I don't have any.**


	13. Envy is a drama queen

**Chapter eleven: In which Envy is a drama queen**

I was ready to go out. Kindness had returned an hour ago, and since the freckled blonde was a doctor, I knew my wife in trustworthy hands.

Now, as promised, I was going to go shopping with Charity and Chastity. We were about to grab our backpacks and purses, when there was screaming from upstairs and the next moment Humility was dragging Envy downstairs after herself – by his ear.

"OWOWOWOWOW! OW! THAT HUUURRTS! LET GO, DAMMIT!", the Sin yelled and tried to get his poor abused ear out of her grasp.

Humility sighed: "You know, if you weren't such a child about wearing proper clothes..."

"I'M NOT WEARING HUMAN TRASH! ALSO, THAT'S RICH COMING FROM _YOU_!"

"Probably", the white-haired Virtue countered boredly, "But at least people don't stare at me like I'm a cheap whore."

I winced – that was just mean! Okay, Humility was right – Envy _does_ look like a cheap whore. But couldn't she have put it...nicer, somehow? Oh great, I'm starting to sound like Al.

Envy just stood there, completely shocked. It looked like he was either about to faint or to explode. However, before either one could happen, Patience snuck behind him, touched a certain point on his neck with his fingers and Envy collapsed with a sigh.

"Envy!" I caught the homunculus, before he hit the floor and glared at the childlike Virtue. "What have you done to him?!"

Patience rose his hands in defence. "He was going to lose it, so I knocked him out cold. Don't worry, he's just asleep. When he wakes up, he'll be calmer."

The boy looked up to Humility. "You should have phrased your opinion more carefully. To call him a cheap whore was just mean."

Humility facepalmed: "I was saying that he _dresses like_ a cheap whore, not that he _is_ one! But you're right, I should have been more tactful. Edward, can you carry him to the car?"

I hesitated, recalling the events in Gluttony's stomach twelve years ago. "I don't know – he is heavier than he looks. I have seen his true form, so yeah."

"Give it a shot – he's too tall for me and I'm physically not very strong", Humility pleaded.

I tried to lift the sleeping Sin and was surprised to find that Envy actually weighed as much as a teen of his figure was supposed to – meaning he was pretty light. Too light.

In this moment, a WTF-faced Selim came downstairs. "I heard Envy scream his lungs out. What in the Gate happened here? Why is he unconscious and why is Edward carrying him?"

I sorrowfully looked down at the unconscious homunculus in my arms, before turning to Selim: "Honestly? You really don't want to know."

With a sigh, I wrapped the androgynous teen in my brown coat and proceeded to carry him to Chastity's car, followed by Humility, Chastity and Charity. When I placed him on the backseat, I allowed myself a moment to glance at Envy's sleeping face. I had never seen the deranged palm tree so peaceful before. Envy's face looked deceptively angelic, almost dollish. Did everyone look like that in their sleep, or was it because Patience had knocked him out? He looked beautiful...wait, where the fuck had that come from?! Winry was going to tear my head off for- Winry!

"Hey, Patience."

The childlike Virtue, who was about to go back inside, turned around. "Hm?"

"Tell Kindness to take good care of Winry and tell her that I love her."

Patience nodded: "Sure. I'm on my way." Then he hurried back into the house.

Chastity was about to take the driver's seat. "It's my car, so I'll drive."

Charity protested vehemently: "Oh hell no! You're a hazard! Get offa there, I'll drive!"

I got in, trying not to think too hard about why someone who couldn't drive owned a car in the first place. I guess that was homunculus logic.

The drive to town was quiet. Only after half an hour, I decided to break the awkward silence. "He isn't taking the being back to life thing very well, is he?", I asked softly, to not disturb the black-haired homunculus sleeping on my shoulder.

"No", Humility answered quietly, "He probably killed himself to escape from a world which he felt treated him unjustly. Now he has to face it all again and on top of that, he's stuck with the person who can see right through him, who has seen him at his weakest."

I understood.

That was me. He had killed himself, because he couldn't handle that I understood him...and here he saw me again and I felt so different, yet the same to him...that was it, right? And then there are the others. All of the Sins have someone who's been happy to see them, even Wrath. Well, maybe not Sloth, but he probably doesn't give a damn anyway. But Envy...no one has been happy to see him, has there? I mean, no surprise there, he's an arsehole. Still, must be hard though. Okay, Kindness was happy, but I bet that Virtue would be happy to see anyone, so that doesn't really count...

I sighed softly and shook my head. Good grief...maybe that arsehole Kimbley had been right and I really am too kind...I mean, here I am, feeling bad for Envy of all people...

*Envy's POV*

I woke up and felt myself leaning against something warm. What the fuck happened? Oh right, someone knocked me out from behind. Fucking asshole...

"Ah, you're finally awake!"

Edward fucking Elric's voice startled me and when I looked up, I found myself resting on the Fullmetal Alchemist's shoulder. "What the fuck?!"

In my attempt to get as far away from the blond as possible, I bumped into someone sitting on my right. She shielded herself with her left arm.

"Hello to you too, Envy, but I would appreciate it, if you _don't_ press me against the car window, thank you."

Fucking Humility. Wait. Car window? Oh right, she had wanted to take me clothes shopping. Did they carry me to the car while I was out? How long had I been asleep anyway?

"How long was I out?"

"About half an hour", Chastity's cool voice came from the front, " _Someone_ said something you didn't like, Patience put you to sleep before anyone got hurt and Edward carried you to the car."

I could see her hawk-like yellow eyes (now that's what I call hawk eyes, seriously!) in the mirror, glaring at Humility, who raised her hands in defence: "Hey, I said I was sorry!"

I scowled. "Oh yeah, now I remember! You said I look like a cheap whore! How about you say that apology to my fucking face?!"

Then she grabbed me right hand and put back her hair on the left side to reveal a yellow eye to show how sincere she was. That caught me by surprise.

"I'm sorry", Humility apologised, "I shouldn't have said what I said. That was wrong of me. Sometimes I can be very cruel, but I won't say it again, I promise. Can you accept my apology?"

"Huh? Uhh, sure", I stuttered, not having expected that. No one had ever apologised to me before and actually meant it! But then again, this was Humility – being modest entailed being able to admit you're wrong, right? Hah! And that is why there is no way I will ever be "humble"! I'm Envy the Jealous! I'm a fucking homunculus, I have a pride to lose! I'm dangerous, devious and much more powerful than these stupid humans could ever dream of! I'm better than these pathetic worms, I-

I...who am I kidding. I'm pathetic.

I lowered my head so my black hair hid my face. There was no way I would let them think I was wallowing in self-pity – I wasn't!

Suddenly I remembered something that made me shudder: Gha...that white-haired little witch wants to make me wear human rags! What does she have against my cute outfit?

I glanced over to the left, where Edward was glancing out of the window. For the split of a second, I wanted to sink back onto that warm, comfortable shoulder. I shook in horror – where the fuck had that come from?!

It wasn't until now that I finally noticed that something was covering me, some heavy fabric. Looking down, it was a brown trench-coat.

Edward's coat. Before I knew what I was doing, I sniffed it.

It smelled like earth, fresh air and withering leaves – like a rainy autumn day.

So this was what he smelled like...I'd never paid attention to it...wait – what the fuck was I doing?!

I felt my cheeks heat up.

Oh no, I was SO not blushing! Homunculi don't blush! Especially not me! Stop that, Envy!

Luckily my hair was hiding my face, so the others didn't see just how red it was.

Oh my god...this has never happened before...what is going on...what is happening to me?!

I threw a half-hearted glare at Edward, who didn't notice, because he was still staring out of the window.

Stupid grown-up pipsqueak. Confusing me like that. Edward Elric, what are you doing to me...

"Hey, Envy!"

Chastity's voice tore me from my thoughts. "Any reason your face is so red?"

I could hear the smirk in her voice and Charity next to her was glinting smugly, like she knew something I didn't. It pissed me off.

"Shut up!", I spat angrily. They just snickered, which pissed me off even more.

Someone had noticed after all.

Fuuuuuuuuuck!

 **Envy being a little bitch and a tsundere, Humility being a bit mean, Edward being weirded out by his own thoughts and, last but not least, some womanly smugness brought to you by Chastity and Charity!**


	14. Shopping

**Chapter twelve: Shopping**

The rest of the ride was very awkward. Us four homunculi and the alchemist were glad when we finally arrived at the mall.

Charity got the car parked, then picked a fight with some arsehole who had decided that picking on our appearances would be a good way to end his life. Specifically by calling me a cheap whore, Humility a ghost child and Chastity a stuck-up ice queen. Chastity obviously didn't give a fuck and neither did Humility, who was obviously too used to this, but I really, _really_ wanted to tear that worm to pieces! However, before one of us could do anything, Charity got pissed, kneed the bastard in the stomach and then nearly throttled him to death, before forcing him to apologise.

Wow...Greed hadn't been kidding. Goldilocks could really be creepy as hell. And she was holding back, being the goody-two-shoes she was.

She could easily have torn him to shreds, that was obvious, but she didn't. But then again; this is what defines the Virtues – their ridiculous love for mercy, kindness and that sissy stuff.

After that ridiculous incident, we decided to part ways.

Charity wanted to do some groceries for this dinner's dessert and get some meds that Kindness had ordered, Chastity and Edward wanted to buy books and Humility was hell-bent on getting me...human clothes. *shudder*

Before we parted, I placed a hand on Edward's shoulder and he turned to face me.

"Uh, your coat", I said awkwardly and held it out to the alchemist.

Edward smiled: "You can give it back to me when we're home. Keep it on while we're here, I think it looks good on you."

 _He thinks it looks good on me!_

I don't have a heart, but I could have sworn that my Philosopher's Stone leapt at that.

With some struggle, I managed to hold back from blushing. "Oh...thanks, Elric."

"Cut the Elric crap. Just call me Edward", the blond chuckled.

Oh hell, naw! That name would only be for special occasions. But I just had come up with the best nickname ever...

"'Kay. Whatever floats your boat, _ex-pipsqueak_!"

Ed was about to go on one of his cute don't-call-me-short-rants, when he realised that I had acknowledged that he wasn't a pipsqueak anymore.

He grinned: "Okay, see ya later!"

I was startled, when he ruffled my head before running off with Chastity to go and raid some bookshops.

For a moment, I stood there dumbstruck – I mean, it's not everyday someone ruffles my head! – before Humility's meek voice woke me up.

"Envy? Envy! Earth to Envy! We're here for something, remember?"

I blinked, then nodded absent-mindedly. Without a word I put the coat that was too big for me back on and followed Humility to go shopping, still in a daze after what had just happened.

*Edward's POV*

Three hours later, Chastity and I both had acquired as many books as we could carry in our back-bags and were strolling through the street, looking for the others. After a while, we spied a shock of white hair in an expensive clothes shop that we would have recognised everywhere and entered.

Upon hearing the door bell, Humility looked up fro the chair she was sitting on. "Oh, there you two are! Envy is back in the cloak room, trying on the clothes we picked out for him. We had a little dispute, because he only wants black, which is absolutely out of question."

"Shut up!", came Envy's raspy voice from around the corner, "Black is the only decent colour!"

"Black is not a colour, Envy", Humility sighed.

"Well guess what, neither is white!"

I frowned.

Talk about being petty. But this _was_ Envy...

"That's true", Humility agreed, "But white looks friendlier than black. Makes people be nicer to you and trust you more. Also, it doesn't look like you're going to a funeral."

"I'm a Sin, I'm not supposed to look friendly! Besides, you're just pissed, because black makes me look sexy and white makes you look fat!", came the petulant retort.

Whoa...I knew that Envy was vain as hell, but this was just bull...

Chastity raised an eyebrow, obviously thinking the same.

Luckily, Humility didn't take offence to that and just chuckled: "I'm a Virtue, I'm not supposed to look 'sexy'. And Envy, that's actually a good thing. If I wore black, everyone would see how scrawny I am and that would be annoying. This dress is _supposed_ to make me look fat, that's the point. So are you ready?"

"Just another minute", Envy hissed, then we heard him mutter something about stupid shoes.

"Are you really that thin?", I asked Humility. If what she said was true, she had to be a stick.

Humility sighed gravely and lifted her dress a little, revealing legs so skinny that I couldn't help but wonder, how the Virtue could stand up, let alone walk on her own. It reminded me of Al's body after he had gotten it back. The resemblance made my heart bleed.

She let her dress fall over her legs again. "It's frustrating, really. I've always looked like that and it doesn't change, no matter how much I eat or work out. Before you ask, Edward, I'm not sick or malnourished. But people always assume that when they see me, so they pity me. It gets very tiresome after a while, so I wear these long white dresses that conceal my figure. I tire easily too."

"Yeah", Envy's voice interfered again, "We had to sit down twice, because her legs gave away. It was really annoying. Anyway, I'm finished."

"Why, let us see then!", Chastity requested.

"No way! I look stupid!", Envy protested.

Perhaps now was a good time for me to speak up. "Envy, come on! You don't need to wear them inside the house, only in public, just...just show us these damn clothes."

"Okay, okay, fine!" The sound of a curtain drawn back was heard and Envy came around the corner.

"Wow, you're looking good! All the women will look at you!"

He was wearing skin-tight black pants, a dark purple button-up shirt and black low shoes.

In short, he looked gorgeous. Holy crap, I was never going to hear the end of this from Winry...and what would Al say? And Mei? Holy shit, Mei! God, she probably hates Envy the most...not that I can blame her...

I tore myself from my thoughts to see Envy smirk at me.

"Why thank you, ex-pipsqueak! And what about the guys?"

Why would he ask me something like that? Was he gay or something? Oh wait – was that even possible, did he even have a gender? Wait a minute, was he hitting on me?! No way, that's fucking Envy, we used to be enemies, surely he wasn't attracted to me, we'd lived together for two days, that would be so weird, also I have wife and children, that would be wrong on so many levels...

I didn't show my feelings and smirked: "Sure, I don't see why not!"

Envy's grin widened.

"At least the single ones", I added for good measure.

For the split of a second, Envy's grin wavered a little, before he composed himself. It was almost unnoticeable, but because I was staring at him so intently, I caught it.

Huh...seems like he didn't like the reminder that I'm married...

*Envy's POV*

Fuck. Stupid Elric. You just had to rub into my face that you're married, hadn't you? Why does that bother me anyway...

I managed to hide my feelings and keep up my smirk.

"I'm flattered! And married people automatically _won't_ notice me?", I commented sarcastically.

Chastity stepped in: "Look at it this way: Humility's pretty sadistic, instead of these nice men's clothes, she could have made you wear dresses – pink ones with frills!"

I couldn't believe my ears. Surely she wouldn't – would she? Oh my god, that grin – she would! The thought made me shudder with fear.

And then these two started giggling! Even that arsehole Elric smirked!

"Don't worry", Humility chuckled, "That was a joke!"

"Virtues my ass!", I spat, "You two are fucking evil!"

Chastity shrugged: "Why, just because we're the Seven Heavenly Virtues, doesn't mean we're all sunshine and rainbows. So, let's buy these clothes for you, fetch Charity and go home."

"I still don't understand, why you won't just let me shapeshift myself some clothes on", I complained, tugging at my shirt.

"Because you guys are going to live like humans", Charity's voice came from the door and we turned around to see the Goldilocks enter the shop with four huge bags full of groceries and medication. "So no shapeshifting clothes on for you", the woman added. Why, thanks a lot. I went back to the cloakroom to get out of these clothes, came back and placed them in ghost girl's arms.

"There you are", Chastity greeted her fellow Virtue, while Humility went to the cashier to pay my new clothes. "Already finished with your shopping?"

Charity grinned: "Yup. There's a new store and guess what, I was the first customer! I got everything for half the price, so I bought as much as my bags could hold! But man, the guys at the pharmacy! I almost punched the chemist in the face, he really pissed me off! And when I showed him the notice that Kindness gave me, he immediately jumped to get me what I wanted! Such a smarmy arsehole. How Kindness puts up with him is beyond me. Oh, hi Envy!"

"Hi", I replied listlessly.

Humility came back. "I paid. Hi, Charity. Envy, why don't you show her your new clothes?"

"What, again-?"

"Oh yes!", Charity cried excitedly, "Please! I want to see them!"

"Oh come on!", I protested, "I just got out of them!"

"Yes, so I could pay them", Humility retorted, "But now they're yours. So why don't you go back and put the clothes you just wore back on? I'm not letting you outside looking like that again."

"I fucking hate you guys!", I muttered, but took the bag, returned to the cloakroom and changed. Well, at least Charity's reaction to my new attire boosted my ego a little.

She let out an appreciative whistle. "Damn, you sure look sharp! You're gonna get so many whistles, when we go back to the car! Who chose the clothes, you or Humility?"

"Give him the credit here!", Humility replied and took the now empty bag from me, "I forbade him to wear black only, but colour combinations were legit and it turned out he has a pretty good taste!"

 _Why is she saying that? She chose at least half of all this stuff for me! That white-haired weirdo..._

*Edward's POV*

We returned to the car with full bags. On the way, everyone stared at us, specifically at Envy and Charity (probably because her wrap dress revealed her left leg to the knee). And Charity was right; Envy really did get a lot of whistles. The black-haired homunculus didn't seem to mind at all, if anything, he enjoyed it.

But I got tired of all the people staring at the androgynous teen after a while and asked him to put my trench-coat back on. Envy looked confused at that, but complied anyway.

I grinned. My coat really looked good on him. It's so satisfying and yet strange that I'm taller than him now. _My_ coat was too big for _him_. So who's the pipsqueak now, huh Envy?

And the best thing was that Envy got less whistles now. Much better.

To my distress, there were even more whistles, when we came home. Everyone seemed to like Envy's new style and he was obviously enjoying the praise. I was pissed off at how that palm tree bathed in the undeserved attention he got. Hell, even Al and Mei complimented the homunculus on his outfit and Greed congratulated his little sibling on finally wearing some real clothes.

With a sigh, I left the living room to go to the sickbay.

When I entered the room, I only had eyes for the figure on the sickbed. Her smile made me feel better immediately.

"Hey, Winry."

She looked up to me and her blue eyes were full of love.

"Hey, Ed."

 **Envy gets new clothes. Hooray! XD**

 **Envy: Shut up. *tugging at his shirt***

 **Me: Come on, you look awesome!**


	15. Bathroom woes

**Chapter thirteen: Bathroom woes**

*Narrator's POV*

"I'm so sorry!" Diligence cried, "I just don't know what went wrong!"

"What are you talking about?", Hohenheim asked.

The ginger-haired homunculus scratched her head. "I'm afraid, someone made a mistake at installing the pipes for the new bathrooms in the first and second floor. So you'll have to share the one bathroom on the ground floor a little longer."

Her message was met with a collectiv groan.

Pride, Envy and Al were waiting in front of the toilet, trying hard to contain themselves, when Edward joined the queue.

"Come on, get out of the way", Edward hissed, "I'm about to bust!"

"So are we!", Envy hissed.

"And so was I", Hohenheim's voice came from inside the bathroom.

"I am totally not", Alphonse commented sarcastically.

Envy looked at the younger Elric brother incredulously: "Are you being salty? Anyway", he turned to Edward, "Your stupid father has been occupying the bathroom for half an hour now. God knows what he's doing in there. Does he always take that long?"

"As long as I remember", Edward sighed, "Oh god, I'm bursting!"

"At your seams?", Al snickered.

"You should've eaten less then", Envy sneered. "Just don't shit yourself, will ya?"

Edward clutched his stomach. "Come on! Does anyone mind if I go to the front, please!"

"You wait your turn, brother!", Al scolded.

Ed sighed: "Isn't that the story of my fucking life..."

"No, it's not", Envy and Al said simultaneously.

Pride desperately knocked at the bathroom door. "Get on with it, Hohenheim! They're starting again!"

"Hey guys! What are you doing?", Chastity asked, passing by.

Pride glared: "Queuing up for the bathroom, obviously. Hohenheim is taking his sweet time in there and we're almost...well, you get the idea."

Chastity sighed and knocked at the bathroom door. "Hohenheim, there are four people waiting and they're in a hurry. What's taking you so long! Just finish your business."

There was a murmur from inside and Chastity frowned. "What do you mean, you can't? ...Oh. No toilet paper? Right, I'll get some!"

She hurried away, leaving two very frustrated humans and two even more frustrated homunculi to wait.

Edward slammed his head against the wall. "You've got to be kidding me!"

Envy clawed his fingers into the wall, trying to keep it in.

Pride clutched his stomach, mumbling: "Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts..."

"Imagine spilling Hohenheim's blood on the floor", Envy suggested.

The boy grinned: "Thank you, Envy. That actually _does_ make me feel better!"

"You two are not going to kill our father!", Alphonse said sharply, resulting in two homunculi sighing disappointedly.

In this moment, Chastity came back. "I'm so awfully sorry – this seems to have been the last roll of toilet paper! You will have to use the pit latrine in the back yard."

Pride and Envy exchanged horrified looks, Ed and Al gaped.

Right in this moment, Diligence came up to them. "Hey guys, you won't believe what I found in Greed's room! Check this out!"

The ginger produced a full package of toilet paper from behind her back.

"GRRREEEEEEEED!", Envy yelled in outrage.

"Note to self", Pride snarled, "Kill Greed the Avaricious as brutally as possi- oh shut up, Selim!"

The Elric brothers facepalmed.

Diligence handed Hohenheim the toilet paper into the bathroom, a minute later the old man came outside and a very relieved Pride snuck inside.

"That motherfucking bastard!", Envy hissed, obviously referring to Greed. "His ass has had it, when Pride and I are fucking done with him!"

Al sighed and turned to Diligence: "Do us a favour and refill the stash of toilet paper still today. God knows how long that full package will last in this house and it's the last one."

Diligence saluted him like a soldier. "Right away!"

Lust was desperate – Kindness was currently taking a bath and taking it far too long. Kindness had said that she'd hurry and Lust believed her, for it wasn't in the blond's nature to intentionally drawl things out, when someone was waiting, but she really, really had to get ready, like now!

"Kindness, hurry!", she sighed, "I really have no time!"

Instead of receiving an answer, the door clicked and the androgynous Virtue came outside, hair soaking wet, with a towel wrapped around her body, her clothes in her arms.

"It's free now", she said kindly and with a grateful look Lust slipped inside.

Greed was hammering on the bathroom door, pissed as hell. Sloth had been in there for an hour now and everyone in the queue was flipping their shit. Charity and Humility had already gone for the pit latrine in the back yard, because they couldn't hold it in any-more, and Greed was thinking about doing the same, because he really, really needed to relieve himself.

"Hurry the fuck up, lazy bone!", he yelled and kicked the door.

"Greed!", Al scolded, "Not in front of the children!"

Edward's children Van and Nina were standing behind him.

"Sorry", Greed muttered. Stupid kids, needing consideration! He rose his fist angrily. "That's it. I'm gonna break down that f...freaking door and-"

"Wait", Diligence, who was standing behind him, cried and grabbed his arm. "No one is going to profit from a doorless bathroom! Let me handle this!"

Begrudgingly, Greed let her go to the front. The ginger-haired homunculus smirked, produced some tools from her camisole and cracked the lock. Then she marched into the bathroom without a second thought and returned outside, her left arm holding up Sloth, who was – yes, you've guessed it! - sleeping. Everyone's jar dropped to the floor as the little girl walked to the window carrying the Sin that was at least five times her size, then just threw him out of the window.

"Bathroom is free!", she said nonchalantly (Greed bolted inside), "I'm gonna use the latrine."

Mei gratefully advanced in line.

Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy and Hohenheim were waiting for their turn, because Patience was currently using the restroom. Sadly, the childlike Virtue was taking his sweet time to do his business. When he finally came out, Pride was about to take his turn, when a huge, black blob dashed pass him and claimed the toilet for himself.

That was too much for Pride. A vein popped.

"SLOOOOTH! YOU FUCKING BASTARD, WHEN YOU GET OUT OF THERE, I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE AND FEED YOU TO GLUTTONY!"

Hohenheim frowned: "That was a mean thing to say."

Meanwhile the other sins were shivering in a corner.

When Pride saw this, he raised an eyebrow and let Selim take over, who looked confused. "What is the matter with you three?"

Envy stuttered: "P-Pride...he...did he just swear?! N-now I've heard everything..."

"Swear?!", Greed whimpered, "He fucking lost it! It's the end of the world!"

"I don't want to die again!", Lust whispered and all three of them cowered together in fear.

Selim sweatdropped.

*Envy's POV*

"I'm going to kill her. Skin her and use her skin to wipe the bloodstains off the wall, when I'm finished with her!"

I was talking about Kindness. She'd given me a laxative against my digestion problems and now I felt like I was going to burst.

Fortunately, Alphonse Elric soon came out.

I was just about to go in, when something, or better someone darted past me.

"Get out of my way!", Edward screamed, holding his oh-so-beloved _wife_ in his arms, and pushed me out of the way. Then he ran into the bathroom, with her no less, and locked the door.

Alphonse frowned as he looked at the door. "That was mean."

Meanwhile I got back up, seething with fury. "EDWARD FUCKING ELRIC!", I roared, "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

From the inside I heard _her_ talk: "That was totally unnecessary, Ed. He probably needs it worse than I."

 _Damn right, I do!_

"Hey, you said you need to bath and you're my top priority."

 _Fucking arsehole!_

"Let him in."

What?

"Are you nuts? That's fucking Envy! That freak is homicidal! He just said he wants to kill me and when he says that, he _means_ it!"

 _Damn right! Nice to hear you still remember that, ex-pipsqueak!_

"Mr. Envy!", _she_ called from inside.

Being called that made me blink. "Yes?"

"If you promise not to kill my husband, you can use the toilet, while I bath here!"

"What?" Edward shrieked.

I couldn't help but be surprised: "Are you serious?"

I mean, she had to know what I could do to her once we were alone in the bathroom, right?

"Yes", _she_ replied, "Just try not to get into a catfight, you two. I have my wrench with me, you know."

I heard Edward sigh in exasperation: "Is there anywhere you don't bring your wrench to?"

That was a good question actually; who the fuck bathes with a wrench?!

"Nope. Now let him in and you get out."

"But..."

"Ed..." I could practically see _her_ threaten him with that wrench.

"Okay, okay! Yeesh, whatever you want!" He opened the door, slipping out, let me in and I locked the door immediately. Now I was alone with _the woman_ in the bathtub, only the curtain shielded her from my view. Geez, _she_ sure had guts!

"Thanks a lot, uhh, Mrs. Elric."

 _Mrs. Elric_...I hated that address. Another friendly reminder that he is married. To _her_.

A surprisingly warm chuckle came from the bathtub. "You're welcome. And just call me Winry."

I did my business quickly and wanted to leave, but _she_ invited me to talk to her a little, since she had sent her _husband_ out. So I ended up talking to _her_ for fifteen minutes straight. When I finally got out and passed by a very anxious Edward Elric, I felt like I'm finally beginning to understand just why he loves _that woman_ so much.

 **Me: Ah, the bathroom miseries. That joke never gets old! XD**

 **Homunculi: *glare at me* Shut up!**

 **Me: Also, Winry being weird and Envy being weirded out.**

 **Envy: Damn right, I am!**


	16. The Virtues

**Chapter fourteen: The abilities of the Virtues**

*Edward's POV*

"I just don't know what I'm supposed to do with you two", Humility sighed, as she dragged Greed and Envy behind herself with her shadows. "You always pick fights! Patience, please take care of these two." She dropped the two in front of her fellow Virtue's feet.

I watched the whole scene, taking mental notes.

 _Shadows...she can control shadows. Just like Pride._

Watching Wrath and Patience fight was strange. Not because this was a Deadly Sin fighting a Heavenly Virtue, but because Patience wasn't doing anything. He just dodged Wrath's attacks with ease and that meant something, because Wrath was fast as hell. Damn, this was King fucking Bradley! The only ones who could hold their own against him were Ling, Greed and Scar.

"You can't dodge my attacks forever!", Wrath yelled over the strong wind.

Patience retorted: "And you can't keep attacking me forever!"

Envy and I were watching the fight from the balcony.

"Who do you think will win?", I asked him.

The Sin pondered: "Well, unlike Wrath, Patience is a full-fledged homunculus and physically younger, so he should have more stamina. Don't see how he's gonna defeat Wrath anytime soon by just dodging the attacks, though."

They had been going at it for half an hour now and watching them was getting boring.

But right in this moment, Temperance came outside. "You have to end this fight, Patience!", she shouted at the boy, "Dinner is ready."

"Alright", he cried back, dodging another move.

"Wonder if now this will get more interesting", Envy muttered.

But what happened next, neither he nor I could have expected.

Patience suddenly became much more active, went at Wrath with incredible speed. Then, before anyone could register the movement, the boy had touched several points on Wrath's body and the ex-Fuhrer was on the ground. Just like that. Envy and I gaped at each other.

"He just...knocked out King Bradley!", I whispered in awe.

"I'll never be able to look at this kid the same way again", Envy breathed.

On the grass, Patience was bending down to give his opposite Sin a hand.

"I prefer to resolve conflicts peacefully. Even though this was a friendly competition, do you think you have enough?"

Wrath chuckled and took the offered hand. "Not at all, young man, not at all. This was very interesting, we should do it again tomorrow."

The blond boy agreed. Then they both went towards the house peacefully. Perhaps that was one of Patience's abilities, that no one could stay angry at him, no matter how hard they tried.

"How did you do that?", I asked him, when Wrath and Envy had already gone inside.

Patience smiled: "It's a nice trick I learned in Xing. I can see people's energy flows and thanks to some special training, I can influence them. That's how I knocked out Wrath, by blocking the critical points in his flows. Of course I had the element of surprise on my side, had he known what I was going to do, he wouldn't have let it come that far. He is a really good fighter."

The energy flow? That's what Ling, Lan Fan and Mei Chang always talked about...so he can influence it, huh? That's his special ability?

Patience seemed to guess what I was thinking, because he chuckled: "That might be impressive for you, but my real ability is the 'Ultimate Voice', I only use that one in emergencies. That's what I was born with, controlling energy flows is something I learned from others. I usually use that one to defend myself and others, as you have seen with Wrath and Envy. It's more practical."

 _Ultimate Voice? Wonder what that means. Yeah, the other thing is definitely better._

I nearly got a heart attack, when I entered the room and was nearly riddled by...ice darts?

"What the fuck are you doing here?", Chastity snarled, "I thought I said I wanted to be alone for the next three hours! Can't you see I'm busy?!"

 _Okay...Lust was right, she really can make ice and use it as a weapon. Geez, that's creepy. Damn, this Virtue reminds me of Sensei way too much!_

If Diligence's superstrength hadn't been obvious before, it definitely became apparent, when she single-handedly pulled our car out of the mud.

 _Well, I guess she has to even out Sloth's superspeed._

"Kindness, can I ask you something?", I asked insecurely.

Kindness smiled: "Of course you can. What can I do for you?"

"Um, how do you keep up your alias? You know, as Dr. Ramiel G. Angel."

The freckled blonde grinned: "Oh, the answer is simple – see?"

Blue sparks danced around her androgynous figure and she became a medium-sized, middle-aged doctor with a slight tan, chestnut hair, brown eyes and glasses.

"Dr. Ramiel Gratian Angel, gynaecologist, andrologist, dentist, general practitioner, psychologist, psychiatrist etc., at your service", the man said in a warm baritone and bowed in front of me elegantly, before turning back to her younger, blond, freckled, androgynous form.

A shapeshifter.

I didn't know if I should laugh or cry.

 _The longer I know her, the more she reminds me of Envy..._

I saw Charity enter the house, looking as chipper as ever. Thinking back to the day she had manhandled a random guy for insulting her siblings, I looked at the generous Virtue.

 _I wonder what her ability is..._

"Hm? Oh, hi Edward! What did you want to know about my ability?", the female homunculus asked in her stride.

"I-I-uh, I wanted to know...what ability...do you have?", I stammered.

"Oh? I'm psychic!", the woman laughed, then walked off like a boss.

 _So she can read my mind and stuff like that? That's fucking creepy..._

Okay, to summarise it all: Humility can control shadows, like Pride. Kindness can shapeshift, like Envy. Chastity can control ice and use it as a weapon. Patience can influence human energy flows. Diligence is superstrong. Charity is psychic. And what about Temperance?

"Hey, Temperance?"

The silver blonde looked up from her book questioningly. "Yes?"

"What is your special ability?"

She put her book down, looking pensively. "Oh dear...it's a bit hard to put into words..."

I sat down in front of her, waiting patiently and curiously.

The tall woman began: "What I can do...I absorb energies of all kind. Fire, sunlight, electricity, anything like that. With these energies I can supply my Philosopher's Stone. But I can only absorb a certain amount of energy, until I get physically sick."

My eyes became huge with wonder. "You can sustain your stone by other means than human souls?"

Temperance smiled: "Well, I still need stones once in a while, but not remotely as many as the others do. Like I said, I only can keep in a certain amount of energy. If I absorb too much, I throw up stones. Since I refrain from eating too much, Diligence mostly has to get red stones from somewhere else. But once in a while, I can supply some."

 _Of all the abilities the Virtues have, Temperance's is my favourite._

 **Here you get to know in detail what the Virtues can do! Except for Humility - there is something about her that you don't know yet! ;)**


	17. Training

**Chapter fifteen: Training**

We're living here for weeks now and things have begun to settle down.

The occasional spats between the homunculi aside, nothing major was happening.

The other bathrooms had finally been finished and so there was no longer endless queuing up in front of the one on the ground floor, much to our relief.

There were some days when there was nothing to do and Diligence, being the sly little girl she is, made everyone use their free time with training, except for Winry, because she was ill, and Mrs. Bradley, because she was too old. They received an extra special program with Patience. As for the rest, no one was spared, not even my children, although they were only six and five (I resisted the temptation to try and strangle the girl).

It turned out that Diligence had spent her free time coming up with an individual training program for each of us. This training included combat skills, gymnastics, stamina and power training, tai chi, self defence, pain tolerance, breathing training and muscle relaxation.

The mornings always started with the ginger-haired homunculus walking through all floors waking us up with loud screaming and shooing us out into the garden.

The zealous Virtue has no mercy with anyone (but then again, this is more Patience's forte). The other Virtues have to partake too, except for Patience, because he trains with Winry and Mrs. Bradley.

I'm glad that I'm naturally sportive and fit, otherwise I wouldn't be able to handle Diligence's rigid program. My program for this day went as follows:

warming up with everyone under Kindness's guidance,

Diligence's power training together with Pride, Humility and Sloth,

Wrath's speed training together with Sloth, Charity and Al,

Humility's Tai Chi with my children, Envy and Hohenheim,

Envy's gymnastic training with Al and Diligence (Envy's a surprisingly good teacher),

Lust's pain tolerance training with Mei Chang and Envy,

Charity's relaxation training with Chastity and Gluttony,

Mei Chang's self defence training with Lust and Kindness,

and, last but not least, Chastity's combat training, again together with Envy.

I groaned, when I saw my plan. Friday was always the longest training day, before we could spend the weekend nursing our cramps and wounds. Diligence is a pretty abusive supervisor – just like sensei. Also, there was way too much Envy on my schedule.

Well, at least it was good weather, so Winry and Mrs. Bradley would come outside too.

Good, then I can keep an eye on Winry.

"Can I ask you something?", I groaned, when I arm-wrestled with Diligence during power training. Even without using her superstrength she easily defeated me every time, which was pretty demotivating.

Diligence lifted an eyebrow but nodded. "Sure?"

"Why is there always so much Envy in my training schedule?"

I didn't like the smug smirk on the girl's face.

"Oh, you know", the female homunculus said, "Envy is a lot more docile with you around. Almost nice. So we thought we could use that to our advantage. Maybe we can't turn him into a better person, but we're pretty confident that _you_ can."

"E-eh?!" I looked over to Envy, who was currently running against Humility and Chastity in speed training. Envy was currently winning, but that was no surprise to me, since I already knew that the Sin was pretty fast on his legs. The other two were pretty fast too, though. Bradley, who was supervising, said something to Humility and she nodded, while Envy was enjoying his victory.

"Hey, Edward?" Diligence's voice tore me back.

"Yeah?"

The ginger smirked: "You need to pay attention, when you train with someone!"

She was pinning my arm to the table. When the fuck had that happened?!

"I win!", she triumphed. "You get distracted too easily!"

Tai Chi with Humility was wonderfully relaxing, but that was the point. Diligence had scheduled everyone's training so that there would always be relaxing episodes between her merciless drills to allow us to catch our breaths.

I couldn't help but smile at my children's attempts to get their movements just like Humility did. God, I love them so much!

Hohenheim's attempts at getting into the flow were just hilarious, it was obvious that he was growing old. I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or cry. He was showing the first signs of age complications. There was the first grey in his pale blond hair. Wrinkles were finally appearing on this over 400 years old face. Hohenheim was ageing and he seemed to be enjoying it. One day he would be gone. Just like mum. And Winry, who would probably die first. The thought hurt so much. Now I know how it felt for Hohenheim, living for centuries.

"Daddy?"

I blinked to see my son and daughter look up to me and Hohenheim's face was full of concern. Humility was tilting her head at me. Even Envy was looking over questioningly.

"Edward", the old man said worriedly, "What's the matter? You suddenly look so devastated."

I smiled bitterly. "Nothing. Just thinking about death."

Humility frowned: "That's not a good thing to think about. And in front of your children too."

Envy nodded. I don't think I had ever seen him look so serious.

"Yeah. Being dead su-", he interrupted himself, probably because Hohenheim was glaring at him – wow, that was new! "Death really isn't fun. I speak from experience."

 _Heh...you would_ , I thought drily.

"Daddy, what's death?", Nina asked curiously.

I sighed: "I will tell you someday."

Envy was about to say something, but I glared hard and so he kept his mouth.

Right in this moment, Hohenheim comically saved the situation: "Aaarrgh! Cramp! Cramp!"

Humility hurried to help him, while the four of us giggled in the background.

"You do realise you will have to tell them as soon as their mother dies?", Envy sighed, when he and I moved on to gymnastics, while the kids went to speed and Hohenheim to power training.

"They will be confronted with it and you will have to explain it."

"I know." my voice was cooler than intended, but I knew he was right. "But not yet."

"What are you going to tell them anyway?", the homunculus asked as he leapt onto the rope to balance on it, "That death is an endless sleep or something? How cute."

With irritation I noticed that the old mockery in the other's voice was back.

"Well, why don't you tell me what death is like, you bastard?!", I snapped.

Envy snickered: "There's the Edward Elric I know! But to answer your question-" he jumped off the rope, "it's probably different for you than for me. Because you have a soul that can go somewhere", he explained, when I looked at him questioningly. Envy squeezed his eyes shut, obviously remembering something he wanted to forget. "I was stuck in Limbo. All alone in a black void and I couldn't see, hear or feel anything. Dunno how I didn't lose my mind. I would have preferred hell over that. Can't be worse than my shitty life. But this...I wouldn't wish that on anyone, not even that arsehole Colonel, who set me on fire. That's how fucked up it was."

I bit my lip. If Envy said _that_ , it had to be awful indeed. The Sin took a deep breath, then mustered his usual wicked grin.

"Alright! Now that this depressing shit is out of the way, time for your gymnastic lesson!", he cried too cheerfully, when Al and Diligence approached them to partake.

"Pay attention!", Envy laughed and leapt onto the device next to the balancing rope. "Today we will start practising on the high bar! Watch, I will show you a few simple moves."

I drifted off after ten minutes, when I saw that Patience was training with Winry and Mrs. Bradley nearby. Intently I kept an eye on my wife. It was obvious that she was having trouble following the moves Patience showed, but the boy was...well, patient as an angel. He made breaks when she got too tired. But Winry was doing her best and pushed herself to the limit, just like she had always used to. I was about to stand up, walk over and tell her not to push herself too much, when Patience put a hand on her shoulder, said something and Winry nodded. Mrs. Bradley said something of her own and the Virtue turned to her, showing her some moves she could do, while he took care of Winry. I sighed in relief.

"Uh, brother?" Al's voice was startling me in my train of thoughts.

"What?", I asked in annoyance.

Al pointed to the high bar and now I finally noticed that Envy was standing right in front of me, his flawless face taut with anger. The proximity of the black-haired homunculus made me jump back at least two meters. "Holy shit!"

Envy approached me yet again and grabbed me by the collar, pulling me down to his eye level. "As endearing as your concern about your oh-so-beloved _wife_ is", he snarled in a dangerously low voice, "During gymnastics, I expect your eyes to be on _me_ and me alone! Got it, Fullmetal?!"

I gulped and nodded.

Envy's facial features relaxed and he smiled amiably. "Good. Now, if you please would come to the high bar and show us the moves I just demonstrated?"

I groaned. "Oh shit..."

My "teacher" smirked: "That's what you get for not paying attention, ex-pipsqueak!"

I turned around to see Al give me a pitying look and Diligence laugh up her sleeve.

Well, this was going to be just wonderful!

When Envy's lesson was finished, I had the king of cramps in my stomach and my flesh leg. Al and Diligence on the other hand were just fine, probably because _they_ had been paying attention.

"You really don't need to baby Winry all the time", Al said, "You should have paid attention instead. That's Envy after all, you know better than to let your guard down around him!"

"He let you off easy too", Diligence added, "His face screamed bloody murder when he noticed that you were looking somewhere else. And even more so when he saw _where_ you were looking."

Don't doubt that...holy crap, that'd been scary. Not even his giant form had scared me like that...

To my great distress, the next lesson I had with Envy too, but this time Lust was the teacher. Pain tolerance usually consisted of Lust hurting her students to see how long it would take until they screamed or their face twisted in pain. At least here, my ego was a little inflated, because Envy was always the first to scream in pain (if he ever participated, that is – he usually skipped). After so many lessons it took longer, but I still always won. It was strange that even after being burnt several times, the shapeshifter still couldn't bear pain. Lust said that Envy was algophobic.

Charity's relaxation training always did me a world of good. The cramps from Envy's gymnastic lesson were still there and after the Virtue was finished with her lesson, I felt reborn.

Mei Chang's self defence training was surprisingly useful. I remembered the drill of the military, but the Xingese princess knew some very good moves that also were simple to learn. Too bad that these lessons usually ended up with me on the floor because either Kindness, Lust or Mei had brought me down. Girl power? Oh wait, Kindness wasn't a girl – what was she anyway? It was the same problem as with Envy and it drove me insane.

Chastity's combat training was worse than the military drills, or at least how I remembered them. Perhaps I was just getting rusty. And again with Envy! Yep, that deranged palm tree shared way too many lessons with me! God, I hated Fridays!

Chastity was as relentless as Wrath when it came to combat and she didn't show any mercy. Combat was the only training where they were allowed to use weapons and for the lack of an automail or alchemy to transmute it into a weapon, I chose a blade. Envy of course could turn his very arms into blades. Needless to say that the Sin usually had the upper hand in battle, at least against me. The virginal Virtue was a supreme fighter, just like Diligence and she easily fended off both our attacks while yelling instructions at us:

"Edward, don't just rely on your eyes!"

"Envy, go into the offensive! The _offensive!_ "

At least today, she had a few nice words to spare at the end of the lesson: "I see, you're making progress. But Edward, you still focus way too much on what you see. You have to use your ears, your skin, your taste, your whole body to sense every threat around you. If you only depend on your sight, someone could easily attack you from behind or render you helpless by blinding you.

You, Envy, are still too evasive, too focussed on avoiding injuries. I have never seen you go into the offensive. You can't fool me, I can tell when someone is holding back and you are. You don't give it your all, especially when you go against Edward."

Huh? Especially against me?!

I looked over to Envy, but the Sin's face was an emotionless mask. The only evidence was the shaking fists at Envy's sides. He was trying to hide his anger.

Chastity sheathed her sword. "Training is over for today. Tomorrow morning, we will have a private training session, just the three of us. Seven o' clock, I expect you to be punctual and no back talk."

Envy threw her a death glare, then stomped towards the house.

I sighed at his stubbornness and turned to Chastity: "What did you mean, whey you said he holds back especially against me?"

"Exactly what I said. It's obvious that he hates fighting, but he seems to be especially hesitant around you." She smirked: "I wonder how it would be if he went against that pervert Flame Alchemist without his gloves. I bet he would take a sadistic pleasure in roughing up Roy Mustang."

I chuckled: "You don't like him either, huh?"

The blonde homunculus scoffed: "Are you kidding? I'm Chastity, what do you think I feel towards a man who wants to make all women in the military wear mini-skirts?!"

"Point taken." I rubbed the back of my neck. "I'll spend the rest of the day with Winry."

"You do that. You earned your rest. And Edward?"

I turned around to see Chastity smile sadly, an expression I had never seen on her before.

"Spend some more time with your children, okay? They need their father once in a while."

I felt a pang of guilt, understanding what the Virtue meant. I nodded.

 **Diligence's rigorous training program. She's a sadist. Imagine having PE on olympics-level all day long. Then you kinda get this. Be glad she's not your PE teacher. Or Envy. Or Lust. Or Chastity. XD**


	18. Why won't you

**Chapter sixteen: Why won't you...**

*Winry's POV*

My health is deteriorating. Thanks to Patience's training, I had recovered just a little, but most importantly, it had made me feel alive again. But now the sickness is starting to take its toll on me. I have lost a lot of weight and sometimes I have trouble speaking. Ed is growing more and more desperate. I even heard him talk to the Virtues about healing me with one of their red stones to save my life. Kindness had agreed, but only with my permission. She had explained that some people didn't want to be healed by alchemy and that performing healing alchemy on someone unwilling could leave them in a worse state than before. Ed obviously didn't understand that. He still doesn't. So he agreed, thinking that I would gladly take the offered opportunity. I know I should. I only have one life, but lately...I'm not sure it's worth it anymore. I'm grateful that Kindness allowed me to have a say in this, because my answer is:

"...No."

Two letters.

One simple word.

And I could see on Ed's face that his world was crashing down.

"W-why not?", he choked.

I didn't answer. I just stared out of the window sadly.

"Mum?" I looked at my son and daughter, who stood at my bedside.

I smiled sadly and weakly stretched out a hand, so they could take it. Van did so, but Nina just stood there and glared at me.

"Why won't you take the medicine the doctor wants to give you?", she asked.

I sighed sadly, but didn't answer.

"Why don't you say anything?", she cried angrily, "Do you not want to get well? Why?"

I said nothing. I couldn't say anything.

"Don't you love us?"

This question hurt, it hurt so much. My eyes filled with tears and they rolled down my cheeks.

Nina looked up guiltily, then climbed onto the bed to cuddle me. "I'm sorry, mum."

I still said nothing. I couldn't.

I could only wrap an arm around my daughter.

Al sat by my bedside. "Winry", he said sadly, "Do you remember all the fun we had together? All the adventures?"

I nodded weakly. Of course I remembered, how could I ever forget?

"And all this has to stop now? Winry...why won't you let them heal you with that stone? Brother and the children need you. They can't grow up without a mother. Sure, Mei and I will be there. But that won't be the same. One day we'll have children of our own and with our nephew and niece to take care of...I don't think Ed can do it alone. And then there is brother's automail. Who will always fix it, if not you? You know he still keeps wearing it out. And remember all the times you knocked him out with a wrench because he broke it?"

The memory made me smile, even though it was for just a second.

"You're my best friend, Winry", Al said softly. "You're the sister I never had. I don't want to see you die. No one does. So why?"

All I could do was look at him sadly.

Hohenheim stood in front of my bed with a sombre expression.

"I will not ask you why you refuse treatment, child", he said softly. "I assume that you have your reasons. And whether you tell anyone or not is your decision."

At least my father-in-law accepted it. I nodded gratefully.

 **This will be the only chapter written out of Winry's POV. Sorry, guys. I know she deserves better.**


	19. That is a problem

**Chapter seventeen: That...is a problem.**

*Edward's POV*

"Morning", Kindness yawned as she came downstairs. She had overslept, because the day before had been late. She was a doctor after all, hers was a busy job.

"Good morning!", Diligence, who was running hot water for the dishes, answered. "Kindness, could you please go down to the gate to get the post for us?"

"Sure", Kindness said and left the house to get the post. When he returned, everyone was in the salon, waiting for the daily announcement. It became quieter, when he came into the room.

"We got a lot of letters today!", he called and handed them to everyone.

"These are for you, Mrs. Bradley." She smiled and thanked her kindly.

Kindness looked at her husband and Selim apologetically. "No letters for you two, I'm afraid. People think that you're dead and currently it wouldn't be a good idea to change that."

"Of course, it's quite alright", Bradley said nonchalantly.

"It's okay", Selim assured, but he sounded sad.

The Virtue went on.

"These are for you, Alphonse and Mei." They eagerly grabbed the letters.

"This one is for you, Mrs. Elric", she placed one in Winry's lap.

"This one is for you, Greed – from emperor Ling Yao." Greed grabbed it and yelled: "YEAH!"

"Those are yours, Diligence." The ginger homunculus picked them up and frowned at the stack.

"You got the most letters, Charity." The blonde woman shrugged: "Of course I did."

"For you, Chastity." The stern virgin took them and scowled after seeing the addressors.

"Those are for me", Kindness said and put some of the envelopes on a drawer.

"And last but not least", he handed me a red envelope, "This is for you."

I sent my children outside to play, before I had a look at the letter, which turned out to be a good idea: "FUHRER ROY MUSTANG?! THAT SLIMY, ARROGANT, SMUG BASTARD OF A-"

"Brother, what's the matter?"

"Ed, why are you screaming?"

Al and Winry sat on the couch, looking confused. I resisted the temptation to crush the letter in my hands and instead handed it to Al. He read the letter and frowned. "That...is a problem."

 **Will there be trouble? There will be trouble.**


	20. Fucking invitation

**Chapter eighteen: Fucking invitation**

"What's the matter?" Charity asked, just coming downstairs from the first floor, joining Kindness. Al gave them the letter without another word. The blond homunculi read it and frowned even more than Al did.

"Well, shit!", Charity sighed and ruffled her curly hair. "You're right, Al, that is a huge problem."

"What is going on?", Winry asked in annoyance. "Don't leave me out of this, if it makes you so upset!"

Kindness gave her the letter. She read it and her face became sad.

"They want me to come too..."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Elric, but that is out of question", Kindness objected. "The long drive to Central would be too risky. It might damage your health more than it already is."

"I know. But still...I would have loved to go there..." Her sad face broke my heart.

"I understand", the Virtue assured her gently. "Who wouldn't want to have some fun and meet old friends one more time?"

"But they want Ed to come with a partner. He won't come without me. And none other than me."

That was true. Winry was the only one for me and it was either her or no one.

Charity closed her eyes. "That is so sweet and yet so sad..."

I was overcome by anger at the situation and crushed a vase.

Winry promptly threw her wrench at me. "Chastity will make me replace that one, dammit!"

When I recovered from the attack, I stood up, rubbing my head. Then I turned from pissed to insane murderous. "I'm going to call that bastard right now!"

Then I stomped off to abuse the hell out of the telephone.

Kindness helped Winry into her wheelchair and pushed her back into her room, then came back.

From the kitchen, I heard Charity say: "So this event is mandatory...why would the Fuhrer ask two former state alchemists to come all the way from here to attend some grand ball in the military HQ in Central? That makes no sense! How does he know our address anyway?"

"We had to inform him that we were moving the Bradleys here, remember?", Kindness pointed out.

Then, after giving through my codes and shit, the bastard finally answered the phone.

"Hello, Fullmetal. What do you want?"

My key to blow up. "WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT STUPID INVITATION?!"

"What's up with it? It's a mandatory event."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S MANDATORY!"

"You heard me. You're obliged to come. And bring a partner."

"MY WIFE IS FUCKING SICK! SHE CAN'T COME!"

"For Truth's sake, Fullmetal, come with another partner then. It's an order."

"NO! I'M NOT COMING WITHOUT WINRY! AND LIKE HELL I WILL COME WITH ANOTHER PARTNER!"

"Elric, what part of 'it's an order' do you not understand?" Oh no, he's not giving me that!

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF IT'S AN ORDER! I'M NOT A STATE ALCHEMIST ANYMORE! WINRY CAN'T GO ALL THE LONG WAY TO CENTRAL AND I'M COMING WITH HER OR NOT AT ALL!"

"I will not say it again. If you don't call me back within a week and tell me that you will come of your own accord, I will send someone to pick you up and I will choose your partner."

Oh no, he wouldn't dare!

"FUCK YOU! YOU'RE GONNA GET IT, BASTARD!"

*Al's POV*

Kindness put a finger in her ears. "Good Gate, he's _loud_!"

"Tell me about it", a raspy voice agreed from the back of the room, making us all jump.

"How long have you been sitting there?", I gasped, trying to recover my breath.

Envy shut the book he'd been reading: "The whole time! Seriously, can't I even read a book outside of my room in peace?! Miss Oh-So-Pure" (probably Chastity) "said I needed to come out and interact with y'all and now I have to witness this?! What is all the commotion about anyway?"

I sighed: "Well, since you heard all that, I might as well tell you: the Fuhrer himself has sent us an invitation to a military ball in Central, to the anniversary of our victory on Promised Day. Edward and I are to come with a female partner of our choosing. And our presence is mandatory – _especially_ our presence. I think you can guess why."

"Yeah, figures!", Envy scoffed, "Of course the heroes have to be there!"

He said the word 'hero with such scorn that it made me uncomfortable, before he asked: "And the new Fuhrer is who?"

Charity scratched her head: "Well, King Bradley was succeeded by General Grumman, but he died a few years ago, now Roy Mustang is Fuhrer."

A vein on Envy's forehead popped. "What? That bastard is Fuhrer?!"

I nodded: "Yup. Just like he always wanted. And he's in a relationship with Hawkeye." I grinned. "No women in mini-skirts for him!"

"Wow, that's _so_ comforting!", Envy hissed sarcastically.

I looked at him compassionately. Brother had told me what happened to Envy and it was obvious that the memory was painful for the homunculus. For whom would it not be?

"Look at the bright side", I tried to cheer him up, "You don't have to come and see him, right? You can stay here at home with the other homunculi. We'll persuade Ed to take another woman along, Mustang won't find out about you and no one gets hurt."

"Yeah. That does sound nice actually." Then he turned his back on us.

Kindness looked like she wanted to comfort her opposite Sin, but before she could do so, brother stomped back into the living room.

"That fucking arsehole!", he hissed, "I'm going to kill him! Take Winry's wrench and knock his brains out with it!"

"I thought he's your friend or something?", Envy asked tiredly from behind.

"He is", Ed fumed, "But holy crap, he pisses me off!"

Envy finally turned over again to look at him with a bored expression: "You insult your friends, yell at them and make death threats towards them? Weird way to show your friendship. Ugh, I really don't get you humans. You just don't make any sense to me."

Ed tried to relax by breathing deeply. "How long have you been sitting there anyway?", he asked, in a much calmer, softer voice.

"Since breakfast. I just wanted to read this book here, because Miss Oh-So-Pure said I shouldn't spend all my free time sitting in my room."

Brother dropped onto the couch and huffed: "Just be glad you don't have to go there-"

"OF COURSE I'M GLAD!", Envy suddenly shrieked, leapt up and grabbed him by the shirt, "DO YOU SERIOUSLY BELIEVE THAT ANYTHING IN THE WORLD COULD GET ME TO FACE THAT PYROMANIAC BASTARD AGAIN?"

Charity and I were about to interfere, but Kindness stopped us.

*Edward's POV*

I was shocked by the outburst for just a second. Looking into Envy's wide amethyst eyes, I saw a mixture of rage and...fear?

I mentally scolded myself. Of course he was afraid! Bastard Colonel had burnt him to a fucking crisp and then nearly squished him under his boot! Why wouldn't he be upset?

I felt guilty. Guilty for making Envy, a psychotic, homicidal, shapeshifting homunculus, who had shot my friend Maes Hughes and started a civil war by killing a little girl, hurt.

I really have arrived at rock bottom, haven't I?

I stood up, took the pale hands that were grabbing the collar of my shirt and removed them carefully, then hugged the shocked teen.

Envy was stunned, obviously no one has ever been so gentle with him before.

"I'm sorry", I said softly, "I didn't mean to remind you of what happened. I'm sorry that I made you upset."

The homunculus in my arms calmed down and slowly, very slowly, relaxed. After a few awkward minutes, he wriggled himself free.

"Okay, okay, I get it, now let's stop this! I'm gonna be sick from all the sap here!" Envy picked up his abandoned book. "Seriously, what the fuck was that? Are you insane?"

"Yeah, probably. But _you_ definitely are", I retorted.

Envy smirked: "And damn proud of it! Now, I'll be up in my room! I want to read this damn book in peace!" Then he went upstairs to the second floor.

I couldn't help but be relieved that a bit of the old Envy was back thanks to me.

I grinned and turned to the others. "And the situation is saved!"

Al smiled lopsidedly: "That was sweet of you, brother, but we still have the party to worry about."

 _Aaand there goes my good mood. Fucking invitation._

 **Mustang: Ain't I a stinker? XD**

 **Me: You sure are. But the fandom loves you anyway.**

 **Ed: I'm gonna kill you so hard.**


	21. The most ingenious plan

**Chapter nineteen: The most ingenious plan**

"So what now?", I sighed. "They will force me to go there, but I can't go without Winry. I just can't. And she can't come with me...what do I do?"

Charity sighed: "Well, you have to take a partner. Listen, I don't think your wife will mind if you take someone else. You can ask one of us-"

"No!", I barked, startling the Virtue.

I sighed: "I'm sorry. Thank you for the offer, but I can't accept it. I love Winry and it's either her or no one for me."

"I'm afraid, she is in no condition to make the long trip to Central", Kindness said sadly, "I'm sorry to make this so hard for you – I understand your plight, I really do."

"You could pretend to be sick", Al suggested. "The flu. Then they will leave you alone."

"Oh no", I growled, "I promised the bastard an arse-kicking and he'll get it in front of everyone!"

I dropped onto the couch again and let my head hang down. "So, any more suggestions?"

Everyone sat in deep thought.

After what seemed like hours but was in fact fifteen minutes, Charity jumped up: "I have the most ingenious plan! Why didn't I think of it earlier?!"

"Oh yeah?", I commented drily, "Let's hear it then. I'm all ears."

"Winry will stay here, but you can take her to the celebration anyway!"

I looked confused.

Al too for a few seconds, then he got it. "Oh, I get it! You mean someone else would impersonate Winry, so she can rest here and Ed can still say that he took Winry to the ball, right?"

Charity nodded excitedly: "Exactly!"

"I don't know...", I scratched my head. The only candidates to do such a thing would be Envy and Kindness, since they were shapeshifters. But there was no way in hell they would be able to persuade Envy. Kindness however...

The shapeshifting Virtue frowned. "If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, no. Winry Elric needs medical supervision at all times, so as her doctor I always need to be near, especially at night. Besides, you know how I feel about impersonating other people. That's Envy's forte."

Why, thanks a lot. Aren't you supposed to be the incarnation of kindness?!

Al groaned: "And just how do you think we're going to get him into this? It's not just Mustang who will be there, it'll be Hawkeye and Scar too! I bet Dr. Marcoh will be there as well. And I'll be bringing Mei. Haven't you seen how Envy blew up earlier? We'll never convince him to do it!"

"Convince me to do what?"

The Sin was standing on the stairs, looking at us questioningly.

Envy narrowed his eyes suspiciously, when he saw the way we looked at him.

"What? Why you lookin' at me like that?"

*Envy's POV*

Two days.

That's how long they needed to convince me to cooperate with them. The Virtues and the other Sins together had tried to change my mind for these two days, but it had only taken a one hour long talk with the Elric family for me to give in. _Her_ infinitely sad face, the puppy pout faces of the children, Alphonse's reasoning and the desperate way Edward pleaded with me had finally broken my resistance.

On the third day, I sat together with Edward, _her_ , their children, Alphonse and Mei Chang in _her_ room, glaring at all of them. "I hate you so much."

I went through my hair with one hand, sighing frustratedly. "Okay, fine. I'll do it. You better appreciate that, because this is going to be hell for me! Geez, the things I do – uwah?!"

I was hugged by five people at once, while _she_ lay on her bed, smiling gratefully.

I tensed up in Edward's arms.

He was doing it again...this felt...nice.

I resisted the temptation to just relax into the embrace and pushed them off.

"Yeah, yeah! You're welcome, don't push it!", I huffed and glared at the ex-pipsqueak.

 _The things I do for you, ex-pipsqueak...but don't get too comfortable. This is just repayment for you trying to save me...for understanding me. Nothing more._

I addressed _her_ : "Well, in order to impersonate you properly, I need to know more about you. So far I only know that you're the pips- Edward's wife and automail-mechanic, that you've known each other for about your whole lives, that you're a mech nerd..." I smirked, "...and that you like to smack him with that wrench of yours."

Edward groaned.

 _She_ requited my grin and produced a big wrench from under her cover. "It's my lucky wrench", she croaked. "Try not to kill anyone with it when you go there."

Whoa. That was a big wrench. She threw _that thing_ at people? Sweet!

"Are you kidding?!", Edward freaked out. "You try to kill me with that thing all the time!"

 _She_ glared: "Yeah, because you mistreat your automail! Do you know how much work I put into it? And you never bother to maintain it!"

"Well, not everyone can be a gearhead like you!", Ed snapped.

 _She_ was weak, but she didn't need much force to throw her wrench at Ed's head.

I snickered, this was just too funny. "Do they do that often?", I asked the others.

"Yeah", the little runt nodded, "They do that all the time."

"Always have", Alphonse chuckled. "That probably won't change as long as they live."

"She should do it more often!", the Xingese girl giggled.

When the Elrics returned, they saw two _hers_ , one lying in her sickbed and one sitting in the wheelchair next to it, that was me. _She_ was too weak to talk for long, so she gave me hints and short sentences and I guessed the rest, that was our conversation game.

"...so you wear your earrings like that, because you like them on Hawkeye so much?"

 _She_ nodded.

"Huh. I knew I have seen that somewhere. So you two are friends?"

Another nod.

"Y'know...last time I saw her she shot me a few times. Just to keep Mustang from killing me off the next moment. It was fucking confusing. What's with that name of hers anyway."

"It's her family name", Edward's voice attracted my attention – I hadn't heard him come in. "Not a nickname to flatter herself, like you used to think."

"Oh?" I morphed back to himself.

Edward nodded. "Yeah. Anyway, how far are you two?"

I smirked: "Oh, I just learned a lot about her and you – like your hate for milk or that one time she rejected you as a child, because you were too short!"

Alphonse tried to stifle his laugh. He tried. Very hard. And failed.

Edward gaped at his _wife_ in the sickbed."Winry, how could you?!"

 _She_ shrugged and her evil grin matched my smirk.

"You two are evil!"

My grin widened.

Perhaps _she's_ not so bad. I could get used to her.

 **In which Charity has an idea and Envy agrees to be tortured for whatever reason.**


	22. Well, here comes hell

**Chapter twenty: Well, here comes hell**

*Edward's POV*

The drive to Central was quiet.

Charity was driving, Al was on the passenger seat, Mei, Envy and me were sitting in the back. Charity wore a headband to hide the ouroboros on her forehead and the uniform of a nurse to hide the blue nodes on her body. On her chest was a name sign that said:

 _Miss Michelle A. Angel, home nurse_.

Envy was in Winry's shape and was now looking out of the front window with a sombre expression. I could see how the shapeshifter was growing more tense by every hour. We would be in Central soon and then-

"We're almost there", Charity said from the front. "I can see the lights of the city."

Envy stiffened and I could see that the Sin's hands were shaking lightly. I took the pale, bony hand that was Winry's and squeezed it lightly. He looked confused, then relaxed, clasped my hand and leaned against my shoulder. I tensed, now confused of my own. This was Envy, seeking body contact with me?!

"I'm your wife right now", Envy whispered in Winry's voice. "Remember? We have to act like we love each other."

He was right. I had to pretend that he's Winry...I had to pretend that this fucking palm tree is my Winry! I had to do all the things I usually did with her in public...with him! Oh crap, this was going to be so awkward!

I blushed, when I thought of all the things Winry and me had used to do in public. Holding hands, cuddling, holding each other, hand kisses, pecks on the cheek, forehead or hair...

To make the act believable, I would have to do all of these. Oh god...I'd have to kiss Envy! Well, not on the mouth and he looked like Winry, but still! Shiiiiiiit! I couldn't believe Winry had agreed to this charade – she must have known! Fuck, I felt like I was cheating on her! I would beg her forgiveness when we came home, oh crap...

" _Hey, Ed!_ " Charity's voice startled me.

"Huh?"

" _Don't say anything. I'm talking to you mentally, so you will have to think your answers."_

" _You're invading my mind?!"_

" _Calm down, I will respect your privacy. I just didn't want to discuss this out loud – because honestly, do you have the faintest idea how loud just your thoughts are?!_ "

Well, that was awkward.

" _Okay, what do you want?"_

" _You're wondering about how you will handle the PDA with Envy, right? Don't worry, you will be just fine – he is a good actor and you will just have to pretend he is her."_

" _You make it sound like it's easy."_

" _Listen, I understand you, I really do."_

" _Of course you do, you're reading my fucking mind!"_

" _No, seriously. I'm over 400 years old and have worked with and for people all my life, I have been in this situation often enough. I can do more than just read your mind, I sense the emotions of others and they affect me._

 _But anyway, Ed, you need to suck it up tonight. I just warned Envy that you two will be forced to act like a married couple, which includes light kisses, caresses and 'I love you's. He won't freak out when you kiss him. Besides, it's not like you have to make out in front of everyone. Envy still has to pretend to be sick after all."_

I could practically hear the smirk in her mind voice.

" _Geez, thanks a lot",_ I thought sourly _, "Way to make me feel better about this!"_

" _You're not cheating on Winry",_ Charity answered mentally _, "It's not cheating if you're loyal to her and if she knows about everything that's going to happen tonight. Stop beating yourself up all the time. It won't get you anywhere. I know that you're afraid, but trust me – Envy is much more afraid than all of us together. But we'll get through this, I've done it countless times before and we'll cut it short, for 'Winry's' sake. It'll be okay."_

I nodded and smiled weakly.

*Envy's POV*

When we arrived in front of Central Command, I was shivering more violently than before. Much as I loathed to admit it, I was afraid. The memory of the pain, the hellish, unspeakable pain of Mustang's flames made me feel like I'd been dumped in ice cold water, which made me tremble even more. I felt a panic attack approach. Oh no, I couldn't panic, not now, pull yourself together Envy, calm down, get a grip on yourself, everything is fine, go to your happy place, think of something nice, like Mustang's blood pooling on the floor, haha, that actually does make me feel a lot better, such a shame I can't just kill that arsehole, oh my god, he fucking set me on fire and stepped on me and now I have to face him and pretend nothing of that ever happened, oh no, I went there again, oh my god, help!

"Envy, calm down." Edward's gentle voice was strangely soothing for my nerves. "You can do this. We all can do this. And Charity and I will be with you all the time. Okay?"

He was still holding my hand...he did know that we didn't need to do that on the way here, right?

I nodded. "Yeah. But-" I glared at the other four, "You totally didn't just see me freak out, get it?!"

"Who didn't we just see freak out?", Goldilocks asked nonchalantly, looking like the perfect poster child of confusion and innocence.

I smiled contentedly: "Good woman!"

The other four got out of the car and Charity got the wheelchair from the back.

I looked at Edward. The blond understood and lifted me out of the car. I just about managed to keep my face from blushing.

I'll never get used to him being taller than me.

But when he held me like that...it felt nice. If only he did that to the real me– ew, stop right there, Envy! You're _not_ getting sentimental over Edward fucking Elric!

It was time to begin my act of a terminally ill woman. A terminally ill woman married to _him_.

"Alright", I sighed, "Let's get this torture over with."

Alphonse and the Xingese brat went first, Charity carried the wheelchair up the stairway, while Edward carried me. I was _not_ enjoying being held and carried by Edward Elric of all the people. I wasn't!

When we reached the top, the blond placed me into the wheelchair Charity held ready and stepped behind me to push the chair with me in it into the building.

Alphonse showed the invitations to the guard, who looked them over. "Hmm...Edward and Alphonse Elric and partners. And what is that nurse doing here? I can't let her in!"

 _What the fuck?! Can't he see that I'm a poor sick woman?! I obviously need a nurse!_

"Excuse me", Charity replied sweetly, "I'm the nurse for the lady in the chair, who happens to be severely ill and therefore in need of permanent medical supervision, especially for an exhausting event like this one!"

The guard frowned: "If she's so ill, why she here?"

 _Oh great, he can't even form a proper sentence. Give me a break!_

Before Edward could blow up, she answered for him, still smiling sweetly: "Because she is his wife and he would never betray her by going with someone else. Besides, she needs to have some fun before her time comes, don't you agree? Anyway, she won't go anywhere without me having an eye on her, as it's my duty to take care of her. So, what now?"

The aura Goldilocks gave off went somewhere in-between "I'm a nurse and this is my patient, deal with it" and "Mess with me and I'll skin you and wipe the blood off the floor with your hide".

Wow...who knew that goody-two-shoes could be so intimidating – I mean I'd seen her manhandle some arsehole, but still...

It seemed to work on the guard, for he gulped and allowed her to accompany me and Edward Elric into the building.

"Thank you kindly", Charity said pleasantly and pushed the wheelchair inside.

But the look she threw at that bastard, whoa! If looks could kill...haha...if they could, I would only have eyes for that bastard tonight! I wouldn't take my eyes off him until he had died slowly and painfully. Damn, that thought felt good.

When we arrived in the hall where the ball was held, I closed my eyes for a moment.

Well, here comes hell...

 **In which Charity shows off her telepathic abilities to calm down Ed and Envy.**


	23. No, I'm not okay!

**Chapter twenty-one: No, I'm not okay!**

I'm not someone who can't handle large crowds. On the contrary. I'm a people person. I'd used to sit on roofs, watching the people below carry on with their daily lives, keeping an eye on a certain Fullmetal Alchemist all the while. I'd used to wear countless masks, impersonate other people, like I was doing now. I had been Father's agent back then, his Ultimate Mask. It had been my job, my purpose.

But Father is dead now.

What am I supposed to do?

Suddenly, I envied Greed, more so than ever, because he had been brave enough to go his own way, because he had never relied on anyone but himself, made his own decisions.

But even more I envied Kindness. Like me, Kindness was a shapeshifter, but like Greed, Kindness had gone her own way, along with the other Virtues. Like me, Kindness had to change her face when she was among other people. And yet, she remained herself. Dr. Ramiel G. Angel was still Kindness, still the friendly, compassionate person who inspired others to be kind. Kindness didn't pretend, she didn't need to, everything about her was inviting and trustworthy.

And I hated her for it. Yet at the same time I didn't.

That's the problem, you can't really hate Kindness. The blond homunculus listens to me, she understands me like only Edward Elric did. Charity has no prejudice or bias either, but that's not the same. She's not _my_ opposite Virtue, she's Greed's.

Speaking of Charity, the Goldilocks was currently pushing my wheelchair after Edward, who walked into the room like nobody's business, with a certain goal obviously on his mind.

Geez, behold that swag! Like a diva! Like the world is his! Man, these pants looked good on him...wait, what?! What the fuck was wrong with me?! I was supposed to hate that lowly little piece of crap! _Stop it! Stop staring at Edward Elric, dammit!_

"Thinking of something nice?", Charity snickered into my ear from behind.

I blushed. Bitch had read my mind again! "Shut up and stop reading my thoughts!", I hissed.

" _It's hard not to hear them"_ , Charity answered mentally.

" _Your thoughts just were pretty loud. Maybe you should learn to think quietly, instead of mentally yelling at yourself to stop staring at a certain alchemist..."_

Even her mental voice was snickering. It was really hard to remain sitting in the wheelchair instead of jumping up and strangling her. It wouldn't do anything anyway. She's a homunculus, just like me. Fuck her.

" _Try to calm down"_ , Charity's voice was more serious now, _"_ _We're about to meet a certain someone you love oh-so-much."_

" _Just when I was about to forget, you had to remind me?!"_

" _Sorry. Prepare yourself though – you'll have to smile."_

" _I know, just...fuck."_

" _It's only for a few hours and we'll cut it as short as possible. Just go back to thinking of something nice. Oh, over there they are!"_

Oh my god, here it comes!

Okay, I'm Winry Elric, née Rockbell, married to Edward Elric and mother of a son and daughter, I'm twenty-eight years old, I'm terminally ill and close to dying...

Shit, my hands were trembling! Although, maybe that would make my masquerade more believable – fuck, there was Mustang! Bastard looked as smug as ever. I wanted to kill him. Too bad I couldn't, because I'm not suicidal. Look at him, even on a ball he was sporting these fucking gloves.

There is Hawkeye – huh, she actually looks nice when she doesn't have that stony face on. She doesn't look like someone who could shoot me without batting an eye. But I guess I'm one to talk, aren't I?

I took a deep breath and resumed my act, before Mustang and Hawkeye could notice just how frightened I was.

Edward had noticed them too. With a grim expression he walked up to them, just as Mustang was looking over.

"Oh Fullmetal! So good to see you ag-" before he could finish his sentence, Edward had kicked him in the balls with full force. With his automail leg.

"Brother!", Al exclaimed.

"Edward!", Hawkeye scolded.

"Ed!", I scolded him, but on the inside I was laughing my ass off.

"Well, that felt good!", Edward growled, "Good to see you too, bastard!"

And my evening was made. Thanks a lot, ex-pipsqueak!

*Edward's POV*

Mustang clutched his balls and groaned: "What was that for?!"

"For making me bring my sick wife here, bastard!", I snarled back. "I told you I would never bring anyone else!"

"And who is the pretty girl pushing her wheelchair?"

 _Oh no, he's_ not _flirting with Charity in front of Hawkeye!_

"Her nurse! Duh! Did you think I would bring her here without medical supervision?"

"Ed..." I turned around to see 'Winry' lift her head slowly. 'Her' death glare made him gulp.

"How dare you misuse my automail like this", 'she' growled darkly.

I gulped again.

Holy shit, Envy was playing his act too well here. He sounded just like Winry!

To save my ass from being smacked again, I did what I always did to Winry: I pecked 'her' on the lips. Envy tensed up a little, but reciprocated the gesture.

Just like her...yup, way too much like her.

"I'm sorry, Win", I apologised, "I won't do it again."

Mustang chuckled: "I see, nothing has changed!"

"Of course it hasn't", Hawkeye said calmly. Then she smiled warmly and bent down to 'Winry's' eye level. "Hey, Winry. I'm happy to see you again."

I silently prayed that Envy kept playing his part perfectly and that nothing would give him away this time. To my relief, there was no treacherous glint or expression in the homunculus' eyes. He smiled back, raised a shaky hand and softly said: "Hey, Riza."

Hawkeye took it and shook it firmly, yet carefully. Then stood up to greet the young nurse who was pushing "Winry"'s chair. "So you're her nurse?"

"Yes, my name is Michelle Agape Angel and I accompany Mrs. Elric at the orders of her doctor, Dr. Ramiel Gratian Angel", Charity confirmed.

*Envy's POV*

"Michelle Angel?" Hawkeye's smile widened, just a little. "I've heard of you. You run several charity projects in all of Amestris, don't you?"

Charity grinned proudly: "Yes, that's me! Re-socialisation programs for ex-criminals, orphanages, poor kitchens, schools and homeless shelters and so on! Helping others is just my life and joy! My little brother is her doctor and asked me to take care of Mrs. Elric, because he has another patient to attend to, so here I am! He didn't want to allow her to be here, but I think that especially in this situation, she should be allowed to have some fun, don't you agree? Besides, I'm a trained nurse. I can effectively intervene, should something happen."

"That's logical", Hawkeye agreed, "And do you happen to want to use this event to gain new donors for your projects, Ms. Angel?"

Charity chuckled: "I would love to, but I won't have the time. For this evening my attention will be focussed on Mrs. Elric alone, just like my brother asked me to. Besides, due to her condition, we won't be able to stay for the whole party, only as long as her poor health allows."

I smiled gratefully at Charity, turning my head as far as my 'frailty' and position allowed.

On the inside though, I snorted.

Re-socialisation programs for ex-criminals? That explained it all...and wow, she lied like a pro!

In this moment, Alphonse and the bean girl joined us. Mustang and Hawkeye went to greet them, giving Edward, Charity and me the opportunity to sneak into a more secluded corner.

I relaxed and sank deeper into the chair. "Oh god...I thought...I almost..."

Nope. I was not whimpering. Not at all.

Edward soothingly stroked the blond hair that wasn't mine. "You're doing great."

Was I? Didn't feel like it to me.

"Take some deep breaths", Charity advised. "Al and Mei will be holding them off for long enough to catch our breaths, but not longer I'm afraid. I saw that we were the last guests to arrive, so they will have to greet no more people."

"Damn it", Edward muttered, "So he will come here and pester us again! Good that Riza is here, Truth knows it would be a lot worse without her!"

Figures...she and you have snapped him out of a vengeful frenzy after all, Edward.

"Ugh", the blond sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "This will be a shitty party."

*Edward's POV*

Charity was right: it didn't take long for Roy and Riza to return to us, together with Al and Mei this time. Soon we were holding a decent conversation for old time's sake (I noticed that Envy said as little as possible, only interjecting something here and there).

"...So the three of us will be going home as soon as Winry feels unwell. Al and Mei can stay for the rest of the party, but we-"

"We won't stay without you", Al said firmly, "How can we have fun here, when we know that Winry's health is acting up and you're worried sick? We can't."

"Exactly!", Mei agreed. "We're a family! If one of us is sick, we will all go home."

Charity smiled. "This is heart-warming, really. How many people don't have a family half as good as this one!", she told Riza and Roy and they nodded sadly, knowing first hand what she meant.

I found myself agreeing silently and somehow knew that in his mind, Envy was doing the same.

*Envy's POV*

The conversation was long, they had so many memories to share. I wasn't a a part of them. What I supplied were the memories of someone else and I hated it.

With my fellow Sins, I can't talk about good ol' times, we're not that close and there are no fond memories anyway.

The Virtues are a tight-knit group, they always have something to talk about with each other.

It was funny how among all these people, I still felt like I was all alone.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, I had to hear Mustang talk about – oh no, he was _so_ not talking about how Lust had died!

Hearing the man who had burned her to death talk about it made my blood boil.

 _SHUT UP, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UUUUP!_

"Winry?"

Hawkeye's voice was full of concern and startled me almost. "Winry, are you okay?"

I hadn't noticed that I was shivering.

I smiled weakly and nodded: "I'm fine. Just a little cold."

"Do you want to go home, Win?", Ed asked worriedly.

Oh yes, please! Let's go home and never face that arsehole again...wait, home?! Chastity's house wasn't my home! It was just...a temporary place to stay. Nothing more.

"...No. Let's stay...just a little longer."

Damn you, Envy.

"Are you sure?"

His concern for me was kinda cute...even if it was supposed to be for _her._

"Yes."

Edward frowned: "Okay. But tell me when you want to go home, okay?"

I nodded slowly. I could do this. It was just a party. I would only have to bear Mustang's presence for a few hours. Hah! No problem for me, I'm Envy, Envy the Jealous! I wouldn't chicken out! Strange that my pride hadn't kicked in until now.

Turned out that talking to _her_ had been a pretty good idea on my part, since I was able to recount every memory especially Alphonse and Hawkeye mentioned and even recount some of my own. I actually had some fun, despite being around the person I hated most.

However, suddenly Mustang suggested to get some food from the buffet table. Edward, the Xingese and Alphonse agreed.

 _What? Come on, you can't do this to me! You said you would be with me!_

Edward bent down to my eye level.

"Do you want something, Win? I'll get it for you."

She liked sweets. Lucky me, I wanted some.

"Can I have something sweet?", I whispered with _her_ voice. "And get me these automail blueprints I saw earlier."

Ed looked pretty confused, much to my satisfaction. "Automail blueprints? I didn't see any..."

"There were northern automail blueprints at the entrance", Charity supplied. "The engineers and mechanics from Briggs brought them to advertise them."

"Oh, okay. I'll get some for you, gearhead!" He pecked me on the cheek (I couldn't help the blush on my face), then left with Mustang, Mei and Al to get food for their whole group and the blueprints for _her_.

Hawkeye looked after them, then said to Charity: "Don't you want to get something for yourself, Miss Angel?"

"I can't leave my patient alone", Charity objected, much to my relief.

Hawkeye smiled: "Don't worry, I'm with her. Besides, the table is nearby, you can always have an eye on us."

Oh my god, no!

Goldilocks looked contemplative for a moment (what was there to contemplate?), before turning to me and crouching down in front of my wheelchair. "Do you think, you will be fine, Mrs. Elric? I will be back in a moment."

 _Nooo! Don't leave me here, not with her!_

"Yes, I'll be fine."

What the fuck was wrong with me...did I have a death wish I didn't know about?

" _Don't worry, I will be nearby and keep an eye on you"_ , Charity replied soothingly, before turning to Hawkeye: "I will be back in a second, but should something happen meanwhile, please give me a sign, so I can be there immediately."

Hawkeye nodded and Goldilocks hurried away to snatch herself a plate. That betrayer!

"So", Hawkeye began, "How have things been lately? How are you?"

"As fine as I can be, I guess."

"How is Ed taking it?", the woman asked.

"Not so well. Probably worse than I do. He's too stubborn to cry...but it's my children I'm most worried about."

"I understand", Hawkeye said gently, "Edward won't be the same when you're gone and you're worried that he won't be able to parent the kids properly?"

I nodded, biting my lip, like I actually gave a damn.

Hawkeye put a hand on that bony shoulder that wasn't mine and rubbed it gently. It felt kinda nice. "Don't worry, everything will be fine. Al and Mei are there too after all. Listen, there is something I meant to ask you..."

But before she could finish whatever question she had wanted to ask me, Charity and the others came back with their food. Perfect timing.

"Did anything happen while we were gone?", Goldilocks asked.

We shook our heads.

"Where is Mei?", she asked Alphonse, who shrugged: "She saw Scar and Dr. Marcoh and went up to talk to them. This might take a while."

Perfect. Mustang wasn't enough, these two bastards had to be here too! Whoohoo. Joy, joy!

I did my best to ignore the fact that two more people I hated were there and concentrated on

Edward, who was showing me the blueprints he had acquired. I marvelled at them with stars in my eyes, that is, I pretended to. Truth was, I didn't understand a fucking thing drawn on them.

"I brought you the blueprints you wanted", the alchemist said gently and put them away into the bag attached to the wheelchair.

"And a cinnamon bun." That one was placed in my hand. I licked my lips – now that was something I could be enthusiastic about for real! It was hard to resist the temptation to gobble it up whole. Instead I took slow little nibbles, savouring every bite.

I wondered if _she_ would be happy when we gave her the blueprints. Hah...that had been my idea! And if _she_ was happy, he will be happy too – wonder if that would win me his favour – oh my god, I'm doing it again! Why would I care if Edward liked me or not?

Meanwhile he was staring at Charity's plate. She had got herself some shrimp salad, strawberries with vanilla sauce (I wanted them!), orange juice and...

"Milk?! You drink cow juice?! You monster! I can't believe I let you take care of Winry!"

I almost laughed – one would think the pipsqueak had gotten over that!

Charity scoffed: "Oh go away, you! It's not like you have to drink it, Mr. Elric!"

Mr. Elric...I don't like it when he gets called that, it makes him sound old. Although...he will be thirty in a few years, won't he? Why does the thought hurt me? He's human, of course he'll grow old...I don't want that. If only...if only what? I'm so confused...he makes me so confused...why. Just what is wrong with me?

"So", Mustang turned to Charity, "You are Michelle Angel, the founder of the Caritas organisation? I've seen you in Ishval, haven't I?"

I looked up. She had been in Ishval? Huh...of course she had been, why was I surprised...

Charity's sweet smile suddenly became cool. "Yes, we have met. I was introduced to you ten years ago, when you were there to see the institutions I had set up for the Ishvalans. You came to see the rebuilding measures to fix all the damage you Amestrians have done."

"Are you not Amestrian?", Hawkeye asked curiously.

Charity's smile became friendlier again. "It's my nationality, but I don't consider myself Amestrian and neither do my siblings. You see, we have Xerxian ancestry and take great pride in that."

Huh...weird to hear the word 'pride' out of a Virtue's mouth...she's a smooth liar though, I gotta give her that...wait, what's up with Mustang, why is he staring at her like that?! I thought he's together with Hawkeye!

Mustang scratched his head. "Well, that explains the colour of your eyes."

"Oh? I'm surprised that you noticed, Fuhrer Mustang, busy as you were with staring at my legs. Seriously, stop it, that's creepy. Also, your girlfriend is standing right next to you."

Ohhhhh, damn! Do you want some ice for that burn, Flame Alchemist? Who could have known that the Good Samaritan could be so savage!

I almost burst into laughter, but managed to cover it up as a cough, which made Charity turn to me and bend down to my eye level, before she could start an argument with the Fuhrer in front of everyone. "Mrs. Elric, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Michelle", I answered slowly and coughed lightly, "My throat...is just itchy."

"Michelle" offered me some of her orange juice and keeping up my charade, I drank it. Huh...I hadn't realised that I was thirsty. The sweet, fruity liquid tasted delicious and felt good in my throat. I drank greedily and emptied the glass quickly.

That was her juice...oh, who cares!

Luckily, Goldilocks didn't mind. "Feeling better?", she asked compassionately. I swear, she and Kindness are so similar. But then, as much as I hate to admit it, so are Greed and I.

I actually did feel better after her savagery towards Mustang and that delicious juice.

That is, until I heard Mustang and Edward recount what had happened on Promised Day. They were currently reaching the part where...oh god! They were talking about _me_!

"...I still can't believe that bastard had the audacity to boast about killing Maes Hughes! I kinda wish I had asked him why he did it, though. Kill him, I mean."

"Maes knew too much", Edward mused, "I know for certain that he stumbled upon something really disturbing and he wanted to tell you, so he had to die. It was probably an order. Although...he was a happy family man. So Envy, being jealous as he was, probably enjoyed it."

Damn right I did! He was way too happy! It made me sick! But...why am I not proud of it? This can't be remorse – surely that would hurt more, right? At least Humility says so.

Mustang scoffed. "I bet he did! Pathetic little bastard..."

 _Who are you calling pathetic?!_

"...didn't even know what he was doing, rubbing it into my face...god, I still hate him, so much."

 _The feeling is mutual, bastard!_

I saw him ball his fists. "Maes was my best friend...the only one I could talk to...he had a wife and a little daughter. She is sixteen and grew up without her father. Because _he_ took him away! And I will _never_ forgive that!", he spat.

Edward sighed: "You're still holding a grudge on a dead person after thirteen years? God, Roy, get some damn closure! Also, do Gratia and Elysia know that you nearly burnt Envy to death? They wouldn't approve. And neither would Maes. You know that."

Something inside me cracked. Here he was again, being the voice of reason and kindness again. Oh Edward. No wonder you and Kindness get along so well...

"You're too kind for this world, Fullmetal. Well, someone has to be the better man, I suppose, and it wasn't me back then."

"Still isn't, you bastard."

 _Definitely. Edward is definitely the better man. In every way._

"Still...I can't believe that such a puny _thing_ caused so much harm..."

 _I'm not a thing! I am-_

"...such an ugly little creature..."

 _I'm not ugly! I'm not-_

"...no wonder it chose to make itself look different with _that_ real body..."

 _Shut up! Just shut up!_

"...and then that measly little thing-"

"Stop calling him a thing!", Edward interrupted him hotly, much to my relief. I was starting to feel positively sick and wasn't sure how much longer I could keep my anger in.

The Fuhrer blinked in confusion and stared at the blond. "Are you defending that bastard? After all that he has done?!"

"No", Edward answered calmly, "But you're being a self-righteous arsehole. All of this was thirteen years ago. Besides, despite his form and actions and the fact that he was a homunculus, Envy was still a person. And no person, no matter how bad, should be referred to like that. You wouldn't have called King Bradley a thing, right?"

No human has ever called me a person before and that he did it made me feel strangely warm.

"I know what you mean, Edward. But still...he just still disgusts me so much. Acting all high and mighty, when in truth he's just pathetic. He killed so many people and had the nerve to beg me for his life! And then you called him out and saw through his charade, you understood him and what did he do? He literally ripped out his stone and killed himself! Can you get any more cowardly?!"

I was beginning to shiver. A nauseous feeling pooled in my stomach...

 _Stop_ , I begged in my mind. _Please stop..._

"Mrs. Elric? Are you okay?" Charity's worried voice brought me back to earth.

Her concerned tone made Edward and the arsehole turn around.

Edward positively flipped out: "Winry! You're shivering! That's it, we're-"

"She won't be able to handle the drive home in this state", arsehole objected and bent down to my face. "She is very pale..."

 _Don't look at me! Don't look at me, you-_

Then he took one of those bony wrists to feel the pulse, making my skin feel like it was burning up and my flesh began to crawl in revulsion. "And her pulse is bad..."

 _Don't touch me! Stop touching me, you arsehole! Keep your dirty hands off me, you piece of shit!_

"You should bring her to the hospital, Fullmetal."

"Stop calling me Fullmetal, how often do I have to tell you! I'm not an alchemist anymore!"

 _Not an alchemist anymore?_

I was too sick to pay more attention to that.

I turned to Charity, shivering.

"Michelle", I groaned with _her_ voice. _"Charity..."_

"Mrs. Elric?" _"Envy? Are you okay?"_

"I don't feel well..." _"No, I'm not okay! I'm going to throw up!"_

Charity looked at the arsehole determinedly. "Where is the next bathroom?"

Mustang pointed to the corridor behind her. "Down that hallway, just around the corner, but-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence, because Charity had already darted off, pushing me and the wheelchair as fast as she could, with Edward hard on our heels.

 **In which Mustang is a jerk. But to his defense, he does kinda have a point. And he doesn't know that Envy is listening.**


	24. How did you know

**Chapter twenty-two: How do you know**

*Edward's POV*

We just about managed to close the bathroom door, before Envy vomited into a bowl that Charity was holding out, while I was rubbing gentle circles on his back. The juice he had drunk earlier and the liquid of red stones pooled into the bowl, it looked like Envy was coughing up blood. And to add insult to injury, there were tears running down his face. He must have felt so humiliated.

"Fuck..." Envy choked, accidentally slipping back into his own voice, "...fuck..."

"Shhh", I muttered, "It will be okay. We'll go home and you'll never have to see him again, I promise. I'm sorry. I should have stopped him-"

"You couldn't have done that without making yourself suspicious", Charity interrupted me. "In a way it's good that he's sick – it makes the act even more believable than it already is."

Wow, would have pinned her to be more tactful.

"Wow, that's so comforting!", Envy spat and violently rubbed the tears off his face, "Makes me already feel so much better!"

"You should go back to being Winry", Charity chided, "Someone could be eavesdropping. And you, Edward, get out. This is the ladies' restroom."

I glared at Charity, but complied and left. When I came outside, I nearly crashed into Hawkeye, who was waiting outside.

"Oh, sorry – Hawkeye?!"

"How is Winry?", she asked worriedly.

"Not good", I sighed sadly, "She's vomiting and coughing up blood. And Miss Angel kicked me out, because this is apparently the ladies' restroom."

Looking at the sign next to the door, I saw that this was indeed the case and scratched my head in embarrassment. But Envy was no woman either! Oh wait, he was impersonating one. Did the real him even have a gender? I mean, I call him a 'he' all the time, but what is he really?

Charity came outside.

I gaped: "You left her alone in there?"

She raised her hands defensively: "She said she wanted a few minutes for herself to gather herself and relax a little and I have to respect that!"

Hawkeye grabbed the handle of the door. "Well, I have to ask her something, before you go home, so I'll talk to her now-"

"Didn't you hear what I just said?", the Virtue said frowning, "She wants to be alone."

"I'm sorry, but what I want to know has to be answered now", Hawkeye contradicted calmly and went inside, closing the door, before the nurse could object.

Charity rubbed her temples in frustration. "Yeesh, this question better be really important! I hate it, when humans are so inconsiderate!", she muttered, glaring at the door.

I let myself sink down the wall; I was just so sick and tired of all this shit.

"Do you think she suspects something?", I asked the blonde homunculus next to me.

Charity looked at the door worriedly. "I think she does. She had that look in her eyes..."

She pressed her fingers to her forehead. "Now excuse me. I need to call Diligence. She's here in Central Command, so she should be able to get us some new red stones for Envy. Fuck, I knew it would be hard for him, but for a homunculus to throw up his red stones, he has to be under unimaginable emotional pressure. Envy is a nervous wreck and we will have to do something. First he needs more stones, or he will collapse and become as frail as Winry is. He may be robust by homunculus standards, but even we homunculi can suffer nervous breakdowns, when we're exposed to too much stress."

"Why does he need more stones anyway?", I asked, "In his earlier life, his own Philosopher's Stone provided him just fine."

The Virtue thought for a while: "That's a good question. It's probably linked to their forced resurrection and the way they died. Their stones had exhausted their energy when they died, so now we need to supply them with new energy. Their Philosopher's Stones are considerably weakened, so we need red stones to bring them back to full power."

"Is that so wise? I mean, how do we know that we can trust them?", I asked unsurely.

She smiled: "We just know. Now let me make that call to Diligence, it's urgent after all."

*Diligence's POV*

I was currently on a roof, aiming my dart gun, waiting for my chance to sneak into the storage room where the Philosopher's Stones were hidden, when a voice startled me.

" _Diligence!"_

I groaned. That was just Charity, bugging me mentally.

" _What do you want?",_ I responded in annoyance, _"I'm currently busy as hell!"_

" _Can you bring more red stones? We have an emergency here."_

Emergency? If she contacted me mentally to tell me that, it had to be serious.

" _Holy shit! I'm on it, Charity. Just need to get in first and then I'll be there in a jiffy."_

I shot some of my sedative darts, effectively knocking out the guards. With a sigh, I jumped off the roof and gathered the darts. Knocking out humans is way too simple.

*Envy's POV*

I was still coughing and clinging to the edge of the sink, when Charity left the restroom. I could feel someone enter and stand behind me at an appropriate distance. Looking into the mirror, I saw Hawkeye. Now I wasn't shivering only from nausea, but also from fear. I cursed myself for having sent Charity out. _Dammit, Hawkeye,_ I thought, _just go away already! Leave me alone!_

"Winry, I'm so sorry", I heard her say softly.

Tse! Of course you would feel sorry for a poor, sick woman in a wheelchair! Boohoo, bring on the pity! Feel sorry for me! Just kidding, don't you dare pity me!

"This must be horrible. And then in public too."

This time I didn't even need to fake the sad look I gave her reflection. I really was feeling (and looking) like shit. A shivering picture of misery. Pathetic.

"Are you feeling better? Do you think you're strong enough to handle the long drive home? I know Roy thinks you should rather go to a hospital, but you don't want them to keep you there until you die, right?"

Wow...how considerate...she really cared about _her_ , didn't she? I wish I had friends like that...

"Listen, there is something I want to ask you, before you leave."

 _Oh god, here it comes!_

"Tell me: how did Edward convince you to pose as Winry? And most importantly, how do you know so much about her relationship with me?"

 **O-oh, Hawkeye knows what's up! O_O**


	25. You really are jealous

**Chapter twenty-three: You really are jealous**

I knew it! I knew she would recognise me!

I ignored the voice in my head and tried to buy myself some time by giving her reflection the most confused look I could muster at the moment.

"What?", I asked in _her_ weak voice.

Hawkeye obviously didn't buy it; she folded her arms in front of her chest and frowned.

"You can drop the act, Envy. I know it's you. Turn back, except for the two people outside, no one knows we're here and I didn't tell Roy. I didn't want another flame fest at a party."

Well, shit. I should have made my last will before I came here.

Realising that it made no sense to keep it up any longer, I sighed and morphed back into myself. I still looked like shit. But then again, I had just thrown up my red stones. I felt so weak...

Slowly I turned the wheelchair around and faced the woman.

"What gave me away _this_ time?", I asked tiredly. Last time I had fallen for her trick. Surprisingly, she wasn't pointing her gun at me yet.

"The fact that Edward would never have brought Winry with him in that state and your reaction earlier, even though you covered it up well."

Oh. Figures. She knows them too well. I can't fool her, no matter how hard I try, huh?

Hawkeye continued: "I only know one person who could impersonate Winry that convincingly and that's you. Why are you alive, when I saw you die?! How did you get your hands on all the information? You mentioned things about me and Winry that not even Edward knows about."

I only said this: "I asked her and she told me."

Hawkeye deduced: "In order for you to be able to talk to her, Edward must know..."

 _No shit, genius!_ , I thought drily.

"...so why did he turn to you, how did he know that you're alive and how did he convince you to do this? Convincing as your act was, even you can't fake the physical reactions you had. When you started shivering at Roy's words, I knew it was you and that having to hear him talk about you was a torture for you. Surely you must have known this would happen."

I tried to calm myself down and met her eyes. "I won't answer the first two questions."

"Then answer the last one", she compromised.

"I'm impersonating her, because he asked me to." That was the truth. I did it for _him_.

"I see. What do you feel towards Winry?"

"I don't hate her." Surprisingly, that was no lie either. _She_ was tolerable, considering...

"Good." Hawkeye was silent for a minute before she changed the topic: "What Roy said really got to you, didn't it? First I thought you were bluffing when you said you weren't feeling well, but then Edward said you were coughing up blood – not even a homunculus can fake that."

"It wasn't blood, it was my stones...", I corrected her weakly. Charity's bowl was still in my lap, filled with the red liquid and the remainders of the juice from earlier. I looked at it scornfully.

"I apologise."

Okay, what?! Surely I didn't hear right! "Huh? Say what?!"

"You heard me."

Yup, I did hear right. Damn, could this get any crazier?! "What for", I asked cautiously.

"For Roy being such a jerk. That slandering was uncalled for and it was downright cruel. He's usually better than that."

 _Better my ass._ I would have made a snide remark, but I wasn't in the mood for mockery.

"Why are you being so nice to me?", I asked, just as tiredly as before. "You're supposed to hate me. And you haven't even pulled out your gun yet."

"Well, not everyone holds grudges like Roy does. And I'm not angry at you, not any-more."

Forgiveness...that's what Patience talks about, isn't it?

"Why did you hook up with him?", I asked out of the blue.

Where had that even come from? Oh, never mind.

She chuckled: "Well, someone needs to knock some sense into him once in a while. And with Edward gone, who will do it, if not me?"

I chuckled drily. Suddenly I felt the urge to say something important to her. It was embarrassing, but I guess she deserved it. "Good point. Hey...uh, I'm sorry I tried to kill you back then."

"No hard feelings. But can I ask you one more question?"

 _Sure, but whether I will answer it, is an entirely different matter._

"Why did you kill Maes Hughes?"

I knew it. But I answered anyway. "Because I was ordered to. Hughes knew too much, so Father sent Lust and me to kill him. She failed, so I shot him. And you know what?"

I laughed hysterically and the shivers and nausea returned full force, as I continued talking without even knowing what I was saying. "It was so damn satisfying! That man, always prancing around and bragging about his family! He was so happy! It made me fucking sick! How can anyone be so happy, when I don't even know what happiness is?!"

Tears...was I crying? In front of her? Again? How humiliating...

Turning back to her, I didn't see anger, disgust or hatred. I saw sadness. Pure sadness and a hint of sympathy. Not pity. Sympathy. Just like when Edward...

"I see", she said quietly. "So Edward was right back then. You really _are_ jealous of humans."

That stung. It stung so much. The memory of how Edward had realised what was going on inside me. The sympathy in these golden eyes, when he had understood me. The reminder was too much for me to bear. Not only did I start to bawl my eyes out, I also threw up again. Could I possibly sink any lower? Didn't think so. Right now, I just wanted to curl up and die.

Hawkeye tore the bathroom door open and called for help. Charity and Edward immediately bust into the room with a first aid kit. For a second Ed was startled, probably because I was in my own shape in front of Hawkeye. Charity didn't bother, she was at my side at once and patted my back, while holding the bowl. After I had calmed down a little, she pulled out a Thermos bottle and poured some hot liquid into a cup.

"Drink this", she encouraged me and handed me the cup. "It does wonders in cases like this one."

Greedily I drank the hot liquid. It ran down my sore throat like honey and made me feel better almost instantly.

Edward looked over to Hawkeye. "So you saw through it, huh? You wanted to confront him?"

Hawkeye nodded: "We ended up having a fairly decent conversation actually. You know, Envy", she told me, "You're not so bad when you're not boasting about evil deeds or trying to kill people."

I grinned lopsidedly: "You're not so bad either, when you're not riddling me with bullets."

She chuckled. Then she turned to Charity: "Well, now that I know what's going on, I would like to know your real identity, Miss Angel. What's your real name?"

Charity sighed: "I'm Charity, one of the Seven Heavenly Virtues. And yes, I'm a homunculus", she added, revealing the blue ouroboros on her forehead. "The Sins are our little siblings. But we left Father, because he was a piece of shit."

"How could I disagree with that!", Hawkeye muttered. "So, are you going home now?"

"Yeah. We just have to find my little sister, Al and Mei and then we're off. I think that this was more than enough excitement for one evening. Envy, do you think you can shapeshift right now?"

Seriously?! Of course I can, you stupid blondie!

I bit back my vicious remarks and left it as a nasty glare, before I turned back into _her_. Charity smiled in relief. "Good, I was worried you were too out of it. Happened to your Virtue once, that's why I asked. Now, where is my sister, that ginger-haired little beast..."

Suddenly the door was kicked open and said ginger-haired little beast bust in.

"DILIGENCE TO THE RESCUE!", the ginger yelled, "I got the supplies you wanted, Charity, and – who the fuck is that?", she asked, noticing Hawkeye.

Everyone facepalmed.

 **Envy has a nervous breakdown. Again. And Diligence is here to be comic relief.**


	26. Thank you

**Chapter twenty-four: Thank you**

*Edward's POV*

No word was said when I carried "Winry" down the stairs to the car. Charity, Diligence, Al and Mei were behind us. This time Envy and I shared the passengers seat, Diligence drove the car and Charity, Al and Mei sat in the back. The first two hours of driving were silent. Finally they were driving down a lone country road, when I turned to Envy: "I think you can turn back now. No one will see you now."

Envy sighed in relief and shifted back into his black-haired, black-clad, palm tree-like self.

The homunculus grabbed my collar and gritted his teeth. "That was the first and last time I did that for you, ex-pipsqueak. _First and last_! Get it?", he growled.

I nodded. I couldn't blame the Sin, really.

Diligence cleared her throat and turned to Charity. "Here are the stones you asked for", she said and handed her sister the red stones. The blonde passed a handful over to Envy, who immediately gobbled them up.

The ginger-haired Virtue frowned: "So you wanted them for Envy? You said it was an emergency! Could anyone tell me just what the fuck happened?"

"NO!", Envy barked, before anyone could say something.

Diligence winced. "Okay, okay! Yeesh, calm down!"

I sighed: "Seriously, Diligence – how did you not get into trouble for underage driving?"

The ginger seized my arm with her free hand and without turning her eyes off the road. "Who are you calling so small she gets mistaken for a child?!", she growled darkly.

Wow...she behaved just like I had back then.

"I'm not", I back-pedalled to save my ass. "I just wanted to say that they probably couldn't tell that you're not a child, because you just look that, uh, adorable! Yeah! That's it!"

That wasn't even a lie – she did look kinda cute with her red hair, freckles and broad smile.

That seemed to satisfy the ginger, she let go and grinned. "Why, thank you! I know that I'm cute! I'm so cute that Kindness borrowed my freckles when she created her preferred form! And for your information, Edward – really I'm over 400 years old, but officially I'm _nineteen_!"

Nineteen?! She looked like twelve!

Diligence handed me her card. It said:

 _Gabrielle Angel, Errand Girl, born 15_ _th_ _April 1909, orphaned_

I frowned: "Is that what you tell people? That you guys are orphans?"

Envy grinned: "Why not? It's true. Father is dead, so we have no parents. And doesn't this girl just remind you of a _certain someone_?"

Suddenly I realised that he was trying to stifle a giggle. And he wasn't the only one – Al and Mei were trying to hold back their snickers as well. That pissed me off. What the fuck was so funny?

I turned back to Diligence, who was grinning as well. "No offence, Diligence, but you really don't look like nineteen."

"I know", the ginger sighed, "I just hate it, when people rub it into my face. Besides-" She smirked mischievously. "You're one to talk! A certain Sin told me that you didn't exactly look like your age back then either! That would explain why he calls you _ex-pipsqueak_!"

"ENVY!", I roared furiously and said homunculus burst into laughter. He was joined by Al and Mei, who failed to hold it back and all three of them laughed.

I was about to fall into one of my old don't-call-me-short-rants, when Charity put a hand on my shoulder from behind.

"Cut him some slack", she smiled, "He's had a shitty evening. Let him laugh."

*Envy's POV*

We returned home in a better mood. When we parked Chastity's car and got out, I turned to Diligence, smirking from ear to ear: "Thanks, Freckles! You brightened up my night!"

Freckles (She doesn't mind that I call her that) grinned back: "Aw, you're welcome! I couldn't stand the tension and Ed provided the perfect opportunity!"

Edward, who was getting out behind us, threw us a death glare, before stomping back to the house.

Al appeared next to me, startling me a little.

The younger Elric brother asked gently: "Are you feeling better? You were so upset earlier."

"I still am", I admitted, "but yes, now I'm feeling better."

Al chuckled: "Yeah, that in the car was funny. Diligence has a mean humour. Brother is still touchy about his height back then. And about the fact that I'm still taller than him."

I grinned. Then I remembered something and became serious. "Hey...uh, Alphonse." It was weird to call him by his name, but I couldn't call him "tin can" any-more, could I?

"There is something I wanted to ask you since the reunion, but I forgot."

Al smiled. "Sure, go ahead."

"How did you get your body back? And why does your brother have both arms?"

Al's smile wavered a little. "I gave my soul to bring back his arm during our fight against father. I reunited with my body in the Gate and then Ed sacrificed his Portal of Truth to get me out of there. He still has all his knowledge, but he can't perform alchemy any-more."

So it was true...the Fullmetal Alchemist really was no longer an alchemist. That was...kinda sad.

"...That sucks."

"It's okay. He is still sad about it sometimes, but he has come to terms with it and is content with his life. Currently Winry and the children are the only thing he has to worry about."

I said nothing. I just looked after the ex-alchemist, who was about to enter the house.

The bean girl passed us by. "Do you want to stand here all night? I definitely don't, I want to sleep", the Xingese said and went inside. Thirteen years later she was still an annoying brat...

I shrugged. "Well, we better go inside and tell them how it was, shall we?"

*Edward's POV*

Winry and the kids had been given a report of how the party had been. We'd had fun, at least until some drunkard had caused trouble and we went home.

Yes, I had altered the story, at Envy's request. The androgynous teen had given her a report of his own, but he didn't mention Roy's nasty behaviour or his own breakdown.

I wondered why, but didn't say anything. Probably Envy didn't want Winry to pity him.

It was shortly before midnight. My son and daughter were long sleeping, but I couldn't sleep. I knew I needed it, I needed the rest after such a stressful day, but for some reason, sleep evaded me. So here I was, sitting in the living room, contemplating about everything.

Living with the homunculi isn't as bad as I thought. I expected them to cause more trouble. Maybe they really appreciate their second chance at living. Maybe they really want to start anew and leave everything behind. The idea is nice. But what irks me is that they're witnessing all my troubles and woes. They see Winry dying, they see that I have two children, that Hohenheim is aging and that Al and Mei are about to get married. They see my weaknesses. And that scares me.

"Still awake, ex-pipsqueak?"

That raspy, androgynous voice from the back of the room made me jump. The owner of the voice was seated in an armchair in the corner, reading a book in the light of a lamb.

"You should go to bed", the homunculus recommended quietly, without facing me. I only saw that wild shock of black hair. "Humans need sleep after all."

"How did you know it was me?", I asked quietly.

Ivory shoulders shrugged. "I would recognise the sound of your metal leg anywhere."

Oh. Right. The weight difference in my steps.

I walked over and sat next to the other on the floor. In that position, I got a good view on the front cover of the book the teen was reading. A horror story. Huh. Why was I not surprised.

Envy didn't look up from his book when he began to speak. "So your brother told me that you lost your alchemy."

I stiffened and mentally cursed Al for not knowing when to shut up.

"Huh. Can't believe you actually did it. But was it really worth it? You have both arms, but you still have that automail-leg. Your _wife_ is on her death bed and your brother will soon have a family of his own. Who will help you take care of your kids? And who will fix your automail-leg, when it's broken? _She_ can't do it anymore."

He was lucky I was so tired, otherwise I would have punched his smug face so hard...also, I didn't like the way he talked about Winry.

"Stop."

"Pardon?"

"Stop saying that. I don't want to hear it."

"You won't be able to run from reality forever, ex-pipsqueak."

I'm not running from it! I-okay, he was right. But it still pissed me off.

"Don't push it, palm tree", I warned him.

Envy snorted, obviously not impressed, but still kept his eyes on the page.

"Go to sleep", he said softly. "You need the rest."

It was kind of surreal to hear Envy talk like that. There was no teasing undertone, no sarcasm, hate or spite in the teen's voice. Only calm and a little hint of tiredness. It sounded so strange. Because the homunculus was talking so quietly, the usual rasp in his voice was almost non-existent. It made that voice sound silky. And why the fuck was I paying attention to that?!

"And what about you?", I retorted petulantly, "Why don't _you_ go to bed?"

Childish of me, I know, but who cares.

"Homunculi don't sleep", Envy explained coolly. "We don't need to do that."

Oh yeah. I forgot. But I wasn't about to give up. He really did seem to be exhausted and that was no wonder after what he had gone through. He had relived his most traumatic memories, had to be near the person who had almost torched him to death, had thrown up red stones and broken into a hysterical fit, in front of Hawkeye no less.

"Who cares." I said softly, "After that evening you look like you could use some sleep. You're tired, Envy. Go back to your room and try to get some shut-eye. It'll do you good."

Now the Sin finally looked up from his book.

Our eyes met and we stared each other down for two minutes, until the black-haired one gave in. "Fine. But you do the same. No one will profit from you being a walking corpse tomorrow", he muttered, put a bookmark onto the page, before he shut the book and stood up. He walked over to the stairs, ready to go upstairs and retreat to his room on the second floor.

"Goodnight. See ya tomorrow."

"Envy, wait!"

The homunculus turned around and I was almost glad to see that hint of amusement back in those eyes. "Oh? What's the matter?"

"Come here, there is something I wanna tell you."

Envy chuckled quietly, but did so. "So, ex-pipsqueak? I'm all ears."

I scratched the back of my neck. This was very awkward, but it had to be done.

"Listen, I'm sorry I made you do this and I know that this was hell for you..."

The smile on Envy's feminine face vanished and his expression hardened.

"...but I want you to know...uhm...I really appreciate that you did it, even though you knew it would be torture. So..."

I wrapped my arms around the stunned homunculus and enveloped him in a tight hug.

"Thank you", I whispered in his ear.

For a second, Envy tensed up, then I felt him relax and lean into my embrace.

"...You're welcome."

And no comment about this being sappy this time. Perhaps he really enjoyed it...

 **Me: The comic relief was brought to you by Diligence the Zealous. Also, here we have some fluff at the end of the chapter. Just in case it wasn't already obvious to you, I ship Edvy. I also ship EdWin. I'm conflicted. Okay, now that that's out of the way, bye bye-**

 **Diligence: NOT SO FAST! Hi, readers. Since ProfessionalPrimadonna forgot the disclaimer so far, allow me to rectify that. FMA doesn't belong to her, it belongs to-**

 **Me: OH MY GOD, I FORGOT THE DISCLAIMER?!**

 **Diligence: *sighs* Yeah, you kinda did. Anyway, FMA and it's characters are property of Ms. Hiromu Arakawa. ProfessionalPrimadonna owns nothing more than the plot of this story and us Virtues. Even though we don't like to be owned …**


	27. Why won't you pt 02

**Chapter twenty-five: Why won't you pt. 02**

Weeks had passed since that party incident that Winry didn't know about, because me and Envy had altered the story for her. She didn't need to know that the homunculus had thrown up in a stress reaction to Mustang's douchebaggery. Winry had been proud to hear that Envy had scolded me for kicking Mustang in the nut with his automail-leg, but she had also been sad, because she would have loved to be there. Since then, her health had deteriorated even further and it was more obvious than ever that the love of my life was on her deathbed. She was like a ghost, even more so than Humility. The woman who had once pulled several all-nighters to work on my automails was now too weak to even throw her wrench at people who pissed her off.

I was devastated. I begged and begged Winry to let them heal her with a Philosopher's Stone, but she always refused.

"Why...", I croaked. "Winry, why...?"

She never answered.

"Please don't leave me", I begged, more desperate than ever. "I love you...the kids love you...Winry, please! Please...don't you want to live?!"

Still no answer.

I refused to cry.

I had to be strong.

For the children.

For Winry.

For the others.

For myself.

Humility is an odd homunculus. Unlike the others, who seek the public and social life, she hardly ever approaches anyone of her own accord, always remains in the background and unless it's training time or Pride wants to leave the house, she hardly leaves her room. Humility is meek and quiet, you don't notice her until she speaks up. One would think that a girl with a neatly kept shock of silvery white hair and a long white robe stands out, but she's invisible.

I suspect that this is her actual ability, not the shadow control. I also suspect that she's monitoring the whole house from her room via her shadows. That would explain why Pride wants out as much as possible. But that could also be Selim's influence – he's twelve after all.

Anyway, it always gives me the jeebies when I hear Humility's voice. She's respectful and sweet and nothing like Pride, but it's still creepy. It's not her voice per say. Unlike Pride's, hers doesn't have a scary detached sound to it. Humility's voice is that of a shy young girl with a weak whispering echo to it, at least when she's in shadow mode.

No, what creeps me out is when I suddenly hear that voice from behind and feel that powerful presence that was around the oldest homunculus. Her voice always seems to come from nowhere, even when she's standing next to me and that's creepy.

And here she was, leaning against the kitchen counter, reading a recipe from a cooking book.

"Hello, Edward. Is there something I can help you with?", she asked friendly.

I sighed and sat down next to her. "No. I just want to think."

"You wonder why Winry refuses that chance to live, don't you?"

I looked at her hopefully. "Do you know?"

"I do, but I won't tell you."

"Why not?", I yelled in outrage. All this secrecy just pisses me off!

The Virtue sighed and put her book down. "Because she doesn't want anyone to know."

She ducked into the counter and got out a big pot. "Today it's my turn to cook. Is there something you want to eat for dinner?"

"Don't care", I muttered, "Ask the others. I don't care. I'm not hungry anyway."

I left the kitchen to go outside and play with my children. Chastity had reminded me that I hadn't been giving them enough attention lately. So I had to be a better father, for their sake. I could never forgive myself if I turned out like my own father and abandoned my own children.

*Humility's POV*

I watched from the window, as he was playing with his children. That is, he tried, but it was obvious that his mind was somewhere else.

I shook my head sadly. Poor children. And poor man. If it's that bad now, just how horrible will it be when Winry Elric is dead?

I took out the knives and began to cut the vegetables for the stew I was going to cook. Winry had told me that the Elrics loved that dish, which is fortunate, because, honestly, it's the only thing I can cook. I hoped that I could rejoice them by serving them their favourite food.

Right in this moment Greed walked in. "Yo, ghost girl! What's for lunch-HOLY SHIT!"

I had thrown a knife at him and it had narrowly missed his head. Why? Because I just hate it, when someone walks in without knocking, while I work.

"What do you think you're doing here?", I growled darkly. "Get out of the kitchen!"

Greed raised his hands in defence. "Whoa there! Calm down, lady! No need to go psycho!"

He calls me psycho? Hah! He hasn't seen Chastity angry yet!

*Edward's POV*

Van and Nina were sleeping. I was very insistent that they would take their afternoon naps, since they're still so little. Of course Nina didn't agree, but whatever. They had played the whole morning and after lunch they had to sleep, I made no exceptions there.

I kissed their foreheads, then went to the library to read. I was in the mood for something really depressing, so I picked out an old tragedy from Xerxes that Hohenheim had once written down. I was grateful towards Chastity for encouraging my father to write down the stories he remembered from his native country that had vanished so long ago. Hohenheim has heard many stories in his over 400 years long life and she had asked him to write them down, so they wouldn't be forgotten. Chastity, me and Al shared our love for knowledge and learning and therefore I got along well with her.

Currently I was reading a tragic piece about two lovers of whom one wasted away in sickness, leaving the other to grieve. I could relate. Sounded a lot like my own life right now.

"Reading tragedies again, Edward?"

Kindness's voice startled me and I dropped my book. The freckled blond smiled, picked up the book and gave it back to me.

"You should read literature that is less depressing and more instructive", she recommended.

"Well, what are you reading there?", I snapped. Whatever she was reading, it was a very fat book.

The other blond relied with a smile: "I'm reading the Divine Comedy. Maybe you should try it. It's not really a comedy, but it's a really good book! It may be a religious work, but you still can learn a lot from it."

A religious book? Really? I'm an alchemist, that is I used to be one. I don't do religion.

I frowned: "If it's a religious work, I don't see any reason why I should read it!"

Kindness got excited and I could practically see the sparkles in her yellow eyes: "Religious or not, it's very interesting! The author is also the protagonist and is guided by a dead poet, who leads him through hell and purgatory, before being replaced by a dead woman who shows him through heaven. It doesn't really make sense at times and it's kinda surreal in some parts, but it's a really good read! It tells a lot about what he thought and felt when he wrote that book. Of course the author uses the opportunity to hate on a lot of people he dislikes or who did him wrong, but that is to be expected from someone who lived so long ago. It has a lot to do with the sins and virtues and how the former are being punished in hell and purgatory and the latter grant salvation from punishment. You know, that moral stuff. It's less boring than it sounds. But then again, you might not like it – according to this book, alchemists go to hell."

I gaped at Kindness, who smiled innocently.

Then I snorted: "Yeah...I guess we would go there if hell existed. But hell can't be much worse than what I'm going through right now."

The homunculus put a bookmark in her book and put it down. "You know, Edward, you don't need to bottle up all the sorrow inside of you. There are so many people who care about you. You can let them share your pain, that's what they're there for."

"Well, what do you expect me to do?!", I exploded. What did she know?!

"Approach them. Talk about it. They'll listen." I hadn't expected the answer to be so blunt.

I frowned and returned the book to its shelf, then left the library for Winry's sickroom.

Before I left the room, I heard Kindness say: "And despite the pain you feel, you still refuse to cry. Your wife is right, you're a moron. A foolish, self-destructive human...still so stubborn and proud, after all the things they went through with you."

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!" I screamed, "YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I FEEL!"

Have you ever seen someone who's always friendly get angry?

That's what Kindness was doing right there. Her face distorted into a grotesque mask of anger.

"Listen up, Edward Elric", she said darkly and stood up, "You think that no one understands you?! Hah! Think again, you foolish man! Do you have the faintest idea how many loved ones I had, all Virtues had to watch die?! We know exactly what you're going through right now, so how about you kiss that egocentric world view of yours goodbye and take into mind that other people suffer as well?! There are enough people out there going through the same trouble as you. Hell, us Virtues have lived for so long, we have been in this situation countless times! Some people were suddenly gone, while others wasted away, just like your Winry, and there was nothing we could do about it! That is the curse of immortality, Edward! We all feel your pain and suffer with you, so stop wallowing in self-pity. It's disgusting, not even I can tolerate it and I'm the incarnation of kindness! Congratulations for making _me_ angry! What an accomplishment! I hope you're proud of yourself, you idiot! Oh, Envy is going to have such a field day, when he finds out! 'Whoohoo, the human who understands me pissed off my fucking Contrary Virtue!' Now get lost. If your children haven't woken up before, our argument surely has startled them awake."

Wow. Who would have known that someone as polite and sweet as Kindness could get so pissed.

And what was the worst, she was right. I had been so absorbed by my woes, that I had forgotten that others were going through the same. I was only thinking about myself.

And that's why Kindness's words cut me deeper than anything her opposite Sin had ever said to me. It was the truth in her words that hurt me so, that made me want to curl up and disappear.

"I'm sorry", I mumbled, hanging my head low. "Forgive me, I shouldn't have-"

I stopped, when the blond homunculus hugged me. I hadn't seen that coming, so I just stood there like an idiot. She was a bit smaller than me, about Envy's height.

"Apology accepted", Kindness said, but she sounded sad. "And I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have phrased it as cruelly as I did. And I shouldn't have used all these curse words or called you idiot."

Only Kindness and Al would apologise for using strong language, _if_ they ever use it.

"No, it's okay", I assured her. "I needed to hear that. It wasn't cruel. It was kind. Thank you for bringing me to my senses. At least for a while."

The Virtue smiled sadly. "Hey now. Sometimes kindness means to give someone a piece of your mind. To tell them what they really need to hear. Even if it isn't always good. Go to your children now. And don't disturb your wife, she is sleeping. Just think about what I said, okay? And never forget it."

"I won't", I promised and left the library to see how the kids were doing.

*Envy's POV*

I was standing next to the door, hearing everything. I almost got caught, when the ex-pipsqueak left the library, but he didn't see me, at least I think he didn't. Kindness did though, and when I peeked in to see how my opposite Virtue was doing, she looked up and waved me in.

"So you heard everything, didn't you?", she asked me.

I nodded. "Yeah, I kinda did. Was hard not to." I smirked. "Congratulations! About time you got pissed about something! I couldn't have put any better what you said!"

Kindness smiled drily. Then she stood up. "Well, I have to check on Mrs. Elric. I'm her doctor after all. When you pass by, can you check on Edward for me? He probably still has to stomach what I just told him."

I blinked at her. Why would I check on- well, if I was there anyway … "Fine."

When I left the library and went towards the stairway, I passed by the room of Edward's brats and looked in. They were sitting on the carpet and he on the chair in front of them and they were talking about _her_.

Kindness is right. He really is an idiot. I don't get him. Stupid ex-pipsqueak...wasting his time being sappy and fussing over a woman in her last throes. Damn, he pisses me off! I fucking hate him! He confuses me and I don't know why that even bothers me! Why does his suffering not excite me? Why does it piss me off that he loves _that bitch_?! And why the fuck am I so jealous over that pathetic bullshit named love?! Stupid worm...

I had enough of this. Perhaps if I hadn't to deal with that moron angsting over _her_ all the time, I wouldn't be in such a bad mood.

And if _the bitch_ didn't refuse to be cured, the ex-pipsqueak wouldn't be angsty all the time.

I didn't get it anyway. There _she_ had a chance at full recovery and refused it! Her death would cause her family nothing but grief. It didn't make any sense! Why did she want to die?

I wanted to know.

I _had_ to know.

 **Ed being angsty, Humility being secretive, Kindness getting pissed and Envy being annoyed by the whole situation.**


	28. A nightly conversation

**Chapter twenty-six: A nightly conversation**

Humans are so stupid.

It was the middle of the night and the window to the sickroom was open. It would be so easy to sneak in, kill _her_ or steal something, not that there was anything of interest for me.

And I couldn't kill her, because everyone would instantly know he was the culprit. Who else would kill the dying _wife_ of Edward Elric in the middle of the night?

Pride's too haughty to deem her worth the deed, Lust has no reason, Gluttony and Sloth are too stupid, Wrath has no problem with _her_ or holds a grudge against Edward and Greed and Edward are _friends_.

No, there was no way I could kill _this woman_ and get away with it. And for some reason I didn't even want to. I just wanted to understand. So here I was, sitting on the sill of the open window, allowing the cool night air to blow through my hair. As good as it felt, my mind was elsewhere.

There _she_ was, looking as if she was already sleeping the sleep of the dead.

She wasn't dead. Her chest was rising and sinking with every laboured breath she took.

I wanted to ask her something.

Should I wake her up? In the middle of the night? What if she got scared and screamed? But _she_ isn't afraid of me, hell, she had allowed me to use the bathroom while she'd been bathing!

Should I wait until the morning? But then I wouldn't have the privacy of this moment, besides, it wasn't certain that she would wake up in the morning.

"Have you come to kill me?"

Okay, problem solved. _She_ was awake.

"No. I just want to ask you a few questions."

I climbed inside and sat down in the armchair next to her bed. It was comfy.

"I'm surprised you're awake at this hour", I remarked.

 _She_ smiled bitterly. "It's hard to sleep when you're in pain."

"You know", I suggested, "You could easily end that pain if you weren't so much against having them heal you with that stone."

"Not gonna happen." Wow, talk about obstinate.

I frowned. "Why? I don't get it. Everyone will be devastated when you die. And you just said that you're in pain! Why not just end all that, it would make your family so happy! How much do you suffer and why do you choose that over living healthily?"

 _She_ chuckled drily. "I probably don't suffer nearly as much as Ed did after he tried and failed to bring back his mum and binding Al to a suit of armour..."

"That doesn't answer my question!", I interrupted, "Answer me! Why do you want to die?"

 _Her_ smile softened. "You're the first one to ask me that question directly, you know?"

I blinked. "What?"

"Everyone only asks why I refuse treatment or being cured by that awful stone."

I scoffed: "So that's it? You know what a Philosopher's Stone is made of and that's why you refuse it? It wouldn't make you feel better that something like that is used for something that you humans consider good?"

"That's not the reason", _she_ denied. "You're the first one to openly acknowledge that I want to die. But the reason for that won't make much more sense to you either."

I was intrigued. "Oh? Do tell me anyway, I'm curious."

"Edward is scared, because you all see his weaknesses. If I die, he will have one weakness less to worry about. Also, I would only be in the way if I lived."

"Huh? But you're his mechanic, right?" That sounded pretty useful to me.

"Yes, I am. Many people relied on me until I got ill and I'm sorry to leave them behind. But first and foremost, I'm Ed's wife. He cares for me and dotes on me..."

"Another reason not to die." At least to me it is. And what about their kids?

"...but he doesn't love me."

What? Okay, now I was confused. Edward didn't love _her_? Of course he did! Couldn't she see how he fretted over her, how he did everything for her, how he spent nights at her bedside, how he would neglect his children if the Virtues didn't remind him that he was a father as well as a husband? If he didn't love her, why had he even married her? Wasn't that the reason for humans to marry?

 _She_ seemed to guess what I was thinking, for she elaborated: "Ed loved me when he married me. He would have risked his life for me, but he did that even when I was only his friend. He gave half of his life to me in exchange for half of mine – if you know what I mean."

I snorted: "Is that how he proposed? Suggesting an equivalent exchange? Smooth, very smooth! What a moron."

 _She_ chuckled: "Yeah, that's what I said back then. I gave him my whole life instead – or no, it was 85 percent actually."

What. The. Fuck. "Okay, now you seriously weird me out."

Ignoring that statement, _she_ continued: "Back then he loved me. When we had two children, he loved me. I was his home back then. But he doesn't love me any-more, not that way. Since we and you guys all moved together. Now he's in love with someone else and doesn't even know it, because he's a moron."

The ex-pipsqueak is in love with someone else?! I felt burning jealousy rise up in my chest, but ignored it and asked coolly: "Are you blaming us homunculi for losing your husband?"

"No. I'm not that idiotic. Just the timing was the same."

"Uhm...who _does_ he love?", I asked cautiously. Why did I want to know so desperately?

"I'm sorry, but this secret I'll take to my grave." That answer was frustrating.

She changed the topic, confusing me even further. "If you don't have any other business to attend to, could you stay with me for the night? It's a bit lonely, being awake when everybody else is sleeping and I would like to spend the night talking, now that you're here."

I blinked. _She_ wanted _me_ to keep her company? Me, Envy?

I scratched my head awkwardly. "Uhhh...I guess I could. I mean, I don't need sleep anyway, so I might as well...sit here and talk."

Which I've never done before. Ugh, what was I doing with my life...

 _She_ smiled. "Thank you." She gestured to the edge of her bed. "Why don't you sit down here?"

Okay, what? What did she take me for, a fucking nurse? Could this get any weirder?!

Probably my face was reflecting my thought process, because she blushed awkwardly.

"Never mind. Sorry if I was being intrusive. Being bed-ridden has made me kinda clingy."

I shook my head in annoyance and sat down on her bed anyway. The moon shone onto me and made my skin look ghostly white, while my hair overshadowed my face.

 _She_ too looked pale in the moonlight, although not as much as I. Pale and extremely fragile.

Why was I humouring a human? Oh, never mind. It wasn't like anyone would ever know.

Trying to relieve the awkward tension, I returned to the original topic. "So this is why you want to die? Because you want to make way for whoever he loves?"

"Yes. I know that this person will be good for him."

"...You're not gonna tell me who it is, huh?"

 _She_ shook her head. "No."

We sat in silence for a while. With some difficulty, _she_ turned to look at the full moon outside.

"Ed always liked the moon. He can rant about it for days. I just think it looks pretty."

Why was she telling me that?

"He talks a lot about you, you know", _she_ said suddenly. "About how much you piss him off, how you confuse him..."

Hah. The feeling was mutual then! Fuckin' sweet!

"...how much he hates it when people stare after you on the streets and give you whistles..."

Whoa! I know I'm sexy, but damn! Jealous much, ex-pipsqueak?

"...that he thinks you look kinda cute when you sleep or smile..."

He really thinks I'm cute? I blushed. Embarrassing.

"...how he thinks you look like a palm tree..."

I mentally gasped in shock. Oh no, he doesn't!

"...why the hell you dress like a stripper – don't give me that look, it's what _he_ says!"

Why, that sorry little-

"How he loathes the way you smirk and wants to punch that smug grin off your face..."

Aw, that's just mean!

"...how your anger issues go on his nerves..."

Anger issues?! I don't have anger issues! Oh, that bastard's going to get it!

"How much of a psycho you are and how upsetting you makes him feel bad anyway..."

Damn right, I'm a psy- wait, what? He feels bad when I'm upset? Wow...the only one who's ever done that was Kindness...

"...that it pisses him off how flawless and perfect your body is..."

He's been checking out my body? Why, you naughty, naughty ex-pipsqueak!

"...that it makes him feel ugly to stand next to you..." She sighed. "He's an idiot."

I scoffed bitterly: "Yeah...what an idiot indeed. He doesn't even know what he has."

He knows what I really look like and has the nerve to feel ugly next to me?! Is he serious?!

 _She_ continued: "Oh, and he also fears for our children's safety around you and your siblings."

I snorted: "Of course he would. We're the Seven Sins after all."

 _She_ smiled strangely: "I'm confident that you won't do them any harm."

I blinked. Then I laughed: "Are you saying you trust me?! It's foolish of you to trust someone like me! Do you know who I am?!"

"I know what kind of person you were, if that's what you mean", she assured me.

I leaned forward. "Do you now?", I taunted her.

 _She_ nodded, seemingly not impressed. "Ed told me. You shot a little girl and started a war."

"Yup."

"The very war that took thousands of innocent lives, made Scar a murderer and got my parents killed by said man."

"Guilty as charged."

"Then you shot Mr. Hughes."

"He really told you all that?"

"Yup." _She_ looked at me with the most underwhelmed face ever. "He also told me that you rubbed it into his and Mustang's face and got yourself set on fire."

That was a low blow! She just had to remind me of that! And damn ex-pipsqueak, couldn't he keep anything to himself?!

Recovering from the shock, I sighed: "And despite knowing all that, you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"That's who you were back then. You have changed."

"Tse. You're insane. Your parents were murdered in a war that I started and still you forgive me?"

 _She_ laughed quietly: "I want to make my peace with everything before I die. I have forgiven Scar and I can forgive you too. Besides, I will be with them and granny Pinako soon."

"Why do you humans forgive?", I wanted to know. "Why? How can people who're supposed to hate each other be friends and leave that shit behind?! I...I don't understand!"

I don't understand. And I hate it. I hate it when humans forgive each other instead of fighting. I hate it when they get along. It makes me sick. Humans should be miserable, but it's me who-

 _She_ smiled. "Sometimes forgiveness feels better than revenge. Getting back at someone isn't always worth it. It doesn't make you a better person. But when you get closure and forgive, you shake off a great burden. You feel lighter afterwards. Forgetting something is easy, but forgiving someone is extremely hard. That's why being able to do it makes you stronger."

That's a weird concept. Guess, I'll never understand it.

"But what's the point of befriending your enemy?", I complained. "Humans love to make others' lives miserable! They're not capable of really getting along! I mean, why else would they constantly be at war with each other? Where is the fun in everyone getting along?"

 _She_ looked at me strangely and I tried to figure out what she was thinking.

But finally she spoke it out: "Does it make you jealous? Seeing humans happy?"

My eyes widened and I almost choked. There was no mockery in her voice, no pity, only a question. And it still cut me to the core. The disgrace of being understood by a lowly human. Suddenly I really wanted to strangle her. But I couldn't do that.

"He told you that too, didn't he?", I growled, but _she_ shook her head. "No. You just did."

Oh. Of course. I just _had_ to fall for the oldest trick in the book. Again.

I bit my lip, then finally looked into her eyes. "Tell me: have you ever truly envied someone? Have you ever cursed your fate because someone else had something you want but never will have and wished you were in their place?"

 _She_ seemed to be thinking intensely for a moment. A flash of sadness went across her face, like she was recalling something. Then she nodded slowly.

For the first time in decades, I felt just as sad as the human before me looked.

"It's painful, isn't it?", I asked softly. "Imagine feeling like that all the time. Imagine not having of all these nice things you have. Only the desperation of seeing everyone else having something in their life that makes it worth living, while you have nothing. The bitter hatred that eats at your core and the irresistible urge to make others as miserable as you are or even worse. The cruel satisfaction and malicious glee when exactly that happens. It's a superficial, spiteful joy in others' suffering, but no matter how much it excites you to see others in pain, inside you still feel empty."

I chuckled bitterly and looked up to the ceiling. "That's envy. That's _me_."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her frown.

"That's a terrible way to live", _she_ said and it sounded sad.

"It is. There is no crueller act than creating something like me. It's utterly painful and utterly pointless. Seeing everyone else happy, when I don't even know how that feels like. Even my siblings are happy and it pisses me off. I was born from Father's pure jealousy. So there is nothing about me that I wouldn't envy in others. Even this body. It's not what I really look like."

"It's not? You always seem so comfortable in that shape."

So he hadn't told her that? Crap, now I let it slip! Well, guess I could as well tell her the truth.

"This body is what I want to look like", I confessed. "I wanted to look perfect. I always envy everyone, so I made something others would envy _me_ for."

"What do you really look like?"

"My own siblings can't stand to look at me." She didn't need to know more.

 _Her_ face darkened. "Some siblings, who can't look at their own brother or sister!"

Wow. She seemed to be genuinely upset about it. I hadn't expected that.

"We're only siblings by name. We're the Seven Deadly Sins and we have the same creator. He made us when he purged himself of his seven desires. We used to be the pawns in his big plan and we all knew it. But that's pretty much all we have in common. We tolerate each other, nothing more. That's not what you humans would call a family. Speaking of which..."

All this had raised another question in me and I wanted to know: "What's that like? Having a family? All humans seem to want it and you Elrics...you seem to be so happy being one."

The human thought for a moment. "Hmm...a real family...how do I put this into words?"

I shrugged: "Take your time, I have all night."

What was I doing?! Why was I being so nice to a lowly human?! I'm Envy the Jealous and here I was, playing Mr. Listen for a dying woman, for _her_ no less...but it's not like anyone would ever know, so I could as well be the nice guy. Just for this one night...

 _She_ proceeded thinking for a while, then she smiled, making up her mind: "Well, having a family means to have someone who is always there for you and whom you can be there for. A safe haven when everything else around you is falling apart. A home when you have nowhere else to turn to, that always will welcome you with open arms. It doesn't matter where that home is. Only that it's the place where your heart is. Family means that you're not alone, no matter what happens. Family members may tease you or pull your leg, but they would never really laugh at you or look down on you. You can turn to them with your problems and they would never blame you..."

"Like the Elric brothers?", I asked. It sounded suspiciously like them.

 _She_ nodded and continued: "...you can do the most ridiculous stuff together and still not think less of each other. You can tell each other your darkest or most embarrassing secrets and be sure that the other will never tell anyone else. Even though they might tease you for the embarrassing ones in their own way."

I huffed. That didn't sound desirable to me. Although...being able to tell someone my darkest secrets and not be judged for it...that sounded nice.

"A family would do anything for you and you for them. Family members love each other unconditionally, despite all their flaws and mistakes or just because of them. They respect each other, but always remain a tight-knit group that will bear pain and joy together. Family can openly show their feelings towards each other. There are times when they fight and times when they cry, times when they sit together, laugh, sing and tell each other funny stories."

Now that sounded a lot like the Virtues. They were the exact definition of all this.

"...A family trusts each other as unconditionally as they love each other. They know each other and can tell when something is wrong with the other. It doesn't really matter if your family is blood related, even though the blood relations are usually closest. But what makes a family are all the things I just listed. Your relatives could as well be total jerks, your family can be a friend, a lover or generally someone who is close to you."

I sat in silence for a while. After a while I noticed that the bed-ridden blonde was looking at me like she was waiting for me to say something.

So I asked: "You've had a lot of time to think about this, huh?"

 _She_ shrugged: "That happens when you're dying, I guess. You begin to reflect on everything. And since I'm dying so slowly, I have a lot of time on my hand to reflect."

"Aren't you afraid to die?", I asked curiously. It was fascinating how calm she seemed to be.

She smiled: "No. I have faced too many hardships to be afraid. Dying as slowly and painfully as I am right now is what I was afraid of, when I got sick. But the closer death comes, the more I welcome it."

Now that was something I was familiar with. Even though most people were afraid of death, many people I had seen die had accepted that with admirable dignity. And once dead, their faces had been strangely calm. Unless they had died in terror or agony, those humans always had this peaceful look on their faces. Like they were just sleeping. Sometimes they even smiled.

I had never understood why.

"So...", I spoke up after a while. "All the things you listed earlier...so that's what family is?"

 _The woman_ nodded. "Yes. That is family."

I grimaced. "That is such a human concept...such a human thing to want."

 _But you want it anyway, Envy. You're jealous of the Virtues and the Elrics being a family and you know it. You wish you and the other Sins were one, even though you know that'll never be._

Don't you just hate it when that annoying voice in your head tells you things you don't want to hear?

 _She_ chuckled, much to my confusion. "Well, the Virtues are a family. And Ed told me that they're homunculi. So it's not without appeal for you either, right?"

I couldn't argue with that.

"I never had anything like that", I admitted, "Must be nice. That makes me wonder just the more: why do you choose death over that? You only have one life and you throw it away. For what?"

 _She_ raised an eyebrow. "I already told you."

"That's a stupid reason to die!", I hissed, then I realised how loud I was and lowered my voice. "You want to make way for a mystery person you think would be better for your man than you are? Don't give me that! Does that person even love him back?!"

"He will", _she_ answered confidently, "If he doesn't already."

So it's a male. Good, now I can narrow it down...

I ran my finger through my black hair, groaning frustratedly. "Y'know, I'm not trying to change your mind..."

"You would fail anyway", _she_ stated drily.

Annoyed at the interruption I continued: "...I really just wanted to know why. And now that I know...I just wanted to make you realise how ridiculous your decision is."

Sadly I looked out of the window.

"Do you even know what you're giving up?"

"Be assured, I do."

"Y'know...I've never missed anyone before. But I think I'll miss you." I grinned. "Especially how you threw that wrench at people. It was always so fun to watch."

 _She_ chuckled amusedly: "Of course you would enjoy my random outbursts of violence. Speaking of my lucky wrench, you still have it, right?"

I laughed awkwardly: "Oh yeah...hehe. Forgot to give it back."

"Keep it."

"Really? Are you serious?" That got me excited. Oh, the things I will do with that thing!

 _She_ smiled broadly: "Yes. But in return, do me a favour."

"What favour?", I asked suspiciously. I had a feeling I wasn't going to like it.

"Ed will be completely out of himself when I'm gone. Take care of him and the kids for me."

No way! I will _not_ be the keeper of that ex-pipsqueak and his little pipsqueaks!

"...Fine."

What the fuck! I was doing it again! Truth, what am I getting myself into this time...

"And smack him with the wrench when he goes into a funk."

I smirked, now that was a request that I liked. "Gladly."

The sheer gratitude on her face made it almost glow in the moonlight. It was almost beautiful.

"Thank you, Envy."

"Sure, Winry."

I froze as soon as the words had left my mouth. Had I...had I just called _her_ by her name?!

If possible, her smile became even broader. She had offered me to call her by her first name months ago, but I had never done so. To me, she was always ' _She_ '.

And now I had called her-

Why did her name roll off my tongue so easily?

That woman really was something else. I could see why the ex-pipsqueak had married her. Suddenly I didn't even mind any-more. And that was strangely soothing.

I smiled back at her. Not grinned, really smiled. A small, genuine smile.

I couldn't remember when I had done that the last time, but it was nice.

We sat in comfortable silence for the rest of the night, until _sh_ \- until _Winry_ finally fell asleep.

I silently went over to the window, locked it and closed the curtains. Then I resumed my previous position. I might as well stay here. Just to make sure she didn't die in her sleep, of course.

That sure had been sappy. But there had been something about this moment and I'd make sure to never forget it. I had never been so at peace with everything, even if it was just for this one brief moment. Perhaps this was why so many humans looked peaceful when they died.

And I had experienced that thanks to someone I had hated at first.

 _That woman is perfect for him...can't see why he would love anyone else..._

Pensively I looked down on the slumbering woman in front of me.

Is that what having a friend feels like...?

 **Envy has a deep talk with Winry. 'Nuff said.**


	29. The morning after

**Chapter twenty-seven: The morning after**

*Kindness's POV*

When I came into the sickroom the next morning, I was greeted with an odd sight: Mrs. Elric was peacefully sleeping, but that wasn't the oddity here. Beside her sat a certain androgynous, black-haired Sin, also sleeping deeply.

The scene was so utterly surreal that I had to stifle my laughter.

It was cute, so I decided not to disturb them and silently left the room. Just as I wanted to close the door, Edward came around the corner.

"How is Winry?", he asked, quietly, because I hate it, when people are loud aroud my patients.

I grinned and motioned for him to peek through the door.

Edward's eyes couldn't grow any larger, when he saw the figure that was slouched next to his wife. He too struggled to keep in his laughter and quickly looked elsewhere, before he woke them up.

"What are you grinning at?" Selim – no, Pride, the shadows were out – came down the stairs, still in his pyjamas, because it was still pretty early. I pointed at the door to the sickroom and Pride peeked in curiously. Upon seeing the scene there, he smirked and went back upstairs, only to return with a camera in his right hand.

"Are they still asleep?", he asked and Edward nodded.

The oldest Sin smirked devilishly. "Perfect." The childlike homunculus snuck in and a quiet click was heard. Then the boy snuck back outside, holding a photograph in his left hand.

It showed his younger brother/sister sleeping at Winry's bedside.

Pride chuckled evilly: "Best blackmail material of all times!"

"You're not really going to blackmail him with that photo, are you?", I asked worriedly.

"Oh, I won't tell anyone. I can't humiliate my fellow homunculi now, can I? Besides..."

His wicked grin softened into something that I had ever seen on him before, except when he was around Mrs. Bradley; a fond smile.

"...I've known Envy ever since he was born, but I've never seen him look so peaceful."

Pride tucked the photo away in his pyjama pocket and went back upstairs. "Now I'll take a nice hot bath. It's still early, so I'll have some time before my siblings make a needless ruckus up there. I'll greet mother and Wrath later at the breakfast table."

*Edward's POV*

Kindness grinned after her younger sibling, then she turned to me. "Your wife should be fine for now, so I'll be in the kitchen preparing breakfast for you all."

I nodded and turned back to the sickroom. I opened the door a little bit more and quietly stepped in. Silently, I stopped in front of the bed, looking at the odd scenery before I.

Pride was right. Envy, that psychotic homicidal homunculus, looked strangely peaceful in his sleep, like an innocent child. And he was sleeping next to Winry of all the people.

This sight was so absurd, so utterly surreal, but at the same time it was unspeakably beautiful. I fixed Winry's cover as silently as possible, then allowed myself to tuck a stray strand of black hair out of Envy's face, before leaving the room.

*Envy's POV*

As soon as I heard the door close, I opened my eyes, blinked and sat up.

 _Did someone just stroke my hair...?_

Judging by the sound of the steps that had just left, it must have been Edward. He probably had come to check on his wife and seen me sleep here. I blushed: someone has seen me like that! Ahhh, my reputation was ruined! That ex-pipsqueak better not tell anyone! Wait...he had stroked my hair! Oh god...

 **In which Pride is a paparazzo, Ed cares a little too much and Envy is a tsundere.**


	30. Now my day is completely fucked!

**Chapter twenty-eight: My day is completely fucked!**

*Edward's POV*

It was an odd group of four that sat in the car on their way to Central. Diligence was driving, I sat on the passengers seat and in the back sat Lust and Envy.

Diligence had said that she had business to attend to in Central and because she liked to have company on the long drive, she had asked who wanted to come along and the three of us had volunteered.

I suspected that Envy was so eager to join us on the trip because he could get around his house arrest this way. Oh wait, he had actually confirmed that, after Greed had picked on him for volunteering so eagerly. The only way for the shapeshifter to get out was in the company of a Virtue and so he gladly came along.

Why Lust was coming along, I wasn't sure. Unlike Envy, she could go out whenever she wanted, provided she wore the gloves that prevented her from extending her fingers. She often went to East City for a day trip, usually with Temperance, Chastity or Humility and Pride. Lust had no reason to go to Central, so why? Maybe it was for nostalgic reasons.

Both sins were wearing human clothes. Black trench-coats, Lust was wearing a long red dress and a white scarf, while Envy was wearing dark green skin-tight pants and a button-up shirt of the same colour. Lust wore her hair in a bun, Envy his in a pony tail.

"I hope no one recognises us", Envy stated, "I don't want get roasted again."

"Nor do I", Lust agreed, "I hope this is enough – we already look unlike us in these human clothes."

I tried to pacify them: "Come on, it's been thirteen years and not many people knew about you back then anyway. No one will know who you are."

The black-haired homunculi looked at me doubtfully, but nodded.

"So", Diligence changed the topic, "Aside from what I have to do, do you guys have any plans? Surely you're not coming along just to join me in my sinister quest, huh?"

"Sinister quest?", Envy piped up with interest.

Diligence shrugged: "Oh, just some illegal substances I have to buy. You know, drugs, Philosopher's Stones, weapons..."

I frowned: "You know, you're pretty unscrupulous for a Virtue."

She shrugged again: "Well, that comes with being the errand girl, messenger and generally being the one to do the dirty work. The only other Virtue who can bring herself to is Humility, but because of her frailty, I have to do most of it. If anyone can get work done the most efficient way possible, it's me. Sometimes that includes methods that aren't quite so kosher. Besides – it's not like I take delight in other people's misery. I don't kill or hurt anyone unless it's really necessary. Just because I'm a Virtue doesn't mean I'm all sunshine and rainbows, if you get my drift."

"Can I ask you something?", I asked.

"Sure."

"Just what do you have in that camisole of yours? You always seem to produce all kinds of stuff from it." I had wanted to ask her that question for ages.

Diligence thought for a moment: "Well, let's see...I have my ID, my business card, my driver's license, my pocket watch, my tool box, my ammunition and my sedative darts. And under my skirt, I have my sniper rifle, my dart rifle, my purse and some other stuff a girl needs."

I gulped: "How can you even hide all that stuff?! You know what...you kinda remind me of a mixture between Hawkeye, Winry and Bradley..."

" _She_ reminds you of _him_?!", Lust and Envy cried out in unison, pointing at the little ginger on the driver's seat.

Said ginger pouted: "Aw, you guys are so mean! Am I not badass enough to remind someone of Fuhrer Bradley? I'm hurt!"

"We didn't say that", Lust back-pedalled.

Envy agreed: "You _are_ badass! Just in a different way."

Now that was strangely diplomatic out of his mouth...

And it was funny how they avoided pissing her off. Then again, with her superstrength...

Diligence grinned pleasantly. "Soooo", she drawled, "What are you going to do in Central now, huh? Tell me, I wanna know!"

Lust thought for a moment. "Hmmm...I was hoping I could do some shopping. Charity was so nice to give me some money and I really need more clothes, my wardrobe is so empty."

In the mirror I saw a WTF-faced Envy, which had to mean that the opposite was the case.

But hey, most women thought like that, so no surprise there.

I looked out of the window. "I was hoping I could visit Gracia Hughes and Elysia. I haven't seen them in a while."

I risked a look into the mirror and saw that Envy had turned away, his hair shielding his face from their view. Lust seemed to be uncomfortable at the memory of what happened back then.

Perhaps they don't regret it, but they sure as hell aren't proud of it any-more. That's comforting.

"And you, Envy?", the Virtue asked to break the awkward silence.

Envy shrugged: "I guess I'll just stick with you, Freckles."

Diligence grinned and agreed to take him along. "Sure. You have no other choice anyway."

"What will you buy anyway?", I asked her, "You said once that you usually steal the stuff you mentioned earlier."

She smiled: "Only if there's no other way to get them. I prefer to aquire them in a more honest manner. And I happen to have a few...acquaintances who owe me a favour. For a few cens, they get me whatever items or information I want."

"Sounds expensive. How do you pay for all of that?", Lust inquired curiously. Good question.

"Oh, usually either out of my own pocket or I get the money from Humility, Chastity or Charity. Today I got it from somewhere else, though."

"Where?", Envy wanted to know.

A chesire cat grin crept onto the redhead's face: "I stole it from Greed."

We looked incredulously at the ginger-haired homunculus, who was grinning from ear to ear. Then we all burst into laughter.

*Meanwhile...(Narrator's POV)*

Greed was absolutely not happy when he looked into his purse and saw that almost half of his money was gone.

"AAAAHHHH! WHO DID THIS! WHO STOLE MY MONEY! I WILL KILL THEM!"

He only stopped yelling when Mrs. Bradley knocked him out with a frying pan from behind, much to the amusement of Wrath, Pride, Charity and Mei Chang.

*Back to our quartet (Edward's POV)*

When we arrived in Central, Diligence let Lust get off in front of a cloth shop ("I'll pick you up in three hours") and dropped me off in front of the Hughes residence ("Three hours, Edward – don't forget!"), before leaving off to her own business with Envy in tow.

I smiled and knocked at the door. It was opened by Gracia Hughes. Her face brightened up when she recognised me and she invited me in, only to be glomped by an overjoyed 15-year-old Elysia.

"It's been far too long since you've visited us", Gracia chided me playfully, "Come, sit down. I will bring some orange juice and cake. You have to tell us everything that has happened so far."

*Lust's POV*

I looked around. The cloth shop was pretty expensive and although Charity had given me a generous allowance for today, I wanted to spend my money carefully. Most of the clothes here weren't really my thing, but there was no harm in taking a closer look.

A particular dress caught my eye – but not in a positive way. I frowned – what the hell had the designer been thinking, combining fire red and pastel green?! Urgh, my eyes! Not to mention the price was absolutely audacious! I resisted the temptation to take off those damn white gloves and slice that revolting piece of fabric into pieces. The dress next to it on the other hand...

I tilted my head and took a red wrap dress with golden patterns into my hand. So much better. It was almost as expensive as the ugly dress, but Truth, I _needed_ to have that one! One hour later, I had gathered said dress, a black velvet one, several silk scarves, black stockings, other clothes a beautiful woman just needed to have and some for Pride, because the new clothes Mrs. Bradley had bought him were _unforgivable_.

When I was about to go and try them on, I heard someone enter the shop. I turned to look who it was – and froze: the newcomers were none other than Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye!

Regaining my spirits, I quickly turned my back to them and hurried to the dressing cabins.

I tried to calm herself down, but the memory of the unbearable pain he had put me through before killing me made it nearly impossible.

 _Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Just think of what Pride would say if he saw you like this!_

The thought of a pissed off Pride actually _did_ help.

Then I heard them talk.

"You should try this on, Hawkeye."

"Sir, I'm not afraid to shoot you in a cloth shop."

Her voice was cold, obviously Mustang was showing her something she didn't like. Curiosity got the best of me and I allowed myself to peek between the curtain. I almost snorted, when I saw Hawkeye pointing a gun at a perplexed Mustang who was holding a mini-skirt. An ugly one. No wonder his companion (or girlfriend, according to Envy) was pointing a gun at him. I knew that Mustang was the kind of person who liked legs over breasts, but this was just bull. The Elrics had said something about that man wanting all women in the Military to wear mini-skirts (Wrath had looked like he wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or kill).

I quickly closed the curtain before they saw me.

After I had tried all clothes on (they fit perfectly, except for one shirt that didn't fit my bust size), I snuck out and went to the cashier to pay. Of course, the human looked me up and down and blushed bright scarlet at my breasts. Seriously, can these humans never look anywhere else? And to top it off, the cashier was a woman!

I ended up having to pay only half the price I would have paid normally. Unfortunately, on my way out I had to pass by Mustang and Hawkeye. I pulled my hat deeply into my face, hoping that they wouldn't notice me.

However, when I passed them, they turned around to look at me and Hawkeye's eyes met mine.

One glance, a flash of recognition.

We exchanged a look, then the blonde looked away. I proceeded walking towards the exit.

But then Mustang said something that almost made me stop dead in my tracks.

"Doesn't that woman remind you of someone?"

"The one who just walked by?", Hawkeye responded, "No, who should she remind me of?"

"She reminded me a lot of Lust...she sure looks a lot like her." His voice sounded suspicious.

I felt my very core freeze. He had recognised me!

Hawkeye chuckled: "If so, I would have noticed too. I was there, remember? Now, why don't you go to the men's section and choose something for yourself, Sir?"

The Flame Alchemist went to the back of the shop, going through the shirts, his back to us.

I turned to the Leutenant and we exchanged another glance of mutual understanding.

 _Thank you._

 _You're welcome. But you should leave._

 _Don't worry, I was doing that anyway._

Then I left the shop and went down the streets without looking back.

*Envy's POV*

"So, why are we standing here like complete idiots?", I asked Diligence for the third time now.

The ginger was slowly but certainly losing her patience, although it was from my nagging or from the waiting, I wasn't quite sure.

"Because the bastard is ten minutes late", Diligence muttered, checking her pocket watch. "I'm gonna get him for this – wonder who's the slacker they sent this time. Gosh, I hate it when they're late. They better have a good excuse."

Suddenly there was loud hooting and a red car stopped near us. I facepalmed. Red? Seriously? That colour practically screams for attention!

"Ah, finally!" Diligence put her watch away. I followed her glance and saw an arm wave at us.

Obviously Freckles recognised that arm, because she facepalmed.

She groaned: "Oh my god, anyone but you, _anyone_ but you! ALRIGHT ALREADY!"

I frowned. "Impatient one, isn't he?"

The girl grimaced: "You have no idea, bro. Come, let's get in, before he starts hooting again."

We got into the car, only to be greeted by music that wasn't just deafeningly loud, but also absolutely cringe-worthy. My ears begged for mercy and I covered them to save my hearing.

I threw a look at Diligence that said: _The fuck is this?!_

The ginger looked back like: _The crap those youngsters listens to nowadays._

She couldn't be serious! People listen to that crap?! Oh well, they obviously did, otherwise it wouldn't be coming on the radio. Gha!

The man on the driver's seat switched it off, much to my relief, and turned to look at my sister.

It was a brunet young man with a pimply face and three-days-stubble. Ew.

"Yo, whazzup Gabby, here for stones and crack?" Oh god, that voice. Double ew. And "Gabby"?! He couldn't be serious! And what was with that slang?!

Diligence scoffed: "Crack? Is it fuckin' amateur hour?"

"Hell no!"

"Give me the stones, the narcotics, the painkillers, that fucking new dart gun, the ammunition for my sniper rifle and the military information I ordered!"

 _Whoa! What is she, an assassin?!_

"Ohhh, so Gabby goes with the total package, alrighty, gotcha covered!"

 _Stop calling her Gabby, jackass! Her human name is Gabrielle Angel, goddammit!_

He handed her a big package from the passengers seat that said "Fragile" (transporting it as glass – what an amateur!), she handed it to me and motioned to the human to start driving, which he did.

Diligence opened the package and checked the quantity and quality of the ware, then nodded in approval. "Yup. Everything just like I ordered it."

"Yeah, no prob, but who the fuck is that trans with ya?"

Oh no, he didn't! He did not just call me a fucking transvestite! My blood boiled at the insult, but Diligence put a hand on my shoulder.

"That 'trans' is my little brother", she stated coldly, "Now apologise to him or else."

"Bitch, please, I'm a grown man, the fuck's your tiny ass gonna do?"

Could you get any more audacious?! I wanted to kill him so bad!

But Freckles didn't need my help to deal with this. She seized the human's neck from behind.

"I could easily snap your neck or strangle you, Douchey MacDoucheface!", she purred into his ear. "Don't make me fucking kill you."

Douchey MacDoucheface? I couldn't decide what was funnier, that insult or the murderous voice she talked to him with! The look on his face made me snicker sardonically. He backed down immediately: "Whoa! Okay, okay, I'm sorry, yeesh! Calm the fuck down! By the way, we're back!"

"About fucking time, fatass!", the ginger scoffed.

Took the words right out of my mouth, sister!

"Fuck you, Gabby!", the man retorted and stopped at the point where he had picked us up.

We got off, me carrying that heavy package, and Diligence paid her price.

The deliverer counted the money and frowned. "No tip?"

I fumed – that revolting piece of human filth wanted a _tip_?! Really?!

"You didn't earn it. Now piss off!", the Virtue spat.

The human stuck his tongue at her and drove off, leaving behind two very irritated homunculi.

"That scumbag!", I growled.

Diligence sighed: "Yeh, he's a fucking douchebag. Why they let him deliver is a mystery. That's the stuff I deal with on a regular basis."

I stared at her. I knew that this little ginger has nerves of steel, she's the fucking incarnation of zeal after all, but having to deal with this...?

"How haven't you lost your mind yet?"

The female homunculus chuckled: "Iron discipline."

She took the package from my arms and proceeded walking towards our car.

"Let's go and collect the others. I wanna know what they've been doing!", she cheerfully cried.

I dragged my hand down my face.

Good grief...

*Edward's POV*

"...And that's why I wonder how I haven't lost my mind yet", I ended my report.

Gracia smiled sympathetically: "Oh dear. That must be so stressful. Having to deal with fourteen homunculi and your family situation."

Her smile vanished. "I'm sorry about Winry", she said sadly, "She's like a big sister to Elysia and we will be sad when she dies."

I smiled weakly. "I know."

Suddenly our conversation was interrupted by loud hooting from outside. I looked out of the window to see Chastity's car and Diligence in front of it, waving at me impatiently.

I turned to Gracia: "Sorry, I must go. That's my ride and she really doesn't like to wait."

Hughes' widow smiled gently. "Of course. Come by to visit us again soon."

I grinned. "I'll definitely stop by, even if it's just for your cooking!"

Gracia laughed, I gave Elysia a big hug and then hurried outside, before Diligence could drag me to the car by my hair, which she would do without a doubt.

When I sat in the car, I asked Envy: "So, how was your little trip with Diligence?"

I saw Diligence look at us in the mirror curiously, obviously she wanted to know his opinion too.

Envy seemed like he was looking for words, but finally said: "It would have been enjoyable had it not been for that worm who delivered her package."

I sighed: "Is there any human you _don't_ regard as a worm?"

His answer made Diligence go 'Awww!' and made me smile: "...You."

*Lust's POV*

I have to admit, now I understand why Envy loves chocolate parfait so much.

After that horrible experience in the shop, this and the cherry ice cream had been just what I needed to soothe my nerves. Not to mention it tasted delicious.

When I had just paid and given a generous tip, I saw Chastity's car stop in front of the café and recognised the ever so punctual red-haired teen at the driving wheel. I smiled a little. One simply has to admire Diligence's flawless timing.

I walked outside and to the car with my two shopping bags. Diligence jumped outside and opened the trunk, so I could store my bags inside before taking my seat.

The freckled ginger closed the trunk and returned to the driver's seat, then started the car.

Just as we had left Central, Envy and I opened our hair and swooshed it around to get it like it usually was. Ahhh, freedom! It was good to get rid of that bun that had made me look so old.

"So Envy and I got everything I came here for", Diligence reported, "The package was complete, the quality was top. But unfortunately it was delivered by a fugly dipshit."

I tried not to think too hard on where the messenger of the Virtues got all that strong language from.

"He called me a fucking trans", Envy growled and I put a comforting hand on his shoulder. He may be genderless, or androgynous in this shape, but being called a transvestite still pisses him off.

I saw Edward Elric wince in the passengers seat. "Did anyone die?", he asked.

Envy shook his head. "No, Freckles didn't let me kill him." He smirked: "She did scare the hell outta him though." He started to snicker: "You should have heard the insults she threw at him! It was just precious! I so wish I could have recorded it! And then she refused him a tip."

Yes, there was no doubt about that.

Diligence shrugged: "I give extras to people who earn it and he didn't, because he acted like an arsehole. Also, he called me a tiny ass and a bitch. And he wanted to sell me crack."

"Why did he call you 'Gabby' anyway?", Envy asked her curiously.

Diligence rolled her eyes. "I allow my friends to call me Gabby as a nick and for some reason that jackass thinks he's my friend too. Seriously, can't he tell by my behaviour that I can't stand him?"

"No, because that human filth is too stupid", Envy scoffed.

I decided to stay silent and just feasted my eyes on the death glare Edward threw at Envy.

"Oh yeah?", the older Elric brother snapped, "Well, your hairstyle is even stupider!"

I grinned and awaited the inevitable fight. Explosion in three...two...one...

"THE FUCK DID YOU SAY, SHITFACE?!"

"YOU HEARD ME, YOU FUCKING FATASS!"

"FATASS?! OH NOW YOU'RE GONNA GET IT, PIPSQUEAK!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO SIT IN THE FRONT?!"

"YOU, YOU OLD GEEZER!"

"OH NO, YOU DID _NOT_ JUST CALL ME OLD! AND I'M TALLER THAN YOU!"

"I CAN SHAPESHIFT MYSELF TALLER ANYTIME, YOU WORM!"

Suddenly, Diligence hit the brakes full force and Edward and Envy were thrown forward (because they hadn't buckled their seat belts) and crashed against the front window. How did the glass not shatter from the impact? The sight of the human and my brother/sister sprawled across the front almost made me laugh.

"Alright, boys", Diligence sighed irritatedly, "As funny as your childish bickering is, I will not, and I repeat, _not_ have you start a brawl in my sister's car, for if you do, you will _walk_ the rest of the way home. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal", Edward groaned, rubbing his nose.

Envy crawled back to his seat, nursing his forehead. "Ow...that fucking hurt!"

 _Your own fault, my dear sibling!_

Our older sister glared at him in the mirror. "Your fault, Envy. That's what seat belts are for."

Then she turned to me: "So, how was _your_ time alone?"

I smiled pleasantly: "Oh, it was actually very enjoyable. As you saw earlier, I got quite a few additions to my wardrobe."

The ginger chuckled: "Yeah, I saw. I'm surprised you actually got that much for your budget."

I raised my arms and grinned smugly: "Why not, Charity gave me quite a generous allowance. Also, never doubt a woman's ability to make the best of her money."

"Good point. Still though. That's some pretty expensive stuff you got there. Anyway, I saw you in that café when I picked you up. What did you have, I'm curious!"

I winked: "Well, let's just say now I understand why Envy here likes chocolate parfait so much."

*Edward's POV*

The shapeshifter grinned from ear to ear and I could practically see his mood brighten up.

"No way!", the androgynous teen cried, "What convinced you to try it?"

Lust's mischievous smile faded and became pained. "Let's just say...I had an unpleasant encounter and needed something to soothe my nerves."

"...Oh." Envy's grin vanished and was replaced by a frown."Did that 'unpleasant encounter' by any chance involve a certain pyromaniac alchemist and his trigger-happy girlfriend?"

In the mirror, I saw Lust bite her lip.

She must have met Mustang and Hawkeye, I realised. And Envy could tell, because...

"Yes", Lust said quietly. "And worse, she recognised me. He almost did too..."

Oh fuck. I hope Hawkeye was as forgiving to her as with Envy.

"She let me get away and convinced him it wasn't me, but...oh god..."

I have never seen the female Sin lose her composure. That made the tremble in her voice just the more disturbing. I couldn't help the sting of compassion it gave me.

Diligence stared at the road ahead of her with a sombre expression and stayed quiet.

"Lust." Envy's voice was strangely gentle, which was...well, it was surreal. "Come here."

She looked a bit confused, but slid over, he opened his arms and embraced her.

I never would have pinned him capable of such a gentle, sensitive gesture.

"It's alright", the jealous Sin murmured into her ear, when she tensed up, "It's okay. I promise. You can let it all out. Just let it go. No one will judge you. No one else will know."

A shock of wavy black hair sank onto his shoulder, she began to shiver and then quiet sobbing came from the back. Envy said nothing, he just held her tightly and rubbed circles on her back to calm her down, as his older sister cried the pain of her traumatic memories out. Lust's hair hid Envy's face from my view, but I could still imagine the sorrowful expression on that immaculate, pale face.

And why the fuck was I thinking of his face like that? I mentally slapped myself. Concentrate!

I felt helpless. I can't stand to see people cry, no matter who it is, and I really wanted to help, but when I opened my mouth to say something, Diligence grabbed my arm with her free hand, shook her head and put a finger to her lips.

Don't say a word.

So I remained silent.

*Envy's POV*

"Feeling better?", I asked, when my sister had stopped crying and was drying her face with a paper tissue Diligence had passed over. Lust hiccuped and blew her nose once more, then nodded. "Yes. Now I'm feeling better."

I snatched myself a paper tissue to dry my tear-soaked clothes.

"Good. Can't have our siblings see ya like a nervous wreck, right?"

She chuckled weakly. "No, I guess we can't."

I laughed drily: "Imagine what Pride would say!" Everyone shuddered, when I mimicked Pride's voice: "'How dare you show emotions and lower yourself to those weak, pathetic creatures! I never want to see my own sister this weak again! What a disgrace!'"

Lust's rich, deep laughter filled the car. "Yes, that sounds like something he would say!"

I smiled. It was so good to see my sister back to her old sultry and sarcastic self. However...

I threw a sharp glare at the two people in the front: "Okay, just to make this clear. None of you two. Has seen. A thing. You didn't witness this, get it?"

I saw Edward and Diligence smirk at each other.

"Didn't witness what?", the ex-pipsqueak asked innocently, tilting his head.

"Don't worry guys, what happens in the car, stays in the car", Diligence assured me.

I leaned back. "Purrrrfect", I purred in the most sultry tone I could manage.

Lust and Diligence smirked and...was that a blush on the ex-pipsqueak's face? Now that's interesting! I'll have to investigate!

Diligence chuckled bitterly, making me look at her questioningly. "We all had a just lovely trip, didn't we?", she commented sarcastically and we all nodded.

Lust smirked: "And Greed is going to get you, when we're home."

The Virtue groaned: "Damn, you just had to remind me, huh? Now my day is completely fucked!"

I could only laugh.

 **Filler chapter! Because why the hell not! And because I'm evil. Mostly a comic relief chapter, mixed with some angst, because Mustang is there and Lust is on edge.**


	31. How was your day?

**Chapter twenty-nine: How was your day?**

*Edward's POV*

When we arrived at home, the sun was low and the sky was shining in beautiful colours. Sunsets are just the most amazing thing ever, the way the evening sun paints the sky around it in gold, purple, red, violet, pink...all these marvellous colours that no painter and no photographer could ever hope to catch in all their perfection.

Today was a particularly beautiful sunset and I couldn't stop feasting my eyes on it. So, when we went towards the house, I sat down in the wicker chair at the front porch and watched.

When Envy passed by me, I tore my eyes off those majestic colours for a moment to see something really weird. Envy turned around to look at the setting sun. For a moment, his face was a blank mask, before turning into a scowl and turning away.

I couldn't help but chuckle. He was jealous of the sunset! That was just cute...oh what are we gonna do with you, Envy?

The homunculus heard me snicker and glowered at me. "What are you laughing at?"

"Oh, nothing major", I smirked, "It's just funny how that sight is enough to piss you off."

For a second, Envy's jaw dropped to the ground, before he leapt at me and seized me by the collar. "I'M NOT JEALOUS OF THAT FUCKING SUNSET!", he roared furiously.

I ignored the ringing in my ears and grinned smugly: "I didn't say anything like that."

"AAARRGH! YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

I ignored the insult towards my mother and watched as Envy let go of me, only to tear at his own hair, making me and the two female homunculi behind me burst into laughter.

"Shut up!" the shapeshifter yelled angrily and rushed towards the house.

*Lust's POV*

"Hey Envy", I called after him and he turned around. "Yeah?"

"I want to talk to you after dinner", I told him and he huffed. "Sure, whatever."

I turned to Edward: "You really do understand him, don't you?"

"I guess", he sighed, "I just wish he wasn't so ashamed of that."

"Give him time", I advised him, "He will accept it sooner or later."

"I hope you're right...I want to help, but he pushes me away. I hate it." He entered the house.

I looked after him. Then Diligence, who was carrying her heavy package full of the things she had acquired, appeared next to me.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, older sister?", I asked smirking.

She smirked back: "If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, my little sister, then yes."

*Edward's POV*

I entered the sickroom and found Winry awake and talking to Kindness. They stopped their talk when they noticed me.

"I will leave you two alone now", Kindness excused himself and left discreetly.

I sat down on her bed and smiled. "How's my favourite gearhead today?"

"How's my favourite alchemy freak?", Winry retorted with a grin.

I just chuckled, I wasn't in the mood to get pissed.

Winry smiled. "How was your day in Central?"

I laughed: "Oh you won't believe how fucked up that trip was!"

*Patience's POV*

I entered the music room to find Envy plunking listlessly random melodies on the piano, with a grumpy expression.

"Oh, you guys are back! I didn't know you play the piano, Envy! How was your day?"

Envy turned around.

Oh dear, if looks could kill...well, I still wouldn't be dead, because I'm a homunculus.

"As fucked up as you can expect with a group like us!", the Sin spat.

I sweatdropped.

*Lust's POV*

I was just about to go upstairs, when I felt the baleful presence of my older brother behind me.

I turned around to see him linger in the doorway to the library, dressed in his sunday clothes.

"Hello, Pride", I greeted him, "Did you have a good day?"

"Indeed. Mother took me and Wrath out on a picknic. But I could ask you the same", the oldest Sin responded, "In fact, Selim would like to know too; how was _your_ day in Central, little sister?"

"Not without profit", I chuckled and held up the bags in my hands.

Pride smiled: "You seem to be very light-hearted today. You must have had a very good day. Are there any details you would like to tell your big brother?"

Three hundred years of existence and I was still not used to my older brother being a little boy.

"I will never get used to a little boy calling himself my older brother", I sighed.

Pride chuckled: "Blame Father for thinking that giving me the body of a child as container would be a good idea. But see it this way. I soon will cease to be one. My body is already older than it was in my last life, because Selim is growing up like a human. I'll stop the aging process once he's an adult. So, what about the juicy details I want you to tell me? I'm all ears!"

Seeing that Pride's smile was sincere, I decided that I could risk a little humour.

"Sorry, but no can do. This is woman's business."

Pride mocked a disappointed pout. "Aww. Such a shame. Oh well, I will find out anyway."

There was no doubt that my older brother would find out what had happened sooner or later, but that didn't mean he had to know just yet.

I smiled innocently and was about to carry my stuff upstairs, when Pride grabbed my wrist.

"Allow me", he said with a grin, took my bags and carried them himself. "I can't let my little sister carry such heavy bags all by herself."

I chuckled: "My, aren't you a gentleman today. By the way, I got something for you too."

"That's kind of you", the older homunculus replied and added jokingly: "I hope what you got me is better than those hideous wests and pants mother bought for Selim last week."

I grinned: "Don't worry, I know my brothers' tastes."

*Humility's POV*

I looked up from my book when Diligence passed by in the hallway.

"Welcome back, little sister", I greeted casually.

"Hi, Humility!", Diligence cried cheerfully and brought her package into her room. When she had taken out the painkillers she had bought and was about to go back downstairs, I stopped her.

"How was your day?"

The ginger shrugged: "Aw, so lala. Had to deal with an arsehole. Some bitch."

"That's a shame. Will you tell me what happened?"

"Later, okay? Just let me deliver those painkillers to Kindness. For Winry, y'know."

"Sure. Oh, and ere I forget it, Greed wants to talk to you about the money you stole from him."

The younger Virtue gaped at me. "You told him?!"

I grinned from ear to ear.

Diligence's response was heard in the entire mansion. "HUMILITY! YOU BETRAYER!"

Followed by my laughter, because this was just too funny.

 **Envy being a tsundere. And sibling bonding, hooray! Also, Humility is trollin', Diligence is hatin'.**


	32. Did you miss me?

**Chapter thirty: Did you miss me?**

*Envy's POV*

I hadn't joined the others at the dinner table. I wanted to be alone and ponder on my entire situation. Not to mention all the things I had learned from _her_ a few nights ago.

I groaned and leaned against the wall. Why does this new life have to be so complicated?

Perhaps I should kill myself again. No one would miss me anyway.

Oh great, now I was being an emo bitch again.

"Envy?"

Lust was standing in the door, looking at me with what could have been concern, but I wasn't sure, because it was too dark and the moonlight didn't reach to the door.

Wait...how did she get in? I could swear that I locked the door!

"Hey", I said tiredly. Looking at her hands, I noticed one of her fingers shrinking back to normal. Oh. So that was how.

"Come in", I offered, realising that she had been waiting for permission to enter. She came in and stood a few steps away from me, without closing the door, but I was too down to give a damn.

"You weren't at dinner", Lust noted with worry.

I proceeded staring out of the window. "Not hungry."

"I know, but you can't sit here and mope all the time. Some company would have done you good."

The only answer she received was a morose grunt.

"I wanted to talk to you earlier", Lust reminded me.

"Yeah, I haven't forgotten", I stated in a no-nonsense manner.

"I only have a question for you. It's a small one, but it means a lot to me."

"What is it?", I asked curiously.

I more felt than saw her intense stare. "Envy, tell me: when I was gone, did you miss me?"

That question caught me by surprise and I didn't know what to say or do.

I knew that she couldn't see my face; it was hidden by my long hair.

For a while there was icy silence.

Then an expression appeared on her face I never wanted to see on my older sister again: complete and utter heartbreak – or stonebreak in our case, homunculi have no heart.

"I see", she mumbled and turned to leave, "I'll be going then. Sorry I bothered you."

Before I knew it, I was leaping forward and grabbed her wrist.

She looked at me questioningly.

"Yes", I panted out. Finally I could talk and now the words just flowed out of my mouth.

"Yes. Yes, yes, yes. I missed you. I missed you so fucking much, sister! You have no fucking idea how much I missed you! Nothing was right without you! It was so empty without you there."

I began to tremble, but I didn't care. I had to get this off my chest.

"So often I stood in front of the mirror and turned into you – just to see my sister again! And I hugged myself, imagining it was you! But it wasn't the same...I kept acting like myself and so did the others, but fuck, I missed you so much. I missed the teasing, your sultry voice, your smartass attitude, I missed the way I could always talk to you and you would listen – you're the only one I can do that with! And suddenly you were gone, because that fucking bastard..."

Lust wrapped her arms around me and held me tightly, just like I had done to her earlier.

"Go ahead", she whispered into my ear and I shuddered, as she repeated the words I had said to her earlier: "It's okay. I promise. You can let it all out. Just let it go. No one will judge you."

It was more than I could handle. I collapsed onto her shoulder and cried my pain out.

Choked sobs racked my body and I clung to my sister to keep from falling.

"I missed you so fucking much...", I bawled and tightened my grip. "Lust..."

"Shhhh", she cooed and stroked my hair. "I'm here now. I'm back for good and I will never leave you behind again", she promised.

"That's good to hear."

*Selim's POV*

I thought it was so touching to see that Lust and Envy loved each other like real siblings should. And they say homunculi can't do that. It's nonsense and I'll make sure that everyone knows. Because no one can tell me that it's not love, when two siblings lie in each other's arms crying and telling the other how much they missed them!

I went up to them and listened, before I made myself known. My voice startled them and when they saw me, they were obviously surprised.

"Don't say a word", I said quietly. Then I wrapped my arms around their waists and hugged the younger siblings of the homunculus I share my body with.

 _I can't believe you're doing this, Selim._

 _Oh shut up, you're the one who should be doing this!_

 _You know that will never happen...but...do me a favour. Tell them something from me..._

"Listen", I whispered. "Pride can't say it himself, but he wants you to know..."

I waited for them to say something and when they didn't, I finished:

"He missed you too."

Lust acknowledged it, while Envy didn't seem to believe his ears.

I looked at him, nodded and continued gently: "All of you."

Pride's voice sounded sad in my head: _I did...I really did..._

*Envy's POV*

We spent the rest of the evening hugging each other like that.

I relaxed against Lust's shoulder and closed my eyes, breathing deeply.

Something that _she_ had told me a few nights ago came to me mind:

 _...Family can openly show their feelings towards each other. There are times when they fight and times when they cry, times when they sit together, laugh, sing and tell each other funny stories..._

My lips curled into what was almost a smile.

 _Thank you, Winry._

 **Yeah, I think that Envy genuinely missed Lust, when she died. I mean, come on! He and Gluttony were always together with her and they were the only ones who actually gave a damn!**


	33. A nightly conversation pt 02

**Chapter thirty-one: Nightly talk pt. 02**

It was sad.

In reality everyone is just waiting for _her_ death. They have acknowledged her decision to refuse to be healed – to die. Even Edward finally puts up with it and tries to make _his wife's_ last days as beautiful as possible. It's almost sweet, but most of all, I envy _her_ for all the attention she gets from the older Elric brother. Okay, it's well-founded: they're married and _she_ sure as hell deserves it, but I still can't help it. I _am_ Envy after all.

Will I miss _her_?

 _She_ knows who I am – what I am. But she doesn't care and I really appreciate that. She looks past all the terrible deeds and sees me for what I really am. No hatred, no anger, no disgust and most of all, no pity. She forgives me. She understands me. Just like her husband. But her understanding is gentler, quieter, more discreet. It's that kind of understanding I can tolerate. I was ashamed of being understood by Edward Elric, but she...she hasn't called me out or anything. What we spoke of that night has remained between us. It was an equivalent exchange. I had started out hating _this woman_ with a burning passion. Hating her for the golden ring on her finger, for all the talents she has, hating her because Edward Elric loves her, because she's the mother of his children, because _she_ gets all the attention _I_ wanted, because even in her last throes, she's still beautiful, kind and loved by all. But then I met her for real...and found that I couldn't hate her any-more. Guess she really _is_ loved by all. What an odd woman.

I don't love her – so much is certain. Homunculi don't love – oh wait, Wrath definitely does. But he's a human based homunculus, so that doesn't count. Pride, though...he can feel affection. Argh!

Anyway, I don't love her. But I like her, care about her and tell her things I'd never tell anyone else. And I know that she enjoys my company – she smiles when I visit her and even when she's too weak to talk, there's no need for words.

I only visit her when no one else was around, which is usually at night, because there's no way I would ever admit openly that I care for a human. Winry Elric has trouble sleeping, despite her frailty and the painkillers, and our nightly talks seem to do her a world of good.

It's the same for me.

I often worry that she will lose her mind before she dies. The thought that _she_ wouldn't recognise me or even her own family any-more is scary. Kindness says that her sickness isn't affecting her brain, but that doesn't do to calm my nerves.

This human is someone special, she has made a misanthropic, murderous, over the top jealous homunculus grow fond of her. Yes, fond, that's the right word. And this homunculus wants her to die that nice, beautiful death that all humans want: peaceful, with a content smile on her face. Truth knows she deserves it.

I chuckled bitterly.

That's why I hate these new human feelings, that's why I had never wanted to get attached to these creatures: it brings nothing but pain. It's painful. This very special human, who maybe, just maybe, is my first friend in this world, will soon no longer be there. She'll be gone and never come back.

I will miss _her_.

 ***Edward's POV***

I didn't understand why Winry was so...peaceful. I didn't get it, no matter how hard I tried. But the more time passed by, the closer she came to dying, the more she looked like she was...content. Like she was at peace with everything in the world.

I couldn't decide if I liked it or not. However, Winry seemed to be happy this way. So I didn't do anything about it.

And there was another thing I had noticed.

My wife had gotten suspiciously close to a certain palm tree. Now that was something that had my alarm bells ringing.

What did the homunculus want from her?

They didn't seem to do much, at least nothing I was aware of. If Envy was hurting her, I would have known. And the black-haired teen wasn't hurting her, that much was clear.

On the contrary, he was exceptionally friendly to her. Not only that, he was also exceedingly calm and relaxed around her...

Wait! Envy?! Friendly, calm and relaxed?! This is wrong in so many ways...

And Winry didn't seem to mind having him around. That was strange. I had told her what and who Envy was. Why did she like him? Why did they always exchange these knowing glances like they knew something that the others, that _I_ didn't? And the most important question here was: when the fuck had they gotten so friendly with each other?!

I felt something that could only be described as jealousy. Jealousy of whatever was going on between Winry and Envy. Whoohoo, irony! Envy would have a field day, if he knew!

There was no way I was going to ask them what was going on – Envy would probably laugh at me and be the smug arsehole he was and Winry would refuse to answer at all.

The only opportunity for them to meet in privacy was the night, when everyone else was sleeping. So I decided to eavesdrop on them.

Now, how was I going to do that? Even though the sickroom had lots of para-vents and curtains because of all the sickbeds it contained, it was hard to sneak in unnoticed. Even when Winry was asleep, there always was someone there, usually Al, Kindness, Van and Nina or Hohenheim.

But today, Winry had declared that she wanted to be alone.

Score!

Around eight o'clock in the evening I peeked into the sickroom. It was dark and Winry seemed to be asleep. Carefully I crept in and up to her bed. Her breathing was laboured, but even. Yup, she was asleep, alright. I snuck to the curtains of the bed opposite to Winry's and hid behind them, sitting in the armchair next to that bed. After what felt like hours, I heard her breathing change. It became erratic and I was about to blow my cover and call for Kindness, but then it calmed down. Through the thin veil, I could see the moon shine onto her bed. She began to stir and woke up. She was lying in her bed, looking at the window like she was waiting for something.

I silently wondered why the fuck the window was open. Didn't Kindness realise that everyone could break in and do Truth knew what?!

My musings were interrupted, when a silhouette appeared in the window frame. The wild dark hair floating in the wind was a dead giveaway.

Envy made no noise when he climbed down into the room, approached Winry's bed and sat down next to her. "Hey", he mumbled softly.

His voice was silky again...and why the fuck did I notice that?!

"Didn't expect you to wait for me. You said you wanted to be alone", Envy stated.

"I was tired earlier", Winry explained. "I wanted to get some sleep."

"You still look tired", the homunculus observed.

I heard my wife chuckled bitterly: "I got three hours of sleep. Then a nightmare killed it for me."

"Oh." Envy's voice sounded a little concerned, which was so foreign I couldn't believe my ears.

"Is there anything I can do? We don't need to talk all night if you're too tired."

That palm tree never ceased to surprise me. He actually cared about her, didn't he?

"No, it's okay. I want to spend as many wake moments as possible before I die."

 _Goddammit, Winry! Get some sleep, dammit!_

"Fair enough."

 _Oh come on! Not you too!_

"Come and sit here", Winry requested quietly and the homunculus complied by sitting on the edge of her bed. They were too close for my comfort!

Envy said: "You really need to tell Kindness to close the window at night. Just think of what scum could climb in here and we're on the ground floor too."

You took the words right out of my mouth, Envy!

She sounded like she was smiling, when she answered: "I told her to leave it open."

What?! She couldn't be serious!

He seemed to be thinking the same. "That's insane. Either you're way too trusting or you like to gamble with your life. It's the latter, isn't it?"

Yeah, that's what I had thought when she allowed Scar to kidnap her back then.

She chuckled. "Probably. But no. I knew that I would be save. I put my faith in the Virtues."

"So you know that Humility monitors the house with her shadows? You're lucky she does. And that she tolerates what we do here."

I knew it! So she _did_ know after all! Oh, that little witch was going to get it!

There was a moment of silence, before Winry said: "I'm surprised you 're not bored of this yet."

The other shrugged. "I guess I enjoy these talks. Feels good to get all this stuff off my chest. And you never laugh when I ask you questions."

"Why would I?", she asked gently, "Your questions are completely understandable. Considering the life you used to live."

What questions? What did he always ask her? I wanted to find out.

They fell silent again for a while. But it wasn't an awkward silence, I observed. There was no tension, at least I sensed none from behind the curtain that hid me away from their eyes.

It almost startled me when Envy suddenly asked: "What was that nightmare about?"

Yeah, I'd like to know that too...

"Well...first I dreamed that I would die tonight in my sleep...I don't want that. I want to be awake when I die. I want to see the sun and feel the day around me, when I pass away. After that, I dreamed about things that would happen once I'm gone. I saw my children all alone and Edward was like in a daze...his eyes were so empty in my dream. I saw him lose it...slowly but surely. It scared me, even in my sleep. Then I saw him with a gun...there was a gunshot and he lay in his own blood..." She choked. "...last I saw his grave next to mine and our children sit in front of it – just like he and Al used to when their mother died. Then I finally, _finally_ , woke up from this crap."

I felt my heart break as I heard the frightened sobs coming from her bed.

So this was her worst nightmare. Oh, Winry...

What Envy now did, surprised me: he took her in his arms and I watched as the Sin's back gently rocked back and forth, as he hushed her quietly and reassured her that none of this would happen. "No need to be scared of that. He has all his friends to be there for him. And with these two little pipsqueaks, he won't have time to go suicidal. Besides-" I could hear Envy's smirk in his voice, "You made me promise that I would smack him out of a possible funk, remember?"

 _You made_ him _promise you_ that _? Winry, how can you do this to me!_

"Yes, I do. But you remember the _other_ promise too, don't you?"

I could practically feel the smirk vanish from his face, which was satisfying.

"...Yeah. I do." Envy sounded sombre, sad and just a little insecure. That was _not_ so satisfying.

Now it was Winry's turn to comfort the homunculus. "Don't worry. I believe in you."

Envy seemed to be tightening his grip on her, as her blonde shock of hair sank deeper into his black one. Yet he still held back which was good, I knew how inhumanly strong Envy was.

"You know", the Sin said out of the blue, "Your husband is jealous of what's going on between us."

I stared. How the fuck did he know?!

"Is he now?" Winry's voice sounded amused.

"Yeah", the other snickered, "He doesn't like how well we get along. And he doesn't even realise that I noticed it! As if I wouldn't recognise my own emotion when I see it!"

Oh...should have known...he is _Envy_ after all.

Her weak giggle brought me back. "Nice to know that I still can make him jealous!"

 _Why, Winry, you little minx!_

"You know", the homunculus said smirking: "I know I've said this before, but...I think I really will miss you. You have one hell of an attitude!"

Huh...figures, he did enjoy seeing me get smacked with that wrench...

"But seriously." His voice was serious again. "I will miss this."

Envy took Winry's hand and my blood boiled. Only I was allowed to do that with her!

"Good", Winry answered quietly, "Because I enjoy these talks too."

"I can talk to you about things I'd never tell anyone else."

"Same here."

 _Stop acting like lovers, goddammit!_ , I thought angrily.

"You won't tell anyone, right?", she requested. "Especially not Edward."

"Of course not", Envy promised.

Why can't I know?! Dammit, Winry, I'm your husband! I thought you had no secrets from me!

"I hope Ed doesn't feel betrayed. I feel bad for having secrets from him."

Envy snorted: "Come on. It's not like you're cheating on him. You _do_ love him, right?"

My breathing stopped. I feared that question and the answer to it.

"Of course I do!" Winry's voice was as indignant as her frailty allowed. But most importantly, it was sincere. I sighed in relief.

Bad idea.

Envy, who obviously had heard it, whipped around and looked around the room.

Winry seemed to be confused. "What's wrong?"

He shushed her and they remained silent for a while. The tension was thicker than water.

I sat in my chair like a statue, making no noise or movement at all.

After a few minutes, the homunculus exhaled. "I thought I heard something. Probably the wind."

"There is no one here", Winry stated, "I would have known if someone snuck in here."

Phew...that was close! I almost blew my cover there!

"If you say so. I'll keep my ears open though", Envy muttered, sounding suspicious and cautious.

"You look like you want to ask me something?" It was more an invitation than a question.

Envy hesitated, before he answered. "Yeah...I do actually. But it's stupid. A homunculus shouldn't even think about that shit."

"That doesn't matter. Just ask, like you always do."

"Ugh...I'm going to sound like a school girl or something, but...being in love. What's that like?"

That question caught me by surprise and I managed to keep from gasping just in time.

Suddenly I remembered something Greed had said: _Why does he even waste time thinking about love, if he thinks it's full of shit?_

I wasn't sure, but I suspected that I knew the answer. Because Envy wanted it.

Winry thought for a while, but then she said quietly: "That depends on who you're in love with. But I'll do my best to answer your question."

Then she explained what being in love meant and by the end, I was weeping silently.

 _I love you, Win...but why do I feel like I love someone else too? I'm a terrible husband._

Envy was saying nothing. He just sat on the edge of the bed and his hair was shielding his face from the moonlight. He listened to her and seemed to think about her words.

After a few moments of silence, Winry yawned. "I'm tired", she informed her companion.

He let go of her and placed her back into the pillows.

"Sleep then", he cooed, taking her hand again, much to my chagrin, "I'll make sure you don't die."

She drifted off into slumber quickly, much to my relief. I had feared that they would talk until the morning and that she wouldn't get any sleep. But then again...she was afraid that she would die in her sleep, she had said.

I still didn't make a move, as Envy was still sitting at Win's bedside, holding her hand.

The moon was descending and finally the moonlight illuminated the homunculus' face.

The moonbeams almost made his body glow. The long black mane and the skimpy black garments were like shadows on his ivory skin. His face was calm and pensive...

It was so unearthly, so celestially beautiful and I couldn't take my eyes off that sight.

He looked like an angel...

Violently, I shook my head. That palm tree an angel, what the hell! He was a deadly sin incarnate!

"I wonder", Envy mused, tearing me from my thoughts, "Do you always have an answer for my questions, because you're a mother? Or is it because of the ex-pipsqueak? How do you know all this? Why do you know an answer for everything I ask you?"

Winry was sleeping deeply, but the Sin probably didn't expect her to answer anyway.

Then I noticed something I'd never wanted to see: something twinkled on his cheeks in the moonlight.

He was crying.

"So that's what love is like. Well, too bad...no one will ever love me."

I felt my heart bleed with sorrow.

Envy...

Absurd as it was, tonight the homunculus was Winry's guardian angel.

If such a thing existed, that is.

But he was a fallen one.

He had no wings, no halo.

Only the bitter jealousy towards those who had.

…

 **Me: Envy and Winry bond and Ed is a jelly, protective husband.**

 **Ed: No, I'm not! :(**

 **Me: Yes, you are.**

 **Envy: *reads the chapter* YOU SPIED ON US? YOU PIPSQUEAK SON OF A BITCH! AND WHY THE FUCK AM I BAWLING HERE?!**

 **Me: Don't worry, you can get back at him in the next chapter.**

 **Envy: … Fine.**


	34. One pissed off homunculus equals pain

**Chapter thirty-two: One pissed off homunculus equals pain**

Next morning, I was a zombie.

I had stayed awake all night, because I had been worried that my snoring would alert Envy and...well, I didn't need a furious homunculus trying to kill me in the middle of the night.

The Sin's crying would have kept me awake anyway, even though it had been quiet. Envy wasn't a loud crier, much unlike he had been before committing suicide. The broken wailing of the worm-like creature that was the real Envy still haunted me to this day.

Oh, and then there was also that other incident, when I had pissed him off so much that he had literally turned into a huge green monster and almost killed me and Ling.

I shuddered at the memory. No, I really didn't want a repeat of that!

Shortly before dawn, Envy finally left the sickroom through the window, presumably to return to his own room before Kindness returned. And so, with the very first light of day clearing up the sky, I finally stood up and also left Winry to sleep.

Realising that any attempts at getting some sleep were futile, I dragged myself into the kitchen to cook myself some coffee. There I found Kindness, who obviously had the same idea.

Envy's Contrary Virtue looked up and grinned: "Oh my! Is it a ghost gracing us with his presence? Or is it just Edward Elric being up early?"

I glared at her. It was way too early for me to handle unfunny jokes.

"Shut up", I grumbled, took a coffee cup from the cupboard and slammed it onto the counter.

Kindness raised an eyebrow: "It's a bit early to wake your children and father up with that noise, don't you agree?"

The blond homunculus had a point: it was five in the morning.

"Whatever", I muttered morosely, but nodded gratefully, when the Virtue poured me a cup.

"Milk or sugar?", Kindness asked.

I shook myself: "Wah! Stay away from me with that cow juice! And no sugar, thanks."

The freckled blond grinned lopsidedly at that and handed me the now full coffee cup, which I took gratefully and downed the bitter liquid in a few gulps.

"You look awful", Kindness stated compassionately. "Did you pull an all-nighter?"

"Kinda", I muttered and poured myself another cup.

"You didn't spend all night sitting by Winry's bedside again, did you?"

"Yes and no."

"Oh?" The Virtue blinked in confusion. "Care to explain, please?"

"I was in the sickroom, but I wasn't the one sitting at her bedside."

"Oh?", the homunculus asked with mild interest, "Who was it then?"

"You won't believe it, Kindness."

"Do tell me, I'm curious!"

"It was Envy."

"Oh." The shapeshifting Virtue poured coffee into another cup, that seemed to belong to Chastity.

"I already knew that."

I almost dropped my cup. "What?!"

Kindness nodded. "Yes. Winry told me that he keeps her company night after night. They usually talk, she says." She smiled. "It seems to do them both a world of good."

Suddenly her smile vanished, like she had just realised something.

"Wait a second! You _eavesdropped_ on them, Edward?!"

She hadn't realised that until now?! Oh wait...oopsie.

I saw that there was no escape, so I nodded. "Yeah."

Kindness frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Why did you do that?", she scolded.

Suddenly I was really ashamed of what I had done. Kindness seemed to have that effect on me.

"Uhm...I saw how well she gets along with a certain someone. And I wanted to see why."

"So you're jealous", Kindness observed drily.

I blushed: "What-no! Okay, maybe a little-no! I'm not jealous of that palmtree!"

Kindness smirked: "I wasn't talking about Envy specifically. You just gave yourself away."

"Argh!" I tore my hair. Then I sighed: "How did you guess?"

The freckled homunculus smiled innocently: "I didn't. I'm Envy's Contrary Virtue, remember? Your jealousy was painfully obvious. And when someone pointed it out to me, I knew I was right."

I blinked: "Someone?"

With a lopsided smile the Virtue motioned to the left.

I followed the glance and my eyes almost popped out. There, on the other side on the room, in the section that was the living room, that palmtree was sprawling himself on one of the couches in all his gender-confused glory, flaunting himself like nobody's business.

I sputtered: "Wha-how-what the-how did y-huhhhh?!"

How the fuck had I not noticed him?!

Envy cracked his purple eyes open and smirked.

"Why, good morning, ex-pipsqueak", he purred seductively, "I would have thought I'm more noticeable to you! I'm offended!" He mocked a hurt pout.

 _Stop talking so sultrily, you gender-confused palmtree!_ , I thought irritatedly.

"Sooooo", the black-haired teen drawled and stood up, "I heard you spied on us?"

Kindness put the coffee cups on a tablet. "Well, that's my cue to leave. Try not to kill him or hurt him too much, Envy. See ya later!"

I just stared as the Virtue left the room to return to the first floor. That betrayer! Kindness my ass!

Meanwhile the skimpily clad Sin had approached me and was now standing right in front of me.

Our bodies almost touched and I felt my face flush. Why was I blushing?! It wasn't not like I've never touched him before! But not like that! Oh god, he was way too close!

Envy was smiling innocently, but the popping vein on his forehead betrayed his outrage.

"Why don't we talk about this in the garden, ex-pipsqueak?", he purred darkly.

I gulped.

Yup.

I was screwed.

…

I gasped in pain, when my back hit the brick wall repeatedly. I didn't know how the wall was still standing, considering the force I was rammed into it with.

"You bastard!", Envy snarled and wrapped his long thin fingers around my throat.

"I _knew_ I heard something! I should have guessed it was you!"

The homunculus tightened his grip on my wind pipe, making me choke.

"I could strangle you right now. It'd be so easy! You don't even have your alchemy to defend yourself, Humility's shadows don't reach as far as here and we're all alone!"

I couldn't speak with Envy's hands choking me like that, I could only plead with my eyes.

 _No...please let go._

He stood on his tip toes and leaned forward. "Oh, don't worry, I won't!", Envy breathed onto my neck, making me shudder, "After all, I wouldn't gain anything from it, would I?"

I ignored the pang of hurt these words caused me.

Of course. It was for personal gain.

The hands on my throat disappeared and I slid down the wall, coughing and gasping for breath.

Envy's long pale legs crouched down in front of me, long black hair tickled my face and then that pale effeminate face was over me, grinning maniacally.

"That wasn't very nice of you, you know", the homunculus cooed, "Snooping into other people's business! But old habits die hard, don't they? You were always such a nosy brat."

Envy cupped my face with one hand and brought it close to his own. "Now I have to punish you. But don't worry – I won't take it _too_ far. Don't wanna have to explain the wounds and bruises."

 _I will definitely have bruises on my back, arsehole_ , I thought angrily and tried to turn my head away, but Envy was holding it in a death grip. Suddenly, the homunculus yanked me up by my hair.

Just like the night we first met.

 _And here comes the part where he knees me in the stomach..._

This time, however, the knee didn't come. Envy just pulled me up to my feet and glared up at me.

"Remove your shirt. Now."

My eyes widened. "E-excuse me?!"

Oh my god, he wasn't going to-

"Do it! Or I'll rip it off! Have fun trying to explain the torn shirt!"

I blushed, but did so, knowing that Envy meant business.

The cold morning air made me shiver and the homunculus took his sweet time to let his amethyst eyes wander over my upper body, making me lower my head in shame. He whistled appreciatively.

"Mhh, what a work of art you are!"

I felt my blush deepen and looked away. I was still self-conscious of my body, especially of my automail-leg and the scars on my shoulder where my automail-arm once had been. My whole body was covered in scars. And Envy, who had created his perfect androgynous body, flawless ivory skin and silky black hair all by himself, called that a work of art?!

I tensed up, when the black-haired teen touched me with hands that felt colder than the morning air. I felt his cold, smooth hands roam my torso and his breath ghosting over my neck and collar bone.

"No need to freak out like that, ex-pipsqueak." The homunculus sounded amused. "You're acting like I'm going to rape you or something." Envy's left hand rested on my right shoulder, where my automail once had been, where now was a flesh arm.

"Last time I saw you like that, you still had your automail-arm", Envy recalled, then giggled: "That was when I walked in on you, remember?"

I groaned. "Gha, don't remind me! I had slipped on a piece of soap and right in that moment you bust in without knocking and saw me like that! Do you know how fucking embarrassing that was?"

Envy lifted an eyebrow: "Hey, I freaked out and screamed too, remember? Do you think _I'm_ used to seeing naked fifteen-year-old pipsqueaks with metal limbs sprawled in front of me like that?!"

"Who are y-" Before I could finish my rant, Envy knocked me off my feet, seized my wrists and pinned them to the wall, over my head.

"You, ex-pipsqueak!", the homunculus taunted me.

I really wanted to punch that smug face, but Envy was pressing me against the brick wall, so that wasn't an option. The cold stone in combination with Envy's cold limbs made me shiver again. I hoped that the homunculus wouldn't notice, but luck wasn't on my side today, so he did.

"Cold, ex-pipsqueak?", the other snickered into my ear, "Don't worry – I'll cut my torture short!"

"Oh joy!", I muttered sarcastically. "And you can't just, I dunno, _not_ torture me?"

The answer was a giggle. "No. But do tell me when it becomes too much to handle."

"Huh. Was worth a try-ahhh!"

I yelped in pain and surprise as the black-haired teen suddenly dragged his nails down my back, leaving red lines, but not deep enough to draw blood. At least I thought so, I couldn't feel any running down my back. The homunculus kept restraining my arms with his left hand, while dragging the other one down my back.

I had no clue why, but the way Envy pressed himself against me, while he dragged his finger nails down my body and the way the pain it caused felt, had something erotic about it. He was making an art out of hurting me!

Finally the homunculus stopped torturing my back and grabbed me by the hair again.

"Turn around!", he growled deeply and I complied, despite knowing that now it was my front's turn to be scratched open. I hissed in pain, when finger nails were dragged across my chest and caught one of my sensitive nipples. Suddenly, I felt how the hand that was restraining my arms was replaced by a silky make-shift rope comprised of Envy's hair.

I will never get used to what this guy can do, shapeshifter or not.

Now it was two hands abusing my chest and stomach. And as if that wasn't bad enough, my back was currently feeling like it was on fire. Even Envy's cold and soft skin felt like sandpaper against it right now and yes, he was pressing himself against me yet again. Oh great, and now there was this _very unwelcome_ heat rising up in my entire fucking body that I knew all too well!

 _Stop rubbing against me, you bastard!_

"What the fuck are you doing?", I managed to gasp out and shuddered yet again, when the androgynous being behind me snickered into my ear: "Just what I said: torturing you!"

To my surprise I felt Envy's hair release my arms from its death grip.

With a relieved sigh, I supported myself against the bricks, while Envy stood up.

"That was fun!", the homunculus purred, "But I think it's enough now. You should see your back, it's almost as red as the coat you used to wear."

"And whose fault is that?", I growled and stood up as well.

Envy stopped grinning and frowned at me. "Yours, moron."

"WHAT ARE YOU S-", I began to yell, but the black-haired one covered my mouth.

"You're too loud", Envy hissed, "Your clamouring is going to wake everyone up. And you heard me! You didn't have to fucking spy on me and your Winry! It's none of your damn business!"

I grabbed the smaller one by the arms and growled lowly: "Well, _I_ think it _is_ my business, if you're doing stuff with _my_ wife behind my back!"

"Doing stuff?", Envy spat, "Are you out of your mind? What did you think I was doing to her? Raping her? Manipulating her into thinking that you don't love her? Trying to make her believe that I do? Taking advantage of her or trying to poison her to get her out of the way?"

My grip on his arms tightened and I said hotly: "Yes! Maybe I did!"

As soon as the words had left my mouth, I realised what I had said and felt my old friends guilt and regret kicking in.

There were no words to describe just how hurt and offended Envy looked.

"So after all I've done for you _and_ her", the teen said flatly, " _That's_ what you think of me?"

I tried to say something, but could only stammer: "E-Envy, I-I'm so so-"

SLAP!

The hit almost threw me off my feet. Only after a few seconds I registered the burning pain on my cheek and that the homunculus had slapped me.

Suddenly Envy started laughing hysterically: "Jealousy makes you think the biggest bullshit, doesn't it? Gets you riled up over thinks you know nothing about! Hahahaha! Now you know how _that_ feels, ex-pipsqueak! And you seriously thought I wouldn't notice?! I'm Envy the Jealous, for fuck's sake! I know jealousy when I see it! Oh, I understand how you feel, I really do! But I can guarantee you, I had none of these intentions, when I first came to her!"

"What was your intention then?" I hadn't meant for this question to sound as desperate as it did.

The androgynous teen grinned and shrugged: "I just wanted to ask her why she wanted to die. She told me and somehow we ended up talking all night."

"About what?"

Suddenly, Envy cupped my face with his cold hands and pulled me down to his eye level.

"That's for me to know", he purred, "And for you to _never_ find out!"

The homunculus let go and turned his back on me to go back inside. "You should take a shower", he recommended, "First cold then warm. It'll do wonders for your skin. Oh, and maybe you should take care of your _other_ problem!"

I looked confused. _Other problem? What does he m-OH MY GOD, WHYYYY?_

I blushed bright scarlet and sputtered, trying to hide my arousal, and bolted past him inside, followed by Envy's gleeful cackle.

Fucking bastard … he did that on purpose!

…

 **Me: There, Envy, you got back at him. Happy now?**

 ***A wild Envy appears***

 **Envy: Very. :3**


	35. The alchemy runs in family

**Chapter thirty-three: The alchemy runs in family**

*Envy's POV*

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Guys check that out, look, look! Come here! Look!"

For some reason Edward was having an excited outburst over something.

Al, Hohenheim, Mei, Mrs. Bradley and Humility, me and Selim, who happened to be downstairs, came to the living room to see what the matter was.

The picture in front of us was curious indeed: A six-year-old boy and his five-year-old sister, confusedly sitting next to behind a transmutation circle from which they had transmuted a butterfly.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Aren't they just the cutest, most amazing little geniuses in the whole world! I'm soo proud!", Ed cried and hugged the hell out of them.

I felt like I was going to throw up.

The others looked at each other. Then the three women and Selim (yes, Selim too – why the fuck did Pride tolerate that?!) were immediately fangirling over how cute the children were, while Hohenheim, Alphonse and I just stood in the door.

Alphonse sweatdropped: "To think that he used to make fun over the way Mr. Hughes acted towards his daughter. Now he's acting just the same way."

 _Yes_ , I growled to myself, thinking of the bespectacled man I had shot, _Just like him._

Elric's father awkwardly scratched his head: "Looks like they come after you and their father. Seems like the alchemy runs in family."

Oh great! More alchemists! And looks like it's not just the alchemy, but also the other talents, the golden hair and eyes (at least with the boy), the charm, the character, the fucking perfection...

I felt my blood boil, as I watched the way Edward smiled at his children with pride and love.

 _I want him to smile like that for_ me _!_

He jumped up. "I have to tell Mustang! Hah! He will be so pissed when I rub it into his face!" Then he darted into the kitchen. I almost pitied Fuhrer Snaphappy for the rant he would have to listen to.

Heh...Fuhrer Snaphappy, that's a good name. I think I'll keep calling him that!

Hohenheim pinched his nose and declared: "I will save my grandchildren, before these people suffocate them."

Aww, how cute! And who would save me from having to watch them all being so fucking happy?!

"Hey, Envy!"

I blinked. "Huh?"

What did Alphonse want from me?

"I wanted to rearrange the books in my room yesterday, but I forgot. Could you lend me a hand?"

Oh.

Nice timing, Alphonse Elric!

"Uhhh, sure."

The next second, I was dragged down the corridor by the taller blond to the room at the end of the hallway.

"There are no books to arrange, are there?", I asked as soon as he had closed the door behind us.

"No", the young man admitted smiling, "I saw how difficult that was for you back there, so I decided that you might appreciate not having to watch it any longer."

"Oh. Thanks." Seriously. Thanks.

"Hey, no problem. Brother can be very oblivious to others' feelings at times. But look at the bright side: Roy Mustang is irritated beyond imagination every time brother calls him about his children. Hawkeye told me so."

The image of an infuriated Mustang having to listen to Ed's rants about how cute and talented his children were made me giggle.

"So your brother calls that bastard _every_ time his children make some progress?"

"Yup", he grinned, "Once Winry showed Van her automail blueprints – you know, the ones you brought from that awful party – thanks for that, by the way – and he memorised and redrew them without any mistake. Ed flipped his wit at that, called the Fuhrer and wouldn't stop ranting for fifteen minutes straight until Mustang finally couldn't take it any-more and hung up."

I smirked, but then I noticed something. "Wait...how old is that runt again?"

"Van? He's six. And Nina is five."

"And he copies mechanical blueprints at that age?!" At that age, kids were supposed to fool around with ugly toys, run around outside and play with their precious friends!

"Oh, that's not the only thing he does", Alphonse chuckled, "Two years ago, he snuck into Winry's workshop at night – while she was working, no less – and took apart one of the automails she was working on. And she didn't notice until he was finished! She freaked out, woke us up and made us all watch, while he reconstructed the artificial limb he had taken apart. It was freaky."

I stared. "...A four-year-old. Taking apart and reconstructing a metal limb."

Alphonse grinned: "Yup, he's just like his mum. Winry made Ed's first automails at the age of ten."

"And the girl?"

"Oh, she's more of a daddy's girl. I bet she drew the transmutation circle they just made on her own. She's been interested in alchemy ever since Ed taught her to read and what alchemy is."

I snorted: "No wonder their parents spoil them like that. If they do stuff like that at this age. But at this rate, they'll grow up to be spoiled brats."

I felt like I was going to hate them even more. Such cute, talented little angels! Just like their parents? Hah! They were lucky little brats!

"You know", Alphonse spoke and broke me out of my thoughts, "Brother initially didn't want to have children."

I blinked: "What? Why?" He seemed like a good family man to me.

"He wasn't very good with kids back then and he worried that he would be a bad father."

"...I can't imagine that."

"Oh, by the time we convinced him that everything would be fine, Winry was already pregnant." Alphonse grinned: "You should have seen him on the days they were born. He cried like a baby, more so than they did! Or when they learned to talk and walk!"

I could only laugh.

*Winry's POV*

I pouted when I heard the news. "I would have thought that at least Van would walk into my footsteps and become a mechanic! Dammit, Ed, why do you have to teach them both alchemy?!"

"So they can choose", Ed answered calmly. "And who says that Van won't be a mechanic some day? He's more of a gearhead anyway."

I huffed and stuck my tongue at him.

…

 **The kids are being cute and Ed goes into Maes-Hughes-mode. And Envy, being the jelly little shit he is, hates it.**


	36. Eternal sleep

**Chapter thirty-four: Eternal sleep**

 ***Edward's POV***

I was suspicious.

Winry had requested a private conversation with the Virtues and now they had been talking in the sickroom for more than an hour.

What was even more suspicious, she had asked the seven to bring a typing maschine. So the only sounds heard from the room was Winry's whispering voice, Charity's voice speaking too quietly for me to hear and the ticking of either Humility or Diligence typing on their maschine.

After three hours of standing anxiously in front of the door, the Virtues finally came out.

"What did you talk about?", I demanded, "What did Winry want from you?"

Humility's grave answer cut me to the core:

"To make her last will."

 ***Envy's POV***

Tonight something was different. Both of us were more silent than usual. Something was in the air, something that took away every reason to speak. For some reason none of us wanted to say anything. It wasn't like the usual comfortable silence and I didn't like it. But what was I supposed to say? How could I break that icy silence?

 _She_ finally solved the dilemma and spoke. "Hey, Envy."

"Hm?"

"Tonight, _I_ have a question for _you_."

I didn't like the way she said that...I wouldn't like that question, I knew it.

"What is death like?"

I knew it.

I sighed: "Hard to say. I don't know how it will be for you. It sure wasn't pleasant for me. But I'm a homunculus, I don't have a soul that can go anywhere. So I was trapped in limbo. But you're human and you have a soul. Maybe for you it really will be like an eternal sleep, just like everyone says. And I think you'll have a sweet dream."

She smiled wistfully. "I probably won't live after tomorrow."

My expression mirrored hers. "I know", I said sadly and took her hand.

The next day was beautiful. The sun was shining and the sky was blue. It was warm, just like a late summer day was supposed to be.

Everyone was outside, only I sat at _her_ bedside.

Knowing that this would be our last talk, we made every minute count.

Again we were at peace, but this time it was a different kind of peace.

Finally she looked to the window. "Carry me over there", she whispered, "Ed and the children are playing out there, aren't they? I want to see them one last time."

I lifted her in my arms, carried her over and placed her in the wicker chair by the window.

Nearby on the field, Edward was playing with their son and daughter and they were laughing.

 _She_ smiled fondly at the sight, but two lone tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I love them. I love them so much."

I said nothing as I wiped the tears away. I didn't admit that I wanted to feel the same way.

"Hey", she said softly.

"Yeah?", I asked.

"Tell my family that I love them."

"Mhm."

"Don't forget the promise."

"...I won't."

"Good. And Envy?"

I looked at her questioningly.

She smiled one final time.

"Thank you."

Those were her last words.

 _She_ passed away sitting in her wicker chair, smiling, with the sight of her husband and children playing before her eyes, before she closed them forever.

I bit my lip, willing myself not to cry.

"You're welcome. And thanks to you too. Goodbye... _Winry Elric_."

 ***Edward's POV***

I had just been jumped by my daughter and was getting up, when Envy came outside.

"What's the matter?", I asked, when he came up to me.

But then I saw his face.

There was no further explanation needed.

 ***Envy's POV***

I didn't like how calm the blond was.

I didn't like how silently he followed me inside.

And I especially didn't like how empty his gaze was.

Silently Edward entered the sickroom and walked up to his beloved _wife_.

Silently he crouched down before _her_ and gently caressed those dead hands.

Silently, silently...why was he not saying anything, dammit?!

After a while, he finally spoke: "She looks beautiful. So blissful and serene. That's the way she looked when we got married, you know. And when our children were born and she fell asleep with them in her arms, she looked like this too."

How could he say that so...soullessly?!

I tried to ignore the thoughts in my head and joined Edward.

"She died the death she wanted", I said quietly, trying to cover up how shaky my voice was.

I would not cry. I would _not_ cry.

"She was awake...it was a nice day...and the last thing she saw was you three having fun. That is...that is the death humans want, isn't it? To just fall asleep like that...with the people they care about before their eyes? Look at her! She looks like she's having a nice dream! But this dream is eternal...she will never wake up again..."

And she will never talk to me again.

…

 **Winry dies, Envy can't wrap his head around it and Ed is mentally paralysed. Here there be angst.**


	37. Goodbye, Winry

**Chapter thirty-five: Goodbye, Winry**

 ***Edward's POV***

The funeral was quiet, despite the number of people who were there.

Hawkeye had come as well, I had invited her, because she was Winry's friend and because she was one of the few who knew about the homunculi being alive.

The Virtues carried Winry's coffin to the graveyard in Rezembool (she had wanted to be buried there, alongside her parents and granny Pinako), even though Diligence alone could easily have done it. Temperance had insisted that we stuck to the procedure, so we did.

My wife was buried with sketches of the automails she had last been working on, instead of flowers around her in the coffin, she hadn't been much of a flower person.

The Sins were surprised that they were invited to it, but they came anyway, even Pride and Wrath.

For once, the Virtues were not wearing white. They were dressed in black, just like the Sins.

And also for once, said Sins wore appropriate clothes for the occasion.

Lust was wearing a long uptight dress that looked a lot like Chastity's, just in black.

Envy for once had abandoned his skimpy outfit and wore a black suit, just like his brothers.

Everyone was silent.

There were no funeral speeches. None were needed.

I was numb. I felt nothing. It was like I was dead on the inside. There was nothing. No grief, no sorrow, no heartbreak or even sadness. Only a great emptiness. Why couldn't I feel anything?

Van and Nina began to cry, when Humility and Pride lowered the coffin that held Winry's corpse into the tomb with their shadow arms.

And for some reason, I was paralysed. My children were crying and I wasn't doing anything – why couldn't I do anything?! I was supposed to comfort them and instead I was just standing there helplessly. Why was I not comforting them?! My mind screamed out desperately for me to go and comfort them, to take them in my arms and tell them everything would be okay, but...

Eventually someone else did. But it wasn't Al, Mei or even Hohenheim.

We all stared, when a certain palmtree crouched down before the children, put his hands on their shoulders and whispered something to them.

Nina nodded bravely, sniffed and wiped the tears off her face and her big brother did the same. Envy stood back up and proceeded to watch the funeral stony-faced, like nothing of this had just happened.

I felt the guilt eat away at me.

I was supposed to do that...and the one who did instead was... _him._

 ***Envy's POV***

My face didn't betray my emotions, but on the inside I was seething with rage.

Fucking bastard...forcing me to comfort your little brats like I'm their guardian or something!

Why weren't you doing anything? You're supposed to be their father, arsehole!

I hadn't wanted to do that.

But when they started bawling, the boy more so than his little sister, I suddenly heard Winry Elric's words in my head.

 _Take care of him and the kids for me._

I had promised her that I would.

And when I looked around and saw Wrath's hands tremble with anger, I could practically smell the trouble coming up.

So I did the only thing I could think of. I gripped their shoulders and told them to be brave and cry silently and that everything would be alright.

Another wave of anger rose up inside me, as I glared at Edward, while no one was looking.

 _You_ were supposed to do that, Edward Elric.

 ***Edward's POV***

When the funeral was over, I remained at the tombstone. I was in a daze. I couldn't believe that Winry, my Winry, the woman who had always made my automail, the one who had always thrown her wrench at me every time I broke it, who had been with me through every hardship, the mother of my children, my childhood sweetheart, was now nothing more than a corpse covered by six feet of earth and a stone with her name on it.

 _Winry Elric, née Rockbell_

 _1899 – 1928_

 _Beloved wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, mechanic and friend_

It was nothing but a cold tombstone.

My Winry was gone.

She would never come back.

So why was I so numb? Why did I not feel anything?

"Why didn't you do anything?", a raspy androgynous voice asked.

Envy.

How had I not noticed him there?

"I don't know", I said quietly.

He stepped next to me and let his hand run over the black stone that was Winry's grave.

"She's really gone, isn't she...I hate these human feelings", he whispered bitterly.

 _Of course you do_ , I thought. But I said nothing.

"They bring nothing but pain and humiliation. Just look at how low I've sunk. I've grown attached to a dying human of all people! I'm Envy, a homunculus! I wasn't supposed to get attached to anyone at all! And then it had to be _her_!"

His voice was so shaky...made me wonder...

"Did you love her?", I asked blankly.

"Not in the way you mean", Envy answered. "I would laugh at you for even asking me that, but...I'm not sure any-more that it's so impossible. But no, it wasn't like that. Not with _her_."

 _How did you love her then?_ , I wanted to ask, but Envy continued: "You know how Greed goes against his nature for his friends? Or how fond Pride is of Mrs. Bradley?"

 _Oh. So that's how you felt then..._

Finally I felt something, but it was different from what I was supposed to feel.

The homunculus chuckled bitterly: "...It's stupid, really. I'm almost two hundred years old and she was twenty-nine. Even if I was human I would be too old. But Pride and Greed once told me what having a mother or friends is like and...maybe that was it."

His voice began to shake again. "I mean...she was nice to me...always listened to me...never judged me or reproached me for anything – even though she knew what I have done – and she always knew an answer to all my questions. She...she cared about me! Friends and mothers do that, right?"

I thought back to my own childhood and remembered my own mother, who had given her all to me and Al, before she died. I remembered how Winry had loved our children.

"...Yes. That's what mothers do."

That and so much more.

Suddenly I noticed something. The homunculus was shaking all over. Envy...he was going to cry!

"Hey", I said softly and put a hand on the other's shoulder. "If you feel like crying, it's okay..."

"SHUT UP!", Envy screamed and grabbed my arms, "DO YOU EVEN REALISE HOW HYPOCRITICAL YOU'RE SOUNDING RIGHT NOW?! YOU'RE HER FUCKING _HUSBAND,_ YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BAWLING YOUR EYES OUT, AND I DON'T SEE ONE FUCKING TEAR IN THESE GOLDEN POOLS OF CRAP YOU CALL EYEBALLS! THEY'RE NOT EVEN WATERY! YOUR FACE IS SO EMOTIONLESS – LIKE YOU'RE DEAD! I HATE IT! THAT'S NOT THE EDWARD ELRIC I KNOW! YOU'RE NOT EVEN SAD, ARE YOU?! SHE WAS YOUR _WIFE_ , I THOUGHT YOU _LOVE_ HER! THEN WHY AM I THE ONE WHO'S CRYING WHEN I WASN'T EVEN-"

The rest was lost in quiet whimpers and wails, as the homunculus sank to his knees and began to cry relentlessly. "Dammit!", he cried in anguish, "Dammit, dammit, DAMMIIIIIT!"

The way he was crying reminded me way too much of how he had died back then.

I wrapped my arms around the androgynous being and embraced him tightly.

"You're right. With everything", I admitted. "I want to grief. I want to be sad. Until now I always refused to cry, because I was too proud. And now that I want to, I can't. I should be heartbroken. But all I feel is this numbness. Like I'm dead. I should have comforted my children earlier. And I did nothing. Just stand there like some heartless bastard, because I was fucking paralysed. And the one who comforted them...that was _you_ , Envy. Thank you."

Envy was too busy crying into my chest to answer or even register anything.

I couldn't help but notice how small and fragile the black-haired teen in my arm felt. And to think that this was the psychotic arsehole palmtree who once had called me pipsqueak …

I looked towards the tombstone that was the only witness of that scene.

Winry … you knew, didn't you? You knew more than I ever will. Please forgive me. I'm a terrible husband and father...

My grip on the sobbing homunculus tightened and I squeezed my eyes shut.

I'm so sorry …

…

 **Here there be more angst. I have no excuse.**


	38. Last will

**Chapter thirty-six: Last will**

It was one week after the funeral that Humility decided it was time to execute Winry's last will.

I knew why, at least I thought I did. They wanted to give the family time to stomach the sad event, at least just a little bit, give us time to come to terms with the fact that Winry was no longer. Grateful as I am for their consideration, I doubt that I will ever come to terms with it. I know I have to, for my children's sake, but I'm not sure I'm strong enough.

Nevertheless, I appreciated that the Virtues had given us at least a little break to calm down, before confronting us with more grief.

One morning after breakfast, Kindness gathered everyone who Winry had remembered in her will and sent us to the salon.

I felt like my heart was stopping, when I saw them all sit there, occupying chairs, armchairs, couches, the table and Chastity's expensive Ishvalan carpets on the floor.

On one of the wooden commodes sat Humility with a stack of paper in her hand and next to her stood Chastity with a sombre face.

"Alright everyone. Today we will handle Winry's last will. You're here because she has honoured all of you in her will."

By 'all of you' she meant me, the children, Al, Mei, Hohenheim, Selim/Pride and Mrs. Bradley, Hawkeye, Paninya, Greed and Envy.

I didn't even question why Hawkeye and Paninya were here or how the Virtues had found the tanned tomboy and managed to get Hawkeye here without Mustang.

Chastity continued: "First we would like to apologise for not doing this sooner, but we thought that you might want a few days to stomach the sad events, before we confront you with another one."

"Thank you, Chastity", Al spoke up, "We really appreciate that." Some of the others nodded.

The Virtue nodded, before declaring: "Anyway, we collected the handier items and placed them here on the counter. We will call the ones who inherit them forward to get their new possessions. Now listen closely, because Humility is about to read Winry Elric's last will to you. You have the word, older sister."

"Thank you, Chastity", Humility said meekly, before clearing her throat and reading aloud:

" _I, Winry Elric,_

 _declare that this is my last will and testament._

 _I hereby declare that I am of legal age to declare this will, and that I am sound of mind._

 _I hereby revoke, annul and cancel all wills and codicils previously made by me, either jointly or severally._

 _This last will expresses my wishes without undue influence or duress._

 _I am married to Edward Elric, hereafter referred to as my spouse._

 _I have following children:_

 _Van Elric (born 17_ _th_ _March 1922)_

 _Nina Elric (born 29_ _th_ _November 1923)_

 _I hereby nominate, constitute and appoint Prof. Dr. Raffaela Angel as executor._

 _If this executor is unable or unwilling to serve, I appoint Prof. Agnes Virginia Angel, Dr. Michelle Agape Angel and Dr. Ramiel Gratian Angel as alternate executors."_

She had named Humility, Chastity, Charity and Kindness as executors for her will?

" _I want to thank all of my friends and family for their love and care and hope that they will be content with whatever they receive._

 _To my spouse I will leave our house in Resembool and my car. Furthermore, I ask him to be a good father to our beloved children and care for them until they're old enough to care for themselves. My last request to him is to keep living and to find someone new who will love him and stay with him_."

My heart clenched and I bit my teeth.

Winry, goddammit!

Humility went on: " _To my son Van Elric I will leave my entire workshop and everything in it, except for the pictures and the blue tool kit, which shall go to Paninya_."

Van's eyes grew huge: "Mama's whole workshop? All mine?"

Humility smiled and nodded, then turned to Paninya and asked her to come forward and collect said tool kit and pictures. The former pickpocket smiled sadly, as she sat back down, cradling the kit and the photo album in her lap.

The white-haired Virtue read on: " _My daughter Nina Elric will receive a bank account with the specific purpose of paying for her scholarship in alchemy when she grows up. I'm afraid that's the only useful thing I can leave to her_."

The five-year-old looked confused: "Daddy, what's a bank account?"

"Not now, sunshine", I whispered and turned my attention back to Humility.

" _My dear brother-in-law Alphonse Elric, who could have been my brother as well, will inherit all my note books, so he can use them for his notes on alchemy and alcahestry. My last wish to him is to be there for Ed, just like he always has been."_

Al squeezed his eyes shut to keep from crying and grabbed Mei's hand.

" _To Al's fiancée Mei Chang, who is like a sister to me, I will leave the light blue make-up box that I never got to use. May she be a loving companion to Al and stand by him for better and for worse."_

Mei managed to nod, before she started bawling into Al's chest. I couldn't help but envy her for being able to feel something and show it so openly. Since the Xingese princess was too overwhelmed by her emotions, Diligence came over and handed her the make-up box.

" _To my father-in-law Van Hohenheim I will leave the cabin that used to belong to my granny, Pinako Rockbell. May it awaken fond memories of their friendship."_

Hohenheim turned away so the others wouldn't see him cry. I wished I could do the same, but all I felt was...nothing.

" _To Mrs. Bradley, who was always so nice to me and my family, I will leave my self-warming covers, hoping that they will do her good against her rheumatism."_

Mrs. Bradley smiled wistfully: "How nice of her. They'll do wonders for me."

Then she went to the counter to get her new covers.

" _To Selim Bradley, I will leave the black notebook that used to lie next to my sickbed, hoping that he will find it useful. Furthermore I appoint him as tutor for my children in alchemy like my husband used to tutor him."_

Selim collected his new notebook and sat back down on the couch, next to his mother. I couldn't help but wonder what Pride thought about this.

" _The stash of wine that my grandmother left to me shall go to both my husband and his father as well as to Greed and Diligence, since they all can appreciate a good bottle from time to time. I just ask them to watch out that my husband doesn't drink too much and won't drown his sorrows in alcohol, for the children's sake."_

"Yeah, sure", Greed muttered.

"Of course", Hohenheim nodded.

"We'll do our best", Diligence assured.

"Why thanks a lot, Win. Didn't you trust me at all?", I muttered to myself.

Someone behind me snorted and I turned around to glare at the person.

"No person with common sense would trust you to take care of yourself", Envy said coolly.

Greed fidgeted with his jacket. "Hate to agree with him, but y'know..."

Al scratched his head awkwardly: "Sorry, brother, but he _does_ have a point there..."

I gaped at them. Fucking traitors!

Before I could blow up and start a fight, Hawkeye fired her pistol, shooting a hole into the window and effectively startling everyone.

"Goodness, Miss Hawkeye!", Mrs. Bradley cried. "You almost gave me a heart-attack there!"

"I'm sorry", the Leutenant apologised.

Chastity frowned: "You're paying for that window, madam."

"Of course I will", Hawkeye sighed. "I just don't think this is the right moment for a fight."

Humility audibly cleared her throat and proceeded reading out the will:

" _To my friend Riza Hawkeye, I leave all my earrings, since she inspired me to wear so many and to become a braver person."_

Chastity waved Hawkeye over and the woman went to get her new earrings.

"And last, but not least", Humility announced,

" _To Envy, I leave my lucky wrench, the one I always used to carry around. He knows what to do with it. I want to thank him for all the nice talks we had and for the company he has kept me in my final weeks. Furthermore, I ask him to remember the promise, he knows which one."_

Envy came and collected the big wrench Winry had left him. I suddenly remembered that Winry had said...oh god! She had given the shapeshifter permission to smack me with that wrench!

Greed blinked and stared at the item in his little brother/sister's hand.

"She leaves you a wrench? What for?", he asked incredulously.

"That's a good question", Pride spoke up, "And what exactly does she mean by 'nice talks' and 'company you kept her'?" Apparently he had come out just to ask that.

"Don't ask", Envy sighed, looking at his older brothers no-nonsensically.

Humility went on: _"Lastly, I appoint him guardian of my children, should my husband be unable to take care of them or raise them on his own."_

"WHAT?!", I screeched.

Al facepalmed: "Oh my god, Winry, why … of all the people … _he_ shall be their guardian?! This can't be. That's just insane. What the hell has possessed you!"

Mei gaped, first at Humility, then at Envy and stuttered: "...Wh-what? I-I can't believe it!"

Hohenheim frowned and shook his head, but said nothing.

Hawkeye muttered something that sounded like: "What the hell..."

The children, who didn't know Envy very well, just looked confused and curiously.

Even Greed and Pride stared at the shapeshifter open-mouthed.

"Him", Greed said flatly, pointing at the palm tree, "Guardian of two little kids. What?"

"This is preposterous", Pride shook his head, "That human must have been insane."

Envy didn't seem to be surprised at all. Why? What the actual fuck! He just rolled his eyes, which got me even further riled up.

I stared at Humility. "You're lying" I said slowly. "That's fucking Envy! There is no way she appointed _him_ guardian of _my_ children. This has to be a joke!"

She shook her head. "I'm afraid not."

I looked at her incredulously: "...B-but … he … he..."

Envy sighed irritably: "Oh calm down, ex-pipsqueak. I'm not going to pull the trigger on them!"

Of all the ways, he had to phrase it that way?! He was just asking for me to kill him!

Van looked even more confused: "Pull the trigger on us?"

"He says, he's not going to shoot you", Selim translated. Pride hat retreated back into his head, probably to stomach the WTF-itude of this situation.

Van and Nina smiled. "Okay", Nina nodded.

"I WON'T ACCEPT THIS!", I yelled and jumped up. "THERE IS NO WAY SHE-"

Humility raised her hands to silence me and sighed: "That's exactly how she dictated it to us. And believe me, we were just as surprised as you. But it's part of her last will, so whether you like it or not, Envy the Jealous is from now on the official guardian of your children until they come to age. Now where was I...ah, right."

Finally, the white-haired Virtue came to an end:

" _I direct that upon my death, my remains shall rest beside my parents and grandmother._

 _Signed, Winry Elric, née Rockbell, Angel Manor, the 15_ _th_ _September 1928._

 _Witnesses:_

 _See executors."_

Greed scoffed: "What's with your human names anyway? You couldn't think of anything better?"

"Oh shut up", Charity retorted, "At least we _have_ legal names! Which of you sins do?"

Before they could continue their argument, Envy threw his new wrench, hitting both of them at the head. When it came back, he caught it with ease.

Diligence whistled. "Nice throw, Envy. Bull's-eye!"

He ignored her and glared at Charity and Greed: "Shut your traps! Fighting about something as stupid as human names, while we're talking about _her_ last will? Really?!"

I was almost grateful for him doing that, since I had been getting more and more agitated during the last few minutes. Apparently I wasn't the only one, as Humility and Chastity both pinched the bridge of their noses in frustration.

"Thank you, Envy", Humility sighed and continued: "Now that this ridiculous argument is out of the way, Winry left a letter to each of you. Kindness, if you could hand them out, please."

The freckled blond complied and handed a sealed letter to everyone who had been remembered in Winry's last will.

When she arrived at me and Envy and gave us our letters, she said: "To you two she left two letters each."

"And why do we get only one?", I asked unemotionally.

Kindness shrugged: "She insisted that you should receive only one and that we keep the other letters confined till a _certain_ _moment_ arrives."

"Why?", Envy and I asked at the same time.

The Virtue replied: "Because she said that they contain things that you're not supposed to know just yet. She told us when to give them to you and to lock them away safely until then."

The Sin and I looked at each other and I saw that the black-haired one was close to having a fit. I decided to save the situation before the deranged palm tree blew up.

"Envy, why don't we go for a walk?"

I wanted to talk to him anyway. Him, legal guardian of my children, hah! Don't make me laugh! Over my dead body, maybe!

The homunculus looked at me with a face that screamed: Seriously?

Kindness spoke up: "Uh, you do realise that Envy is still under house arrest, right?"

"It doesn't seem to apply for when we work or train outside", I retorted, "Besides, I'm with him and that should count. I just want to talk to him in private and get some fresh air. Anyway..."

"I'm still here, y'know", Envy growled agitatedly, "Do I get a say in this?!"

"No", I snapped at him, earning myself a smacking with the wrench that now belonged to Envy. Okay, I admit, I earned myself that one.

"I'm sorry, my dear opposite", Kindness apologised, "But without the company of at least one Virtue you're not allowed out, considering the trouble you still like to cause."

"Fine with me", Envy hissed, "I wasn't going to agree anyway – I just want to be left alone!"

Then he rushed upstairs to his room, probably to read the letter and bawl his eyes out in private.

…

 **Winry leaves a testament behind that is hardly surpassable in its WTFitude.**

 **Winry's ghost: Excuse you, you're writing this story!**

 **Me: I know, I have no excuse!**

 **Ed: WTF is wrong with you!**

 **Me: Shut up, I do what I want.**


	39. Do something, dammit!

**Chapter thirty-seven: Do something, dammit!**

 ***Envy's POV***

It's been half a year since she died.

Some things have changed in the last months.

Hohenheim is gone, he died in January, visiting the grave of that woman that had been Edward's and Alphonse's mother. Alphonse, Mei Chang and the brats are grieving of course. And so are the Virtues. He really was a father to them, was he?

The Bradleys have moved out. The Virtues have decided that they don't need supervision anymore, so they have moved away. Selim visits a lot, although sometimes it's Pride who initiates the visit. Perhaps he wants to check that we're not doing any bullshit. Selim definitely wants to check on the Elrics, especially the kids. Pride tolerates it. Guess he likes the kid. Sometimes Selim and Pride just come, because their/his parents want some … alone time.

The Virtues have allowed Greed and Lust to leave as well, but for some reason they want to stay. Maybe it's because they have nowhere else to go, at least for now. Not that I mind. I don't want to be stuck here with only Sloth and Gluttony for company. They're useless.

And yes, I'm still here. Where would I go anyway. I have duties here. Now that I'm stuck with two brats, Edward fucking Elric and Alphonse and Mei Chang being all lovey-dovey. Oh, and the Virtues of course. Also, they made me move from the second floor to the ground floor, to the humans. For the kids' sake, they say. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I'm staying in _her_ old room (they moved the sickbay to another). Fuck my life.

The little pipsqueaks are six and seven now, the boy's birthday was a few weeks ago.

Edward is still in a daze.

He still doesn't feel anything.

He still hardly talks.

Even on his children's birthdays, he hardly showed any emotions. It pissed me off, so I dragged him outside and smacked him with the wrench, until he at least faked to be happy for the brats.

I hate how empty these golden eyes are.

I hate his hollow voice, if he ever talks, that is.

I hate how he walks around like a machine.

I hate how he won't listen to anyone.

I hate how he locks himself away and leaves me, Alphonse and Mei to take care of his brats.

I hate that I have to assure them time after time that their daddy loves them.

I hate that I have to find excuses for him not being there.

And do you know what I hate the most?

I hate how broken Edward Elric is.

I want to beat sense into him, but I promised not to misuse the tool I inherited.

And I really want to tell him to stop wallowing in self-pity and just face reality.

But even more so, I want to curl up and bawl my eyes out at how shitty this fucking situation is.

…

 **Edward isn't handling Winry's death very well and Envy doesn't like it.**


	40. Finally something

**Chapter thirty-eight: Finally something!**

Dinner was silent. We all finished our food without saying anything. The atmosphere couldn't be any-more tense. Any attempt of the Virtues to break the awkward silence was futile.

The kids threw glances at their father from time to time and lowered their heads when they saw that he didn't show any emotion. Like he didn't care about them.

Edward was just staring at his plate, playing with his food. And that pissed me off.

"Can't you say something?", I asked him angrily, slamming Chastity's silverware onto the plate. It gave a loud clatter, but I made sure not to break the plate, because Miss Oh-so-Pure would skin me if I broke one of her precious porcelain plates.

"What is there to say?", he asked. His voice was still so hollow. That pissed me off even more.

"Oh, I don't know", I spat, standing up, "How about you talk to your children or something? Or if you won't say something, at least _do_ something!"

"And what do you expect me to do?!", he asked hotly.

He was getting angry. Finally.

Alphonse and Mei saw that as their cue to get the brats out of here and my siblings fled the scene as well. Perfect. Now I could finally let it all out.

"I DON'T KNOW!", I shouted at him, gripped his arms and shook him violently, "I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! STOP ACTING LIKE A GODDAMN MACHINE! JUST DO SOMETHING! DO SOMETHING FOR FUCK'S SAKE! GET ANGRY OR SAD, SCREAM AND SHOUT, CRY, ANYTHING! ANYTHING, DAMMIT!"

Was I really sounding that desperate?

"JUST STOP BEING SO FUCKING DEAD!", I screamed frantically, "DON'T YOU CARE AT ALL?! NO, OF COURSE YOU DON'T, IF YOU CARED, YOU WOULD BE THERE FOR YOUR FUCKING BRATS, INSTEAD OF LEAVING ME AND YOUR BROTHER TO BABYSIT THEM! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU DON'T EVEN MOURN _HER_! DO YOU EVEN REALISE THAT SHE IS DEAD?! WELL I GOT SOME NEWS FOR YOU, EX-PIPSQUEAK! YOUR PRECIOUS _WINRY_ IS GONE AND SHE'LL _NEVER_ COME BACK!"

He punched me.

Just like he had back then inside Gluttony's stomach.

But this time it didn't make me angry. Because...because...

 ***Edward's POV***

Envy didn't even budge when I punched him, but that didn't surprise me.

He hadn't done that back then either.

What surprised me was that he didn't get angry this time. No. For a few seconds he stared at me in shock. Then he threw his head back and laughed.

I stared at him incredulously. What was so funny?

Then he looked at me with shining eyes. What?!

"About time", he said softly, "Finally...you showed some emotion. You finally did something!"

Suddenly I realised that he was right – I had gotten angry at his words – I had gotten angry at the truths he had yelled at me.

I...I finally felt something! It was anger, but it was...something!

The numbness inside me had weakened!

I hugged the shapeshifter tightly. He froze, then relaxed and leaned into my embrace.

"Thank you", I whispered in his ear.

He chuckled quietly. "You're welcome, ex-pipsqueak."

…

 **Here there be Envy knocking sense into Edward. Let's see how long it lasts.**

 **Envy: What do you mean, let's see how long it lasts?! And I still don't get why the fuck I have to play babysitter! I fucking hate kids!**

 **Me: I'm a fanfic writer, I don't give a shit. XP**


	41. Liar

**Chapter thirty-nine: Liar**

 ***Envy's POV***

I had thought that after that outburst he would get better, now that he finally felt something.

I had believed that he would finally be able to mourn, to face his feelings, let them out.

I had hoped that he would finally get some closure.

I was wrong.

He didn't neglect his children as much any-more, but often, especially in the evenings and nights, he left them to me and Alphonse and left the house to do Truth knew what.

He couldn't be drinking, he always came home sober, before the sun came up.

I knew what he was doing.

"I wonder what big brother is doing all night", Alphonse sighed one evening after he had brought the kids to sleep.

I looked at him sombrely. "Are you sure you want to know?"

He doesn't always hook up his whores at some run down bars. Sometimes he brings one home. They're usually flings that don't last more than a few weeks and then they dump him.

Chastity's outraged at what he does in her own house. I understand her. I mean she's Chastity, but who wouldn't be pissed if someone brought some whore into their home?

I hate them. My blood boils every time he brings some blonde bimbo home. Yes, they're always blond. His criteria for noticing them is that they resemble _her_. Can you get any more superficial?!

Are you fucking kidding me?!

No one approves of what he does, not even Lust. That's a little comforting.

Edward's kids hate them too. I stopped counting how many of their daddy's "mistresses" they have driven away through mean schemes and pranks. I think I might grow to like them.

How does he get all these sluts anyway?

Oh wait. He's a famous and attractive man, of course they would-

No scratch that, he's fucking gorgeous.

His tall muscular figure, his beautiful face, the way he smiles and walks, those gorgeous golden eyes, that golden hair and when he has it open and it flows over his shoulders, he looks like an angel, even more so than the Virtues with their blond hair, yellow eyes and white garments do. And when he walks around without his shirt and flaunts that fantastic body of his, oh holy shit!

But my favourite thing about him are all his flaws. My perfect androgynous body is just so blank next to his. He's so imperfectly human, so torn, scarred and flawed. I can recount his whole life, just by looking at his scars. The scar from where his automail-arm used to be, it's still there. The scars on his forehead and the broken nose from every time _she_ has smacked him with her wrench. And the burn scars on his fingers, from all the times he burned himself while trying to cook (he's a good cook by now). And that one at his finger, where he accidentally hammered a nail into his own finger instead of whatever he was hammering at the time. There even are some scars from damage I have done to that body, those are my favourite ones.

Edward Elric's body is a work of art. A work of art that should be mine.

...Oh. Oh fuck.

Oh no, oh my god, no, please no!

There is no way!

It can't be, it...

Who am I kidding. Yes, it can.

That explains why I always want his attention so badly.

Fuck my life...it just has to be _him_!

After that ice cold realisation, I locked myself away in my room and bawled my eyes out in private. After about three hours Charity knocked at my door and asked if I was okay.

I was _not_ okay.

She and Kindness are the most sensitive and discreet of the Virtues, so I told her about my problem. We ended up talking for hours and that felt good. It was almost like all the times I had talked to _her_ , even though it wasn't quite the same. Charity knew about love. At least the spiritual, mental part.

Lust knew about physical love, but I thought there was more to what I felt for _him_. I didn't just lust for Edward Elric's body, that much was clear.

I wanted him to smile, especially for me, I wanted him to be himself, I wanted him to be happy, with and because of me. I wanted to hear his voice, wanted that fire in his eyes to return.

Charity understood that. She didn't give me love advice, I would have refused it anyway. But she listened. That was enough.

 ***Edward's POV***

I came home feeling like shit. My girlfriend had just dumped me, because she had a kid problem. Now I just wanted to lock myself into my room and wallow in self-pity until I felt better. It was late, so I did my best to be as quiet as possible. When I crept through the hallway, I noticed a faint light coming from my children's room, the door was half open. I was annoyed that someone had allowed them to be up so late, so I decided to check on them and tell them to go to bed.

What I saw when I peeked in almost made my heart stop.

The children were in their bed and on the chair next to them sat Envy, cross-legged with a book in his lap, with his back to me and he was reading to them. I couldn't hear what though, he was too quiet.

Suddenly my daughter spoke up: "Mr. Envy?"

"Don't call me Mister. But yes?"

"Daddy says you can turn into other people and that once you turned into mummy, for that military ball last summer. Is that true?"

"Yes."

"Can you turn into mummy again?"

I shouldn't have been surprised at that request.

He definitely wasn't.

Envy sighed, red sparks danced around him and he morphed into Winry.

My heart shattered into thousand pieces, when I saw my dead wife sit beside our wide-eyed children – except that it wasn't _her_. That was just Envy, in her shape.

"Mummy?", Yuriy asked uncertainly.

"Winry" nodded and affectionately ruffled his hair. "Yes, my little man?"

My heart shattered into even smaller pieces. Winry had always called him that. How did Envy know that? Had she told him?

"Can you sing us a lullaby?"

I waited curiously. Could Envy even sing? With that scratchy voice of his? And even with Winry's voice, would he hit the right tone at all? But then he began to sing and I found that yes, he was capable of hitting the right notes. It was an odd sounding song, probably a Xerxian lullaby. Suddenly I thought of Hohenheim. What would he have felt like, if he had heard his native language once again? The thought made me feel lonelier and sadder than I already was.

Sad, just like the tune Envy was singing.

Suddenly, an idea came to my mind. Of course. Why hadn't I thought of that before?

The song was long and by the time Envy was finished, the kids were out like a light.

He morphed back into himself, tugged them in and turned the light off. The moonlight shone onto his face, when he turned around. I could see him blanch, when he saw me in the door frame.

He stammered: "E-Edward, I can expl-"

I raised my hand to silence him. "Come with me", I said calmly.

Envy gulped audibly, before following me.

 ***Envy's POV***

We came to his room, he stepped in after me and locked the door. Despite knowing that he couldn't harm me, my self-preservation instinct screamed for me to jump out of the window and run for dear life. It's a human desire to live and homunculi have it too, that is, I do.

When I looked at his face, it didn't show any emotion.

My throat felt constricted. It wasn't the same old, same old, was it?

Finally he spoke and his voice was too calm: "Envy, what you did back there-"

I panicked. "Listen, I know it was wrong, I'm sorry, please, just-"

He covered my mouth with his hand, preventing me from speaking further.

"What you did there for the children...do it for me too."

"What?", I asked with a flat voice.

"You heard me. Turn into Winry for me."

Ah. Of course.

I should have known.

I should have known that he would ask this of me sooner or later.

He knew better than to try and bring _her_ back to life, but why bother anyway, when you have a shapeshifter, who can take her form? I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to contain the bitterness inside me.

Then I turned into _her_.

My black hair turned blonde and changed style, my body shrunk and became female, voluptuous breasts appeared, my skin became lightly tanned and my eyes became big and blue.

He had this strange look in his eyes that I couldn't define, when he saw me like this.

"Winry", he whispered.

I nodded and forced a smile. "Ed", I breathed, with the voice that was _hers_.

He walked up to me and took me in his arms. The touch was electrifying and torturous at the same time.

I knew what was going to happen.

I knew how the song and dance went all too well.

One of his hands clasped my waist, while the other cupped my face.

Then his lips were on mine.

I should have pushed him away.

But I found that I couldn't muster the strength or even the will to.

I have kissed more people than I could think of in that moment, but the sensations his kiss awoke in me were so foreign, so invigorating. His taste was intoxicating, I wanted more.

"Tell me what you want", I breathed into his ear and he shuddered, much to my satisfaction.

He kissed me fiercely and then pointed with his head to the left.

The look in his eyes was smouldering. "My bed. Now."

I let it happen.

I let him touch me, worship me, taste me, or better, the person I was impersonating.

He smiled at me. Not smirked. Smiled. "You're so beautiful", he whispered and kissed me deeply.

I wanted to cry.

Beautiful?

That wasn't meant for me.

It was meant for _her_. He only said that because I looked like _her_. He was kissing me, doing all of this with me, because I was looking like _her_.

I felt my old friend jealousy kick in. I almost pushed him away and knocked it off, but the way he was holding me, touching me...I couldn't. Disgusting human emotions! I hate that I feel this way, why do I have to be attracted to this man!

What was I feeling right there anyway? Euphoria? Hurt? Probably both.

Euphoria because Edward was touching me, loving me, because I could do all these things with him, because I could touch him, kiss him, make him moan in pleasure, whimper and writhe in want, look at me with eyes clouded in desire, because being with him like this just felt so fucking good.

Hurt because all of this wasn't meant for me. It wasn't my name he moaned, it was _hers_. All the sweet lies he whispered into my ear were for _her_. He let me do this to him, because I could pretend to be _her_.

I loved how he kissed me, made love to me, made me feel pleasure I had never felt before, not even on my first time, when Lust had taken my so-called innocence.

I hated that it wasn't _me_ he was making love to. It was _her_. It was always _her_.

Was _that_ his way of mourning his _beloved_ Winry? That was sick. That was wrong on so many levels and trust me, that means something coming from a Deadly Sin.

Edward came first, of course.

I had taken my time teasing him before giving him the satisfaction of fucking me senseless.

 _I_ seduced _him_ , not the other way around.

My resolution was to please him like I knew no one ever had before and no one ever would. However skilled his whores may be, they'd never reach up to me. He would think of _me_ and only me, when he fucked them, of that I'd make sure.

But I have to hand it to him, he's damn good in bed. It didn't take long before I too lost myself in the passion and for one small moment I could almost imagine that he loved me.

Almost.

It wasn't the real thing.

"Did you enjoy it?", I asked when we were finished, sat up and shifted back into myself. "Are you satisfied?"

Did my voice really sound that hollow?

He was too out of breath to answer properly, but the way he looked at me confirmed that I had achieved my goal of giving it to him like no other.

Finally he spoke up: "Envy...why did you...?"

 _Let you do this? Go along with it? Not push you away?_

I couldn't tell him about my real feelings. I wasn't even completely sure about them. I'm not even supposed to have any, besides envy and jealousy. So I just said: "I don't know."

Liar.

I knew exactly why.

He sat up in his bed and I got out and stood.

"It wasn't like with Winry – don't worry, I didn't expect it to", he added, when I gave him the nastiest frown I could manage. "But I really enjoyed it...it was...wonderful."

That caught me by surprise. Not that he enjoyed it, that much had been obvious. But that he really liked the way I fucked him.

I looked away. "Good. Nice to know I haven't lost my touch yet. But Edward..."

Now I turned back to him and looked at him sombrely.

"...Don't ever make me do this again."

A part of me wanted to do this again, to be touched by him, loved by him, to get his undivided attention. But was it really worth it?

He looked at me earnestly, so much that I almost believed him. Almost.

"I won't. Promise, I won't."

Liar.

…

 **Envy reflects on his conflicting feelings towards Edward and things get out of hand.**


	42. Selfish, ruthless, fucked up

**Chapter forty: Selfish, ruthless, fucked up**

 ***Edward's POV***

When I had promised Envy that I wouldn't ask him to pose as Winry again, it was a lie.

I knew that and he probably knew it too. At least he didn't look surprised, when I asked him again a few weeks later, after being dumped by my next girlfriend.

What surprised me was that he complied again. It had surprised me the first time too. When I had asked him why, he had claimed he didn't know. We both knew it was a lie, but as much as I wanted to know the truth, I decided not to pry further into it. Knowing Envy, he probably wouldn't give me an honest answer.

He was good. No, scratch that, he was amazing. I had never experienced something like that in my entire life. Not with Winry, not with any of the girls I had hooked up since her death.

I knew it was wrong. I shouldn't use Envy as a substitute for Winry, just because I couldn't get some damn closure. It was selfish, ruthless and fucked up.

Winry would have hated me for this.

I wondered what Envy thought about what we were doing.

Did he even care?

And if he did, was he angry? Sad? Hurt? Did he enjoy it?

Probably something in between.

I could tell that he enjoyed it, by the way he looked at me, moaned and sighed, when I made love to him, when he was in Winry's shape.

I could tell that it hurt him by the way he behaved afterwards. I promised that I would stop this, every time we did it, but we both knew I was lying.

I should have stopped this after the very first time, latest.

But I couldn't.

I needed to indulge my selfish, ruthless, fucked up wish to see her, to hear her voice, to talk to her, touch and make love to her, just once more.

Just once more became after each of my flings ended.

We didn't always fuck. Sometimes we just sat and talked.

Envy had known Winry better than I'd given him credit. Talking to him in her shape was just like talking to the real her. He knew what to say, how to react to my words. Only sometimes he slipped back into his own patterns, but otherwise, he played his role perfectly.

He played his part and I played mine. We took advantage of each other.

It was a charade, a selfish, ruthless, fucked up charade.

Selfish, because I indulged my own egoistic wish of being with my dead wife again, without thinking about what she would have thought about it, or what Envy, who was pretending to be her, thought about it, because I wanted to pretend that I wasn't a widower yet.

Ruthless, because despite having a hunch about how Envy was feeling when I made him play Winry, when we fucked, when I kept seeing one woman after another, I kept doing it.

Fucked up, because despite how much I hated myself for it, Envy was the only person I could do this with. Kindness would have refused and told me to get a grip on my life, but I _needed_ to have her back, just for a little while, even though I knew that this wouldn't help me at all to get over her.

A really dastardly part of me told me not to think about it, Envy was a Deadly Sin, a homicidal, bipolar, gender-confused homunculus with an even crazier style.

That thought made me want to set that part of me on fire.

Just because Envy was a homunculus didn't mean he had no feelings.

I knew better than thinking that way. Of course he was capable of feeling other things than jealousy, I had seen it with my own eyes. I knew when he was hurting and that was the case right there.

And knowing that he was hurting because of my selfish, ruthless and fucked up behaviour made me feel guilty. No one should be treated the way I treated him.

And the worst about this was the knowledge that we both were taking advantage of each other's feelings, I more so than him.

I'm a terrible person.

 _I'm sorry, Envy. I really am._

…

 **Ed reflecting on his shitty situation and wallowing in self-pity. Can somebody smack him? I can't because that would make me a hypocrite.**


	43. What big sisters are for

**Chapter forty-one: What big sisters are for**

*Envy's POV*

"You really should stop letting Edward do this shit to you", Humility said out of the blue, when I was helping her with dinner in the kitchen.

That statement caught me off guard and instead of the vegetables I was cutting, I chopped off my own hand. I screamed in pain and surprise and clutched the stump of my wrist.

"Oh my god, Envy, I'm so sorry!", Humility cried and dropped whatever she was holding at the moment to hurry over to see if I'm okay. She wasn't wearing her oversized robe, it would have been a bother while cooking. So everyone could now see her wispy figure.

Her caring for us Sins is kinda cute. She doesn't give a damn who we are, the only thing that matters to her is that we're her younger siblings. At first she went on my nerves because, in my eyes, she was essentially a nicer, down-to-earth, self-deprecating and colourless version of Pride. But then I realised one important trait of Humility: she doesn't look down on anyone, never would, and I like that, because it means that she doesn't look down on _me_. Unlike Pride, she doesn't view me as a lesser being and doesn't despise me because of what I really look like.

The white-head came over to check.

I forced a grin. "I'm fine, Humility. See, my hand is already growing back."

It was. Still hurt like a bitch though. Man, do I hate pain.

"I'm so sorry", she apologised again, "That was all my fault! I'll never say things out of the blue while you're cutting vegetables again, I promise!"

"Yeah, yeah", I muttered, "Stop apologising. I'm fine. So, what was that you said earlier?"

"Oh yes", Humility remembered, "I said: 'You really should stop letting Edward do this shit to you'. He's using you and you know it."

I turned away to look out of the window. Suddenly the blossoming cherry tree in the garden seemed to be very interesting to me.

"...So you know. Are you spying on us with your shadows? Or are we just that loud?"

"Not loud enough to disturb anyone."

True. Hohenheim's former room and the sickbay was between mine and Ed's rooms and the one of Alphonse and Mei and the room above Ed's belongs to Humility herself.

"As for my shadows – don't worry, I'm not a voyeur. When you first did it, I retreated them from his room as soon as you two started kissing. Now I do it as soon as he makes you turn into _her_ , because really, I don't need to see what follows."

I sighed. While I'm grateful that Humility doesn't invade other people's privacy like Pride, I still didn't feel much better about it. Like she just had said, it isn't hard to guess what follows upon me turning into _her_ for Edward and just seeing that is all the information the hoary homunculus needs.

I nearly jumped out of my skin, when she put a hand on my shoulder.

Humility is about my height, but her high heels make her just a little taller. Which reminds me...Edward used to wear high heels to make himself taller back then, didn't he?

"You're just making yourself miserable, my little sibling", she said.

"Do you think I don't know that? Don't you think I haven't thought about quitting?", I asked unhappily, "It hurts so much and I really want to end it, but when he looks at me that way, talks to me that way, kisses me, touches me, I can't! I know he's taking advantage of me, but I'm doing the same to him! It's selfish, ruthless and fucked up, but I can't get enough of how fucking good it feels to be with him like that, I know all the attention isn't meant for me, but I take it anyway, because I just...I just..."

 _I just want to be with him._

My voice failed me and only my pride kept me from bursting into tears in front of my oldest sister. It wasn't necessary anyway.

"Come here", she said softly and scrawny arms wrapped themselves around me.

I didn't cry. But I allowed myself to requite her hug and be sad. The sweet scent of strawberries she was giving off had an oddly uplifting effect on my spirit.

"You have it really bad, haven't you?", she mumbled into my ear.

I chuckled bitterly. "Yeah. I guess I do. Don't tell anyone."

"Don't worry. I won't."

"It hurts so much", I sniffed, "It's worse than drugs!"

"I know", Humility cooed, "But you know what, Envy? Even though you might not be feeling like it, you're pretty strong. You can get through this. I have faith in you."

Faith … in me. That was such a ridiculous thing to say, but it was just what I needed to hear.

"Thanks", I mumbled and let her go.

She smiled: "Hey, no problem."

"You should cut your hair", I told her, "Especially the bangs in your face. That hairstyle is stupid. I haven't looked you in the eyes for almost a year. It's annoying."

Humility chuckled. What was so funny?

"There is the Envy I know", she said smiling. "And you're one to talk about hairstyles! You look like a palm tree."

I glared hard. "Ghost girl."

"Hermaphrodite."

"Rake."

"Chameleon."

"Phantom."

"Leviathan."

"Crone."

"Bipolar child."

"Old hag."

"Hormonal teen."

"Anorexic."

"Creep."

"Minx."

"Stripper."

I gasped: "I don't look like a stripper!"

She smirked mischievously: "Yes, you do. Ever looked at yourself and your outfit?"

I looked down at myself.

My sleeveless belly top revealed my sexy abs and my skort the outlines of my hipbones. It barely covered my ass and private parts, showing off my long legs in all their pale glory and the ouroboros on my left thigh. My black hair reached down to my hips and I was barefoot.

Ugh...she was _right!_ I totally looked like a stripper.

I muttered something under my breath. Unfortunately Humility heard it. I really wanted to punch that smug grin off her face.

"Don't think for one second that I'll change my style!", I snarled.

Her grin widened and she laughed, which agitated me even more. What was so funny?!

"Welcome back!", she giggled and hugged me again.

Oh. So that had been her intention. Heh...she had actually managed to cheer me up.

I joined her laughter and we stood there for a while laughing like complete idiots.

"Hey guys! What's so funny?"

Not even Edward Elric could spoil my good mood right now.

I smirked at him. "Oh, we're just making style jokes."

Humility smirked evilly: "I have an idea – let's gang up on this blond human and nag about his poor sense of style and then smack him with your wrench!"

I smirked back: "Sounds like a fucking sweet plan."

Ed recoiled immediately: "St-stay away from me, you fiends! There is nothing wrong with my style! At least I'm wearing normal clothes and have a normal hairstyle!"

I mock-gasped: "Are you saying _our_ style is wrong and that looking unique is bad?!"

He blushed embarrassed. It was delicious. "N-nonono, I just-"

"Your hairstyle is the _only_ normal thing about _you_ , Edward", Humility pointed out.

I started cackling at his face. I have to say, she's pretty cool for a Virtue.

"At least he isn't wearing that stupid red coat he had when he was a pipsqueak", I snickered.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE COULD BE MISTAKEN FOR A LADYBUG!"

I smirked: "You'd be a cute ladybug though."

"AAARRGGGHHH!"

He tore his hair, while Humility and I laughed our asses off.

After he ran off with a huff, I recovered and grinned at Humility.

"Thanks. You really brightened up my day."

She chuckled. "Hey, that's what big sisters are for."

I flinched a little, when she ruffled my hair, but tolerated it anyway. Geez. Just thirteen years ago, I would have chopped her head off for doing that...

…

I had hoped that we would get the day off, since we had finished sowing new plants for the garden yesterday. I mean, we had worked so hard! Couldn't we get a break?

Hehe, nope. Not on Freckles' watch. That ginger is such a slave driver, seriously.

So instead of letting us relax, she made us train until afternoon.

And the worst thing was that it was Friday. Which meant that there was a lot of Edward Elric in my schedule. I hated that we shared so many units. Five to be exact. Fuuuuuuck!

But training passed quickly today.

I outran Humility and Patience yet again (kid is pretty fast though, I gotta hand him that), lost against the bean girl (while Alphonse lost against Temperance) and got a small break in form of Ghost Girl's Tai Chi (probably something she learned in Xing). It would have been nice, had not Edward been sitting next to me. I just can't think straight when he's around! Fuck! Well, at least the brats provided some distraction.

Torturing the Elric brothers and Freckles in my gymnastic lesson was fun, even though my possibilities were limited. They were pretty good though. At least Alphonse, Edward was never paying attention. I hate when he doesn't pay attention to me.

This time I didn't skip pain tolerance, because I hoped that the pain would distract me from thinking about that ex-pipsqueak too hard. Needless to say, I was the first to scream in pain. I always was, because...I just can't stand pain. It helped me forget my troubles for a few moments though.

During Freckles' power training Greed proved to be a sore loser yet again, haha.

Charity's relaxation training was heavenly as ever and it was nice to talk to Lust outside of her goddamn pain tolerance lesson. And Kindness wasn't so bad company either, I guess.

But goddammit, combat training!

Miss Oh-so-Pure knew that I was holding back when I fought Edward and I hated it when she called me out on it. But I couldn't help it.

For some reason I can't attack him for real. I can't bring myself to really hurt him, not any-more.

And I hate myself for this weakness. I'm ashamed of being attracted to him.

However, today I was particularly pissed at Edward. Why? Because he had hooked up yet another woman and tomorrow, we were going to meet her.

Gha. She'll just be another blond bimbo who'll leave him after a few days, I know it. I bet she doesn't even know that we fuck behind their back. I'm his dirty little secret.

That's why I was so pissed at him today.

So it happened that today I came out of my defensive for once and attacked him fervently. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see Miss Oh-so-Pure blink in surprise, but I didn't care. I wanted to make him pay for causing me such agony. He seemed to be surprised by my offensive as well, but kept dodging my attacks. After a while I could hear Chastity yell at me to stop and calm down, but I didn't give a fuck about that either.

It frustrated me that I never could land a hit on the ex-pipsqueak, but then I had the most ingenious idea. However, before I could make use of it, Chastity stepped in and between us. Yup, now I was definitely pissed off!

"I think we should pause the lesson for a minute", she said calmly. "I'd like to have a word with you, Envy."

Fuming with anger, because she had interfered, I followed her.

"Why did you interfere?", I hissed, "Don't you always tell me to go into the offensive more when I fight?"

"Yes, but that's not what I mean."

What.

The.

Fuck.

And why did she look at me like that, so...concerned?

She explained: "Look, when I say 'go into the offensive' I don't mean 'dash forward without thinking and let your passion run away with your senses'. When you fight you must never let your emotions get the better of you or you will do something you regret afterwards. You were blinded by your anger, that's why I had to step in. Don't let your feelings for Edward determine your actions."

 _My feelings for him..._

"What are you going on about?", I asked quietly. Had I been trying so hard to hide it and everyone could tell what was going on anyway? Had I become such a shitty actor?

"Don't give me that crap, Envy. I'm too old to fall for that nonsense. So do tell me, because as a woman I'm naturally curious. Do you love him?"

 _Where the fuck did that come from? Whatever makes her think that I would actually_ love _this lowly human-and even if I did, there's no way I'll ever say that!_

"O-of course not! I'm a homunculus! Homunculi don't love! And even if, I'd never feel anything fo-for a lowly _human_ , especially not that ex-pips-"

She put a hand on my mouth. "Do you really believe that?", she asked calmly. "Do you really think that homunculi can't love? Did Father drill that into your head or are you trying to convince yourself of it to keep these painful, confusing feelings away from you?"

Fuck. She had me. I bit my lip and turned away, hiding my face behind my hair.

Seeing my affliction, Miss Oh-so-Pure decided to make a little compromise: "Okay, perhaps it's too early to call it love, but you like him, don't you? You're attracted to him, you care about him."

I didn't want to admit that she was right and asked quietly: "What makes you think that?"

She lifted a brow: "Envy, you may be the incarnation of jealousy, but we've been talking to your fellow sins and they all (except for Sloth) have observed that you've been even more jealous than usual during the last few months."

They all had noticed...even Gluttony...I felt so exposed. Just like back then, when Edward...

"...and Kindness noticed that you're especially pissed when Edward and his...uh, escapades are concerned. Envy, are you listening?"

I blinked and looked back to her. "Huh?"

She facepalmed. "Never mind. Anyway, I'm in no position to give you advice on your dysfunctional not-relationship with Edward."

 _Damn right you're not, Miss Oh-so-Pure!_

"But I do know something that might make you feel better for the moment."

"Oh yeah?", I muttered unenthusiastically, "And that would be?"

Suddenly she smirked conspiratorially. Oho, now that intrigued me!

"Well", she drawled, "Considering we're both pissed at him for bringing all these whores into my house, how about we teach him a lesson about being a good guest..."

She whispered something into my ear. A sinister grin crept onto my face. Then she turned to Edward, who was standing there unsuspectingly, waiting for Chastity's lesson to be continued.

"Okay, let's resume our combat training! Just follow the instructions I have given you. Control your emotions, don't let _them_ control _you_. And...GO!"

We charged at each other again. I was much calmer now, thanks to what Chastity had whispered into my ear. This time I had a concrete plan: to catch the ex-pipsqueak when and where he least expected it. Hehehe...

Edward charged at me with his blade, I ducked, glided under him and rammed my knee between his legs, right into his testicles.

The pained scream and the string of profanities he gave off caused everyone to look over curiously.

I stood up, while he remained huddling on the floor, clutching his private parts, swearing like there was no tomorrow.

With a catty smirk, I leaned down to him and scolded. "Now, now, ex-pipsqueak! Not in front of Chastity's virgin ears! And think of your children! They're still here too, you know? And calling me these things! You're so rude!"

Looking over, I saw the little pipsqueaks sit next to a blinking Temperance and Patience, looking like two confused puppies. Next to them Greed snickering and Lust smirking like no tomorrow. Humility seemingly confused, it was hard to say with her white bangs covering her eyes. Alphonse, Kindness and Charity were giving Edward pitying looks while trying to contain their laughter. The Xingese wasn't trying at all, she was laughing her ass off. And she wasn't the only one. When I turned to Chastity, she was struggling to keep herself upright, because she was laughing so hard. No shitting, she really was. And it was amazing. I'd never thought that the chilly Miss Oh-so-Pure could laugh or even had a sense of humour! Really, the Virtues never cease to surprise me.

"That was awesome!", she giggled, "That's what I call a surprise attack! Well done, Envy! I'm proud of you! Right where it hurts most! Ahhh, gorgeous!"

"It's not funny!", Edward groaned, still clutching his balls.

I giggled: "Oh, but it totally is!"

Chastity came over, grinning like a Chesire cat. "Your fault, Edward. I told you to pay more attention to your surroundings. And it's not like you didn't have it coming. Remember to protect your...crown jewels better next time."

She turned to everyone: "Alright, training is over for today! Go to Kindness, Mei and Charity to get treatment for your wounds. Especially you, Edward. Kindness will be able to take care of your...problem. And leave it at that for a while. Judging by the ferocity Envy kicked your private parts with, you won't be able to...well, _use_ them for weeks."

Everyone cackled, me most of all. Edward glared at us all before tumbling towards sickbay, waiting for Kindness to come and treat him. Then everyone followed him inside, leaving only me and Chastity outside.

I smirked at her. "Why thanks, Ice Queen. Your idea made my day! Kicking him in the balls made me feel so much better!"

The blonde Virtue smirked back. "Oh, you're welcome. I love it when men get kicked into their testicles. And we both got back at him for his behaviour, so it's a win-win-situation. For the two of us, that is", she added, winking. "Besides – us homunculi have to stand together sometimes and it doesn't matter if we're Virtues or Sins. What matters is that we're siblings. And to cheer you up when you're upset, that's what big sisters are for."

She stretched herself. "Now let's go inside already. Charity is making parfaits for everyone and I know how much you love sweets."

"Will I get a chocolate parfait?", I asked hopefully, I swear I must have had sparkles in my eyes.

She chuckled good-naturedly. "Well, she knows what everyone likes, so I assume that you will! Come on, let's have our well-earned treats."

Half an hour later, we all were sitting at the table and I was nibbling the most delicious chocolate parfait I'd ever tasted. Utter bliss.

I winked at Charity and she grinned from ear to ear.

This was officially the best day in months.

…

 **Envy is super depressed, but the Virtues got their sibling's back. :3**


	44. The new woman

**Chapter forty-two: The new woman**

I want to kill someone. Namely a certain blond, golden-eyed ex-alchemist and his whore.

Yes, today we met her. That is, he brought her into Chastity's house, much to my poor sister's chagrin. Yes, I said poor sister. She had to put up with Edward bringing all his whores into her house. Why did she anyway? I mean, she could easily have given them house bans or something.

I was in the living room, explaining the Philosopher's Stone to the children because the Elric brothers and Mei were away (the younger Elric and Mei were picking up Pride, who was going to spend the weekend here), Chastity was lying on a chaise and reading for herself, Greed was smoking and watching us like the creep he is, Kindness and Temperance were playing chess, when someone knocked at the door.

Chastity sighed, when she heard the knock, stood up and looked out of the window. The disgust on her face told me everything.

" _She's_ here", the Virtue growled and went to open the door. I readied myself for the torture. The whore would just be another blonde bimbo who would ditch him after a few days or weeks, if he was unfortunate enough. Yes, _they_ always broke up with _him_. Either they couldn't handle how fucked up he was since _sh_ \- since _Winry_ had died, or he bored them.

Everyone looked over and stopped what they were doing (Kindness quickly became Dr. Angel) and I found my suspicion confirmed, when he came in with a dyed blonde with pink hair extensions. However, her eyes weren't blue, like Winry's, but café. And she didn't look much like her.

Woohoo, progress. Perhaps there's still hope for him. Note my sarcasm.

She was awfully chipper and had that obnoxious look in her eyes, like 'I got Edward Elric and you didn't, suckers'. I wanted to tear her into pieces.

"We're here", Edward called out. The children promptly hid behind me. I let them. Had I been in their place, the prospect of having that tramp as a stepmother would frighten me too. I know I'm one to talk – after all I started a war by blowing a little girl's face off – but this woman didn't exactly look child-friendly to me either. Something inside me stirred at the thought that she should be the kids' new mother...it was more than the burning jealousy of her being at Edward's side. Was I feeling bad for the brats? Compassion? I didn't feel compassion. That was Kindness's forte and I'm Envy, his polar opposite. But...I was... _attracted_ to their father. I had been fond of their mother. They acted a lot like their parents. They looked just like them. So I guess it made sense that I felt a certain attachment to the children as well.

Back to the present, the children were currently trying to hide behind me, which was a bit difficult with my petite frame and slender legs.

"Hey guys", the ex-pipsqueak said, "I want you to meet Laura Green, my fiancée."

My eyes widened.

 _Fiancée_.

The word hit me as painfully as Mustang's flames and as coldly as Chastity's ice spears. I had thought she would just be another whore, but I had been wrong.

 _Fiancée_.

I wanted to kill them both, wanted to run away screaming and crying, wanted to kill myself to end this unbearable agony.

How long had they been seeing each other for him to decide that he wanted to-

 _Fiancée_.

He wanted to marry her. Marry that wench with that jarring neon green dress and these pink hair extensions, who was clinging to him like a leech.

 _Fiancée._

What did he see in her? That young fake blonde (she couldn't be older than nineteen) with the too big breasts, too much make up on her face, disgustingly smug pop eyes (I swear, not even Pride ever looked that smug!) and-

"Oh my gosh, so you're Ed's friends? It's sooo nice to meet you!"

-and that obnoxiously high and shrill voice.

I just about managed to keep myself from flying at her and mustered a fake smile, but shielded the kids behind me. At least they should be spared that ghastly view.

I took a quick look at the others. Kindness's smile was just as fake as mine, Chastity and Temperance weren't even trying, only Greed was as suave as ever.

He was the first to speak: "Why, hello, Miss Green. The name's Greed. It's a pleasure to meet a pretty lady like you."

I blinked – had Greed just _lied_? Greed _never_ lied! Never ever!

She giggled like a vain bitch. "The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Greed. Is this your manor?"

Greed chuckled: "Nah, I'm just a free-loader. This hut belongs to my older sister here."

Calling Chastity's lordly manor house a hut was laughable, but whatever.

He pointed with his head towards Chastity.

"Yes", our second oldest sister finally said coolly. "This is my house. Professor Agnes Virginia Angel. Pleased to meet you." She briskly held out her hand.

The wench looked disturbed at Chastity's cold manner for a moment, then she fake-smiled and took the offered hand. They almost instantly let go, as if stung by an adder.

Then she noticed me and tugged at Edward's sleeve.

"Eddie, who's that _teen_ over there?"

" _Teen"? You mean "stripper" or "freak", don't you? I can tell! Say it to my face, you ugly slut..._

She thought I was a freak. I knew it. I could see it in her eyes. The only reason she hadn't said it was to keep herself in his favour, as I seemed to be a friend.

Now I wanted to murder her even more.

Edward smiled. "That's Envy. Envy, that is-"

"Your fiancée Laura Green", I deadpanned, "Yeah, you just said that." I turned to her, mustering an affable smile. "Charmed, Miss. As your _betrothed_ here just said, my name is Envy. And I'm _not_ a stripper, that's just my style."

I heard Greed snicker in the background, though whether it was because of my remark or the stupid look on her face that wasn't clear. I didn't care anyway.

For a second, she looked genuinely confused, before regaining her self-composure. "I never said you're a stripper", she stated.

My smile turned dark. "Oh, but you thought it, didn't you?", I accused her in a low voice, "Your eyes say it all. I get that look often enough to recognise it."

"Well, maybe you should change your style then. You _freak show_!", she hissed.

I purred darkly: "I'm not going to engage in a spat with someone like you about something as trivial as this." Then I raised my voice so _he_ could hear me. "But don't you think Ed's a bit too old for you? How old are you anyway?"

She gasped: "Mister Envy – you're a man, right – you never ask a lady her age!"

A lady? Hah! The six-year-old tomboy hiding behind my legs was more ladylike than her!

Edward grinned: "She's just turned nineteen."

I smirked. She wasn't amused.

"Eddieee", she whined like a little bitch. "How could you?"

I turned to him. "She's ten years younger than you. Almost a _child_." (At that she glared at me – haha!) "Don't you think you should look for something more your age?", I joked.

Greed started cackling, Temperance snorted, the other two Virtues grinned amusedly.

Okay, that was hypocritical of me – after all, I was six times his age. But nothing like some teasing to make yourself feel better, am I right?

For the split of a second, one of his eyebrows darted upwards, before he decided to play along.

"Are you calling me old?", he retorted humorously.

I mock-gasped: "Oh, but ex-pipsqueak! I couldn't possibly! I'd never!"

His grin turned into a frown. "Don't call me ex-pipsqueak in front of my fiancée."

I pouted: "Awww, but why not? You used to be such a _small_ pipsqueak! _Hagane no chibi-san_ ", I added with a teasing smirk.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT-" I slapped his mouth shut.

"Now, now", I chided, "You don't want to lapse into your old don't-call-me-short-rants in front of your...future wife now, do you?"

"Wha!"

Now everyone laughed, even her.

Then she turned to me, this time with genuine interest. "How long have you known each other?"

I grinned. "Well, I met him when he was fifteen." I sighed nostalgically, fondly remembering these old times, "He just reached up over my shoulder. And what a hot-blooded chibi he was!"

"Envyyyyy", Edward snarled.

His bitch turned to him, looking him up and down. She was obviously trying – and failing – to imagine him being shorter than I.

Then she seemed to grow suspicious.

"Wait a minute. Just how old are _you_? There is no way you're older than Eddie!"

Okay, perhaps she was smarter than I thought.

"Yes, he is", everyone in the room answered for me (except for the kids of course).

I mock-gasped: "But Miss Green! You never ask a lady her age!"

Her face was priceless.

Now Greed was rolling on the floor, roaring with laughter, Edward was smirking in amusement and the Virtues were snickering in the background. Hehe. I'm such a comedian.

I grinned: "Just kidding. I'm not a woman. As for my age – not telling!"

Oho, if her looks could kill...well, to her misfortune I'm a homunculus.

She calmed herself down and turned to Edward: "You said you have children. Where are they? I want to meet them!"

Did she? I wasn't convinced. And neither was Greed. Or the Virtues. Or the kids for that matter.

Edward blinked. "I could have sworn I saw them earlier..."

I sighed and turned to the kids who were still hiding behind me. Then I stepped to the side, revealing them to their father and...future _stepmother_. The word made me sick to my stomach.

Gently I pushed them forward with my hands on their shoulders.

"Come on, kids", I encouraged them, "Meet your future stepmother."

She pouted: "Aww, but stepmother is such an ugly word. Eddie, you have the cutest kids ever!"

 _Liar! And stop calling him Eddie, I'm going to throw up!_

"Come here, sweeties! Let your future mum hug you!" And she promptly glomped them too tight.

"Not so tight, you're suffocating them!", I cried when I saw them fight for breath. She let go.

Finally Edward broke out of his reverie and asked Chastity: "Do you mind if I show my fiancée around your house?"

She only sighed: "Go ahead."

Now to everyone's surprise (especially mine), Greed spoke up: "Hey, while you two have your quality time, how about Chastity takes the kids along on her trip to town? That's fine with ya?"

She smiled and sighed in mock-desperation: "I guess I have no other choice."

"Good", he continued, "The kids need to get out for other reasons than school once in a while and she needs to go out anyway, so they could come along – what do you say, kids?"

Their cheering was answer enough.

The ex-pipsqueak smiled: "You two have fun with Ch-Agnes then", he corrected himself, when Chastity threw him a warning glare. "Come, Laura. I'll show you around."

"Oh, I'm so excited! I can't wait to get to know the house you live in!", the bitch squealed, like some over the top fangirl. Right there, I really envied the little pipsqueaks for getting to leave with Miss Oh-so-Pure. I couldn't leave without the company of a Virtue, because I was still under house arrest.

Chastity's eyes met mine and to my surprise, she offered: "You can come along, if you want."

I could have fallen around her neck right there, but instead I just said: "Sure, I'm game. Just give me a few minutes to change."

She nodded. "Hurry up."

I dashed past Edward and the bitch, ran to my room, put a few human clothes on that seemed appropriate for the weather, tied my hair up and ran back into the living room, where Edward was helping his children put their boots and rain coats on (it was raining outside).

He kissed them goodbye and then took his...fiancée by the hand, leading her into the hallway I just had come from. Kindness and Temperance, who were still sitting on their armchairs like two statists in a theatre piece, sighed in relief and went back to playing chess.

Chastity sighed too. "Thank Gate. Are you three ready?"

The kids and I nodded.

She put her keys into her pocket. "Alright then, let's-"

"Wait!"

We all blinked in confusion, when Greed emerged from the stairway, dressed in a blue raincoat Charity had lend to him (it had previously belonged to Miss Oh-so-Pure, that's why it fit him) and black rain boots Lust had bought him in a fit of generosity.

"Uh, can I come with you?", he asked awkwardly.

Chastity shrugged: "I don't see why not. But what do you say, Envy?"

It was nice that she cared about my opinion, really kind. I could tell that if I was against it, she would have said no as well, but right now I preferred putting up with Greed than with the whore.

I shrugged: "Sure, why not."

"Great", she said, "Come everyone! Let's go!"

We hurriedly left the house.

When we arrived at the car, Miss Oh-so-Pure opened the doors and awkwardly scratched her head.

"Uhm, can one of you two drive? I don't have a license."

I frowned: "If you don't have a license, then why do you own a car?"

She shrugged: "At the time I was the only one who could afford one and Kindness needed his one for work."

Greed scoffed: "The Samaritan could afford one too, if she chose to keep some of the money she earns for herself."

"True", Chastity agreed. "So, who of you-"

"He can", Greed said and pointed at me.

I lifted an eyebrow. "You mean you can't drive?"

He shrugged: "I always had others drive for me, so no."

I facepalmed. "Ugh. I shouldn't be surprised. Alright, get in. The sooner we get away, the better."

We got in, I started the car and drove off as quickly as possible with the kids in the back seats.

*Greed's POV*

The very moment Edward had introduced that wench at his fiancée, I knew that something was definitely wrong. Yup, he had officially gone nuts. His old wife had been one awesome lady, but his new girly friend...well, let's just say, not even I could ever want that.

And then I saw Envy. His already pale face turned ashen, his eyes widened and he looked like he was falling apart on the inside. That reaction confirmed the suspicions I'd had pretty much since we had moved here. Little Envy the Jealous had fallen for Edward Elric, whether he was aware of it or not. Poor thing.

He wasn't the only one who was shocked though. Pretty much everyone in the room was aghast, even me, and Eds kids hid behind Envy, who stood in front of them, shielding them from her view.

Somehow, I managed to keep my self-composure and grinned, introducing myself in my usual suave manner. My very flesh crawled, when I lied through my teeth and called her a pretty lady. This was my second lie ever and it was probably obvious to everyone but Edward and... _her_.

When she giggled and asked me if this was my house I almost gagged and quickly passed the conversation over to Chastity, who was as frosty as ever.

And then she noticed Envy. "Eddie, who's that _teen_ over there?"

The way she said "teen" made it obvious that she meant something else, something _very_ offensive. I wanted to hurt her. Seriously. How dare she mock my sibling, that was _my_ job!

Envy's face darkened for a second, before he nonchalantly interrupted Edward, who had been about to introduce them to each other: "Your fiancée Laura Green, you just said that. Charmed, Miss. As your _betrothed_ here" he almost spat the word out, "just said, my name is Envy. And I'm _not_ a stripper, that is just my style", he added snappily.

I snickered. _Sweet burn. Do you want some ice for that burn, Missie? Ask Chastity, hahaha!_

She quickly recovered though. "I never said you're a stripper."

"Oh, but you thought it, didn't you?" His voice was dangerously low. "Your eyes say it all. I get that look often enough to recognise it."

"Well, maybe you should change your style then. You _freak show_ ", she hissed.

My hands curled into fists. _Fucking bitch._

Envy snorted: "I'm not going to engage in a spat with someone like _you_ about something as insignificant as _this_. But don't you think Ed's a bit too old for you? How old are you anyway?"

She gasped: "Mister Envy – you're a man, right – you never ask a lady her age!"

A lady?! Hah! Even first-class tomboy Diligence was more ladylike than her!

Edward said the girl was nineteen. He was twenty-nine. Bit of an age gap, at least for humans, if you ask me. At having her age revealed, she whined like a little bitch and Envy asked Ed: "Don't you think you should look for something more your age?"

Edward noticed the mockery in his voice and humoured him: "Are you calling me _old_?"

Envy mock-gasped: "Meee? Oh, but ex-pipsqueak! I couldn't possibly! I'd never!"

"Don't call me ex-pipsqueak in front of my fiancée!"

Envy pouted: "Awww, but why not? You were such a _small_ chibi! _Hagane no chibi-san._ "

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT-"

Ah, the old don't-call-me-short-rants. I had missed them! However, before he could finish, Envy covered his mouth with his hands (even though he probably would have loved to listen too).

"Now, now! You don't want to lapse into your old don't-call-me-short-rants in front of your _future wife_ now, do you, _ex-pipsqueak_?"

"Wah!"

 _She_ asked Envy with seemingly genuine interest: "How long have you known each other?"

"Well, I met him when he was fifteen." He sighed nostalgically, "He didn't even reach up to my shoulder. And what a hot-blooded little chibi he was!"

"Envyyyyy", Edward warned darkly, cracking his knuckles.

I struggled to keep in my laughter. This was just comedy gold!

But then the wench suddenly asked Envy suspiciously: "Wait a minute – just how _old_ are you? There's no way you're older than Eddie!"

"Yes, he is", we all answered for Envy.

And he? I was curious as to what he would answer.

To my surprise he mock-gasped: "Aw, but you _never_ ask a lady her age!"

That was too much. I cracked up. The Virtues giggled in the background. My little sibling savoured his small victory. "Just kidding. I'm not a woman. As for my age – not telling!"

She threw him another killer glare, before telling Edward she wanted to meet his kids. Liar.

Envy reluctantly stepped to the side, revealing them to everyone, and gently encouraged them to meet their... _future stepmother_. Yikes. Poor kids. She immediately jumped them and nearly squashed them. En saved them, before she could suffocate them. Then, finally Edward returned from the dead and asked Chastity, if he could show his girly friend around her house. She reluctantly said yes.

I chose that moment to intervene and suggested that Chas take the kids along to her shopping trip in East City. To that she agreed more willingly and so did the kids.

Edward smiled. "You two have fun with Ch-Agnes then."

Idiot almost let her real name slip. Only her cold, warning glance kept that from happening.

The bitch squealed like some crazy fangirl about looking forward to seeing the place where he lived.

When I looked at Envy, he was obviously wishing he could join Chas and the kids on their trip.

I wasn't the only one who noticed though, as she offered him to come along. He looked like he could have kissed her right then and there, but instead just said yes and hurried to his room to put on some real clothes. I think it's a shame that he only wears them when he goes out, but when has that little weirdo ever cared about my opinion?

Meanwhile Ed helped his son and daughter into their raincoats and boots and his fiancée gushed over them being sooo cute and ruffled their hair like she was trying to squish them. Gross.

I got sick of it and went upstairs to get my own rain coat (okay, it's not really mine, the good Samaritan lent it to me, but who cares). I returned to the hallway just as they were about to leave, Edward and his whore had already left the room and Kindness and Temperance had gone back to playing chess (they looked relieved. Probably they were glad to be rid of her too).

It was kinda hard to swallow my pride and ask Chastity if I could come with them.

She saw no problem with it, but then asked Envy, if he was okay with it. His hesitation made me nervous. Chastity respected everyone's wishes. If Envy said no, she wouldn't take me along.

 _Come on, Envy. I know we're not best pals, but be a bro!_

To my relief, he agreed.

We couldn't leave fast enough.

…

 **Ed introduces his … fiancée? And no one is happy, least of all Envy and the kids. And Greed discovers that he does have some kind of a brotherly side after all.**


	45. A brother's comfort

**Chapter forty-three: A brother's comfort**

I and Chastity couldn't drive a car to save our lives, so Envy did. Turned out that for someone so crazy and upset as he currently was, he was a pretty careful driver. I couldn't help but ponder if he would still have driven so carefully, had the kids not been sitting next to me. He looked like he was going to cry his eyes out. And how could I blame him? The love of his life was getting married, not only to someone other than him, but also to some sorry little bitch who wasn't worthy of being _anyone's_ bride.

"What do you guys think of her?", Chas finally asked to break the uncomfortable silence looming in the car.

I sighed: "Honestly? Not even I could ever want that and I'm Greed! Seriously, is he blind? Wait no, not even a blind Person would be fooled by that! He's delusional! Or she pulled some weird kind of alchemy on him. That's the only halfway logical explanation. Sorry, kids", I apologised to them, but they shook their heads.

"It's okay", the boy said.

I turned back to Chas. "And you? What d'ya think?"

She replied grimly: "I have only known her for ten minutes, but I already despise her with every fibre of my being. Even the souls trapped in my Philosopher's Stone hate her."

"How do you know that?", the little girl asked curiously.

In the mirror I could see the Virtue smile. "Well, a long time ago, Hohenheim told us that he was talking to the souls inside himself. So we Virtues did the same and befriended them. Yeah … I can safely say that I know each of the souls inside me. Talking to them takes a while and can drive you nuts sometimes, but when you're a near-immortal homunculus, you have all time in the world."

"Why do you have so many souls inside you? Why not just one?"

Now I was agog. Would Chastity tell them the terrible truth? Those little kids?

She was silent for a while, then she said. "As humans need their heart to live, homunculi need the Philosopher's Stones they're created with. They're fuelled by them. And do you know what a Philosopher's Stone is made of?"

The kids looked sombre. So they knew.

"Human life", the girl said. "To create a stone you need to sacrifice several humans. Dad told us."

Chastity blinked: "He told you at such an early age? No wonder you weren't surprised – but why?"

The girl looked guilty: "I once read about it … and I thought it was awesome what it can do. But then dad said they're terrible things and I wanted to know why. He told us. And earlier..."

"How 'bout we don't talk about that?", I interrupted. "You're too little for that anyway."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT NO ONE WILL TELL ME IMPORTANT STUFF, BECAUSE THEY THINK I CAN'T HANDLE IT?!", the girl yelled.

 _Wow. Like father, like daughter, huh?_

Suddenly we were thrown around in our seats (luckily we had buckled our seat belts), because Envy got off the road to pull over and stop.

I groaned: "Envy, what the hell..."

But then I heard faint sobbing coming from the driver's seat. Holy shit, was he...?

Both kids blinked and looked to him with wide eyes.

Chas noticed it too. "Envy?", she asked gently.

He cleared his throat and breathed deeply. "I'm fine", he said hoarsely, "I just needed a moment." Then he vehemently dried his face with the sleeve of his jacket. Chastity handed him a tissue box to blow his nose, which he did, then he started the car again and returned to the road.

I shook my head. Who would have thought that I'd ever actually care about this little freak.

The rest of the ride was silent, mainly because no one could think of how to lighten the mood up.

Envy was too depressed to try at all.

Chastity obviously thought hard, but she sucks at tension relief and was too worried about Envy.

The kids were mainly confused and traumatised by their encounter with the big-tittied bimbo witch.

The atmosphere was so depressing, it rubbed off on me.

I think everyone was glad when we arrived in East City and Chastity asked Envy to stop in front of a clothes' shop. We all went inside and I looked around. Working clothes. Huh. Yeah, that's something Chastity and Diligence would buy … oh hey, that was a nice raincoat!

"Hey, Chastity...", I started, but she interrupted me, like the ice queen she is.

"If you want that raincoat, buy it yourself. I know you have your money with you. And don't give me that look, I'm Chastity, not Charity. I'm letting you guys live in my house, that's _my_ display of generosity."

I sulked. Geez, she can be so mean! For a second I battled with myself, if the coat was worth its money or not. After making up my mind, I went to pay and watched sourly as my purse lightened considerably. Well, at least I don't have to borrow the Good Samaritan's coat anymore.

Behind me appeared Chastity with an academic gown in her arms. "My old one is worn out", she explained, "I needed to buy a new one and some other stuff."

"So, you're a professor huh. What do you teach?"

"Law."

Oh. Okay. Why am I surprised...

"Hey", Envy's voice startled us from behind, "Hurry up. I'm still here too, y'know."

Chastity muttered an apology, paid her gown and we stepped to the side, so Envy could...

I snickered: "For Truth's sake, Envy, what is _that_?"

"Shut up", he snarled, "The girl here asked for it."

It was a red coat that looked suspiciously like the one her father had always worn back as a teen.

The kid grinned: "I saw pictures where daddy wears a coat like that. It looks so cool and I want it."

"It's too big for you, Nina", Chastity objected.

"That's okay, I'll just grow into it!", the girl beamed at her.

I grinned at Envy. "Why, whatever compelled _you_ to do such a nice thing for a _little girl_?"

Before he could answer (probably with a nasty remark), the kid got pissed.

"DON'T CALL ME LITTLEEEEEE!", she yelled and wanted to kick me, but Envy grabbed her coat from behind and lifted her up, so that she kicked and punched the air.

"STOP ACTING LIKE YOUR FATHER, GODDAMMIT!", he barked at her.

She immediately went limb. "Sorry", she mumbled sheepishly.

Chastity and I sweatdropped.

 _Children – he sucks with them..._

*Envy's POV*

I hadn't meant to shout at her, but this six-year-old girl acted so much like her father that it hurt. Hell, even her reaction to being called small was the same. Normally I would have laughed and teased her, just like I always teased her father.

But I didn't want to be reminded of him, not now, not after what had happened back there.

After being shouted at, the girl went still immediately, I must have scared her.

Her big brother looked a bit startled at my outburst.

After looking at my WTF-faced siblings, I sighed frustratedly, put the girl down and bought the red coat for her. It was just as shrill as the coat Edward had worn back then. Geez, if it wasn't for that teary pout face she made at me, I wouldn't have bought it in the first place. Her face cheered up at once, when I gave her that thing.

"We should leave", I said coldly and went outside, the group of four following me.

The weather had grown worse, it was a full-fledged thunderstorm now. My state of mind in a nutshell. I was just so done with everything right now.

Chastity wanted to go home, but the kids refused. It was obvious that they were trying to drag this trip out, because they were scared that the bitch would still be there, when we came home.

Chastity, Greed and I looked at each other with mutual understanding and decided to humour the kids, because, honestly, we were all worried about that.

And so here we were, walking around in a too big park, the rain torrents pouring onto our hats, while the kids jumped in the puddles. Bluh. They looked so cheery while doing it and I had no fucking clue why. What the fuck was so fun about jumping in puddles in the rain and getting yourself all wet, messy and dirty?

I scowled and looked up to the sky. The rain fell onto my face and ran down my neck, crawling into my coat and shirt. I shuddered from the sudden cold, but there was something else running down my face, that I didn't want anyone to notice. I wasn't definitely not crying in a public place. And if I was, then totally not because my Philosopher's Stone was shattering into a million pieces.

That little worm … stealing Edward away, just like that.

 _She … she is his fiancée._

 _Fiancée…_

 _Marriage…_

 _He wants to marry her._

 _Why? Oh god, why? Why she?! Why that worthless piece of trash? Has he ever even really seen her? How did she bewitch him? Some weird form of alchemy? Flattery and taking advantage of his depressed state? How? How, goddammit?! She's not beautiful at all! Not even cute! Not even decent looking at all! She has no grace, no charm, not a single redeeming feature that could make her a good wife for him. I bet she's not even good in bed. If they have even done it yet._

I wanted to destroy her so bad. What was she _doing_ for him? _I_ made him feel emotions when he was dead inside, _I_ broke him out of his funks and knocked sense into him, _I_ took care of his kids when he and Alphonse weren't there, hell, I fucking played _Winry_ for him, I _had sex_ with him, goddammit! I would do _anything_ for him!

So why, why the fuck, did he choose this cheap slut over me?! What did she have that I didn't?! It was not fair! It just wasn't fucking fair!

 _I_ was the one who always cares for and about him, I had thought that one day, I could lie beside him being myself and not Winry, that I could … win him over. That we could actually have a relationship worthy of being called such. That I could finally have something I really want.

And now came this ugly hag and he...

Fuck it all.

Fuck Edward for being so fucking blind.

Fuck this ugly bitch for taking him away.

Fuck god or whatever higher force, for letting this happen.

Fuck myself for never telling him...

Suddenly something black obscured my view up. I blinked and looked around to see Greed sit next to me, holding his umbrella above my head.

"Hey now", he said, "What good is your rain coat if you let water run into it?"

"Don't care." I just didn't care.

Suddenly I tensed up, as Greed got out a handkerchief and dried up my face.

"Greed, what the hell-?"

"As absurd as it seems, I _do_ care", he said calmly.

What.

The.

Fuck.

I shied away, when he tried to dry my wet neck. "Stop it! I'm 176 years old, don't treat me like a child!", I spat.

He seemed to be completely unimpressed. "Then don't act like one", he retorted sharply.

"Hmph. Whatever", I huffed and turned away.

Greed sighed: "Look, stewing in your jealousy won't do you any good."

"Shut the fuck up!", I hissed angrily, "You can talk! You're not the fucking personification of envy and jealousy! _You_ get everything you want! I never do!"

Greed chuckled: "You have no idea, little one. If I always got everything I want, I wouldn't have died on Promised Day." He stopped laughing. "I'm not sure, actually. Perhaps I would have succeeded in taking over the world, or I could have been content with being stuck with that Xingese brat and ruling Xing. Honestly, I only realised in my last minutes, what I really wanted. And you know what? When I was in Limbo … I had a lot of time on my hand to think."

"Same here", I admitted quietly. I jumped a little, when he put an arm around me.

"I kinda missed you guys."

 _Huh?_

He laughed: "Don't give me that look! Just because I hated that piece of shit that was our creator, doesn't mean I hated my siblings too! Listen, Envy..."

I looked at him curiously.

"I'm sorry for all the times I called you ugly."

"...Alright, you imposter. Who the hell are you and what the fuck have you done to Greed the Avaricious?!"

He laughed: "It's me, I promise. Here, let me prove it! Remember your birth? The first thing you saw and heard was our reaction to your appearance and you freaked out like hell. It was the first time you shapeshifted, but you didn't quite manage to make yourself look prettier and ran away in shame. Then you locked yourself away for years and our arsehole father visited you from time to time and when you came back out, I didn't even recognise you."

I punched him playfully. "Okay, okay, I believe you now. You actually hit on me and made the most priceless face when I told you who I was."

He grinned. "Haha, I can imagine. But seriously. I'm sorry. I should have been more of a big brother to you. Perhaps you would have been just a little less fucked up then."

"Yeah", I chuckled bitterly. "I _am_ pretty fucked up, aren't I? In every sense. Everything about me is fucked up as hell."

He laughed, equally bitter: "Isn't that the case with all of us? Everyone in Chastity's little castle is fucked up, humans, Sins and Virtues alike. But you know what? Nothing is remotely as fucked up as that ugly slut Edward wants to marry."

I snorted: "So that's where this is going, huh? You're apologising for calling me ugly, because I look like a beauty next to _her_?"

Sarcastically he retorted: "Of course! How else would such a thing ever come to my mind?"

The playful hint in his voice implied that he wasn't serious, which made me feel somewhat better.

But what he said next: "You really have fallen hard for him, haven't ya?"

I feared that question. So Chastity had been right. Everyone had noticed.

"What do you mean 'fallen for him'?", I muttered, "It's just a stupid infatuation. It'll pass."

"Is that so?" His voice sounded doubtful. "I don't think so. Tell you what, I'll ask you a few questions and you have to answer them truthfully."

I agreed, because I couldn't think of a good excuse.

"You care about him, don't you?"

It wasn't a question.

"...Yes", I mumbled quietly. It's hard to admit, even though I knew it was the truth.

"Seeing his miserable state makes you feel miserable too, doesn't it?"

"...Yeah."

"Do you think about him all the time? Do you see him, when you close your eyes?"

Suddenly I felt a lump in my throat. _Dammit, I'm not going to-_

"When he laughs or smiles, does that make you happy?"

I could only nod, because I had to fight back my emotions.

"Do you hate the thought of anyone else being by his side? Does the thought of him remarrying make you sick?"

Dammit, was Greed _trying_ to make me cry?! I gritted my teeth and nod.

"You handled the situation back there like a boss."

I finally managed to swallow the lump in my throat and smirked: "Damn right, I did! I totally owned the room!"

He smirked back: "I was pretty impressed. I could practically smell your murder intent and you kept it together and practically _destroyed_ her in front of everyone in the room! It was supreme! You really earned yourself that victory! But you seriously wanted to hurt her, didn't ya?"

At mention of her, my temporary good mood was gone immediately. "Yeah."

"Me too. Except for Edward, I think everyone in the room did."

"Good", I remarked bitterly, "Nice to know it's not just me and my jealousy then."

"It's not", he assured me, "She's a fucking bitch. Have you seen Kindness? Not even _she_ could stand her and she's like a friend to all living things! Heck, even Temperance looked pissed off!"

"I was more surprised that you _lied_ ", I admitted.

Greed shrugged. "Yeah, I kinda wanted to cut my tongue off, when I did it. But what else was I supposed to do? I could hardly call her a bimbo bitch in front of Edward, could I? But honestly … I could have dealt with her stupid looks (I mean, I used to hook up those five Cent whores in my time), but her attitude pisses me off. Seriously. How dare she call you a freakshow! That's _my_ job"

I facepalmed.

Yep, of course Greed would think that only he has the privilege of making fun of me.

"But jokes aside", his voice turned serious again. "That really hurt you back there, didn't it?"

I bit my lips and nodded silently. Then I wince, as I feel his hand on my shoulder.

"Y'know, if you want to get it off your chest", he told me, "I'm all ears."

"Really?", I asked doubtfully.

"Really. I don't make jokes about this. Even _I_ have my standards."

Suddenly something Winry once had told me came to my mind: " _Family members love each other unconditionally, despite all their flaws and mistakes or just because of them … respect each other … can openly show their feelings towards each other … trust each other as unconditionally as they love each other … know each other and can tell when something is wrong with the other..._ "

I realised that this was a turning point, an opportunity I had to take. And I did.

I took a deep breath, before I started to rant. "I … I just don't understand! What the hell was he thinking?! What does he see in her? What does he see in that measly slut?! I mean, has he ever taken a closer look at her face?! She has wallpapered the make-up, her lips are overblown, her nose is too flat, she has those gross pop eyes and don't even get me started on her hair! Fake blonde and pink hair extensions, what the hell! And then there is the rest of her body! She has Humility's wispy figure and Lust's bust size! What the fuck!"

"Yeh", Greed muttered, "She looks so fake. I swear, they must have used alchemy or something to make her breasts bigger."

That image made me snicker. "Does that kind of alchemy even exist?"

He grinned and shrugged. "Why not? Her boobs definitely look like it. It doesn't even look sexy. Not even _I_ would bang that. Those cheap whores I used to hook up had more style than that. And then there's that voice! Hell, if I wasn't a homunculus, I would surely be deaf now!"

"But that's not even the worst!", I cried angrily, "Her whole behaviour is bitchy, smug and obnoxious! 'It's soooo nice to meet you!' Bah! Then she had the nerve to call me a freak show! And did you see how she treated Edward's kids?!"

Greed frowned and nodded. "If I didn't have a hunch why, I would wonder why an obvious child-hater would hook up with a widower with two kids."

"So?", I asked.

He scoffed: "I'm _Greed_ , I know a gold-digger, when I see one. The Elrics are famous and wealthy. Of course that little bitch would jump at that."

 _Of course. A celebrity whore. Why am I not surprised._

I buried my face in my hands. "I … I just don't understand", I repeated sniffing, "Why … why, goddammit! He was married to a woman of enough calibre for me not to be jealous of her! And now _this_?! How long have they been _seeing_ each other?! What has she done to him to make him want to _marry_ her! He … he wants to _marry_ that ugly bitch! Why! Why does he like her! Why does he smile at her like that! What has _she_ done to deserve his attention! _I'm_ the one who always does shit for him! Babysit his kids because he's too depressed and Alphonse isn't there? I'll do it. Tell him to at least try and take care of the brats? I'll do it. Watch over him and them, because his wife asked me too? I'll do it! Turn into her because he asks me to? I'll do it! Let him touch me, kiss me and do more things than that, while I look like _her_! Yes, I'll do that too! Tell him to break out of his catatonic state and finally start mourning his dead wife properly, even though I know that he won't listen to me? Fucking yes! I do all of this shit, goddammit! When does he ever give me credit for it? Does he even _realise_ what I do for him?"

I started to cry. And that in front of Greed. Embarrassing. But now I couldn't stop it, the tears just kept coming, so I covered my face in my hands. I felt him embrace me and didn't push him away. I needed this.

"It's not fair!", I sobbed, "It's just not fucking fair! She doesn't even give a single shit about him! She's so fucking shallow and stupid! There is nothing about her! How did she worm herself into his favour!"

Now I was blubbering, but I didn't even care any more. I already had lost my last bit of pride, so why bother.

"He … _he_ made me like this! He did this to me! And then he goes and chooses a worthless worm like _her_ to be his fiancée! She's his fucking _fiancée_! Why … why, goddammit? I can't bear it! Can she make him feel something like I do? Can she please him like I can? What does she … what does she..."

"Have that you don't?", Greed supplied. I nodded and sobbed louder. He tightened his grip on me and patted my back to calm me down, while I bawled into his chest.

It felt good to let it all out. Even if the person who witnessed it was Greed of all people.

After a while I had no more tears to cry and breathed deeply to calm myself down.

Then I felt a tiny hand on my knee. Looking down, I saw Nina and Van looking up to me worriedly.

"Did Mister Envy get hurt?", the boy asked.

"Don't call me Mister", I muttered and hastily dried my face.

Greed sighed: "You could say that, kids. Go back and play with Chastity."

"But she's still in the shop", the girl informed us.

I blinked. Chastity hadn't followed us?

Right in this moment Miss Oh-So-Pure decided to show up. "There you are", she said, "I had to go back inside, because the owner of the shop questioned me about your appearance and your poor manner towards two little kids, Envy."

"Aha", I muttered. Probably that human had been jumping to conclusions and been all angsty and intrusive. Stupid humans and their disgusting misplaced concern.

"What did you say?", Greed asked curiously.

She sighed: "I told him that Envy's having a rough time, that he didn't mean it, that he normally isn't like that and that he wouldn't yell at little kids under normal circumstances and blablabla. You know, the usual garbage you say to defend your younger siblings' actions with."

I looked away, when her eyes fixed on me.

"Envy, are you okay? Your eyes are red and puffy-"

"Don't fucking say it!", I snarled and she frowned.

"Whoa. Okay, okay. Geez, calm down. Greed, what happened here?", she asked, raising her hands.

He shrugged: "We bonded over what a bitch Edward's new girl is."

"And Envy cried, because he's jealous?", the Virtue supplied.

I threw her the evillest death glare I could manage. Curse that virgin Virtue with her perceptiveness! Why does she have to be so fucking smart?!

"Yup", Greed confirmed.

She sat down on my other side and patted my shoulder. I was tempted to slap her hand away, but didn't.

"Look, Envy, I know you're heartbroken", she said calmly, "but you need to calm down. We need to think of s-"

"Shut the fuck up", I cried in outrage, "I'm not heartbroken and I'm not fucking calming down! How do you expect me to be calm in a situation like this? You have no fucking clue what I'm feeling right now! You don't understand!"

For a second, her calm, unemotional mask slipped and she looked deeply hurt.

"That may be true", she admitted. "I've never been in love. But if you think that I can't relate to what you're feeling, just because I'm Chastity, you know less about me and the virtue I embody than I thought. I do know what heartbreak feels like, even though it was because of different reasons. You guys may call me an ice queen, but I'm _not_ made of ice! I hate to see you hurt like this because of that bitch and Edward being such an idiot and I would give everything to know how I can cheer you up, but I can't, because I'm not Charity and I suck at this."

Wow. I hadn't thought I'd ever hear something so emotional come out of her mouth.

I groaned and buried my face in my hands again. "I'm sorry", I sighed unhappily, "It's just …"

Chastity's fingers kneaded my shoulder and I could feel a little child hand pat my knee.

"Do you want to play with us?", the girl asked, "That'll cheer you up for sure!"

I looked at her incredulously: "You mean you want me to join you in jumping through puddles full of mud in the pouring rain? How's that supposed to cheer me up?!"

"It's fun!", her brother grinned.

I raised an eyebrow. "I don't see what's so fun in getting my clothes and myself all dirty."

"But that's the point!", the girl cheered, "To get all muddy and dirty and laugh about it and when you get home take a nice hot bubble bath!"

I swear, human kids and their idea of fun and games are so weird.

"No way", I muttered, "Clowning around and getting my good clothes dirty, I'm too old for that stuff!"

"One is never too old", the boy contradicted and tugged at my sleeve. Oh fuck, they were actually being serious about it?!

Chastity chuckled: "Have to agree with Van, it really is fun. Up you go, Envy, distract yourself a little. Or, at least try it, that won't hurt."

Greed grinned: "Come on! Loosen up, little sibling."

I glared at them. Those backstabbing weasels! However, my glare didn't faze them one bit, they just kept grinning like two smug bastards.

Looking down, the kids were still staring up at me hopefully. Fuck their puppy eyes.

"…Ugh, fine."

*Chastity's POV*

It wasn't long until Envy was running after the children laughing and obviously not caring any more that mud was all over his coat.

Greed grinned: "Damn, I'd sell my soul (if I had one of my own) for a camera right now."

I grinned too. "Ditto. I mean, look how cute they are! Could you possibly believe that this is Envy the Jealous playing with two little kids?"

"I wouldn't believe it, if I wasn't seeing it."

Before we could go on further about how surreal this picture was, we heard the screeching of wheels, causing us to look left to the street nearby. I blinked, when I recognised Humility's car with Charity at the driving wheel, Alphonse Elric on the passenger's seat and in the back Mei Chang, Pride and Lust.

What were they doing here?

Charity jumped out of the car, followed by the rest of the group and five people with black umbrellas approached us quickly.

"There you are!", Charity called, "We've been looking for you guys."

"What happened?", I asked, concerned.

Alphonse was the one to answer: "We met …" he shuddered, "… my future sister-in-law. And we had to get away from her as quickly as possible, before Pride or Lust could give into the temptation of killing her and before I could get mad at brother for making such a poor choice."

"We couldn't stand being around her, that's why we're here", Lust explained.

Silently, I pitied the remaining Virtues and Sins who were still back home and had to deal with that woman being in my house. I was so angry, because there was so little I could do about it. I could give that wench a house ban, but that was about it.

I groaned – suddenly I had a severe migraine.

Luckily Charity sensed it immediately. "Here are your headache pills", she said and held the poultice out to me. I nodded gratefully and downed two of the pills. I felt better within two minutes.

"Where is Envy?", Pride asked, "Kindness said he is with you."

"And were are my nephew and niece?", Alphonse asked.

I looked over to Greed and we exchanged another smirk. Then I pointed to the scene that was going on a few metres away from us. "Feast your eyes on this, guys."

I laughed at the hilarity of them (yes, even Pride!) gawking at the absurd scene in front of them.

Charity rubbed her eyes: "Is this for real? Or did I accidentally take Kindness's antidepressants instead of my iron pills?"

Lust shook her head. "What is this, I don't even …"

Pride lifted an eyebrow, then said: "Am I dreaming? Because this is too preposterous to be real."

Greed and I shook our heads and I laughed: "Nope. Trust me guys, this is real. Because if it wasn't, it would mean that we're having the same weird hallucination here and that is even more preposterous."

Pride looked at me incredulously. "So you're trying to tell me that Envy blow-a-girl's-face-off-to-start-a-war the Jealous is playing with the children of Edward Elric? And jumping into puddles with them, no less. No. This is ridiculous. Explain this, _now_."

I explained: "What happened earlier at my house got to him and we couldn't cheer him up, so the children offered him to play with them. First he refused, but they convinced him and as you can see, their cheer is contagious."

The others proceeded gawking.

Then, suddenly, a broad predatory grin appeared on Pride's face.

Oh snap.

He was up to no good, that was for sure.

The others seemed to sense it too, as they immediately backed away from him.

"Well, if this moment is real", the eldest of the sins said and suddenly got out a camera, "I would be a fool, if I didn't record it."

And with a gleeful snicker, he began shooting pictures. That was evil, especially since Envy and the children still hadn't noticed the arrival of Pride and the others.

We all sweatdropped.

"Paparazzo", Charity muttered.

"Blackmailing material …", Lust commented quietly.

Greed groaned quietly: "I don't even wanna know what pictures he's shot of _us._ " His face made it obvious that he was thinking of all the embarrassing moments they'd gotten into since they had moved into my home with the other Virtues and the Elric family.

I scratched my head. Humility had told me that Pride (and Selim) had adopted the habit of photographing his siblings at every opportunity, especially when they were doing something out of the ordinary. She also had told me that he kept a big photo album under his bed in his room in my home. I didn't ask him why. The little brat probably wouldn't tell me anyway.

So we stood there in the rain, watching Envy of all homunculi jump through the puddles playing tag with two little kids, while Pride zealously kept snapping pictures on his (or Selim's) camera. Looking to the others, I noticed that Alphonse had a nostalgic, wistful smile on his face. Maybe he was reliving a memory similar to this moment in the present.

We all jumped, when a loud splash was heard. We looked to see what the matter was and the sight made us laugh.

*Envy's POV*

Those two little brats had leapt at me without noticing the pond behind me. Their attack was so sudden that I couldn't keep my balance, making me tumble and all three of us fell into the water.

Great.

As if I couldn't get any wetter.

I surfaced and sourly glared at the filthy water that went up to my chest and at my ruined hair. Then I remembered the runts and lifted them up, before they drowned. They spat and coughed and looked just as pissed as I was. Looked like even they hadn't intended getting _that_ wet.

They looked so silly with their hair full of leaves and their wet jackets full of mud. And when the girl spat out a fish and the boy picked a frog out of his coat, I couldn't help but burst into laughter.

They stared at me and then laughed along. After a while I remembered, that we were still in the water, placed the kids on the ground and climbed out of the pool.

It wasn't until now that I heard the other voices laughing.

When I looked up, I saw not only Greed and Chastity, but also Alphonse, Mei Chang, Charity, Lust and Pride (fucking Pride!), who were standing there and laughing their asses off.

How long had they been standing there?!

Shit.

*Al's POV*

Poor Envy flushed bright scarlet when he noticed us and began stuttering excuses, denials and stuff like that, which made the women and children only laugh harder.

Chastity just grinned smugly: "You can't deny that you were having fun there, we've all seen you!"

Envy kept protesting.

Now Pride smirked: "Denial is futile, Envy. I took pictures!" And he held up the camera.

Envy's face grew – if possible – even redder and he started chasing Pride frantically, in order to get his hands on the camera and destroy the pictures. But Pride just used his shadows to hold the camera out of Envy's reach. I finally decided to step in.

"Uhm … you two? Maybe you shouldn't use your powers so openly in a public place?"

That brought them back to Earth and Pride hurriedly put his camera into his bag, where Envy couldn't get it. I saw the latter shiver lightly, then sparks danced around him and he was dry. Chastity handed him his abandoned umbrella.

Meanwhile, my nephew and niece were running up to me and jumped right into mine and Mei's arms. None of us really minded that they were soaked and getting us wet, it was pouring anyway.

But then Nina and Van both sneezed.

That attracted Charity's attention. "Don't worry", she cried, opening her back pack, "I gotcha covered, kids!" Then she got out a bunch of towels.

Chastity chuckled: "Always prepared, huh, _Caritas_?"

Charity laughed: "You never know what might happen! And in this weather…"

"We should go home, Van and Nina will catch a cold", I said, while trying to dry Van off with one hand (my other was holding the umbrella).

But Nina and Van violently shook their heads.

"No! What if the witch is still there?", Nina protested.

Pride endorsed: "I have to agree – as long as that … _woman_ is still there, I refuse to return to Chastity's manor."

"Don't we all?", Envy groaned, "Why do you think _we_ ran off? We didn't join Chastity on her shopping trip out of boredom!"

"Don't worry", Charity said, "I got this!" Then she closed her eyes and seemed to concentrate hard on something. After about thirty seconds she opened them again and said: "We can go home. She's gone. Humility says that Edward called her a taxi that arrived just five minutes ago."

Everyone exhaled in relief.

"How did you do that?", I asked Charity. She shrugged and told me she was psychic. That was a little scary, considering the things she could do with that ability.

After these news, we went back to the cars – that is, us humans did. The six homunculi stayed behind and talked with hushed voices, I couldn't hear much. But I caught bits like 'insulting', 'bad guest etiquette', 'poor kids' and 'doesn't deserve him'. They were probably talking about _her_. And most likely had nothing good to tell. No wonder, I don't think she left a good impression on anyone. I just hope that it was just the first impression and that she's not as bad as she seems right now – oh, who am I kidding, she's obviously a gold-digger and I hope that brother will reconsider and ditch her _before_ he makes the unspeakable mistake of marrying her!

Arriving at our cars, we gathered together. "Who'll drive this time?", Chastity asked.

Envy sighed: "I'll pass. I'm cold and tired. Ask Charity."

"But then-" The homunculi looked at each other perplexedly.

"I'd love to", Pride said, "But I'm physically thirteen, so technically, I'm still underage." Then he muttered something to himself that sounded like: "Only five more years to go…"

Lust and Greed shook their heads, obviously they had no license.

Chastity shrugged helplessly. Wait … she had a car but no license?!

I gaped at them. Were Charity and Envy the only homunculi present who could drive a car?!

Okay, this was getting really awkward.

"How about you four", I spoke up, pointing at the Lust, Greed, Pride and Chastity, "Use Chastity's car and Charity drives for you? I'll drive the other one and Envy and the kids can come with Mei and me."

There was some mumbling, then everyone conceded and we got in the cars, driving home as quickly as the weather allowed.

However, when I had driven for half an hour, Mei poked my arm.

"Look at these three in the back."

I did and couldn't help but smile: Envy, who was sitting at the left window, had fallen asleep and the kids, wrapped in his raincoat (he had lend it to them, because they were still soaked), were huddling up to him, sleeping as well.

That was so cute that I couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the ride.

When we arrived home and the other homunculi saw this, they they aww'ed and nothing could stop Selim – who in the meantime had taken over – from taking pictures, before running into the house and Mei and I could finally wake Envy and the kids up.

…

 **Envy is super depressed and Greed, Chastity and the Elric kids take it upon themselves to cheer him up a little. Angst, cuteness and funny stuff ensue. And then the others show up. XD**

 **Envy: Sh-shut up! /**


	46. Fights and Tears

**Chapter forty-four: Fights and Tears**

*Selim's POV*

Dinner was awkward. After the debacle earlier, only Lust, Temperance and Chastity managed to have some smalltalk during dinner (and Gluttony was the only one who actually had some proper appetite). Honestly, after being introduced to Mr. Elric's … uhm, fiancée, I was in an odd state between shock, depression and disappointment. I wasn't even sure, if these emotions were just mine or Pride's as well. Perhaps he was disappointed with Mr. Elric's poor choice in finding another wife.

 _What is he thinking?!_

 _Honestly_ , Pride answered my thought (without being asked), _I don't think that he genuinely loves her. Either he's trying to coax some kind of information out of her, or she took advantage of his broken state and twisted his head in the sickest fashion, like Greed said. That's the only logical explanation. There is no way that after being married to someone like Winry Rockbell, he would fall for …_ – he was looking for words – _a lesser being even by human standards. But if you excuse me, I have other worries right now._

 _Your brother Envy?_

 _Envy isn't my brother_ , Pride corrected me no-nonsensically, _they're not a male. Envy doesn't have a gender. The term 'sibling' is the only appropriate one. But yes, it's them I'm worried about. I've never seen them like this, they're completely out of themselves._ – His voice became slightly angry – _It's all_ her _fault. That lesser being better not get into my sight ever again._

I couldn't help but smile. Deep down Pride _does_ care for his siblings, even though he would rather die a thousand deaths than admitting to that.

"Sooo", I tried to start a conversation, "Where is Patience? Why is he not having dinner with us?"

 _Really, Selim? Really?_

 _Shut up, not everyone's as suave as you!_

Humility answered: "Oh, he's upstairs. He's trying to wake up Sloth, after I gave up."

 _Yeah, best of luck with that,_ Pride remarked drily _, the only one who can wake him up is me._

I sighed. It's so hard to ignore the nagging voice in my head!

Then Diligence spoke up, turning to Edward: "So, how was your day with your new wh-fiancée?"

That made both Pride and me groan internally. Especially when Mr. Elric started rambling on about how much fun it was to hang out with her, blablabla. I think most of us zoned out after a while. Suddenly a loud slam startled us all.

When I looked over I saw that Envy had stood up, probably he- _they_ had slammed their hands onto the table. They inhaled slowly, before turning to Mr. Elric. "We need to talk", he- _they_ (goddammit!) said slowly and deceptively calm, "Now."

First Mr. Elric looked confused, then a little suspicious, but he stood up and followed Envy out of the room.

Oh dear. I sensed trouble coming up…

 _Let me take over, Selim_ , Pride spoke up again, _let me handle this._

 _No. Whatever you're planning, it will ruin everything._

Pride didn't answer. Probably he was miffed, because he didn't get his will. Hopefully he would stay there and sulk for a while, before he came out and ruined everything.

"I'm not going to let these two be alone with each other", Alphonse Elric said and stood up.

But then Charity put a hand on his shoulder. "Wait", she said calmly, "We won't need to interfere."

"How do you know?", Mei said warily, "That's Envy we're talking about!"

"She has a point there", Kindness said, "Even though he has mellowed down a bit since he was resurrected, he is a bit … _unstable_ right now."

I flinched a little, when Greed snorted loudly: "You mean 'totally out of it'. I agree with these three, we should at least keep an eye on them. Just to make sure it doesn't get out of hand."

Charity relented. "Fine. But not all of us at once. I think Greed and Temperance should go with Al. They're most level-headed." (I noticed Chastity lifting an eyebrow at that sentence)

"Can I come?", I asked, "Pride is a little anxious in here."

 _Who are you calling anxious, you sorry little brat?! I will show you anxious!_

"In that case I will come too", Humility said, "Just in case."

And so it came that Alphonse, Greed, the two Virtues and I (and Pride) snuck after Mr. Elric and Envy, so we could interfere, should things get too much out of hand.

When we heard their voices coming from the parlour, we crept up and eavesdropped on their conversation through the locked door (yes, I could tell it was locked, no thanks to Pride here). For a brief moment I looked down, just in time to see Humility's shadows sneak beneath the door and into the other room.

*Envy's POV*

"So", I said as soon after I had closed and locked the door after him, "I forgot to tell you earlier – congratulations to your … engagement." I turned around and smiled broadly.

For a second he looked surprised, than he said thank you (carefully). Which made me even angrier. Was he really that oblivious?!

"Do tell me, because I'm a curious individual", I continued genially, strolling up to him cattily. "How is she?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

*Edward's POV*

"What do you mean?", I asked tensely. I had to be careful, that pleasant smile was obviously fake. I had noticed it earlier too, but had not brought it up, just in case-

"You know exactly what I mean", Envy snarled, dropping the friendly mask of politeness, "Don't give me that bullshit. I'm sick of all these lies."

"Envy, I seriously don't know what you want from me right now."

Oops. Wrong thing to say.

He tensed up, one of his eyes twitched and he took a deep breath.

"Watch out, Elric…"

I always did that around these guys, but seriously, why did Envy-

Suddenly he chuckled mirthlessly. "Oh really?", he asked tauntingly, "Then why do you let me get so close to you?"

Fuck, had I just said that out loud?

"What do you want?", I growled, starting to get agitated.

"Y'know, ex-pipsqueak", he replied venomously, "She did not leave a good impression on me. On no one actually. Not even your goody-two-shoes brother likes her, hell, not even Kindness could stand being around her!" He took me by surprise, when he grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me down to his eye-level. "What do you see in her? What has that _skank_ done for you to want to _marry_ her? Tell me, Edward – how able is she, compared to me?"

Oh. Oh crap.

He continued: "Does she make you feel the way I do? Can she please you like I can?"

"Uhhh…" There was no way I would stroke or bruise his ego right now.

"Does she fill the emptiness inside you better than I do?"

Was it just me or was there a trace of anguish, of desperation in his voice?

For a few second we stared at each other in icy silence.

He let go of my shirt, bit his lip and crossed his arms. "I see. Good for you. So … now I don't have to turn into Winry for you anymore, do I? We can finally quit that fucked up game? Good, because I'm sick of it. Well, it was fun", he admitted with the most fake smile I had ever seen. "Doing you, that is. But having to look like _her_ every time we fucked, that was _not_ fun. So yeah, I'm glad it's over."

*Selim's POV*

I listened to their conversation in shock.

They had done _what_?

Even Pride seemed to be shocked. But only for a moment. Then I felt a wave of anger wash over me that most certainly wasn't mine. Before I could do something, he took over and I was pushed back into my own head again.

 _Pride_ , I pleaded, _please don't so anything stup-_

 _I_ never _do anything stupid! But_ my _sibling lying with a human – letting themselves get used like that – by Father's former sacrifice no less – it makes me sick!_

Oh my god, he was about to do something rash, of that I was sure.

Luckily Humility seemed to sense the upcoming trouble and put a hand on my – on Pride's – shoulder. "Calm down please, little brother", she said gently, "We need yet to hear more."

"…Fine", Pride gave up. Wow. He must really respect his oldest sister if she can sway him so easily.

Through his eyes I observed the reaction of the others. Humility seemed to be sad. Temperance looked somewhat disappointed. Greed's face was completely emotionless, but his hands were clenched to fists at his sides. But Alphonse's reaction was the worst: He looked so shocked, horrified, angry and deeply disappointed that I felt the urge (and this time it was definitely me) to go in there and give these two a piece of my mind.

 _Didn't you tell me to calm down?_ , Pride teased me amusedly, _You're so hypocritical._

 _Sure, whatever you say_ , I replied. Arguing with this narcissistic homunculus was pointless, so I just humoured him. Discretion is the better part of valour after all.

The voices from inside the parlour brought our attention back to the situation at hand.

" … Three nights ago will have been the last time I ever turned into her for you. I will never do it again, ex-pipsqueak. You need to get a grip on yourself. Asking me to shift into your dead wife because you can't get over her death is just insane. And means something coming from _me_!"

"Truer words have never been said", Greed muttered ironically. Temperance hushed him quietly and continued to listen intently.

Mr. Elric's voice answered: "I know. And I'm sorry-"

"No you're not", Envy answered stridently. "You're not fucking sorry. I know what you're thinking right now, your eyes give it all away – and I just told you: _I'm not doing it_. Enough. You're going to get married, why would you need me to play Winry for you? I didn't know her as well as you did, but I'm still pretty sure she wouldn't have wanted that!"

"You bet she wouldn't have", Alphonse growled quietly, "Goddammit, Ed…"

"Shhh", I heard Pride mutter quietly and he pressed our (his and my) right ear against the door. But we stepped back, when we sensed Envy approaching the door.

"Somehow I will convince the Virtues to lift my damn house arrest. Then I will move somewhere else and you and your _soon-to-be-wife …_ ", they spat that word out "… will never have to see me again. Unless I come to check on the children, I'm their guardian after all. And I don't want to be in the way. I hate to be your dirty little secret, Edward. That's what I am, isn't it? Or does she know that you sleep with me behind her back?"

There was a moment of silence.

Then Envy again: "That's what I thought. Well I'm tired of it. I'd rather never see you again than being your whore or whatever this is!"

"For Truth's sake", Alphonse muttered, "I had no idea it was this messed up!"

"It's even more fucked up when you think about it more", Greed muttered sombrely.

"What do you mean?"

"Tell ya later."

Then we all winced, as Envy suddenly barked: "What do you want now?!"

Mr. Elric responded so quietly that even with Pride's superhuman hearing, I couldn't make out anything. But maybe Humility, who had her shadows in the room, heard it, as she gritted her teeth.

"What did he say?", Pride asked curiously.

However that question wouldn't have been necessary. Humility tensed up, as if readying for a fight and from the other side of the door Envy's voice yelled.

"WHAT? EDWARD, ARE YOU DEAF-"

"DO IT!", Mr. Elric hollered. "IT'S THE LAST TIME, I PROMISE!"

"THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID THE LAST 37 TIMES!", Envy shrieked.

Now Humility was angry as hell. "He just doesn't get it!", she hissed, "Okay, that tears it. Stand back. I'm going to force that door open-"

"Wait, big sister", Temperance hushed her quietly, "Just a moment more."

Humility inhaled deeply and calmed herself down.

 _I've never seen my oldest sister so angry in my entire life – and that means something coming from someone over 400 years old,_ Pride commented worriedly, _what the hell are they doing in there?!_

 _I don't know_ , I replied, _but_ -

"There", a familiar female voice came from inside, making Alphonse's face turn ashen. "Are you happy now, ex-pipsqueak?"

There was a loud thud and then the same voice, a little confused: "Edward, what the-"

Suddenly a quiet whimper came from the other side of the door, taking us all by surprise.

Alphonse tensed up. "What's going on in there? We need to get in-"

"Stand back", Humility said, "I'll open the door and then we need to sneak in quietly."

She did something with her shadows, the lock clicked quietly and we walked in.

The sight was disturbing. So disturbing that even Pride was bewildered, which gave me the needed opportunity to take my body back.

I turned around to look at the others. Everyone had paled at this unsettling scene.

*Envy's POV*

This time it was different. There was something raw in his voice when he asked me to do it yet again. And I couldn't refuse him. Again. Damn those disgusting feelings!

So I did it again, scowling, as my hair changed colour and structure, as I became a bit shorter and female. Truth, how much I had grown to despise this shape!

Finishing my transformation, I glared at him. "There", I said with _her_ voice, "Are you happy now, ex-pipsqueak?"

But what happened next took me by surprise. Without a warning, he tackled me and pinned me to the ground. I groaned, when I hit my head. "Edward, what the h-"

I broke off, when something wet landed on my skin. He had buried his face in the crook of my neck and was shaking like a leaf. When more drops fell onto my skin and a loud whimper escaped him, I realised that he was crying.

It was so strange. I had never seen the ex-pipsqueak cry before and especially after all these month of inner death this seemed so foreign, so alien, that I was helpless for a moment.

Then his sobs snapped me out of my trance.

"Winryyyy", he whimpered, "I'm s-sorry … so s-sorry … sorry … "

"Edward", I said gently, "You have to stop, I'm not Winry, please-"

But he wasn't listening. Perhaps he wasn't even hearing me. He just continued wailing and soaking my shirt. From the edge of my senses, I heard the lock click and glimpsed Alphonse, Humility, Temperance, Greed and … Pride(?!) come into the room, all of them turning ghostly pale, when they beheld the state we were in. I would've scolded them for eavesdropping, but I was too preoccupied with the ex-pipsqueak bawling into my chest.

He blubbered out so many words. Some I could understand and make sense of, some where incoherent. "Why did you have to go … why did you not accept that fucking stone … why did you die … you … you could still be here … why, why, WHY? How could you leave me like this … I can't do this alone … it's not the same without you … why did you have to get sick, why did you not want to get well, why did you leave me and the kids alone …"

"Shhh", I muttered and stroked his hair. That was nice … I could get used to this. But I had to calm him down quickly or get our fucking spectators to get the hell out of the room.

Glaring at them I formed the words: "Get out!"

Only a few of them complied, namely Humility, Temperance and Pride (although Humility had to usher him away). Alphonse and Greed stayed here for some reason. I glared some more, but Alphonse just glared back. Greed looked like he'd run out of fucks to give, which he probably had.

Meanwhile the ex-pipsqueak just continued blubbering and soaking my shirt and I still didn't know what to do except for holding him and telling him words that I knew _she_ would have said in a situation like this.

*Al's POV*

I wasn't sure what unsettled me more – that Envy looked like Winry, that brother was crying and screaming into his shoulder, that Envy was actually trying to comfort him or that Ed finally grieved Winry properly.

It hurt to see that. Seeing my brother cry his heart out. Have a Winry in front of me, that wasn't the real one but a shapeshifting homunculus who had once been our enemy. But what hurt most was that Envy was acting just like her … how did he do that? He was not one bit like Winry, except for the hot temper. Did he do that unknowingly? If so, then how? And if not, then why?

"It's not fair … it's not fair, dammit! You could have accepted … you could still be here … you could still be alive … we would be happy … and I wouldn't be so fucked up … but nooo, you had to be stupid!"

I was getting pissed. _Oh no, you're_ so _not wallowing in self-pity! And_ she _was being stupid?!_ You're _sleeping with Envy while being engaged to a tramp instead of mourning her properly, brother!_

"You're stupid too", Envy retorted irritatedly, a little of his voice leaking through. But then he switched back to Winry's voice, "You never asked me, why I wanted to die."

"Yes, I did!", Ed screamed angrily.

"No, you didn't", Envy contradicted, "You asked me why I didn't want the stone. That's a difference."

"Where is a difference there?!"

"Winry" grabbed Ed's head, forcing him to look "her" in the eye and explained: "You didn't acknowledge my decision. You didn't want to accept my wish. You've just clung to desperate hopes you would never even have considered otherwise. You didn't try to understand me. Even though you knew … that refusing the stone would seal my fate. All it took for me to answer was for you to ask that one question! For you to say that sentence. To finally admit to yourself that I wanted to die! If you had accepted that, I would have told you why! But you never did, like the dummy you are! And so I never told you! Because I was so frustrated and disappointed that you didn't understand me! And I won't tell you now either, because right now, you're being a complete and utter douchebag!"

"Truer words have never been said", I muttered and Greed nodded.

Brother didn't take it too well – oh, who am I kidding, he sunk back onto Envy's shoulder and bawled even harder. This was beginning to weird me out. Who was this guy and what had he done to my brother? Even Envy seemed to be weirded out, as he seemed to be considering what to do now – wait, _Envy_ was considering something?! He, who hardly ever really thought before he spoke or acted? He really must have changed in the thirteen years he'd been in limbo.

Back to the situation, I couldn't even make out anything as Ed was still gibbering into the homunculus' shoulder, clutching the sides of his-no, Winry's shirt.

It was surreal.

My big brother was crying into the shoulder of a psychotic shapeshifting homunculus looking like his wife, while said homunculus stroked his hair, rubbed circles on his back and murmured things into his ear.

And all the while Greed and I were standing there like two idiots.

After about two minutes, Ed finally uttered some words I could understand.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Again, again and again.

I'm pretty sure he was apologising to both Winry and Envy.

And Envy just sighed: "I know you are. "

Was he still speaking on Winry's behalf or on his own?

"It isn't fair", Ed wailed.

"Life isn't fair", Envy responded sadly. "Shhhh … it's okay. Just let it out. Let it all out."

Which my brother did.

Greed chose to leave us alone after a while. For some reason he was grinning when he left. That confused me. What was there to smile about?

After a few minutes it finally dawned on me – I'm such an idiot! Greed had smiled, because he was relieved that it was finally over. Ed was finally mourning Winry for real, finally coming to terms with the fact that she was gone. The grief was finally reaching through to him and in this case, it was a good thing. After all these months of being in a state of inner emptiness, he was finally sad. The tears he was now shedding were long overdue.

That realisation made me smile as well.

Envy raised an eyebrow questioningly. I mouthed some words art him and he nodded and went back to comforting my big brother.

It's nice to know that Envy cares about him. After what seemed hours, Ed's sobs finally subsided, turning into hiccups, turning into ragged breathing.

"It's okay now", he finally said hoarsely, "I'm okay now. You can turn back."

The homunculus sighed in relief and turned back into himself.

"About fucking time you finally shed some tears, ex-pipsqueak. Now get off me, you're heavy."

"That's coming from you", Ed muttered, but stood and helped the other up.

Envy's eye twitched. "ARE YOU CALLING ME AN UGLY FATASS, PIPSQUEAK?!"

"ARE YOU CALLING ME SO SMALL THAT I COULD FIT IN KINDNESS'S MEDICINE CABINET?!"

I struggled to keep in my laughter. This situation had gone from emotional and tragic to comical in a minute. Now that was something only my idiot brother and Envy could accomplish!

Envy blinked. "Kindness's medicine cabinet?", he repeated.

Ed sighed: "Never mind. I'm just glad no one saw what just happened – what's so funny?!"

Envy was smirking from ear to ear. "Don't think so, ex-pipsqueak. Turn around."

I couldn't hold my laughter anymore, when my brother turned around and his eyes almost fell out.

When my laughter, Envy's amusement and Ed's stuttering settled down, I cleared my throat and threw him a half-hearted glare.

"Yeah … I kinda saw and heard everything – and I'm not the only one. Humility, Temperance, Pride and Greed did too."

He blanched. "Oh shit …"

I nodded sternly: "Yeah, I'm pretty disappointed and angry at you. But for today it's enough. It's late, we're all tired and you've just worn yourself out. But tomorrow morning, I'll punch you in the face really hard, because you really deserve that."

" …Okay."

"Hey", the homunculus piped up, "When you have punched him, can I beat him up? You gotta admit that I have every right to after all that shit!"

"HEY!", Ed cried in outrage.

I decided not to point out that Envy wouldn't have had to play along with that twisted game my brother was playing. Instead I just said: "Sorry, I can't allow anyone to beat up my brother."

Edward sighed in relief.

I grinned at Envy. "You can kick him in the balls though."

"OH COME ON!", my brother shouted, while Envy snickered with glee.

*Envy's POV*

The ex-pipsqueak rushed off to check on his children, leaving me and his brother to stand in awkward silence for a while. Suddenly it dawned on me that, since he had heard everything, he might think that …

Then I cleared my throat and mumbled: "So yeah, sorry for my … uh, _affair_ with your brother … I wasn't taking advantage of him, if that's what you-"

All of the sudden he hugged me.

I tensed up, lost as hell. " …What's _that_ for?", I asked confusedly.

"It's okay", he assured me, "I know you haven't done it for your own gain. And Envy?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you. You're doing so much. Truth knows where Ed would be now, if you weren't there. It was high time he finally felt something and we owe that to you."

Okay, what the fuck! Gross!

I groaned: "Oh my god, just shut up! This is way too much sap for one day!"

I heard him chuckle, then he let go of me. "Just wanted you to know that I appreciate what you do for him."

For a moment I was awestruck. Had he just …? I couldn't stop the smile from stretching my face, but went to pretending that I wasn't happy about these words.

"Hmph. Whatever. Still kicking your brother's ass tomorrow."

"Only the balls", he reminded me.

Aw crap. He was still such an overprotective little brother.

"Fine with me", I muttered.

"And why you went along with all of this – I will question you someday, but not now."

" …Okay." I was kinda grateful for his respect towards my privacy.

He wished me a good night and left. _That goody-two-shoes. But somehow all the goody-two-shoes in this house are beginning to grow on m– AHHH, I DID TOTALLY NOT JUST THINK THAT!_

"UWAH!" I yelped in shock, when a hand placed itself on my shoulder.

Whirling around I recognised Edward. How had he managed to sneak up on me like that?!

"Hey", he said softly.

"What?", I snarled, irritated about being surprised like that.

"Just wanted to tell you something before going to bed."

I sighed. This better be good. "Well? I'm all ears!"

He hugged me.

A small chuckle escaped me: "How come you hug me every time I get pissed at you?"

"Shut up. Just listen", he muttered.

Why though? It was pretty obvious what he was going to say.

"What I said earlier … that I'm sorry … I really meant that. Both to you and Winry."

"I know." _You better be sorry._

"And …"

 _I really appreciate that you did all this for me._

"I really appreciate that you did all this for me."

 _I knew it. Now I bet you will say something like: Even though I don't know why._

"Even though I don't know why. You never told me why you played along."

 _Called it. And no, I won't tell you._

"But you did it … even though it caused you pain – and it actually did me a lot of good – even though it was fucked up as hell."

 _Damn right it was. But good to know that it helped you, ex-pipsqueak …_

He chuckled: "Never would have thought that _you'd_ be the one to help me get my shit together."

 _Me neither, ex-pipsqueak. I always thought it'd be the other way around …_

"But you did. I don't know how, but you always knew what to do."

 _That I did, but only thanks to her – to Winry. She was an amazing wife to you. Which makes it just the more confounding that the woman you want to marry now is such a –_

His hug around me tightened. My arms were going to sleep, but this felt so nice – this genuine embrace was so much better than all the fake sex in the past. And I couldn't help but lean into him and return his hug.

"Words can't say how grateful I am to you."

I laughed quietly: "Don't wreck your tongue, Elric."

 _You have such a way with words, but you just have to get sappy here – why do I love this?_

"I'm serious, Envy. I might not be okay, but I can get better now – thanks to you. It's because of you that I can finally feel again."

I couldn't help but smile again. It was me. Not that bitch of a fiancée, not the Virtues, not even his children or his brother. Me.

 _And now comes the moment where you whisper into my ear and say-_

"Thank you. For everything."

 _I knew it._

"You're welcome. And Edward?"

"Hm?"

I let go and smirked at him. "Still kicking you in the balls tomorrow."

He blinked in confusion, then sighed in resignation. "Whelp. Could have worked."

Later, when I went to bed, I remembered something Winry once had told me. When she had explained love.

" _Sometimes, love means to smack talk your loved one to break them out of a funk – or just smack them out of it, I think you get my drift. Then, it also means to pick up the pieces and put your loved one back together, even if you yourself are broken. And you will find that putting them back together will make you better as well."_

With that quote in my head, I lay down smiling.

She had been right. Knowing that I was helping him really did make me feel better.

A part of my hell was finally over and I felt happier and lighter than I had in forever. Soon I drifted away into unusually pleasant dreams.

…

But I'll still kick his balls tomorrow.

And he didn't even tell me why he wants to marry that bitch.

Stupid ex-pipsqueak …

…

 **Envy smack-talks Ed, Ed finally snaps out of his inner paralysis (kinda), the others find out about their tryst (those who didn't already know, I mean) and Pride is more caring than he wants to acknowledge. And some fluff at the end, again.**


	47. Coming to terms

**Chapter forty-five: Coming to terms**

*Edward's POV*

I hadn't felt so refreshed since Winry had died. Finally being able to feel, finally being able to let it all out, had done me such a world of good.

This will have been the last time that I asked Envy to turn into Winry for me. This time it's not a lie. Before yesterday, when he had turned into her, I always only had felt this vague longing, the desire to be with her, to have my wife again.

But this time, when he had turned into her, something had broken inside me. It had felt like a bucket of ice cold water was being emptied over me. It was that moment when I finally realised that Envy, even though he could make himself look like her, he never could be her, never would be her, never would want to be her. Winry was gone and there was no way to ever bring her back. I should have known this better than anyone, but after almost a year being in a daze, it was like a revelation.

And finally, _finally_ , I could get closure and move on with my life.

Words can not describe how grateful I am to Envy and Al right now.

Even though this morning, Al punched me in the face and nearly broke my jaw and Envy kicked me in the nut for the second time this week, which hurt like a bitch.

But they were there for me when I needed it and did what had to be done.

I think I'm out of that funk now. I hope I am. Partly because I don't want Envy to smack me with Winry's wrench again, but mainly because I have neglected my children for far too long now.

This morning after I was on the receiving end of Al's and Envy's righteous anger, I got a phone call from Laura asking me if I wanted to go on a date. I said no and told her that I wanted to spend the day with my children. Her answer sounded a bit grumpy, when she said it was fine and that she understood. The lie was pretty obvious, but I decided to ignore it. If she had a problem with me spending time with my kids, she never should have agreed to hooking up and getting engaged with me to begin with.

Just like the day before it was raining hard, but that didn't stop me and the kids from running around in the rain and playing. It felt so good to be able to laugh again.

After all these months of being dead inside, I finally felt alive again, I could smile, laugh, cry, feel happy, sad, angry and all these other things I hadn't been able to really feel until now.

When we came inside, Chastity scolded us for getting her floor all dirty, but she didn't seem to mind as much as she pretended to, as she clapped me on the shoulder and remarked with a smile that I seemed to be a lot better already.

*Chastity's POV*

It was good to see Edward return from the land of the dead. Seriously, he's had this dead inside look ever since Winry had died and now there was finally a spark of life again, even though it was clouded by sadness. But that was okay, that was healthy. And it was plain that he was just as glad to finally register and be sad that she had died.

When he went off with his children to take a hot bath and get cleaned up, I was about to go up to the my room to bring my laundry downstairs, but when I arrived there and passed by the music room, I found Envy sitting by the window and watching the rain. I decided that the laundry could wait a bit and knocked onto the open door quietly.

"Knock, knock", I announced myself softly and he turned his head around.

"Oh, hi."

I was a bit surprised to see that he was smiling and not being in the angsty/emo state he always was in when it rained.

"You seem to be in a good mood today", I observed.

He nodded: "Yeah, I feel a lot better now that all the shit is over."

I came in and sat on the piano stool a few metres away. "I can imagine", I noted then, "Alphonse told me about the verbal smack down you delivered to Edward and what happened after."

"Has he now?", the Sin muttered absent-mindedly, his smile vanishing.

I nodded. "Yeah. And I have to say, well done, Envy! Ending that farce between you and Edward was the right thing. Doesn't it feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders?"

The smile returned: "Yeah. Kinda does. And it's good to see some of that old fire in his eyes again." He turned his gaze back to the window to watch the rain. "I have missed it."

"Yeah, the former Fullmetal Alchemist has finally returned from the dead. And who knows, perhaps he will now realise what a hussy his fiancée is." I was only half joking.

"That would be too good to be true. As if I ever could be that lucky", he commented bitterly.

And there he was going into angst mode again. Darn, me and my big mouth. I sighed, stood up and sat beside him on the window sill.

"Well, look at the bright side", I tried to cheer him up, "You're the one who helped him over his catatonic mental state. You're the one who did (and still does) everything for him, even if it totally goes against you. Smack talk him out of his funks? Take care of his children, despite not liking kids at all? Keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't do anything too self-destructive? Give into his demands without getting something in return? It's you who does all of this. Not that tramp. You. And that's something no one can take away, not even she."

To my surprise he nodded and said: "Yeah. I guess you're right." Even though it was obviously just a small comfort.

Pep talks had never been my strong feat, but at least I had tried.

The atmosphere was getting a bit uncomfortable, so I changed the subject: "So, any reason you're sitting on the window sill in the music room of all places?"

He shrugged: "Dunno."

The window he was sitting behind had a perfect view on the field where Edward and his son and daughter had been playing earlier, so I could imagine why he had chosen to sit there, but I knew better than pointing that out.

…

 **Ed is relieved that he finally feels something again. Envy has bittersweet feelings and Chastity tries and fails to be comic relief. Since, you know, that's Charity's and Diligence's job.**

 **Chastity: Come on! I can be funny too! Kicking Edward in the balls the first time was** ** _my_** **idea!**


	48. Exploring

**Chapter forty-six: Exploring**

*Envy's POV*

The ex-pipsqueak didn't go out with the bitch for a couple days and I enjoyed it while I still could. What a dreadful thought that I would have to face her again sooner or later.

Of course that day couldn't be postponed forever. Luckily, today he didn't bring her here but went to a date with her somewhere.

Today a lot of people seemed to be out, no wonder, it was a sunny day. It was noon, so the kids were in school and Alphonse and Mei Chang had just gone to pick them up, Lust was out with Gluttony and Temperance, Humility, Chastity, Kindness and Charity were at work, Diligence had gone to the next village to do groceries and Pride and Patience had gone for a walk. Wrath would come to pick Pride up tomorrow. Greed was out too, probably to visit the next casino and empty the pockets of everyone who was stupid enough to gamble with him.

So right now it was only me and Sloth in the entirety of Chastity's huge mansion. Needless to say, I was bored as hell. There was nothing outside but fields, small woods and lakes.

Thinking about Chastity's immense wealth (how did she even afford all of this? Professors didn't get paid _that_ well!) pissed me off, so I tried to cool myself off by exploring her house. Okay, I had lived here for an entire year, so I should have known this house, but like I already said earlier, it was huge and I hadn't seen all of it yet.

So I started in the attic, above the second floor. Surprisingly, the door was open.

The attic had an abundance of dormers and closed shutters, so it was very dark. I opened them to let the daylight in. Now I could see that it was a long, wide room full of cardboard boxes, wooden chests and antique furniture. To my surprise it wasn't dusty like attics usually were, probably Miss Oh-So-Pure dusted through regularly, being the neat freak she was (or Diligence did it, she was a neat freak too [and a workaholic]). Not that I minded. It meant no sneezing.

All the cardboard boxes captivated my curiosity and I decided to take a peep (Chastity would be pissed, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her, besides, she wasn't heeeeere!).

The first ones seemed to belong to Humility. They were full of outdated books about psychology, psychiatry and shit like that. Huh. Hadn't expected the ghost girl to be into that kind of stuff. To my surprise the box had her human name written on it:

 _Prof. Dr. Dr. Raffaela Angel._

Oh right. She was a professor, just like Chastity. How could someone so humble have so many titles? Probably she did it for fun. Humility was so much smarter than she let on, but knowledge was nothing but a toy to her. She loved gaining knowledge in the way that the brats loved playing tag or jumping through the puddles. Weirdo.

Since her boxes contained all the same, I moved on. Chastity's boxes contained outdated law books, which was even more boring, so I continued with Charity's boxes. They contained old items that she probably had sorted out and intended to give away. Some of them were actually pretty. Gold and silver bracelets that she probably never had worn, she wasn't the kind of woman to wear precious jewellery. I would have to ask her, if I could have some of them. Oh screw it, just take them! Surely, she wouldn't miss them! And there was a black hoodie that immediately caught my eye. It had a phrase printed on it:

 _I'm displeased with the overall situation._

I blinked. Did that one really belong to Charity? That happy-go-lucky Good Samaritan? It seemed more fit for me. I decided to take that one too. It was perfect for me, surely she wouldn't mind.

When I tried it on, it fit me like a glove. I twirled around. Yep. Perfect for me.

Kindness's chests were full of old surgical instruments and outdated medicine books.

Diligence's chests contained tools that she probably never needed or had sorted out in favour for newer stuff.

Temperance and Patience had nothing up here, except for an old cupboard and an old wooden chest full of old fancy dresses that Temperance had sorted out. I couldn't help but wonder how these beautiful dresses would look on Lust. Even though they probably wouldn't fit – Lust has a bigger chest than Temperance.

I took some time to skim over the beautiful antique furniture and again envied Miss Oh-So-Pure for being rich enough to not only afford stuff like that, but also being able to just store it on the attic when she grew tired of them. Why, just _why_ was she so filthy rich?! And why couldn't _I_ have some of that?! That wasn't fucking fair! I wanted the beautiful things that Chastity had, or at least some of them, I wasn't that demanding anymore.

With one last hateful glance through the room, I left the attic and moved on to the second floor, where I had lived with the other Sins in the beginning. I stored my new possessions in my old room (luckily Chastity had allowed me to keep it even after moving to the ground floor). Looking around, I noticed that I needed to dust through, as I hadn't been in here in a while. Quietly I put the precious items in a small chest I was hiding under my old bed. Except for the hoodie, I kept that one on.

Then I dared to sneak into the other's rooms. I had never looked into them before, so I was curious.

I started from the back of the hallway, in Sloth's room. Since he was the only one who was currently here in the house with me, I had to be quiet. Or not. He was sleeping on a mountain of pillows and covers and when Sloth was sleeping, only Pride and Diligence could wake him up. Looking around, there wasn't much, only a table that he probably never used, a chair, an empty cupboard – oh wait, there was a small chest. When I looked into it, it was his pocket money. Of course he had most, even though he got the same allowance as the rest of us, he was too lazy to spend it.

The next room was Gluttony's. It was completely empty.

I sweatdropped.

Whelp, that explained why Lust, Chastity and Temperance had scolded him for hours on end that one time a few months ago. He'd eaten all the furniture …

Greed's room was a mess and full of antique wines – waaaiiiitaminute, was that the stash Winry had left to him and Diligence?! Did Freckles know that he was hoarding all of it? I'd definitely mention it to her later. Hehehe. Couldn't wait to see her reaction!

The next room was Lust's. The curtains were closed, leaving the room in a dim red light. I chuckled. Yeah, that was the kind of atmosphere Lust would feel comfortable in. But the light was enough for me to see that the room was tidy and looked very cosy. She had hung up a lot of pictures, surprisingly none of them was erotic. To my surprise one of them showed a person I recognised as Jean Havoc, the guy she had dated before she died. Hmmm … now that I thought about it, she had asked Temperance to paint something for her the other day … so she was still thinking about that guy? But she had only dated him for information!

 _I'll have to ask her about it_ , I resolved.

My room was the next, so I passed by it and on to Wrath's old room. As he had moved away, the room was empty. The air was a bit stale, so I opened the window. Surely the others would be grateful. Then I left and stepped to the last room, which from the view of the stairs was first.

Pride had hung up a lot of pictures, just like Lust, but with different motives. Obviously he had brought some of the pictures from the Bradley residence, how else could you explain the fact that he was having expensive art in his room? The whole room was even neater and cleaner than Lust's, because Pride was a perfectionist, just like Chastity. The furniture was noble, expensive and definitely his own too. Ugh, leave it to Pride to only settle for the best and nothing less. Well, he was Pride. However, I could see some of Selim's influence there as well. Self-drawn pictures of him, Mrs. Bradley and Wrath together, studies of plants and a lot of real plants. And a lot of books.

Suddenly something caught my eye. Something purple was hidden under the bed. Curiosity got the better of me, I went up to the bed and fished the item out. A huge purple photo album, belonging specifically to Pride, not Selim (there was another one that belonged to him, a grey one). Suddenly I remembered the embarrassing pictures he had taken of me a week earlier and decided that I just had to look through the album to see if the pictures were there and if so, dispose of them.

But the first pictures were pretty harmless. They were neatly sorted by who was the subject of it.

First were group pictures, some with all of us sins, some with the Virtues, some with the fourteen of us together, with Pride, Wrath and Mrs. Bradley and even some of the Elrics plus Mei Chang (one a few of them, Winry was smiling into the camera, which made my heart clench). Then some pictures of Chastity's mansion from the out- and inside, the landscape, the garden.

But then came more private pictures.

All of us queuing up for the bathroom. Gardening or doing household chores (it was just like Pride to photograph that!), the Virtues making music.

Of course Pride had put his own pictures first.

Selfies of him or Selim with the others being up to shenanigans in the background. Most of the others had been taken by others, usually either Mrs. Bradley or Humility. Some showed him learning together with Patience (oh right, I had forgotten that he was tutored by the Virtues and the Elric brothers, now that he didn't have a private teacher anymore) and some with Lust or Mrs. Bradley helping him to dress, some of him having tea with the others. There were also some were he was reading or playing the violin (yes, he played the violin). One showed him sitting on Wrath's lap or in his arms, one was of him napping on a couch with a book (he was drooling!). Then there was a selfie of him standing in front of the Bradleys' door with an evil smirk on his face, probably with the devious intention of cockblocking. Him playing chess with Humility or Chastity.

Then came the pictures of Lust.

She with her bedhead, debating with Chastity or manicuring her finger nails, some of her posing in her new dresses or sitting in front of the mirror. Then more embarrassing pictures, Lust panicking over a burning frying pan, while she was trying to cook. Her being soaked and dripping from the rain, from that one time she got into a shower and had forgotten her umbrella.

Then Greed's pictures.

Greed and Diligence suffering from immense hangovers. Greed throwing a tantrum over that one time Diligence had "borrowed" some of his savings, or him fighting with me. One with one of Pride's shadow arms lifting him up, some of him in his little spats with Charity. One with him in one of Diligence's booby traps. Another one where he was freaking out over a ruined west (oh yeah, remembered that one – I had cut off the fur, hehe!)

Wrath.

Him duking it out with Chastity or dancing with Mrs. Bradley, one with Patience helping him up after that one time he had defeated him. Some had been taken by Mrs. Bradley and contained embarrassing pictures of Pride – I wondered why he was keeping them, but probably Selim was behind this. One made me snort – Wrath was holding Pride upside down on his ankle, while Pride was trying to kick and hit him. The other one was showing Mrs. Bradley in the act of throwing a water bomb at Wrath – geez, the stuff she got away with! In the next one, a pissed off Wrath was chasing after a confused and (for once) innocent Pride with a bamboo stick.

There weren't a lot of pictures of Gluttony.

Him stuffing himself with food. Her petting his sleepy head that was lying on her lap. Him playing outside, either with Patience, Lust or Temperance. A lot of cutesy pictures.

Sloth had gotten even less photographs.

Almost all of them showed him sleeping (one had me doodling on his face).

Then pictures of me. Why was I last?

I swallowed and braced myself for humiliation.

But the first ones were harmless. Some showed me talking to Kindness, some in my gymnastic lessons. In one photo Lust was pecking me on the cheek, in another Greed was holding me in a headlock. A few of me and Winry. Some pictures of me playing the piano (when had he found out, I had never told anyone that I was playing an instrument!), while the Virtues were listening or accompanying me. Me reading or arguing with Edward.

The next one made me freeze – it showed me sleeping. I knew when this one had been taken, it was from the morning after the night I had first talked to Winry. I had stayed with her and fallen asleep on her bedside and Pride had photographed it! The comment below stated:

 _First time I have seen Envy peaceful. Had to capture this moment._

Okay, maybe that wasn't so bad. But the next ones were! Me only in a towel, without my headband, and my hair being all frizzly from bed, then Edward's brats tackling me from behind, me sitting in front of them talking about something, one of me throwing a tantrum after losing a game of chess to Patience, me and Edward fighting. Then the absolute horror: the pictures he had taken a week ago! I had been jumping through the puddles with the children, laughing and smiling (I still couldn't believe I had done that!) and Pride had taken a _lot_ of pictures of that. Even more photos of when the kids and I had fallen into the pond. The first one showed us right in the moment of falling, in the next one I was just surfacing, my face hardly visible through my black hair. Then me holding up the kids who were coughing and spitting, then some pictures with the three of us laughing at each other about how stupid we were looking. Me helping the kids out of the pool, before climbing out. The entire group running towards the cars. And finally, last but not least: me, sleeping in the car and the brats wrapped in my coat and huddling up to me, sleeping as well.

I felt myself go pale with anger. _Pride, you creep!_ I felt the urge to destroy them, but he would notice and immediately know that I had looked into his photo album, so I didn't.

The next ones were about the Virtues.

Humility sticking her tongue at Pride (one of the few pictures were the subject was aware of being photographed) or resting on the stairs or couch tiredly, some of her doing teacher stuff.

Chastity before her morning coffee or trying to dance and sucking at it. There was one with her furiously shooting ice arrows after a cackling Greed. Her flipping her shit because of a spider.

Patience trying (and failing) to reach books on the top shelves or doing homework (he was going to school like a normal kid), sometimes together with Selim.

Temperance throwing up (why the hell had he photographed that?), learning for school (she was studying literature, chemistry, physics and fine arts) or applying make-up (she wore make-up? I'd never noticed!).

Kindness trying to untangle Nina and Van from her long pony tail, doing medical inspections on the others or nursing them together with Charity.

Charity cooking or baking, covered in dough, flour, etc. or laying the table. Her arguing with Greed or with Chastity, playing with the children, her photobombing a kiss between Alphonse and Mei.

Diligence covered in dirt or dust from work, with her red hair completely messy (some showed her smiling or grinning for the camera while she was working on something). Or her in the process of doing something (a lot of the pictures showed her doing shitty tasks, like cleaning the bathrooms, doing laundry or fixing the pipes).

There weren't so many embarrassing photos of them, which was probably because they were either very aware of being stalked by Pride or because they just were good at avoiding bullshit. Probably both. Anyway, I envied them for getting into tight situations so rarely.

Having seen enough, I left Pride's room and moved on from the second to the first floor, where the Virtues live.

The hallway of the Virtues was brighter than hours, the curtains were colourful, opposed to the dark ones on our floor, and the doors were painted in their favourite colours. I couldn't help but notice that their colours were always the opposite to the one that symbolised our sins.

The one at the end of the hallway belonged to Diligence, it was right below Sloth's room and had a red door (red was also Wrath's colour, but who cared). I was surprised to see that the door wasn't locked, but I didn't complain. The room was as neat and tidy as one would expect from a neatfreak like Freckles. The furniture, curtains and even the carpets were as red as the door, which admittedly looked very good in contrast to the white of the rest of the room. I went along the cupboards and bookshelves. The cupboards were stuffed with tools and gadgets she usually used, the bookshelves didn't contain books so much as a lot of files stacked with Diligence's notes. As the titles described pretty well what the files contained, I didn't need to look in it. Stuff like cooking recipes, chemical and physical formulae, instructions of all kinds, notes of all kinds, personal files (for whatever reason she was keeping those) and newspaper articles. Then there were several ladders, ropes, boards and other stuff I couldn't figure out the purpose of. There was only one middle-sized wardrobe and looking inside, all of her clothes were practical albeit feminine to a certain extent (although I knew that she only wore skirts because it was easy to hide stuff under them). Probably all self-made, as there were a sowing machine and a loom in her room. I was surprised that I found no camisole in it, considering she always wore one. It was kind of her trademark garment. Why did she own only one and why was she never without it? I would ask her when she came back. When I looked at her bed, I had to take a double take. The covers and pillows were also red and her violin case rested on the covers, but that wasn't what put me off. Comfortably placed on her pillow was a big stuffed bee. I never would have thought that someone as tough, pragmatical and busy as Freckles would own a plush toy. That made me smirk. I was so going to embarrass her over this! With my mood greatly improved, I moved on to the next room, the one that belonged to Temperance.

The door, the furniture and the bed sheets were all indigo, as opposed to Gluttony's orange door. Temperance's blue door looked funny next to Diligence's red one.

It was only now that I realised that the Virtues had placed all our rooms above our respective opposites. I'm dumb.

The curtains in her room were drawn, since Temperance didn't like sunlight all too much. Seriously, like she was allergic or something. What was her problem? I opened the curtains and let in some fresh air and now I could finally see everything better. There were some bookshelves with books about self-restraint, desks, a chaise and some bowls and buckets full of water, probably for her … uh, physical complaints, as she called it (which was actually her constant barfing). Weirdo. Then there was a secretary with books about many different topics, probably for whatever she was studying at the university. And her biggest desk was staggered with papers. Geez, she sure had a lot of stuff to do for someone who was officially sixteen. Wasn't that the age, when human girls went to stupid parties with their friends, bought even stupider clothes, ruining their parents, hooked up with random douches or bitches, only to break up after weeks – wait a second… now that I thought about it, nothing of that sounded like Temperance. I also saw a lot of flowers. First I wondered why she was keeping flowers in such a dark room, but then I remembered that some didn't need much sunlight to grow and bloom. There were a lot of pictures that she had drawn herself. Oh yeah. Art student. Even though I really didn't understand why she wanted to be a bachelor of arts. What would she gain from it? Did she do it for fun? What was fun about sticking your nose into books, having to listen to old professors running down boring topics and learning irrelevant stuff until you collapsed of exhaustion? There also were a lot of diploma she already had. Chemistry, biochemistry, hydrostatics … wow, what a nerd! Was Diligence the only Virtue who wasn't a huge nerd? I mean, Humility and Chastity were professors, with Humility having a PhD, Charity had a doctor even though she had chosen _not_ to _be_ one, Kindness _was_ one, Temperance was a prodigy student, even Patience was often seen learning or doing school-related stuff! Next to her bed there was a dress up table and her concert flute.

There was nothing more interesting to see, so I moved on.

Next was Charity's room. It was bright blue, as opposed to Greed's yellow one. The good Samaritan's room wasn't as messy as Greed's, but it wasn't as meticulously clean as Diligence's either. I was relieved to find that her bedroom wasn't stuffed with books. There was a lot of paper stuff and files though. Figures, she had her own organisation after all. Some first aid kits and her own telephone – lucky her. Looking at her bed made me full on laugh – like Diligence, she had stuffed animals. Yes, several, not just one. Probably someone else had made them for her and she hadn't found it in her heart to refuse. Which also was a common occurrence.

Moving on, I came to Chastity's room. To my surprise, her door wasn't white. It was spring green. In contrary to Lust's rose door. The room itself was all white though. Yeah, that was more like it. And again, books, books and more books. Everyone knew what a huge nerd Chastity was. One of her three tables had several pots with white lilies standing on it. Miss Oh-So-Pure loves white lilies. Then there was a tool kit for her harp. Yeah, did I mention she played the harp? All of the Virtues played an instrument.

I wondered if the other Sins, aside from me, played one as well. I knew that Pride did. But what about the others? Greed, Gluttony, Sloth and Wrath didn't and while Lust was a good singer, I had never seen her play an actual instrument.

Next one was Kindness. Her room was pink, but thankfully nothing shrill, more like lavender, which was okay. Like Temperance she had a lot of flowers in her room, but here the curtains were opened and the room was sunny and warm. I spied pots of lavender, beautiful orchids and … anatomical drawings? Okay, Kindness was a doctor, but wasn't that a bit morbid for someone like her? A cupboard that was locked peaked my interest, so I cracked it open. What I saw shocked me. It was her medicine cabinet with first aid kits, painkillers and stuff like that, but that wasn't the problem. It was the staggering amount of antidepressants she was keeping in one of the drawers. They were labelled with the names of the people they were meant for and pretty much everything was for Kindness herself. Holy shit. She was so sweet and friendly and seemed happy and carefree, so I never would have thought that she had a depression. I hadn't expected her to be as sad as I was. My dear opposite Virtue was going to get it, when she came home.

The next room belonged to Patience. It was cyan and the walls were painted with fluorescent blue flower patterns (which was visible, because the curtains were drawn and it was dark). When I opened the window and light flooded into the room, the patterns looked a pale grey. Weird. I wondered how much time Patience had spent painting his room. Well, not that it mattered to the child homunculus.

The last room belonged to Humility of course. It was right below Pride's room and the door was yellow, as opposed to his purple one. Symbolism? Totally symbolism. The room itself was, like Chastity's, completely white. Or so I thought. But something attracted my attention, so I closed the curtains. Now that it was dark, I saw that her room was glowing in all the colours of the rainbow. Wow. That was a crass contrast to Pride's room that looked colourful in the sun, but in the dark was completely bland and dark grey. Symbolism! Her desks were covered in papers from her work.

I went by the bathroom and music room and left the first floor.

There was nothing new on the ground floor for me, so I descended into the cellar.

It was very warm down there and the air was dry, which made my lips feel like sandpaper. Looking around, there were several doorways leading to different storerooms.

One of them was full of antique wines. That was probably Diligence's stash.

The other was labelled as the cold store.

The next one was the laundry room. Huh. I didn't even know Chastity had one. I had always thought that Diligence did the laundry, since she always took ours and brought it back clean. Well, the more you know.

Then there was the safe. It was probably full of money or gold, with Miss Oh-so-Pure being the rich bitch she was. Which again raised the question: How the hell had she become so rich?

Seeing that there was nothing more interesting down here, I returned upstairs to the ground floor. Just as I was about to go to … I didn't know where actually, Alphonse, Mei Chang and the kids arrived. I looked at the clock. It was two pm. Had I really explored the house for two hours?

"Hello! We're back!", Alphonse called out.

I went to greet them. "Finally!", I said, "So good to see ya!"

He and the Xingese looked pretty flabbergasted.

"Who are you", she said suspiciously, "And what have you done to Envy? He wouldn't be happy to see us!"

Wow. That stung. Here I was trying to be nice and then this!

So I glared at them – that should teach them to doubt me! "Shut up! You try being alone in this big house for hours with only Sloth for company! Do you know how quiet and boring it was? There was nothing to do and I couldn't even go outside, because I'm still fucking grounded!", I complained.

Mei Chang sighed. "Yup. It's Envy, alright", she deadpanned.

"Envy! Don't use such language in front of the children!", Alphonse protested.

"Yeah, yeah", I muttered and proceeded not to give a damn.

At least until I was tackled by the brats.

…

 **Envy is bored and decides to explore the parts of the house he doesn't know so well yet.**


	49. Visit

**Chapter forty-seven: Visit**

A few days later, Edward brought his bitch along with him again.

Right after he had visited Winry's grave, as it was her death anniversary.

For that I hated him with a burning passion. And I hated her even more now. Couldn't this one day belong to Winry? Even dead she was much better than this Laura-creature.

My chest felt constricted every time I thought about her. Sometimes I wish I had never befriended Winry Elric. It would have been so much easier to just be hateful and jealous of her, but … I didn't even remember how she had won me over.

After another spat with the bitch while the ex-pipsqueak wasn't looking, I went straight up to Humility (who was just coming home from work) and asked her for a one-to-one.

"What's the matter?", the white-head asked me once we were sitting in her room.

I looked at her earnestly. "Look, I know that I'm still grounded and shit, but-"

"But what?", she asked concerned.

The genuine worry in her voice encouraged me to go on: "Let me go out on my own. Just for a few hours. I want to be alone and far away from this shit with … with _her_."

"Oh, I see."

"I know that you don't trust me by myself just yet, but _please_ -" There was nothing more humiliating than having to beg, but whatever would work.

The hoary Virtue bend forward and took my hand. "Envy", she said gently, "I understand you, I really do. I don't like her either and that you're in love with him makes it even harder. But it wasn't just my decision to put you under house arrest, all of the Virtues decided that together."

So I would have to ask them all together if I wanted to get out. In that moment, I felt more caged than ever.

But suddenly Humility grinned, much to my confusion. "But you know what? I think the others would agree with me when I say that by now we can trust you to go out for a few hours without doing anything stupid. Do you have a certain destination in mind?"

I couldn't help but smile. "Thanks. And yeah, I do actually."

"Is it far? Do you want to borrow my car?"

I shook my head. "No, I'll be good."

With that I climbed onto her window sill. Humility laughed: "Oh, so that's the way you want to go! Well then, have fun and enjoy your alone time! Be back for dinner, okay?"

"Sure", I said, turned into a black hawk and flew away.

Lucky for me, I still remembered where I had to go, so I got to Resembool in relatively short time.

On the way, I stopped once to pick flowers, because I didn't want to buy one of these ugly bouquets.

When I arrived, I circled a few times above the graveyard, just to make sure that no one would see me. Descending and shifting back to my preferred form, I landed right in front of the grave of Winry Elric. First I placed the flowers in front of her tombstone.

"Hey. Haven't seen ya in a while. I brought you flowers. Uhm …"

I sighed; what was I doing, standing alone in a graveyard talking to a fucking stone. I really had hit rock bottom. Well, couldn't get any worse, so I went on.

"Sorry I took so long to visit. There has been so much going on. A lot of fucked up stuff." I laughed bitterly. "You're lucky you don't have to see this. But then again – if you were still here, this never would have happened in the first place. Perhaps you can't even hear me. Or can you? Can you hear me from Heaven? Are you sitting up there, watching and listening to what I'm saying? And if you do – do you already know what's going on? Because if you do – I'm sorry. I'm sorry for that fucked up game I played with your husband. Although it was his idea." I had to chuckle again: "I can already hear you say: 'You didn't have to play along, you moron!' Yeah, you're right there. I just thought – ugh, you know what, I don't even know what I thought. But for some reason I couldn't refuse. I think you can guess why, can't you? You're so smart. Unlike me. I can't believe that I'm confessing this to a fucking stone, but … Winry, I'm in love with your husband."

There. It was out. What I never had spoken out aloud before – I had finally said it. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And I was glad that I was alone in this place and the one I was telling this to was the freaking tombstone of a dead woman. No one would know.

With a sigh I continued: "Do you hate me now? That's okay. I hate me too. How the hell could this even happen. Some homunculus I am, falling in love with a human. There is not even hope for me. As if he could love someone like me. I'm a monster in every way and he knows it. Even though we're on civil terms now and even though we … goddammit, you're dead and it still is hard for me to say! You know … if you had chosen to live and would still be by Edward's side … I still would have been jealous of your happiness, but I could have dealt with that. Perhaps I could have grown not to begrudge you for it, because … I really liked you. Still do. Not like love-like, don't get me wrong. But … you understood me. You listened to me. You always had an answer to all of my questions. I …" A sniffle escaped me, before I could stop it. "… I never got to ask you how you even did that. Seeing you beside him hurt me, but at least you deserved being his wife! You were so perfect for him that even I could accept that! Well, okay … that was before I loved him, of course. I think. I don't even know when it started. Come to think of it – could it be that you knew, before I did? Is that a woman thing? Did you know I was falling for him? Was that why you made me give you that promise and constantly reminded me of it? And speaking of that promise – I don't think I can do it anymore. Don't worry, the kids are fine, but-"

I had to choke a sob. Dammit, I was not going to start blubbering in the middle of a graveyard in front of a tombstone like some overly emotional human!

After taking a few deep breaths, I continued: "You should see Edward. He's been dead inside until two weeks ago. It took almost a year and me knocking sense into him for him to finally cry for you and realise that you're gone! Can you believe this? And even today, he only visited you this morning and now he's on a date with his bitchy fiancée! He … he wants to fucking marry that _bitch_! I hate her so fucking much, everyone does! Not even Kindness likes her and she likes _everyone_! And the ex-pipsqueak still hasn't explained to me, just what the hell he sees in her!"

Again I couldn't help but chuckle bitterly. "I'm going to sound so fucking hypocritical, I mean, I'm the guy who blew a little girl's face off and liked it … but she also treats his kids like shit! And to think that she's going to be their stepmother – it makes me sick!" My laughter subsided and now I couldn't stop myself from crying anymore; it just hurt too much. "I don't know how to deal with this situation. I'm so sorry; I can't handle this. I know I promised you, but … I can't. I can't do this alone, Winry. I wish so badly that you could help me, but you can't! Because you're dead, you're gone forever and I'm talking to a fucking stone! You can't answer me like you used to! I … I miss you so much! I knew I was going to miss you when you died, but I didn't know it would hurt so much! I miss you more than I missed Lust, when she was gone, and she's my big sister! Fuck … and I was resolved not to start bawling here!"

My legs refused to support me any longer. I fell on my knees and supported myself on the grave stone, while blubbering like some heartbroken teenage girl. Humiliating.

"It's not fair! How the fuck did it even happen?! Why were you my friend? You told me why you wanted to die, I accepted and understood it. So why does it hurt so much that you're gone? I … I wish you could come back! I miss our nightly talks, how you always listened to me, how you explained all the things I wanted to know about, how you didn't judge me, even though you knew-" My voice failed me and I buried my face in my hands to muffle my sobs. The shame made me cry even harder. I was crouched down in the middle of a graveyard, sobbing over a dead woman's grave. How had I grown so weak as to mourn a simple human, wish she was still here and begging her to come back, even though I knew it was stupid, that she couldn't hear me …

I was beginning to question my feelings. Had she really been just a friend to me? Had she been more? I hadn't felt the way for her that I was feeling for Edward, that much was clear. I hadn't loved her romantically. But maybe in another way? Platonically? I'd never had a friend before, never loved anyone, before I was resurrected and had moved in with the Virtues. I had been fond of Lust and Gluttony as siblings, sure, but that hadn't been the same. How was I supposed to know what platonic love was like? Well … Winry had explained to me even that, just like she had with anything else:

"… _There is also platonic love. It's different from romantic love in so far that it doesn't have the intensity of romantic love. It's more of a slow burn, you see, like a deep body of water. Platonic love doesn't have a rush or fire, nor the boundaries that romantic love brings. Just being with the person you hold dear makes you feel at peace. Platonic love is not exclusive, it can come in many shapes. If that person is gone, you will be unhappy, but even then you will feel at peace when you think about them and all the good times you have spent together. Do you understand me, Envy?"_

" _Uhhh … actually, no, I don't."_

" _Don't worry. Someday you will."_

I couldn't help but smile through the tears. "Now I understand. I _finally_ understand, Winry."

I had loved her after all. Platonically. Realising that did something to me. I was still broken, unhappy and upset, still felt like I couldn't handle this anymore. But for a short moment, it felt like she was being next to me again, listening and telling me that everything would get better somehow. For this short moment, I felt comforted and less lonely.

An ironic chuckle escaped me as I wiped my tears away. "It's funny. Just for a moment it felt like you were here. You're a miracle worker even in death, aren't you?"

The only response was the howling of the September wind. But I had expected that.

Gently I traced the letters engraved on the stone. "You know … that kinda makes it even more painful. In the end I'm still just talking to a piece of rock and not to you. Remember when I told you how I used to cope with Lust's death? That I turned into her, just so I could see her once again? That's kinda how Edward has been coping with your death until a few weeks ago. He made me turn into you and … fuck, I feel like I betrayed you. Is this what _guilt_ feels like? Shit … Humility was right, guilt really _does_ hurt like hell. I'm …"

Oh great, I was tearing up again.

"I'm so sorry! I promised you that I would take care of him when you're gone, and all I did was indulging his misguided wants, because he couldn't handle the fact that you're dead! He doesn't even know why I did it. I've never told anyone. But you're my best friend, right? And you were his wife – wait scratch that, to me you still are. So I guess you have the right to know.

Okay … first off, I wasn't really surprised when he first asked me to turn into you. Of course I hoped it wouldn't, but maybe I deep down saw it coming somehow. But I did it anyway. Because I fucking love him and because I could understand this so well. Perhaps I also hoped that it would help him feel something. Of course it didn't, he was still dead on the inside, until I broke it off.

It hurt so much, Winry! And the affection he showered me with when I was you, hurt even more. And you know what the worst is? I wanted it! I wanted his attention, I wanted him to look at me that way he used to look at you! I wanted it and at the same time I hated it, because it wasn't for me, it never was. Well, you know what a jealous and envious piece of shit I am, so I bet you're not even surprised right now.

You know – just two weeks ago, he waltzed in with a dyed bimbo clinging to him and announced her to be his fiancée. Incredible, huh? It shouldn't have hit me as hard as it did … I mean, it's not like he was ever going to be mine to begin with. I guess that's how things always will be, I will pine for things that are hopelessly out of my reach. Makes me hate myself even more now.

Forgive me, Winry. I'm sitting here, blubbering like a little girl about loving your husband. I'll talk about something else, okay? Your kids? Yeah, that's much better. You don't need to worry about them. They're fine, considering the circumstances. They took your death much better than he did. They can laugh, cry, smile, get angry. Edward has been neglecting them a lot in his dead state, at least he's trying to make it up now. Really sucked that I always had to babysit them when Alphonse and Mei Chang couldn't for some reason. You know how that was, always having to make up excuses for his behaviour and tell them that daddy loves them?

I'm really not good with kids.

You know that. So why did you make me swear to take care of them too? And did you really _have_ to make _me_ their legal guardian? I get that you wanted to be sure that I'd keep my promise, but that was just ridiculous. You should have seen all the people's faces though."

Another teary chuckle.

"They're six and seven now. Their grades are okay, Selim and Patience are helping them with their homework. Once the principle summoned Alphonse and me, because Nina got into a brawl. Apparently someone made fun of her brother and she smacked the hell out of them.

Shit, she acts so much like her father that it hurts!

I told the principle to shut the hell up and fuck off, the girl just lost her mother and what did he want from her. I hate that fucker, he's creepy.

You know … those two little pipsqueaks are starting to grow on me. They hate the new bitch just as much as I do, and man you should see all the elaborate pranks they've played on all his previous whores.

Alphonse is okay too, at least I think so. He's still engaged to Mei. These two should get married already, I mean, he's 28 years old now and she – uh, I dunno, never asked her.

He doesn't like the new wench either. See, that's how bad she is! Not even Kindness likes her and she likes everyone! It's so hard … having to deal with this bitch who even has the nerve to call me a freak and ugly – she doesn't even know what I really look like! – then having to care for the ex-pipsqueak and your little pipsqueaks, being in unrequited love with that oblivious bastard and the only person I could ever truly confide into is dead.

It's just all too much for me.

Sure, my siblings listen to me too from time to time and the kids try to go easy on me, because they see that I'm sad, but it's just not the same as being able to talk to you and get your advice. I know, I'm repeating myself, but … I miss you, Winry. I miss you so fucking much. Is that normal? To bawl your eyes out in front of someone's grave one year after they have died, talk to their tombstone and tell them how much you miss them?"

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder, causing me to scream in terror and shock.

When I whirled around, I saw Alphonse stand behind me and Mei being a little far behind. One look into his olive eyes told me that he had heard everything. I felt myself blush with shame and wished I could die on the spot.

But he said simply: "Don't worry. It's perfectly normal."

I knew what he was really saying. And while I was pissed that he had eavesdropped, I was even more grateful that he wouldn't say anything or tell anyone about it. Looking at his Xingese fiancée, it was clear that she was thinking the same way as he was.

He helped me up and I dried my face yet again. But I couldn't stop myself from smiling a little. "Good to know."

…

He and Mei had come here borrowing Humility's car, so they took me along on the drive back home. No one said a word, but words weren't necessary anyway.

The silence wasn't awkward like I would have imagined.

More like a silent agreement, a mutual understanding.

And that felt good.

…

 **It's Winry's death anniversary, Envy visits her grave and gets more sentimental than he can handle.**


	50. More fighting

**Chapter forty-eight: More fighting**

*Edward's POV*

When I came home, Alphonse and Mei arrived with me. I was a bit surprised to see that Envy was with them. "Hi? Where are you coming from?", I asked curiously.

"From your wife's grave – where _you_ should have been, instead of going out with that wench!", Envy added cuttingly, but it didn't sound as angry as he had probably intended. It still cut though.

Before I could answer, Van and Nina came running out of the house and I was attacked by them, which gave Al, Mei and Envy the opportunity to run inside, before I could tell them what I really had been up to.

When I came inside, Humility's voice informed me that it was dinner time, so I went to the dining room, where Patience was serving curry and rice, much to Mei's joy. Oh yeah. The Virtues had been living in Xing for a long time, hadn't they? Of course they could cook Xingese cuisine.

Dinner was awkward. Van and Nina seemed sullen and Envy kept glaring at me and playing with his food.

"Are you okay, Envy? Are you sick? Don't you like the food?", Patience asked with concern.

Envy shook his head: "Nono, don't worry about it, it's delicious."

Liar. He hadn't even eaten anything.

Mei objected: "But you haven't eaten anyth-"

Before she could end her sentence, Humility, who was sitting next to her, elbowed and shushed her.

Envy just shrugged and took a bite, although he didn't seem to care about eating at all.

Chastity tried to lighten the tension by asking my children how their school day had been.

Van answered: "It was bad. The other kids made fun of us, because mum is dead and dad is always busy." He sounded sad and disappointed and that made me feel really guilty.

"He wouldn't be so busy, if he wasn't hanging out with the wicked witch of the west!", Nina scoffed.

*Kindness's POV*

Edward looked at his daughter in disbelief. "Nina, is that how you talk about your future mother?"

She jumped up and yelled at him so loudly that some of us winced – me included – and covered our ears: "THAT BITCH IS NOT OUR MOTHER, SHE IS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE! SHE'S AN EVIL AND UGLY WITCH WHO HAS BEWITCHED YOU AND IS MEAN TO US AND EVERYONE HERE! WE ALL HATE HER! SHE SAYS A LOT OF TERRIBLE STUFF WHEN YOU'RE NOT LOOKING OR LISTENING! SHE SAYS THAT MISS CHASTITY IS AN ICE BLOCK, THAT AUNTIE MEI AND MISS DILIGENCE ARE UGLY-"

I saw poor Mei Chang's eyes fill with tears, Alphonse went pale with anger and Diligence muttered: "Harsh!" At least I think she did, it was impossible to hear her over Nina's screaming.

"-AND SHE SAYS THAT MISS CHARITY AND MISS LUST ARE WHORES-"

"What?!", Charity exclaimed bewilderedly and Lust accidentally dropped her tea cup. I was more disturbed that Nina Elric, a six-year-old human girl, knew what a whore was.

"-AND SHE ALSO SAID THAT SELIM, PATIENCE AND THE TWO OF US ARE STUPID BRATS-"

Patience shrugged it off as always, but I could tell that he was hurt. Good that Pride wasn't here.

"AND SHE CALLED ENVY A HIDEOUS FREAKSHOW!"

"It's all true!", Van confirmed vehemently.

Now Nina finally stopped yelling and icy silence took over the room.

That is, until Envy dropped his fork. "That … you heard that, Nina?", he asked taken aback.

The other Sins and my fellow Virtues looked equally perplexed.

Edward just gaped as his daughter for a while, before he caught himself and took a deep breath. In that moment, I couldn't tell if he was going to keep his cool or throw a fit.

Finally he said slowly and flatly: "Nina. Go to your room. You too, Van."

They gave him a look of betrayal, before Nina ran off crying and Van threw a glare at his father before following her.

Now it was my turn to drop my fork: was Edward seriously sending them to their respective rooms for telling him the truth?

Alphonse and Mei seemed to think the same way.

"Brother, what the hell?!"

"Yes, what did you do that for?!"

"SHUT UP!", Edward yelled and the three engaged in a yelling contest, until something else startled us.

Envy was sitting there, his face buried in his hands. For a second I thought that he was crying, then I realised that he was _laughing_! Soon he wasn't holding back anymore and was fully laughing like in his old days. Greed quickly moved his chair away from him and Gluttony hid behind Lust. I felt my Philosopher's Stone twist painfully. Was Envy going back to his old cruelty and joy in the suffering of others? How else could he laugh in such a situation?

"What's so funny?", Edward finally snapped at my cackling opposite Sin.

Envy recovered from his fit with a sigh and snickered: "I just think it's very funny, how you never wanted to be like your father – or mine, for that matter – and always called him a bastard and a jerk and here you are, prioritising a shallow bitch over your kids! That's fucking hilarious! Nice going, hero!" Now he stopped laughing. "Seriously, way to go, Edward. Today is Winry's death anniversary, that you didn't devote this entire day to her is already bad enough. But this takes the cake!" Now he stood up and started yelling, making us all wince. "I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD OF YOURSELF! WONDER WHAT WINRY WOULD DO IF SHE SAW THIS! I BET SHE WOULD SMACK THE HELL OUT OF YOU WITH HER WRENCH – SPEAKING OF WHICH, I STILL HAVE IT! SHE LEFT IT TO ME, REMEMBER? I SHOULD FETCH IT AND BEAT THE EVER LIVING CRAP OUT OF YOU, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT! NOW YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS OFF AND APOLOGISE TO THEM, OR I _WILL_ GET THAT WRENCH OUT! YOU'RE THEIR FATHER, EX-PIPSQUEAK, THEY NEED _YOU_ THE MOST! NOT ALPHONSE OR MEI CHANG, NOT ONE OF THE VIRTUES AND CERTAINLY NOT _ME_! SO GO AND FIX YOUR GODDAMN JUNK, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"

"FUCK YOU, ENVY!", Edward yelled back and rushed out of the room.

 _He better apologise to them_ , I thought irritatedly.

Now silence filled the room for the second time, which I was grateful for, because my ears were ringing and most of the others looked like they were having the same problem.

Until Greed and Alphonse started applauding.

"Wow, En … just wow", Greed said.

"Couldn't have said it any better", Alphonse agreed, "That was quite impressive!"

Mei Chang stood up. "I'll go and make sure he isn't just sulking somewhere."

"Me too", Alphonse said and they left the room, leaving us all silent yet again.

Finally, Envy pinched his nose and sighed: "I'm retiring early today. I'm tired and my head hurts like hell."

"Go to the sickroom, there should be headache pills", I supplied.

Envy nodded gratefully and left as well.

Chastity sighed: "Whelp, that was a horrible dinner. You guys help me with the dishes?"

After that we all emptied the table, cleaned up and went to our rooms, because honestly, this had been one unnerving evening.

*Envy's POV*

After that ordeal, I was just fucking drained. My head hurt, I was sad, tired and just wanted to lie down and sleep. I downed the pills with some water and was about to my room. But when I passed the ex-pipsqueak's room, I almost bumped into Alphonse, who was just exiting.

"So?", I asked him curiously.

He smiled. "See for yourself."

I peeked into the room to see his brother and his kids huddled together on the girl's bed, sleeping.

Seeing that made me huff.

 _That idiot …_

Silently, I took a cover and tucked them in, then I went to my room.

I didn't sleep well that night.

…

 **More smack-talking. Apparently, that's Envy's job now.**

 **Envy: Oh come on! I thought we agreed that I wouldn't be a Winry-substitute anymore!**

 **Me: Did we? Can't remember that!**

 **Envy: YOUUUUUUU! *lungs at me***

 **Me: *knocks out with a frying pan* See you sometime, guys.**


End file.
